Final Touch

She looked so fragile, laying there on the bed, without the strength to get up. It pained him to see her so helpless. She had fought her illness for 4 years now, and had decided it was time. She had told him the night before that she just couldn't hang on any longer. It killed him to hear it, but he knew she was right. Though he knew this day would come, he could never have properly prepared himself to say good-bye.

15 years had passed since their wedding day. The day he swore to her that he could would never leave her side, that he would be there to tell her good-bye once and for all, and that we would follow her soon after. He just could not bear the thought of his life without her. For 14 years before that day, she had been a part of his life. 7 years as words on a screen, for they had met over the internet when they were just teenagers; and for 7 years she was his devoted lover, best-friend and soulmate. The single most joyous day of his life, was the day they said "I do".

But up until the coming moment, the most horrendous day of his life, was the day the doctor told them that her cancer was inoperable. Had it not been for his promise to say good-bye to her, he'd have taken his own life, over the thought of living without her.

Her voice snapped him out of his sentimental reminiscing. It was weak and quiet, but she still had a hint of her angelic tone left. "Ryan," She said softly, "I'm afraid." Her hand trembled as she lifted it to his. It took nearly all her strength to move it just a few inches.

With tears in his eyes, he caressed her hand. "I know sweetie. I am too."

He couldn't look her in the eyes. Though her beautiful brown eyes still held their softness, they were full of pain and fear. Something he couldn't stand to see in them.

"What can I do to ease your fears my Love?" He asked, fighting back tears.

"Let me feel your touch one last time?"

His heart shattered. When the first started dating, she would ask him to caress her to sleep. Over the years this became automatic for him. He would trace his fingers all over her until she stopped tossing and turning, or her heartbeat and breathing slowed. He knew what she was requesting. She wanted him to caress her until she passed.

"Just lay next to me and touch me for awhile."

He hesitated, not wanting his pain to get any worse; but he knew it would ease hers, and he didn't want her to suffer anymore.

Gingerly, he crawled next to her and under the covers with her. Her eyes were already closed and her breathing began to relax a bit. Though this was the same reaction she had for 22 years to him being next to her, it still caused his heart to sink with fear because of how close she was.

It was easier for them to leave her unclothed to minimize the stress of bathing her, so he didn't need to worry about removing any clothing. And it was also easier on him since they had always slept in the nude anyway, it helped ease his fears a little as well.

He started with her cheeks. Lightly brushing his fingers along them, slowly working his way to her lips, which had once been so full and luscious, now seemed so thin and frail. As his fingers crossed her upper lip, he felt her inhale deeply and try to kiss his finger as she exhaled. He lingered on her face alone for at least 15 minutes, but to the two of them, it felt like forever.

Her life began to replay in her mind. The life that started when they had first found each other in the chat room during her sophomore year of high school. All the memories played for her, from their first meeting onward.

She felt his finger brush away a tear from her temple, and herd him whisper a line from one fer favorite songs, "I've wiped away your tears of pain/Six Hundred and Sixty-Six times for you" She suddenly began remembering all the times they had danced to HIM's live version of Rebel Yell. And how 99.9% percent of the time, they would end up making love right there on the living room floor as the song ended.

Down her neck, his fingers now danced. Her favorite spot to be kissed and touched. How many times had he gently coaxed her out of a dream by touching and kissing her neck? He began to think about the first time he had discovered her sensitivity there to even his lightest breath. How his lingering kisses and melted her, time and time again and washed away her stresses and cares.

Across her collarbone now. A movement he always prolonged until she would open an eye and watch him get lost in her sensuality.

She thought about how this was the only time she would ever just lie there, completely motionless when they began their intimate couplings. Before she met him in person, she had always wondered if a sensual man existed. And oh, how it blew her mind when he told her to lie still for the first time and began to caress her for over the most heavenly hour and a half of her life. She never forgot how he spoke to her while he explored her sensitive body with his hands. Her breasts were the only part of her sexual anatomy he touched in those divine 90 minutes, yet she still felt like she had an extraordinary orgasm. It was that night that she felt their souls merge and become one. It was that night she knew she wanted him forever.

He flattened his hand as he brushed the tops of her breasts. He felt her heart beating weakly in her chest as he blinked away the tears, and began to think about the first time he touched her this way. The night she became his known soulmate. He felt invincible that night, watching his hands, almost from the 3rd person, gliding over her tummy, one hand moving toward her breasts, the other to her thighs. He wished he could touch her like that now, but he was afraid to straddle her for fear of causing her pain. But she seemed relaxed enough with one comforting hand moving across her pale skin.

Her breaths became shorter as he began to circle a finger around her belly button, an activity he found amusing when she had it pierced in her early twenties. He was too lost in his art of caressing her to notice the change though. Her tummy was his favorite place to caress. Although she was a mere 5'1", her stomach had enough area to allow him to move slowly in one direction, then quickly in the opposite way and back again.

He looked to her face in time to see her mouth the words "I love you".

"I love you too, my baby." He replied tearfully. He continued caressing her tummy, knowing that at any moment she would be gone, but he never noticed the moment she left him. For another 3 hours he lay there, absently soothing a pain that was no longer there. It wasn't until he looked at her face again and noticed her lips turning a light shade of blue, that he knew she had crossed.

"Good-bye my one and only. I hope to be with you again soon" He whispered to her body as her gave her cold lips a parting kiss. It was another 2 hours until he left her side.

About a month later, he was on his way from work, hand resting on the center console as if she was next to him holding his hand as she always had been. He looked to the passenger seat and saw what he was sure was her, looking back at him. He was lost in her eyes once again, but now they were full of happiness. He never noticed his speedometer climbing past 90mph, or the back of the semi-truck.

When the firefighters pulled his body from the wreckage, his wallet fell out of his pocket. In it was a letter he had written the day after she passed away.

"Yesterday, I lost my life. Though I continue to roam this world, my soul is gone. He who reads this; know I have been reunited with my guiding light and the purpose that carried me through the living world."