Finding My Way Home Ch. 02

"Nice!" She exclaimed and she kissed the tip lightly.

I groaned. "Careful. When it's been a while, it's like a grenade. It has a short fuse and may go off in your hand."

She smiled at my bad Army humor and stood up. She pushed me back toward the bed. "You've got the bad shoulder. Just lie down and let Lily take care of you."

I was more than willing to do that.

I lay back and scooted up toward the head of the bed so that I was completely on the mattress. Lily climbed up over me and held my dick. "I'm sorry, Jon, but I'm wet and excited and can't wait any longer. No more foreplay, okay?"

I smiled. "No problem for me!"

She giggled and centered herself over my crotch. She took my dick and rubbed the head in her pussy, getting it wet and ready for penetration. She then settled slightly over it and started slowly lowering herself down. She was tight and I was going to have to work to contain my 'excitement'. I took in her beauty as she worked me completely into her. She had a small waist, those wonderful alabaster breasts, and very well shaped hips. She was in better shape than when she was in high school. She had her head forward so that her hair dangled in front of her face as she concentrated on getting me wet and buried into her core.

She got settled completely over my lap and sighed. "Oh, fuck, Jon that feels wonderful." She threw her hair back with a flick of her head and stared at me. She started moving her hips back and forth and grinding her clit on my pubic bone. I grabbed her hip with my good hand and started thrusting a little, helping her grind it out. She was already moaning. "Just like that. Oh, that's good."

I took my good right hand and put in on her pubic mound. I moved my thumb down onto her clit and helped her with her immediate stimulation problem. She groaned. She started thrusting harder and I suddenly didn't need to cum, but just watched as she enjoyed herself and my stimulation of her clit. It felt wonderful to see her there on my dick, her nice tits bouncing, her nipples extended and desiring attention. Her entire body was pale and slightly freckled anywhere she got sun. God, I wanted her to stay there forever.

It was only a couple of minutes before she suddenly erupted into orgasm. She just groaned and doubled over, curving her body towards me as she jerked and moaned and trembled with her 'la petite mort' or 'little death' as the French idiom for an orgasm goes. She finally relaxed and fell forward onto my chest.

"Oh, Jon, I really needed that."

I smiled and thrust my hips a little. "I could tell."

She lifted her head and grinned at me. "You ready now soldier boy?"

"Absolutely!"

She then started moving her hips back and forth and rising up and down a little. She leaned over and whispered to me to entice me to orgasm quickly. "I love the feel of your big, hard dick in my nice, tight pussy. I want to cum again, but I really want to feel you cum in me. Please fuck me and fill me full of cum."

Of course, that did it. I suddenly tensed, shoved my hips up to bury my dick in her as much as possible, and groaned. I held myself there, making little jerks against her as I filled her with 9 years of desire and 15 months worth of sexual frustration, all contained in a large load of cum.

When I finally fell back to the bed, she sat there on top of me. "I think you liked that."

I looked up at her, still trying to catch my breath. "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"It was that look of pure unadulterated bliss and focus when you came. You had your eyes closed, concentrating on your orgasm, your mouth slightly open, with your entire body tensed up. You looked to be enjoying yourself so much at that moment."

"Mmmm. Thanks. I was."

She rolled off me and made her way to the bathroom naked, still staggering a little from the alcohol. I watched her beautiful form as she was backlit by the bathroom light. She cleaned up and then climbed back into bed with me. "Can I stay here tonight?"

I looked at her and whispered. "And the next, and the next, and the next."

She suddenly looked serious. "We'll see."

It appeared to be a mistake to say that, but I didn't try to cover it up. The moment was past and there was nothing I could do about it. I think we were both asleep in 10 minutes.

Chapter 9. What did you say?

18 October 2009

I woke the next morning at 7:30 and Lily was still there. I watched her face as she slept. It was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. There was something slumbering inside of me from when I knew her in high school that she had awakened. I wanted her now and forever and it scared me. We had only just met again and I was thinking about things I hadn't considered before. I had never felt this way before and my training required me to be circumspect and try to figure out why. It couldn't be just the sex. I had had longer physical relationships with other women and they didn't give me this feeling. There was just something about Lily. Were we meant to be together? Was it fate? Was it my desire to help out someone I had cared about? I had said that she wasn't a 'project', but was that true? My ruminations were interrupted by her waking and slowly opening her eyes to look at me. I was in for a surprise.

She stared at me for a second and then muttered words that you don't want to come out of the mouth of your previous night's lover. "Oh, shit!"

I continued to stare at her. "What?"

She sat up and covered her breasts with her arm. "Damn it!" She hesitated for a second and said it again. "Damn it!" She stood and grabbed her clothes and started getting dressed. "This was a mistake. I should never have come here."

I sat up, too. "What are you talking about? Last night was wonderful."

She stopped getting dressed, standing there now in her bra and panties. "Look, we both just needed to get laid last night. I drank a little too much and got carried away. It was fun, but it was just sex – it was just a friends-with-benefits booty call. Let's not get carried away with this." She started putting on her jeans.

I was flabbergasted that she would act like this. "Lily, just stop for a second." She continued to get dressed. I got out of the bed and moved toward her.

She looked at my nude form. "Stop! We made a mistake last night and we both just need to admit it and move on. We cannot be together."

I stood there, feeling more naked than ever. "You can't really believe that."

She was pulling her shirt over her head. "I do. Absolutely, I do." She finished dressing and headed toward the door.

"Lily, wait." I reached out for her arm, but she pulled it back forcefully and glared at me. I pulled my hand back, feeling like she was going to bite it.

Lily was out of my room and to the front door by the time I had my robe over my shoulders and closed enough not to run naked thru the house. "Lily! Wait!"

She didn't even turn around, just kept on marching out to her car. She got in and drove away.

I turned around, completely confused, to see my mother standing in the kitchen doorway with a cup of coffee in her hand.

She looked at me and frowned. "Interesting."

"What?"

"Was that a lover's quarrel?"

I fidgeted. "I don't know what that was. She came over last night and spent the night. She was a little drunk, but I didn't think she would wake up and look at me like I was a leper."

"What did she say?"

I went over it with my mom and tried to recapture Lily's words.

My mother watched me carefully. "I think you are rocking her boat, upsetting her life. She thought she had everything worked out and you are just making it difficult for her to stay on path. At least that's my initial thought... but I could be wrong. She could just be a psycho bitch." She gave me her mother's knowing grin at her attempt to be funny and turned and went back into the kitchen.

I watched her leave and retreated to my room to get dressed. Fuck! One of the most amazing women I had ever met and had always wanted had finally had sex with me! And then she acted like I had the plague and bolted from the room and my house. What the fuck? I had to find out more about what was going on in her head.

I quickly showered, shaved, and dressed for my trip to her house or café, wherever she was. I called her cell phone and it went to voice mail. I called her home and got no answer. I finally called the café and found out that she was there.

I drove to the café fast. When I walked in, I was waylaid by Cindy.

"Whoa!" She pulled me over to the side of the entrance. "What the hell happened between you two? She's very upset right now."

"I wish I knew. She came over and threw herself at me last night while she was drunk and then this morning acted like I was a fate worse than death."

Cindy stared at me. "She threw herself at you? This morning? She spent the night and you two had sex?"

I looked at her sheepishly, realizing that I had let that out of the bag. "Uh... yeah."

"That's interesting. Had she been drinking?"

I started at Cindy. "Yes, she had been."

Cindy shook her head. "Look, Lily doesn't drink much. When she does, all social graces and her ability to reason seem to disappear. Hell, I don't think she knows anything that she's doing. I've seen her tell people exactly what she thinks about them when it's absolutely the most awful thing you could ever say. Something happens to her and she forgets all about societal norms. She just acts on impulse and seems to not know what she's doing. Alcohol is bad for her."

I stared at Cindy. "Societal norms?"

She smiled a little. "Sorry, former psychology major."

"So she just does whatever she wants, mores and morals be damned?"

"That's what I've always seen. It's kind of strange because she doesn't have to look drunk, but I think if you measured her BAT it would be well over the limit. It takes a while for her to get that way." She looked over her shoulder. "You sure you want to have this out in her place of business?"

I looked around. "You're probably right. What time is she supposed to be leaving today?"

"10pm. She'll be leaving then and picking up Lauren at her mother's."

"Okay, thanks." I started to turn and go and so did Cindy. I turned back and grabbed her arm. "Cindy." She turned back toward me. "Thank you. You are a good person and a good friend to her."

She smiled. "You bet your ass!"

I left and went home to wait out the day. I did call and leave a voice mail on her home answering machine and cell phone. I watched a little college football and then, as it got close to 10pm, I headed over to her house.

I arrived at her house at 9:45 and parked down the street. I waited, very impatiently, as the clock ground around to 10:20. That was when she finally pulled into her driveway. I waited until they got out of the car and went to the front door before I started my car and pulled up in front. By then, Lily and Lauren were inside. I got out and walked to the door. I rang the doorbell, ready for almost anything.

The door opened slowly and I saw the very sad face of a beautiful woman. Lily looked devastated. "Hello, Jon." She opened the door all the way.

"Hi, Lily. May I come in?"

She stood back to the side and waved with her hand, indicating that I could enter. I walked in and went straight to the couch and sat down.

"Lily, we need to talk."

She had walked over and sat on the other end of the couch. "I know." She hung her head.

"Tell me what's going on. Tell me why the fact that we had sex was such a terrible thing."

She looked over her shoulder. "Just a moment." She stood and went into the back of the house. Oh! I had forgotten about Lauren. She came back a few minutes later with Lauren, who was dressed in a Pooh t-shirt, wearing large bunny slippers.

"Lauren, say good night to Mr. Kenton."

Lauren looked at me with a little smile and her blue eyes smiled as well. "Good night, Mr. Kenton."

Lily kissed her on the head and stroked her hair. "Go get in bed and I'll come back in a moment to say good night."

"Okay, mommy." Lauren turned to go, but suddenly pivoted and ran over to me. She threw herself into me for a big hug, causing just a little flinch of pain in my bad shoulder. "Thank you, Mr. Kenton."

After we finished the hug she leaned back and I looked into those amazing Johnson blue eyes. "For what, honey?"

"For saving my mommy." She smiled and then ran back to her bedroom, leaving Lily and I there looking at each other.

"Be right back." Lily left the room and went to attend to her daughter.

When left alone with my thoughts, I considered for the umpteenth time that day what I was going to say. I knew it would all change as soon as we started talking, but I wanted to be ready.

Lily came back into the room. "She's down and will be asleep soon. We should be able to talk now." She sat down on the other end of the couch, up against the arm, and turned toward me. She grabbed a pillow and held it up against her front like it was armor and pulled her legs up. She finally looked up at me. Her gaze seemed to be challenging me. She seemed to be looking at me with a "so what do you want" gaze.

I decided to launch into what I had planned to say. "Lily, I have wanted you since I first met you. You were and are the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I'm not saying I'm in love with you, but I want to know you, I want to find out who you are, I want to at least give us a chance to get to know each other before we decide we can't be together. Let's just go back to going slow and see what happens."

Lily watched me closely. I could see the wheels turning in her head. Then a sad and morose look passed over her face. "Sorry, Jon. We can't be together. My life is set as it is now. I have everything planned. I will own the café outright in 3 years and Lauren and I will be comfortable and set. I will not let anything get in the way of her having a good childhood and growing up right. Any kind of relationship I have will just get in the way and I've made my share of mistakes in that area. I have to concentrate on her, not on keeping a relationship up with a man, having to worry about his needs, how he interacts with my daughter, as well as everything else that comes with that. On top of that, I can't put you between us and Buck's family. We just cannot be together. And I would appreciate it if you would stop coming around and trying to worm your way into my life."

When she finally stopped I was speechless. I couldn't believe what I just heard. "So that's it then. I'm supposed to just walk away."

She looked down at her hands and I noticed that she was wringing them, and then up at me. "Do whatever you want. I don't care."

"You can't be serious. Lily..." I started to go on.

"Just respect my wishes and leave... please."

I didn't know what to say to that. A very uneasy silence followed where I stared at her and she looked at her hands. Finally, I stood up. "I think you are making a mistake. If not me, then at some point you will want... no, need, an adult relationship with a man. You are still a beautiful, living, breathing woman. You can't just give up on life. I know that I won't." I moved toward the door. "I'll see myself out, thank you."

I moved to the door and turned to look at her. She looked so sad sitting there staring at her hands. I stared at her for about 15 seconds, daring her to look up at me, but she refused. Finally, I opened the door and stepped out. I closed it behind me, wondering why this damaged woman intrigued me so much. Why did I want this one? Fuck, life sucked right now.