Finding Home Ch. 09

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Xantu
Xantu
613 Followers

"I will never forget the first time I saw the two of them. They were coming out of the music building screaming at each other. I never saw two such beautiful men at the same time, exact opposites and yet staggeringly beautiful. I had to get to know them. I offered to buy them both dinner if they would call a truce for the evening. I was already somewhat a man around campus, having gotten in trouble with some to the politics of the running of the school. Both knew who I was. I was a bit of a hero to some of the underclassmen because I took on the dean and got a particularly incompetent ass fired from the music department."

"We got to be good friends. We spent a lot of free time together. Nathan was openly bisexual and made no secret of his attraction to Jesus. You never heard such a classic closet gay homophobe as Jesus could be in those days. It was obvious he was as attracted to Nathan as Nathan was to him. He just couldn't stand the idea that he was. He was pretty cruel to Nathan, but Nathan could be an ass too. I spent most of my time playing peace keeper."

"When Jesus finally gave in to the truth about himself it was pretty amazing. It was epic. Those two could not get enough of each other but they still clashed all the time. They would fight and one or the other would come to me to get their wounds bandaged, both physical and mental. I have to admit I was not above taking advantage of their vulnerabilities to be with each of them."

His voice was soft and reminiscing, "There were a few times when all three of us would..." He stopped himself and tickled her waist. "That was a long time ago."

"You guys were all bisexual?"

"Definitely, we loved nothing more than picking up little college babes and having orgies in those days. Thats when we all got interested in the BDSM lifestyle. Jesus and I saw it as just a new kinky way to have fun, but Nathan found a way of life for himself."

"How did it all fall apart?"

"I had to complete my residency in Psychiatry and it was in another state. Nathan's father died leaving him the estate and the bookstores. Jesus started making money off some software patents. With me gone they just fought more and more. Jesus started to take off for days and weeks at a time and then finally he stopped coming home. Nathan dropped out, out of school, out of almost everything. Both Nathan and Jesus kept in touch with me but they had stopped talking to each other."

"And thats how we get here."

"With you Cassy. I think you will be the key to all this. You have the magic to bring us all back together."

"Me?"

"I saw you with Jesus. I see you with Nathan. I know how you make me feel. You can be the catalyst we need to heal the rift between us."

"Do you think Nathan and Jesus could forgive each other? Nathan is so angry and Jesus is so sad."

"We have to save them."

"I won't be able to do this without you."

"I think you have no idea how much I love you. You are stuck with me whether we get those big idiots to come around to the idea or not."

Cassy looked up at him in wonder. "I won't leave Nathan, ever. I will put his wishes before mine always. If he does not wish it, it will not happen."

"Your commitment to Nathan is beyond beauty. It is central to your perfection. It is one of the reasons I love you."

Cassy sighed and snuggled close to him, running her fingers through the thick hair of his chest. "I was a virgin when I met Nathan. Your body is very different. The feelings I have when you touch me are surprisingly different. Nice but different. With Nathan a tiny corner of my mind is always alert, watching, worrying about the perfection. With you I forget myself. That and the fact you seem to be covered in hair." She giggled.

"Nathan and Jesus called me wookie."

"Wookie?"

"Yea like Chewbacca in the Star Wars movie."

Cassy began to giggle. "I think I am going to need to get some birth control doctor. I am not sure if a wookie baby or for that matter a chocolate baby would fit well into this complex equation."

"You would make a beautiful mother Cassy. I would be proud to have you be the mother of my children. But you are right. Now is definitely not the right time."

"I am not sure about babies. I never have liked kids at all. Nathan is adamant about no kids. He had a vasectomy long before I ever met him. The only time he ever mentioned it he said something awful about improving the gene pool."

"He has a lot of work to do before he can accept his albinism."

"I never have been around kids much. Just the kids at the store and some I would see around town. It seemed like they were always screaming."

"Cassy, you just noticed the screaming ones. Stop and think about what you know about yourself. How do you think a screaming, crying, noisy child would resonate with the Cassy who was hiding?"

"Oh my god. They would have scared the hell out of her. They were going to get killed. They were going to get her killed."

"Children do not always cry and scream. And when they do, they have a right to do it. It is a very valid form of communication when you don't have adult communication skills. Hell a lot of adults still scream and cry."

Cassy was squirming under his caressing fingers. "If you don't let me go, I am going to demand sex from you, fuck the consequences. I am damn close to screaming and crying now."

"I have a delicious image of bringing you home to Nathan fat with my baby in your belly. But alas not today. Come here pretty thing, lets take care of that nervous tension." He held her close his fingers suddenly more insistent, probing deeply into her depths, his lips finding hers.

Cassy was moving slowly and sensually as she found her way into the kitchen for lunch. Momma was sitting at the table with a bowl of steaming soup. "Mmm... smells wonderful Momma. It seems like I am hungrier every day."

Mia ladled up a bowl and pushed it over to Cassy. "It shows you are happy."

Windy swept into the kitchen. "Last final done. Two weeks freedom, here I come." Her voice was joyful.

Momma clapped. "Good job. How did they go?"

"Cake, smooth as a goose pooping!"

Momma laughed, "Always the lady."

Cassy asked, "Freedom?"

"I am not a slave to books, homework, school schedules for two weeks. Freedom. Pure wonderful freedom."

Suddenly Windy seemed to become aware of Cassy in the kitchen. "Hey girlfriend. Hows things?"

"Every time things seem like they can't get any better, something amazing happens and I just get happier."

"No fist fights?"

"I seem to have substituted mattress wrastling."

Momma sniffed and tried to look scandalized, but then she cracked up. Windy screamed in appreciation. "That Nathan guy is totally sexy, in a freaky alien abduction kind of sexy, freaky. You will have to give me all the dirty details sometime."

"Only if you tell me about Jesus."

"Oh girlfriend there is so much to tell." Windy held her hands up about twelve inches apart and grinned lasciviously. "He is the man of my dreams."

"I like that you call me girlfriend. I need a good friend. Actually I need a best friend, if you are interested."

Windy looked at her and looked very thoughtful. "I can't promise not to be a crazy bitch."

"But I can promise to love you anyway. If you get too crazy bitchy, I will just have to punch you out."

"Works for me. Maybe I can give you lessons in how to hit me better. You are a terrible hitter."

"What I lack in experience I make up in enthusiasm."

"Well if we are girlfriends we should go shopping."

"Sounds like fun but I don't have any money."

"Neither do I. I just go in and try on stuff and act like I am rich bitch snob. We could play dare."

"Dare?"

"Yea. If I see something I want to see you try on, I dare you put it on and come out of the dressing room and pose in front of the mirrors. You can do the same."

"I am way too shy to do that."

"Ooh, that would make it twice as delicious. Come on Cassy this is what girlfriends do."

Cassy was nervous about being out in public. "What if I can't?"

"Then I promise to love you anyway. Come on Cassy I want to celebrate getting done with finals. We don't have to play dare if you don't want to. I just want to get out of here."

"I don't know if I have permission to go out."

Momma huffed. "Go, go. Just be back for dinner."

Cassy ran up to her room. She grabbed her purse and billfold. Inside her purse she was surprised to find her cell phone. She laughed wondering how long she had had it and not known. She had one twenty dollar bill. An old leftover from her life before Nathan. At least they could have a soda or something when they were out.

She met Windy in the hall. Windy had a large handbag with her. "Come on lets go. Its only about ten blocks to a nice upscale shopping district. I haven't been there in over a year so they probably won't throw me out."

As they passed the downstairs guest bathroom, Windy put her fingers to her lips and drug Cassy in. She opened her bag and handed Cassy a soft red silk blouse and a pretty beaded vest to go over it. She whispered, "We don't want to look like school girls. She looked over Cassy. Nice color for you." She squeezed into a more daring, form fitting black low cut top and a heavy gold choker. They left their blouses carefully folded and stashed under the sink.

They walked arm in arm out into the soft spring sunshine.

It was almost seven when the came in. Cassy was out of breath from laughing so much. Windy had kept her giggling and blushing the whole time. They had worked their way from one store to another, looking through racks of cloths, trying on dozens of dresses. Windy seemed to have endless critical comments about the various designers they were trying on.

At one point a handsome man tried to get friendly with them, but Windy sent him packing with a some very sharp remarks. "He was way too ordinary. We like dimensional guys." Again she held her hands up about twelve inches apart. "Oh baby."

"He isn't really that big is he?"

"Maybe not that big but fucking plenty big. He has the biggest cock I have ever fucked. And man he is so good with it. Assets and skills, all wrapped up in that fucking awesome hunky body. Cassy I could totally be good for that man."

"He is bi you know."

"I know he told me. But so am I. I believe everyone is. You just need to loosen up girlfriend. It could add a whole new dimension to this best friend thing." Cassy did not say yes, but she did not say no either. She filed that away for future thought. Windy was not so scary these days.

Dinner was uneventful except Mary was not there. The Professor told them that her parents had decided to give her a chance to stay home and continue her treatment as an outpatient.

Jesus was conspicuously absent. Cassy thought about what the Professor had said about Jesus leaving and just not coming back. She wondered if she had pushed him into running away again.

Cassy volunteered to help clean up after dinner. As she helped Momma she asked, "Have you heard from Jesus?"

"Oh yes sweetie, he decided to get started on working on his motorcycle and he lost track of time. He said he would just grab some order out."

Cassy felt a knot of nervousness inside her relax. He might be avoiding her but at least he was not on the road. "Windy really likes him. I think its a lot more than just physical. Her eyes light up so when she talks about him."

Momma was vigorously wiping off the counters. "Jesus should be carefuller about who he messes with. If he breaks her heart I will be so mad at him."

"Momma love is a two edged sword. He takes the same risks she does. At least he is taking risks. What were the words? A framework to hang hope on? You have to buy the lottery ticket?"

Cassy was deep in thought as she walked up to her room. She logged onto her computer and reread her Master's letter. She thought back. Again the morning seemed weeks, even a life time ago. The feeling of exhilaration, the sense of infinite possibilities was still there.

Dearest Nathan, lover, Master,

It has been another day filled with learning and surprises. The first thing I did was read your letter. My first thoughts were to protest that I would not leave you alone, not even for a second, because what you need will always be first before what I need. No that is not exactly right. More like as long as you need, I don't have have any needs of my own. That was certainly true for the old Cassy.

But the new Cassy, the one that will be coming home to you soon, felt a wave of excitement at the very concept of an open door. Suddenly the world was full of infinite possibilities. I was suddenly trying on all kinds of ideas; a car, a job, travel, adventure, friends... It will take a while to decide but thank you for that open door. Anything I will choose will have to bring me closer to you. I would not accept anything less.

You talk of putting my happiness before yours. That is impossible, for my happiness is yours, and yours mine. I have had a long long talk with the Professor, with Cam, about you and Jesus. When I speak to Jesus, he tries so hard to be loud, funny, outrageous; but all I see is his grief and fear. It breaks my heart that you two love each other so much and cannot face that love because of how much you have hurt each other. I know that Cam has probably spoken to you endlessly about this, but because I love you and your happiness is my happiness, I beg you to risk again. Please forgive him.

So that is my first wish. I wish you, Jesus, and Cam can be friends again. You guys are my family. I desperately need a family.

The second wish I put before you is a little silly. Could I have some money? I could maybe make a very good argument that I have been reading for you for these past three years and my paycheck is very very overdue. Today I went shopping with Windy and I would have actually bought something if I had some money. It occurs to me that if I ever choose to walk out that open door it might be a good idea to have some clothes on.

My third wish will be simple. I have my cell phone back and I would love to call you and tell you I love you. But most embarrassing is I have no idea what your phone number is. If you told me, I promptly forgot. A girl lost in silence has no need of phone numbers.

The Professor, Cam, and I have had several really long talks and I am feeling very much closer to him. We have shared very much with each other and I must confess it was both physical and spiritual. I know this is according to your wishes but I wanted to tell you.

Please don't be afraid. I love you more than ever, you will always be the center of my heart. I am just learning that there is room for others in my heart as well. Keep in mind, Cam tells us change is good. What ever we decide it will be what is best for both of us.

Maybe this is not the place to talk to you about this but I am full of infinite possibility.

I love you. Cassy, little one, pretty slut.

Cassy logged onto her journal and tried to write how about her day, focusing more on her feelings than on the details. She wrote most about the fun she had shopping with Windy, about her talking with Windy about being best friends.

Close to 11:00 Cassy changed into her night gown and crawled into bed. She pulled out one of the novels she had brought up from the library. I was a book about the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz, kind of a story about the whole thing from her perspective. Windy thought back to the sleeping beauty books that had led her to Nathan. She had not read a book for her own enjoyment in a long time. She smiled and wondered what lay between the pages of this book, where it would take her.

The Professor knocked on her door precisely at 11:00. Cassy practically flew to the door, but once she opened it she felt a wave of uncertainty. She hesitated and looked down. Who was this? Was this the open loving man who had lain with her this morning? Was this the Professor, the man who had saved her from the gray wind, the man who filled her head up with answers in the night?

She felt his hand under her chin, lifting her face to look up at him. "What is it little one?"

"Sometimes it is confusing. My first impulse is to fly into your arms and cover your face with kisses, my second is to stand and wait for your instruction. I don't know what to call you. I don't know how I am supposed to act."

"Call me Cam when we are alone. Call me Professor around other clients. I love kisses but we do have work to do while you are still here so we shouldn't spend too much time indulging our selves."

"Work?"

"Cassy most of the things I suggest to you after you fall asleep are encouragement. You are infinitely more confident and enthusiastic than the little girl who came here just a week ago. It has a lot to do with me suggesting to you things like; you have a lot to say, people want to hear you, you deserve to be happy, and things like that. All of this is suggestion. Hypnotism is not brain washing, it is opening doors and encouraging people to walk through them. You could not have made such progress so quickly without this encouragement."

"I certainly feel different."

"I am an impatient man. I like short cuts. I like to see the progress my patients make. You, I must say, have blossomed into something I had not anticipated. Something pretty wonderful."

"You make me feel wonderful."

"Back to work girl. Tomorrow I have made an appointment with a gynecologist for you to talk to her about birth control. I also want you to go ahead and get a physical. Not a bad idea to start getting those pipes checked now and then."

"Tonight at dinner you mentioned that Mary was going to be seeing you on an outpatient basis. I must say my ears perked up at the idea."

"When you are ready to go home we could continue counseling outpatient if we both determine it is best. But you are here now and lets make the most of the time we have." He handed the sleeping pill to her and she took it happily.

"Promise to kiss me good bye?"

"You look so sweet asleep, your ears open to all my words. It will be hard to stop at just a kiss."

"It would be hardly fair to me to miss all the fun. But what I don't know about can't hurt me so feel free to abuse my unconscious body to your hearts content."

"You are a terrible temptress." His lips found hers and he soundly kissed her until she could not hold her head up.

Her voice was foggy and fading. "Wow, the whole bed is spinning. And Jesus thinks he is a good kisser."

Xantu
Xantu
613 Followers
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4 Comments
notmichellenotmichellealmost 13 years ago

Lovely writing. Thanks so much for sharing it.

Invisible2uInvisible2uabout 16 years ago
Okay...

...I have to admit that I am not altogether comfortable about the relationship between Cassy and the professor. I can't help it. I just think that she needs to get back to her Master and go about making change and feeling the new part of her out with him before bringing others into the mix. I have a feeling that her feelings for the Professor are just residual lust for the Master she cannot have access to at all times.

Billydee2Billydee2about 16 years ago
Very Good Story

It's getting really interesting now. Wonder what happens next with the 3 men and 2 girls.

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