Finding my Place Ch. 02

During Christmas and the next few days I was floating on cloud nine, I was even overly nice to my younger brother Chris offering to take him and his friends shopping at one of the malls. My mom was concerned, not sure what had gotten into me. She finally asked if there was a "girl" behind my behavior change. "Sort of" was all I could reply, forcing her to drop the topic. I waited patiently for Mrs. Alexander, Olivia, to call, hoping, praying there would be another babysitting opportunity. I waited and waited, what seems like years, though it was only four days until I received the call. It was Olivia asking if I could baby sit Melissa New Years Eve. She apologized again for the last minute request. Apparently they were going out of town for the day, spending a night at some bigwig's place in the mountains and Katie could only stay during the day. She asked if I could spend the night at their place and that they would be back by noon on the First. I of course agreed, given I had no plans anyway. After a moment of silence, Olivia then suggested I come by the next day and she would give me special instructions. In saying it she laughed in her gleeful way which I interpreted in only one way – we were going to have sex again. She didn't make any overt comment about what happened between us or what might happen again, I just let it go.

Though the Alexanders lived only ten minutes away I left thirty minutes early, forcing me to drive around the neighborhood a bit. Eventually it was noon and I rang the doorbell, not a second late. I had no idea what to expect, if Melissa or even Mr. Alexander were around, or if it was just Olivia and I – she gave no indication of what was in store for me. She opened the door with her usual sense of glee and joy-with-the-world smile and gave me a small peck on the cheek as she welcomed me inside. I didn't say anything or do anything, not sure who was around.

Olivia sat me down on the sofa and then excused herself for a few minutes, heading up the stairs. I sat nervously in the quiet house, making me think that Mr. Alexander and Melissa were out for the day. I then heard Olivia call me, asking me to come upstairs. I jumped out of the couch, bouncing two steps at a time up the staircase to her bedroom door, which was open just ajar.

"Olivia?" I called from outside the door, my heart racing with anticipation.

"Come in, loverboy!"

I opened the door and there was Olivia, standing at the foot of the bed in a black teddy, nylons and stiletto heels – just as in several of the pictures in her photo album. I gasped, my jaw dropping, lost in her beauty, her raw sexuality.

"You are so gorgeous, so sexy. I am the luckiest guy. I can't believe..."

"Shhhhhh" she commanded, waving me over towards her.

I walked right up to her, grabbed her in my arms, and kissed her. My hands went roaming over her back, cupping her ass cheeks and pulling her into me tightly, my hard cock pressed against her.

"Hurry," she said, "we don't have much time, William took Melissa to one of her friend's in Englewood and they will be back soon. But we have enough time to take care of this!" she said, reaching down and cupping my crotch. She slithered down my body, rubbing her tits against my chest, and deftly undid my jeans, pulling them and my briefs down, freeing my hard cock.

She wasted no time licking and kissing my cock, up and down my shaft before placing it in her mouth. She began by just sucking the tip, driving me crazy, wanting to feel my cock fully in her mouth. I started humping my hips, then grabbed her head with both my hands and gently pushed my cock further into her mouth until I was completely buried. God, what a sensation it was, particularly given the view I had of her perfect little ass sticking out behind her.

She sucked me a few times, and given my youthfulness, it didn't take long until I was ready to cum. I wanted to cum in her mouth and held my hands tight on her head as my muscles tightened and I unleashed a load of cum. I heard her gagging a bit as she tried to swallow it all and released her. As she pulled her face away from my cock, another spurt let loose, hitting her on the chin. Olivia laughed with joy, scooping up the cum and placing it into her mouth.

She stood up again and leaned in to kiss me. I couldn't refuse her, but the sudden thought of tasting my cum on her lips didn't excite me. I kissed her, but reluctantly, she sensed my discomfort and pulled away.

"Trust me, it tastes great!" she said with a huge smile on her face. "It's normal to taste yourself, don't be afraid, it turns a woman on to have a man comfortable enough to kiss her after filling her mouth with his cum."

I needed no more encouragement and initiated a kiss with her, opening my mouth to allow my tongue to explore hers and taste my own cum mixed with her saliva. It was a new experience for me; everything I did with Olivia was a new experience. With her, I was a different person, she gave me confidence.

"God, how I want that beautiful cock of yours inside of me, pumping into my wet pussy," she sensually whispered as she rubbed her hand over it. "But we can't, there's no time, you need to go now. Please hurry!"

"But, but ..."

"Shhhhh, hurry, I know, we will have time soon, trust me."

She watched me pull up my jeans then sauntered over and kissed me passionately. I couldn't let go of her, I didn't ever want to let go of her, but she slowly backed me up towards the door, finally breaking the kiss as she shooed me down the stairs. I let myself out and drove not really sure where I was heading; I couldn't go home but didn't have any other place to go. I drove out a ways and as it turned out, I was passing Cinderella City mall and decided a walk through the mall might distract me sufficiently.

I wandered aimlessly not really paying much attention until I heard my name called out. I stopped, turning around, wondering who would notice me to begin with and then have the interest in meeting me. As I turned around I saw, of all people, Katie, along with two other girls from our class, Meagan and Beth, who were whispering to Katie. I could easily guess they were asking her why she bothered to call out my name, now they would have to chat with the loser.

I decided to ignore them as best I could and focused instead on my new found confidence, on Olivia's words and guidance of stepping up to bat. Without flinching I greeted Katie back and said a cursory hi to Meagan and Beth. I asked how their Christmas was and joked if they were already returning the gifts from their grandparents or something. They all laughed, as that was exactly what they were doing. I also noticed that Meagan and Beth were looking at each other with big question marks on their faces, as if they were asking one another, who is this guy. Katie seemed to take joy in my ability to talk.

Katie then asked if Olivia spoke to me about the 31st night and I assured her that it was no problem. She apologized and thanked me profusely for my willingness to take over. On parting, Katie said she would see me in a few days.

Though I would not have the opportunity of meeting Olivia, the idea of seeing Katie at the Alexanders' began to excite me. Since moving to Denver three years earlier I had had a crush on Katie. She was the perfect girl-next-door type, naturally beautiful with short cropped curly dirty-blonde hair, tall and slender body, radiant eyes, and small, pert breasts. She also had an amazing ass and firm, long legs. She seemed to always smile and was very intelligent, one of the smarter girls in our class.

Late in the spring of the previous year, our Junior year, she changed. Her eyes had become distant and cold, she rarely smiled, and never spoke up in class. I noticed the transformation, but of course never broached the subject with her; in fact, I never really spoke with her at all, or anyone for that matter.

Over the summer months I didn't think about it much and when our Senior year commenced, Katie was back to her usual, smiling self. Only, there was another change in her – she actually approached me several times and spoke to me. My loner status didn't seem to bother her and she seemed less concerned about how others were going to judge her. Of course, each time she approached me I usually fumbled through the conversation, being so shy and having such little self-confidence.

Though Olivia had begun to instill in me confidence and gave me instructions on how to interact with women, it was still all so new. I felt comfortable when I had met Katie at the mall but now it was going to be just her and I, and of course little Melissa. The thought of being alone with her made me nervous, making me think about how I was going to come off as such a loser when we met, the though of which made me even more nervous.

It was too late to back out, I was committed to watch Melissa and spend the night of the 31st. When I drove up to the Alexanders' house I parked in the driveway and took several deep breaths before grabbing my bag and walking up to the door. Katie answered and welcomed me in; I was unable to say much more than "hi." Fortunately, Melissa jumped up and ran over to greet me, saving me from an awkward silence with Katie.

With Melissa present I was able to make some small talk with Katie, giving me time to find my place, remembering my times with Olivia. We talked about their day then Katie passed along the instructions for the night. I then quizzed her about the party she was attending tonight. She explained that every year Dillon's family went to the Country Club party and he asked her along. Dillon was the rich kid everybody loved. Smart, though not intelligent, fun loving, gracious, though certainly not that kind. He and Katie were the "perfect" couple, or so everybody said.

Then Katie started to quiz me on why I didn't have any plans for the night.

"You want the long version or the short version?" I replied, laughing, more to myself than anything.

She sat a moment in silence, just looking at me, like she was trying to see into me.

"The long version."

"But don't you have to get going to your country club party? I don't want to bore you and keep you from your fun."

"Why are you so self effacing?" I just stared at her, my mouth slightly open not able to respond. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you but it seems to me you are more dismissive of yourself than anyone else. Were you always like this?" she asked me, almost accusatively.

"Why do you care?"

"I'm sorry, maybe I should go. Obviously, I'm prying into your private space. Keep it private all you want."

Now it was my turn to stare at her, trying to read what she was up to. Despite saying she should go, she stayed seated. In our moment of silence, of trying to figure out where this was leading and if it was a path either of us wanted to follow, Melissa burst in, ready for some dessert.

I was a bit slow on responding, so Katie got up and started making all of us chocolate sundaes.

"Have you eaten yet?" Katie asked. "The Alexanders left lots of food for us. I fed Melissa earlier."

"No I haven't, but its New Years Eve, nothing wrong with starting with dessert first!" I exclaimed. With that, Melissa cheered. I swooped down and picked her up, as she screamed, and told her to grab the chocolate sauce which she started to squeeze over the bowls of ice cream Katie had scooped for the three of us.

Melissa took her bowl and ran back to the TV room, while Katie and I sat down at the kitchen table. I fell silent, using the ice cream as my excuse for not talking.

"I'm not letting you off so easy!" Katie laughed.

"Why do you want to know my past?"

"Despite what you think of yourself Shaun, you are actually an interesting person. I just wish you wouldn't hide it so much."

Again, I just looked at her, wondering who she was and what she was up to.

"I don't have anything to hide, only haven't found many to share with. I'm not into the whole high school scene, in case you hadn't noticed. It's childish."

"It is, but there are real people out there too, also struggling, you aren't the only one whose had difficulties in life. Trust me!"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes, I'd like to know more about you."

"But honestly, don't you have to go to your party. Maybe another night we can have an opening up session, I don't want to ruin your New Year's."

"Ruin it? Trust me, I'd rather be here talking with a friend than be Dillon's show piece for the night with a bunch of stuck up people I don't know."

"Thanks, Katie; I don't know what to say. I didn't know."

"No, you don't know, so stop judging everybody and being so elitist and allusive."

"Guess I deserve that."

"Let's cook some dinner and I'll tell you whatever you want to know," I suggested.

"Sounds like a great plan, and a great way to start off New Year's Eve."

We heated up a casserole Olivia left for us and cut up a salad. While preparing dinner, after checking in on Melissa, Katie started asking me questions about my past, growing up in rural Kansas, my parents' divorce, and the move to Denver. I opened up to her, telling her about losing my moorings when I moved and the loss I felt given the distance with my sister, Suzie. Katie asked me a few questions about Suzie and my relationship with her. It was the first time I spoke about her to anyone since the move to Denver three years earlier. Katie picked up immediately on my soft spots and showed genuine interest and concern.

We ate our dinner chatting on and on about Kansas, high school, family, friends, and whatever else passed through our minds. It felt so natural, so easy like we were the best of friends for years. By this time, Melissa was out cold and Katie took her upstairs and put her to bed. In the mean time I brought in some wood from the garage and started a fire in the living room. When Katie returned she smiled widely, welcoming the warmth. We curled up on the couch, each grabbing a comforter to cover ourselves up.

Now it was my turn to pry into her life. It just slipped out, without me really thinking about it.

"Katie, what happened to you last spring?"

With that Katie fell silent, her eyes turned dark and she glared at me.

After a moment of silence, she replied "What makes you think anything happened last spring? What are you talking about?"

"Katie, I'm sorry, it isn't my place to pry. If you don't want to talk about it, it's Ok."

"Did Olivia tell you? How do you know? Tell me," she demanded, angrily.

"Olivia? No, no she didn't tell me anything. I just knew; you changed, I saw it in you. At the time, I just couldn't ask, couldn't say anything. Though I think I know what happened."

"You know? How would you know? How the fuck would you know what happens in my personal life?"

"Katie, I'm sorry, please. Really, I should not have asked."

"No, how did you know?"

"I watch, I observe. I may be a quiet loner but it doesn't mean I don't exist. I can read people pretty well, at least when I'm not all nervous and shy," I replied, laughing, hoping to lighten the mood.

Katie didn't laugh. Rather, she started to cry.

Whispering, I apologized again, "Katie, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for whatever Hank did to you and I'm sorry I pried."

"Do you know what the bastard did?"

"I can guess, but, no, I don't know for sure."

"What, what did he do?"

"Katie, this isn't necessary. I'm sorry. You have two younger sisters, don't you?"

"No, tell me, Mister Observant, thee who sees all! What did he do?"

"Katie, really, I'm sorry. We can ...

"Stop! Stop saying your sorry god damn it. Tell me, I want to hear it from you."

Her voice was still angry, accusative, as if somehow my knowing victimized her further.

"I remember you missing several days of class back in April. And when you returned, you weren't the same. Your eyes are like they are now, dark, distant, cold. Not like you; you are usually so warm, so friendly, so open. I saw it Katie, I saw the change. I think the others saw something too, but they were too afraid, they ignored it..."

"You ignored it. You never said anything to me. You never tried to befriend me."

"No, I couldn't follow through on my feelings, on what I wanted to do."

"But you haven't told me what Hank did. Tell me damn it!"

"Katie, please, this isn't necessary."

"Yes it is, please tell me," she squeaked out as she began to cry. "Please say it. I can't."

I whispered, barely audible above her crying, "He raped you."

With that she broke into sobbing tears. I sat there a moment not sure what to do, shaken by her own pain, my eyes watering up. I finally got the courage to crawl out from underneath my comforter and kneeled on the floor in front of her and hugged her. At first she didn't respond, but after a few moments she lifted her arms and placed them on my shoulders, around my neck and pulled me tighter against her. We stayed like that for a long time, Katie crying into my shoulder. Neither of us saying a word. I ran my hand over her head, through her hair, over her back.

After some time, she pulled back, looking into my eyes, her arms still on my shoulders, her own eyes puffy with tears.

"Shaun, I'm so sorry. You are the first, after all these months that actually said it, that was willing to admit what happened. All my friends just ignored it, the pretended like they saw nothing, knew nothing. They wanted to believe I was so upset because Hank and I broke up! Can you believe that? They couldn't see me, but you did. Shaun, thank you."

"Katie, can I ... can ..."

"What? What are you asking?"

I took a deep breath. "Katie, you are beautiful." She gave me a glorious smile. "May I kiss you?"

She laughed, "May you kiss me? God, you are silly! What planet do you live on? Nobody has ever asked if they can kiss, they just do it."

I didn't say anything, I just looked at her. She nervously chewed on her lower lip. "Oh, and yes, you may kiss me!" she said, laughing more.

I still couldn't move forward, but then I felt her arms around me pull me into her. Our lips touched, and it was truly one of those magical moments, a kiss you never forget, complete with fireworks exploding around us. Just as our mouths were opening and our tongues were taking their first explorations, the phone rang, jolting us out of our reverie.

Kneeling on the floor for so long, my legs had gone stiff and as I was trying to get up, Katie just jumped off the couch and ran into the kitchen to get the phone. It was Dillon. Giving her some privacy to talk to Dillon I went upstairs to check on Melissa and see if the phone call awoke her. She was sound asleep and on her bed side clock I noticed that it was past eleven o'clock.

I did overhear part of Katie's phone conversation; she lied to Dillon explaining that I had fallen sick and she had to stay on to take care of Melissa. Dillon was obviously mad at her and Katie told him that Beth was probably there and why didn't he just hang out with her and hung up the phone. He didn't call back.

I opened my mouth to apologize to her again, for keeping her away from Dillon, but she just shhhhhed me. She grabbed my hand and we walked back to the living room. This time, we curled up together, Katie in my arms the comforter drawn over the both of us. Katie then went on to tell me what had happened. She cried. I cried. She fell silent. I fell silent. She talked. I listened.

"Thank you Shaun. I'm sorry if I depressed you. Not the best way to start the New Year!"

"Actually, it is the best way to start the New Year, anew. I can't imagine a better New Year's than being with you, listening to you, sharing with you, holding you."

Katie shifted her self, turning partially around so that we were face to face and kissed me. We slid down further on the couch, Katie on top of me, kissing passionately, hotly. Without even thinking about what was happening or what I should or shouldn't do, I held her tightly, allowing my hands to roam over her body, sliding down her back to her ass. At first, lightly, then harder, I cusped her ass making her moan into my mouth. She slowly began to rub her hips over me, grinding herself onto my hardening cock. I slid one hand up, slowly inching it along the side of her body towards her breast. She lifted her self slightly, allowing me to gently feel her tit.