Finding Home Ch. 02

Cassy struggled to breathe. "Please don't call me that. Please don't call me child." And to her horror she burst into tears. She felt herself enveloped in strong soft arms and held tightly against a soft ample bosom.

"Oh sweet baby. Let go. Its good to cry. We won't call you that if it hurts." For some reason beyond her ability to understand she began to sob deep ragged sobs. Her whole body wracked with grief. She let herself be held as the older woman rocked and crooned. "You two kids get yourself up to your rooms. I will stay here with her and make sure she gets upstairs OK."

Cassy felt a hand pat her clumsily on the shoulder and Acadia said, "Its OK Cassy, I cried nearly everyday for a week when I first got here."

When the sobs receded to hiccups. Cassy pulled her head up from the apron. She could see it was wet from her tears. "I'm sorry. I don't know what happened."

"Don't apologize, baby girl, you were full of tears. It was time to let go. Tell me why I can't call you child."

"Someone I love very much calls me that. I just miss him so much."

"Your Master?"

Cassy looked up in surprise.

"Don't be so surprised. The Professor keeps me up to date about our new clients. I don't know a whole lot beyond you are depressed, have a marked tendency to disassociate, and are in a very deep dominant submissive relationship. The professor warned me to try and wake you up if you seem to be zoning out. Don't worry all your secrets are safe with me. I understand a lot of what you are going through. I had a Master once, god bless his soul in heaven. Not a day goes by where I don't miss him like my heart will break all over again. My Master's name for me was Baby."

Cassy nodded and hugged the big soft woman in sympathy. "Thank You. Thank you so much."

"Let me walk you up to your room. That way if the Professor catches you out of your room at this time I can explain that we had to have a little talk."

Momma walked her up to her room. She went in and turned and thanked the motherly woman one more time.

In her room the little timer was beeping and Cassy remembered about the ointment. She rushed into the bathroom and applied the cream. She was too distracted thinking about the scene in the kitchen to focus much on the process, mechanically rubbing in the cream. She hissed as the burn settled down to the more familiar itchy tickle.

Cassy carefully hung up her clothes and dropped her stockings into the hamper. She pulled on a night gown and the soft robe. She moved to the computer terminal. She added to her journal about the evening; about Windy's lie and subsequent kick and about meeting Miss Mia and their conversation. She wrote about hard it was to cry and how light and empty she felt afterward.

Next Cassy clicked on the sexual preferences test icon. The software opened with a page giving directions. A picture would show and there would be rating gage displayed below. The gage had an ice cube on one side and a flame on the other side with a ten levels in between. She would have ten seconds to rate each picture, in terms of how sexually stimulating she found the image. If there were any pictures she did not rate in the ten second time she would have an opportunity to state why she could not decide for each one at the end of the test. The test would take one hour and she should not start until she had an hour to devote to taking it.

Cassy checked the clock. She wondered if it would be OK to put off putting the ointment on if she was in the middle of this test. She decided to go ahead and do the questionnaire and put on the ointment again immediately after she was done. She wanted to get the test done tonight before going to sleep.

She started the test. It went fast. Dozens of pictures flashed by; neutral pictures of men, women, children, nudes, babies, animals, mixed in randomly with artistic nudity, hard and soft core pornography, group scenes, male and female gay sex, even some gross bestiality, and a lot pictures of women and men in mild to extreme bondage scenes. She answered promptly for all but three pictures. One was a picture of of her Master smiling. One was a picture of herself with her face contorted with orgasm. The third was a small blond child with her lips sealed but tears flowing down her cheeks.

The second part of the test was for her to explain in narrative form why she was unable to answer promptly for those three pictures. She spent a lot of time thinking about what had happened.

She wrote about the picture of her Master. "I hesitated. My first thought was of love, total and complete love, but sex I didn't know. Its almost like I am not allowed to feel that about him. Like it would be disrespectful." She wrote about the second picture of herself looking lost in ecstasy. "My first impulse was that I wanted to rate this one the highest of all, but then I felt blocked, like I was wrong or bad to think that. By then the picture was gone." About the third picture she wrote. "This picture stopped me. She looked so sad. My heart just broke and I forgot what I was supposed to do."

The soft chime from her timer had been ringing for a while. She got up and reapplied the ointment. She tried to focus on the task, paying attention to how it felt to massage the ointment into her clitoris. She felt a little nervous, like she was being watched. She wondered if there were cameras in her room. She tried to calm her thoughts and focus again on the sensation. She decided to move to the bed and continue the application under the covers. She idly wondered if she would get in trouble if she took longer than five minutes. She giggled softly and stopped in wonder. She could not remember the last time she had laughed.

Cassy finished applying the ointment and got ready for bed. She turned off her computer and set her alarm clock for 6:00am. She turned off all the lights in the room except the light in the bathroom and left the door open so it wouldn't be completely dark. She took off her robe and slipped between the covers. It took a long time to go to sleep.