Finding Myself

This story deals with themes of coercion and reluctance in a lesbian setting. If you think that you might be offended please try a different story.

Chapter 1

On the flight over from Ireland I had visualized this moment; a hot sultry afternoon watching from the bleachers as the girls practised. It was part of the fantasy that I had fashioned, a typical slice of Americana, but it had metamorphosed into a nightmare.

In my head I envisioned myself marking test papers, casting the occasional maternal glance towards my charges; instead, I was desperately trying to loosen the webbing belts that held me fast along the length of the bench.

It had happened so quickly. At one moment the girls were unpacking their equipment and then, without a word, they had launched themselves at me. At first I treated it as horseplay but when I took a stronger tone and they still refused to desist I began to panic.

My struggles availed me nothing. I was no match for six, athletic, eighteen year olds and, within seconds, I was pushed down onto my stomach as they wound the packaging straps around my body.

As always Chloe was the ring leader but she ignored my entreaties as she slowly circled me and cinched the straps tighter still.

I tried to remain calm. The main campus buildings were just a quarter of a mile away and, in extremis, I was prepared to yell for assistance.

Chloe seemed to follow my train of thought as she paused to look across the field and then, to my total astonishment, she reached beneath her abbreviated skirt and slipped out of her panties.

I was so naïve that I could never have contemplated what happened next. With a cruel smile she bent over me and viciously pinched my nose. The pain brought tears to my eyes and caused me to yelp but my cry was immediately stifled as she pushed the bunched cotton deep into my mouth.

For a second or two I was shocked numb, after all I was a teacher and she a pupil, and in that time she slipped the sweat band from her wrist and forced it over my head so that it acted as a gag.

I was apoplectic but they simply laughed as I struggled against my bindings and tried to scream. The trouble was that the more I did so the damper the panties became and my mouth was filled with an acrid tang.

I tried desperately to spit them out but it was an impossible challenge and I made myself calm down to see what would happen next. I suspected that, having humiliated me, they would let me go and so I was surprised when they ambled across the field and began to practise.

The college had an official cheerleading squad but Chloe and her friends were disbarred from trying out and so, in an act of open rebellion, they had formed their own.

The outfits they had designed for themselves were outrageously skimpy and their routines bordered on the obscene but they were not breaking any rules. They made no attempt to disrupt the official squad on match days but they must have enjoyed hearing the predominantly male crowds shouting out for "Chloe's Kittens".

As I lay ignored, growing increasing hot in the glare of the sun, I cast my eyes around for someone to help but most of the faculty was upstate watching the semi-final that was being contested that afternoon.

I had little choice other than to bide my time and watch as the girls went through their paces. In so doing it was hard to escape the conclusion that if they could only harness a fraction of the discipline that they displayed on the field and applied it to their studies they would not be failing as consistently as they were now.

The sun passed its zenith suggesting that more than an hour had elapsed before they practised their pièce de résistance. It was a perfectly formed human pyramid with Chloe at its summit but, as the others looked up to check her balance, I was reminded that she was naked beneath her skirt.

I felt an immediate revulsion and almost gagged on the sodden mass that filled my mouth. It might have seemed an admission of defeat but I was determined that I was going to see Chloe expelled for this stunt.

With a loud cheer they finished up and walked back towards me as if nothing untoward was going on. They were all perspiring and drinking bottled water making me conscious of my own thirst.

They gathered around me in a loose pack and then Chloe appeared in my line of sight. The temptation to yell at her was strong but I knew that they would only laugh at my muted protest. Instead, I tried to maintain a steely composure letting them know that they had picked on the wrong woman.

Chloe seemed unfazed and shocked me when she stepped astride of the bench to which I was bound. With studied deliberation she sat down allowing her skirt to brush my face.

My heart began to pound with the knowledge that I was scant inches away from her sex separated only by a barrier of thin red cotton. I told myself not to be stupid. Whatever else this was about there was no sexual motive. Chloe knew, as did the others, that I was engaged to be married.

"Are you thirsty?"

I did not dignify her question with the obvious answer and simply scowled.

She chuckled quietly and then my heart stopped.

Her skirt had a velcro fastening and, with a loud rasp, she slowly pulled it undone and let it fall apart. I almost tore my neck muscles as I whipped my head away but not before I had caught a glimpse of her exposed sex.

Now, fired with indignation, I did begin to shout but, as I feared, they just laughed. Within seconds the strain of holding my head to one side began to tell and I had no option but to face front. As I did so Chloe tipped her bottle so that a trickle of water ran over her sex and spattered my face.

I closed my eyes and held myself rigid but she got my attention by pinching my cheeks between her thumb and fingers. She spoke quietly but loud enough for everyone to hear.

"You're going to lick me...just a little...then I'll let you go."

I could not believe what I had heard and must have had a look of stupefaction on my face as she took hold of the sweat band and tugged it back over my head. As soon as I was able I spat out the wadded cotton.

"Chloe, you'll be expelled for this; don't make me involve the police as well."

She made no reply other than to press her fingers against her sex revealing the inner lips.

I knew, then, that this was no joke. I began to yell for help but she quickly snapped the sweat band back into place. It slipped between my teeth, cutting cruelly into the sides of my mouth, and my shouts were immediately muted and rendered incoherent.

"Okay ladies, you know what to do. Two each for now and then I'll ask her again."

The others were in the periphery of my vision and I craned my neck to see what was going on. The field boundary was demarked by a series of whippy plastic poles surmounted with triangular flags bearing the school crest.

As I watched they pulled the poles from the ground and discarded the pennants. Coming back towards me they whipped them gleefully through the air and I felt my blood run cold.

I could still not bring myself to believe it as they began to discuss who would go first and I struggled angrily against my restraints.

There was a momentary hush, and I breathed a sigh of relief thinking that the joke was finally over, but then I was given a split second to register a terrifying whooping sound.

I felt the sharp cut across my buttocks and my brain seemed to work in slow motion. Disbelief gave way to a hideous realization and in the next instant the screaming agony made itself felt.

It was like no other pain I had ever endured. It had both the winding effect of a heavy punch and the sudden intensity of an accidental burn. It drew from me an unearthly wail but it was lost in a cacophony of cheers.

A second stroke landed, no less vicious than the first, and I was convinced that I had been cleaved in two.

"Beat that."

It may have been Jennifer who had spoken but I could not be sure. I was only dimly aware as the girls changed positions and then came another excited shout.

"My turn!"

There was no mistaking Janisa. She was the oldest of the group with a body to die for but this was at odds with her angelic face which enabled her to pass herself off as some years younger. I knew that she used this to her advantage in her dealings with the authorities but, despite her seeming innocence, she was just as bad as the rest of the group.

I jerked reflexively as she whooped her pole experimentally through the air eliciting more laughter.

"Okay, watch this."

For all her Puerto Rican curves she could not have weighed much over a hundred pounds but the pain as she laid on the third stroke was greater than ever. At that point I cried like a baby and, but for the gag, I would have begged.

The fourth stroke fell quickly but clearly not to her satisfaction. She swore crudely and must have prepared to try again because Chloe intervened.

"Two each, let the twins take their turn."

This was the cruelest blow of all. In my short acquaintance with the girls I had pinned my hopes on the twins. I felt certain that, at heart, they were decent young people who were suffering under Chloe's malign influence.

The reason for Chloe bringing them into her circle was obvious. The identical blondes were stunningly attractive and wherever they went on campus males fantasized and salivated. To the best of my knowledge they did not have regular boyfriends and they made a good show of not noticing the lustful devastation that they left in their wake.

Tears blurred my vision but I could see enough. As one, they shook out their long, straight, hair and rolled their shoulders as they took up station on either side of me. It was so well choreographed that I was left in no doubt that they had done it before.

There was no preamble, no taunting, they simply laid into me with swift alternate strokes.

I thought the pain would drive me insane. It enveloped my whole body, ebbing and flowing but never entirely receding.

At that moment I would have done anything to spare myself further punishment. With the last of my strength I raised my head to look up at Chloe but it was only to be met with a look of lustful triumph.

She knew, as I did, that I would do as she wanted but there was to be no mercy.

"Just two more...You can take that can't you?"

Her mocking tone brought fresh tears to my eyes and I knew that I would have to endure.

Meryl had waited until last. Where the others might be considered conventionally attractive the tall Jamaican girl had a different kind of beauty. She was a gifted tennis player and the school had been keen to foster her talent but she had eschewed their support and had, instead, taken to body building.

For now her body was perfectly honed but she still retained an essential femininity; however, there were already indications that she intended to push it further. She was rarely seen without a protein drink in her hand and she had already taken part in her first official contest.

She was out of my sight but I literally shook with fear as I visualized her well muscled arm raising the pole aloft.

Long seconds passed and the girl's laughter faded as they too waited to see what she could do. For a brief moment there was silence, leaving only innocent birdsong, and then the deadly cutting of the air.

For the blink of an eye I was transported to a place of darkness, and I wanted to remain there, but I was instantly dragged back to experience a pain beyond my imagination.

Even the sound of the stroke was lost to me as molten agony flushed over my body. I thought that I would pass out, and would have welcomed it, but I remained aware.

The white noise in my ears slowly resolved itself and I could once again hear the girls screaming and clapping. A dark shape eclipsed the sum momentarily as Meryl moved to the other side of me.

I am not a devout person but I found myself trying to whisper a prayer. Surely they had had enough but as silence fell once more I knew it was a forlorn hope.

This time I did shut down. I felt the stroke, as distinctly as the others, but the pain was experienced differently. It was still agonizing but it was as if I was in some way disembodied.

In an unconscious desire to curl myself up I became acutely aware of my breasts and my sex pressed flat to the bench. For a brief moment the pain was dimmed and I felt an unexpected and unwelcome sexual charge.

Without thinking I found myself looking between Chloe's legs and it was then that she removed my makeshift gag.

I resisted the immediate urge to hurl a stream of invective and tried to work some life into my tortured jaw.

"She looks eager..."

The others laughed at Chloe's deliberate misinterpretation but she eased forward until her sex was almost touching my lips.

"...so are you?...eager?...are you ready to lick me?"

I could not help myself. The words sprang from me almost unbidden.

"Go to hell!"

Completely unfazed she ran her fingers through my hair.

"You remind me of the singer...in that Irish band..." She paused for a moment as she struggled for the name. "...The Corrs...that's the one."

"Wouldn't it be something to have that girl go down on you? But still, I have the next best thing...a little colleen all of my own."

I turned away from her in revulsion but she continued in the same easy manner.

"Okay girls, five more...each, and take your time, we have all afternoon."

"NO!"

As I screamed I jerked violently against my restraints but it was futile and simply encouraged a fresh burst of laughter. I knew that I could not take any more. It was not just the pain but the fear that some permanent damage might be done.

"Alright...I'll do it."

"Good girl, I knew that you'd see it my way."

I was eight years her senior and her studied condescension got under my skin as she knew it would.

The others gathered a little more closely to witness my humiliation but Chloe remained still. Wondering what was expected I lay looking at her sex and could not help making comparisons with my own.

Where I retained a neat growth she had a smoothness that suggested professional attention. It also made her mound seem more pronounced but her labia were neater than my own. The delicate pink fringes were barely on show but gave the impression that they could bloom into life at any moment.

I realized, with a shock, that I was finding it aesthetically beautiful. I had never, in the past, been in the position to make a judgment, nor would I have wanted to be, and it was disturbing.

I looked up at Chloe to find her smiling down at me as though my every thought was transparent to her. I quickly averted my eyes but she pressed her advantage.

With a single finger she teased her labia and, at the same time, brushed the tip of my nose making me instantly aware of her scent which, so close to, had an almost cloying richness.

I immediately began to breathe through my mouth but a buried instinct, perhaps a need to sniff for danger, made me draw another shallow draught into my nose.

The smell was one with which I was familiar from my own fingers and some subliminal connection was made. I felt my own sex stirring, anesthetizing the pain that still racked my body.

I accepted the relief but, at the same time, I was fearful. I had never been involved with another woman, nor had I entertained the prospect, but here I was taking comfort from an unsolicited proximity.

I tried to pull myself together. I was being forced against my will and I had no choice but to get it over with. My thoughts now moved beyond expulsion to a charge of assault. They were all complicit and they were not going to get away with it.

"I'm waiting..."

To compound my humiliation she had eased away just a little making it absolutely clear that I was to was to come to her.

I lifted my head but still found it hard to overcome my reluctance. It took an effort of will to put out my tongue and close the gap between us.

My first touch was tentative and unsure but it was enough to convey a surprisingly tart taste. I withdrew instantly and washed my tongue in my mouth. As a teenager I had licked my own fingers, just once, out of curiosity and it was nothing like this.

"Don't like the taste? Well that's just too bad...now lick me properly."

Behind me someone slapped my backside playfully but it was enough to reignite the pain and to remind me of the consequences of refusal.

I screwed my eyes and licked more boldly along the whole length of her sex. Again the taste was sharp but, as I made myself do it once more, there was a hint of something less objectionable.

At that point I was going to stop, I had submitted and done as she wanted, but for reasons I found hard to explain to myself I made another pass. Perhaps, because I knew that I would never do this again, I wanted to imprint the experience.

This time I firmed my tongue a little and traced a path between her labia. They yielded gently and, at the same time, my tongue was assailed by a seemingly sweeter taste. It excited the whole surface and I licked again before finally managing to pull myself together.

"I think she's getting to like it."

Chloe was still mocking me but there was something else in her tone, a faintest suggestion of puzzlement.

The girls cheered in a manner that made me think my ordeal might be over but I sensed an uncertainty. A new hush fell over them as Chloe slid forward just a little and, at the same time she brought her knees closer together.

I was caught between her smooth thighs which served to shut out the others and her sex was pressed to my mouth. She clearly wanted more and then, I think, I understood.

The whole thing had been an exercise in humiliation; they were impressing upon me just how little my authority meant to them. The physical manifestation was the beating they had inflicted; the licking was little more than a ritual submission.

The problem was that Chloe had enjoyed it more than she had meant to. They had clearly done this before, perhaps taking it in turns to be ministered to, but none of them wanted to be thought of as a lesbian. These girls spent their lives working on how to ensnare the pick of the school studs.

In a perverse manner I now had an opportunity to try and embarrass her. I slowly opened my mouth over her sex and began to lick gently.

Still immobile I become totally focused on her and there was an odd comfort to be taken from the enclosure of her thighs. The others were still present but they were forgotten as I began a hesitant exploration.

I wanted to get a visible reaction from her and to begin with I picked up where I had left off and licked gently at her labia. She was already much wetter and her taste had a fresh intensity.

I carried on for my moment or two keeping my head very still and simply using my tongue. I could feel the tension in her as she came to terms with her own internal conflict. On the one hand she wanted to reassert her dominance and play to the gallery but, on the other, I was sure that I was getting to her and she wanted to know how far it could go.

Her body flinched and I assumed that she was readying herself to pull away and so, to forestall her, I braced my tongue and broached the portal. There was a slight resistance but then I entered with startling ease.

I found it hard to order my impressions. There was heat, moisture, taste and smell but most of all there was an incredible silkiness and a gentle but insistent pressure. It was as if she was moulded around me, as if we were intended for one another.

I flexed my tongue and felt her swell slightly to accommodate me inviting me deeper still. I stretched to new limits until my nose was drawn into the warm wetness and I found it difficult to breathe.