tagReviews & EssaysFinding a Master

Finding a Master

byJoseki Ko©

Finding a Master; A View From The Top

Ok you've come to the realization that you are a slave not a sub. Now how do you go about finding a Master? Is there a guide to finding one? Actually there are lots of them, taking out an ad, visiting clubs, shopping at Walmart, or an e-group posting.

Let's look at the different methods; taking out an ad in a local newspaper can be hazardous. You will get responses from all kinds of creeps, plus you might run into someone that you would prefer didn't know your lifestyle.

Visiting clubs is time consuming and you have to able to find them. Most of America does not have a local BDSM club. With a few exceptions those are pretty well confined to the larger cities.

Shopping at Walmart is an interesting experience. I have met quite a few subs that way. Only a couple of slaves though and one had a Master. But tops do frequent Walmart. E-Group posting is in my opinion the safest and easiest method to finding an actual owner..

Ok now that we know where to look lets discuss what we want to look for. You will be looking for a Master to fulfill your individual needs and desires. So we will tailor make a search for you. ALT has a list of checkable activities that you might like. Go through this list and check all you want. Now copy this list onto a piece of paper and keep it near your computer. You'll need it later.

Next sit down and write your profile. Be honest, because if you lie you won't end up with what you want...and yes that does include lying by omission. Wax as poetic or be as logical as you want. This will be a potential Masters first look at you and you want him to see who you are not just as an object he might want. Pictures will get you a lot more responses. This picture should be something you don't mind letting the world see. I personally thought nudes lacked class. I wanted a good slave not a slut. But if you want to be a slut by all means go for it. Diversity is what makes us all happy and you are looking for someone who wants what you have to offer. Make a copy of this, ALT sometimes losses or corrupts a profile.

Sorting through the chaff; Ok now that our ad is up we will start receiving responses. In all likelihood you will receive a lot of responses. These will characteristically be broke down into types. Well get to those types in a minute. First off, there are the subtle ALT qualifiers I talked about. There are levels you can achieve at ALT; Standard; Silver; and Gold. Were not going to look at anyone below gold level. To become a gold level member you have to spend some cash. A one year membership only costs about one hundred dollars. If the guy can't afford a mere hundred dollars to find the slave of his dreams he is not serious about this yet. There is also an option that for a little more money allows standard members to contact them. These are the guys who are truly serious about the lifestyle.



Erase responses that try to force collar you or try to control you in any way. You may want to be a slave but you are not one yet, and it is your responsibility to find a Master that suits you. This is your opportunity to choose, if he gets you under his whip you may be stuck with him. (Please note I'm just using 'him' as a Master because it's easier for me, we all know there are Dommes out there who would love to own you)

One liners;

These are guy's that are normally younger and know what they want to be but just haven't quite figured out how to go about it yet. They will include statements like, let's fuck, message me back, or I want you. This is another category to erase.

Dick PICs;

Anyone who posts or sends you a PIC of their dick is thinking with the wrong head or has an inferiority complex. Erase these as well.

That will weed out the chaff, now lets move on to the ones you may want to consider.

Life stories;

There will be guys who send you a huge e-mail. Usually this is copied and sent to a large number of women. Read it over though you may find something you like and if you find something personal from your profile you will know he wrote it just for you. You won't get too many of these. It's very frustrating when you send someone a long heartfelt message that takes a long time to write to someone who never even responds.


You will receive invites to come and look at a profile. These are generally very good. They guy has written an excellent profile and thinks that the best way to know if your compatible is for you to look it over. When you look at a profile, that person will be informed that you have looked at it. This will usually get you a follow up e-mail asking how you liked it and what you thought. Answer each one of these honestly even if it's just to say no thanks.

Totally personal notes;

These are guy's who have read your profile and made responses straight to it. Each sentence is obviously sent to you as a person. Read their profile before answering. Again answer these even if just to say no thanks.

Ok those are the basic types you will meet. Be very careful of anyone who tries to control you without asking. Safe Sane and Consensual rules prohibit this. If you like the Master and he likes you, he will put you through some tests to see if you two are compatible. He will ask you if you want to take these tests. By all means take the tests for you will learn as much about him as he will learn about you. As you progress in your search you will find out more and more about what you want in a Master. This is a process not a magic bullet.

Let's get into more specifics on what you're looking for. You already have one of these lists. Let's do a second list. On this list you will right all the qualities you want to find in a Master. This list will grow as you talk to more and more people who wish to own you. You will start out with the basics. Trust will head the list because that is what the entire lifestyle is about if you can't trust someone you shouldn't be with them. As you learn more about yourself, you will learn more about what you need and want in a Master. Your list will change over time to include or exclude things you discover. On a general note guys under thirty five are still working out what they want in a slave. Guys thirty five and over pretty much know themselves and what they want.

Ok online is great but eventually they will want you to come see them. Have them buy you a two way ticket on a plane. If they refuse or want you to buy the ticket call it a day. Just on a side note I have done this since 911 and it is possible. So don't be fooled. Have a contact when you go someone who knows where you are going and is expecting a phone call every day or so. For the most part everyone you meet will be a normal person, even if you end up not getting along. But all it takes is one head case. Play Safe Sane and Consensual.

Now I went through several weekends with a slave before I found one I truly wanted to keep. Don't be afraid to say no. It is your responsibility to find a Master that you can live with.

When you do find a Master and move in with him remember if you do get stuck in a bad situation help is only a phone call away. Friends, family, police or other Masters who take in slaves and see them get to their feet again.

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byJoseki Ko© 0 comments/ 21071 views/ 1 favorites

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