tagBDSMFinding Myself at USF Ch. 3

Finding Myself at USF Ch. 3


Yvette pulled a long sip from her drink, emptying it, to sooth her parched lips. Had she really cum just from His picture looking at her? I looked down at the email and poetry still lying on the table and decided to look his information up for myself. I hoped it wouldn't be considered a conflict of our friendship -- nah, of course not... it wasn't like I was going to offer myself up to him, I just wanted to check out who this mystery man was and see the picture for myself. Yvette continued speaking...

"The next day I slept in and almost missed my final exam... I could still feel His warmth against me, and I felt so safe, loved, so protected. When I awoke, it was so strange to realize it had been but a dream, and of someone I had never met at that. I quickly showered and ran off to take my finals.

"When I got back, I settled down, and thought about everything. My original plans had been to go home for the summer, as you know..."

I confirmed her statement... "yes, Yvette, I was hoping to see you there."

"Well, I decided that I would dedicate my summer to finding out more about Him, to seeing if He was what I imagined He was, what He appeared to be. After all, stumbling across someone that seemed so... special and different and right -- stumbling across perhaps my Mr. Right deserved some effort, right? I also figured as long as I was staying, I could take a class or two and fulfill that stupid USF rule that requires you have to do at least one summer semester in order to graduate, even if you meet all the other requirements. I called home and told mom that I had to take a course that wasn't being offered except during summer 'c' and that I wouldn't be able to make it home, except perhaps for a week between summer and fall. She seemed heartbroken, but as always, just reassured me that she had faith in me. God, I felt so guilty there for a few minutes -- it almost caused me to change my mind.

"But it didn't, as you know Carolina. I looked at His picture again and reread the words and I knew I wasn't going anywhere. I logged into Oasis and immediately selected two no-brainers, or at least I thought they were no-brainers when I signed up for them -- Tai Chi and Scuba, both in Summer 'A'. If I was staying here and taking classes, I was at least going to take ones that I would enjoy. Anyway, that left me ten days before my next classes started and I planned on using them. And I knew that my classes would all be over by the end of end of June, so I would have another five weeks afterwards to also dedicate to my... quest. Funny, I never thought of it that way before -- His quest, my quest. I was even considering finding Derrick again and seeing if I could get at his roommate's computer some more..."

Yvette shrugged and smiled simultaneously as if to say 'why not?'. The waitress was passing by and Yvette asked for a soda, and asked if I wanted a refill. I accepted graciously, but insisted that I be allowed to pay for this round.

The waitress tsk'd tsk'd at me and smiled, responding "we'll have none of that here from you."

I was dumb-struck. I was taken back to my curiosities about what was going on, but was still unable to figure it out. I was about to ask why I couldn't pay, but the waitress had already walked away. I turned back to Yvette with a weak smile and obvious confusion in my eyes.

Yvette simply ignored it and went on telling her tale.

"You see, Carolina, you simply can't pay the bill here today. Now hush down and enjoy that fact. If you're still hungry, order anything you want. Meanwhile, back at the ranch... I filed all the homework and class notes into my filing cabinet, and collected some clothes to do laundry. I called Derrick and asked him if I could use his washer and dryer, as mine was -- and I fabricated every word of this -- broken. He seemed pleased, thinking that it was an excuse for me to climb back into bed with him, and immediately said 'sure, I have some stuff to do now, how's tonight at seven?' Then I also told him that I was seeing someone now, and that it was very unlikely that we would get back together for another roll in the hay until I was single again, but could I come over and do the laundry now? His ego somewhat deflated, he said yes, if I hurried, he would let me in and I could do my laundry while he was out. Jackpot!

"I grabbed the dirty clothes hamper, which was overflowing with clothes because I didn't take the time to do them while I was studying for my finals, and drove over there. When I got there, he was sitting on his porch, tying his shoes. I felt kind of sorry for him and gave him a hug and told him what a sweetie he was and that I really appreciated it -- well, I did, but not for the obvious reasons -- and that maybe if I became single again, he would honor me with his body again. His smile threatened to crack his face. He couldn't speak properly, being so tongue-tied, and then got some control over himself and blurted out 'bye, I'll be back around 6:45. If you leave before then, just lock the door behind you.' His smile refused to dissipate.

"I started a load of laundry, and went in and turned on his roommate's computer. Where before I had accidentally logged in as Andreas, this time I did it knowingly and immediately got a message that someone was already logged into this AOL account. I was downtrodden at the prospect. Then I remembered Andreas complaining about the per-minute rates he had to pay to log-in from home and realized that he probably wouldn't stay on for very long. I jotted down his screen names from the sign-on screen and then logged into my own account and added them to a new buddy list. That way I could tell as soon as he was logged out... Oh, I felt so sly and devilish.

"The minutes churned by and I IM'd you when I saw you pop in. I had opened His profile and web page again, almost as if thinking that it wouldn't be there any more, having been just a dream. What if He left for the summer? Shit, then my entire plan would be moot. As it sunk in, I felt myself wanting to sob, feeling like an idiot. You and I IM'd for quite some time, and then when I saw Andreas log out of his account, I immediately told you that I had to go -- well, it was true, kinda."

Yvette studied my face to see if I was mad, but I was so engrossed in her story that it didn't really register that maybe I should be mad. Anyway, we were best buds.

"Yvette, I understand about curiosity about Him, and it's not a big deal that you said you had to go... I'm just as curious now as you were then. Tell me, did you meet him -- are you two dating, or is He still available?"

I suddenly was overwhelmed with the thought that He might not have found what He was looking for in her and that's why she turned Lesbo... Not that I knew she had, but that's what I was thinking. My mind was trying to fit the little pieces together to form a bigger picture.

"Carolina, are you thinking of giving yourself to Him already? You little slut..."

She smiled at me in a way that told me it was ok to think this way, and we both started laughing again. The waitress brought over the drinks, and set them down without saying a word, then left. I was kind of curious as to why Yvette has switched to soda.

"You know me, Yvette, just a slut and tramp and a hussy... well, not yet, but I can have daydreams, right?"

We both laughed even harder because she knew that I had (except for a couple parties in my sophomore year in high school) only been with my boyfriend (ex-boyfriend) up to now. I could hardly be called a slut. Perhaps a timid non-virgin.

I continued, "why the switch to soda? Loosing your ability to hold your liquor as you get older?"

"Carolina, I should slap you for that remark. I have to drive later and I want to be clear-headed then. Anyway, I hold my liquor just like any other French girl -- by the ears..." She smiled.

It took me a second to get it, but then I gagged on my drink as I started laughing too hard. It seems that I'm always setting up the jokes and she's always hitting me with the punch lines... I patted my shirt down with paper napkins from the dispenser and felt dumb for wetting it. She continued onward.

"So I logged back in as Andreas and immediately noticed that he had no mail -- I was mad at him for not leaving it for me to read, to devour. I sat there and pouted for 30 seconds or so, and then realized that there was probably a copy of it under the old mail tab. I clicked, and ta-da, there it was -- and not just what M had written today, but a week's worth going back. I was like a starving Ethiopian in a candy factory.

"I forwarded each one of them to my account, lest Derrick come back unexpectedly early, and then heard the buzzer on the washer go off as the load finished. I padded out and threw the clothes in the dryer and started another load -- just to give me an excuse and more time. Then I sat down again and started to read."

She turned over the other page that had been lying face down on the table for so long. I had been dying to reach out and grab it and read it the whole time, but hadn't, knowing this was all part of her tale. Obviously Yvette wouldn't have taken it out if she didn't want me to read it before we left, so I had waited.


Loins, rising and falling,
as lust consumes all,
the feel of your mouth,
the places your hair cares to fall.
The touch of your skin to Mine,
could anything else be so fine?
I taste your neck, at the nape,
ready to My clothing foresake,
as my hands reach for your breasts,
and our breathing gives to shortness of breath.
Your eyes closed,
your teeth biting the sheets,
as I slowly kiss my way up,
starting at your feet...
I feel the wamrth of your skin,
so fine and so soft,
as we feel our yearning,
bearing us aloft...
Closing My eyes,
I touch My lips to your heat,
shuttering, moaning,
you dare not retreat,
as the intensity mounts.
It feels so good...
I taste you softly,
licking your hood.
Rising to the occassion,
my mouth proceeds to crawl,
coming up your body,
you realize that's not all...
Softly, I push myself into you,
as you have so preciously asked Me to do,
and take you in my arms.
In the back of our heads ring alarms,
as the primordial beast takes control,
and exacts from our bodies it's precious toll.
Flexing, gasping, clawing for grip,
biting, touching, you begin to slip --
over that edge of reality; such sensations,
felling the heat radiating from our minstrations.
And then the shuddering passes through both of us,
having fed the carnal beast, consumed with lust.
Afterwards, we lay quietly and kiss,
having conceived this, perfect bliss.
Holding each other, against the on-coming night...
For a change, because we're together, everything is all right.
And on the wind's gentle breeze,
you hear, with weak and bent knees,
the words come wafting... "I love you,"
and you know deep down, that I do...
Holding each other so gently, we fall into a deep sleep,
and occasionally, I awake,
to take but a peek,
of the precious love that I value,
oft more than life itself,
for her love has made Me,
weathier than weath
of diamond or gold or money could every buy,
for she is mine, and I am her guy...
We belong together,
as a pair,
and each of Us longs,
when the other's not there...
When she walked into my life,
I had thought I had forgotten how to give in,
to the emotions that leave Us so vulnerable...
Is she out there waiting for Me?
=-= The CyberPoet

The poem had taken me, raped me, used me, left me wet and craving and incredibly horny. I was squirming in my seat, trying to rub myself unobtrusively against my heal, which I had tucked under myself. I had felt His words wrap around me, and His tongue and mouth on my body. I suddenly knew without a doubt that I would give myself to this man if He would have me -- and I tried to pretend that of course, that only applies if Yvette didn't already have him permanently -- but I knew that if He wanted me, I would ignore my loyalties to Yvette and give myself to him willingly, freely. God forgive me, but I have sinned in the most wicked of ways against my sister this day.

Yvette's eyes had been watching my reactions the whole time and saw exactly what the poem had done to me. My nipples were raging against my shirt and the back of my skirt was soaked. I couldn't think straight. Almost as if calling my out of my daze, she continued...

"Carolina, oh, Karri (my nickname), are you back with me yet?"

"Uuummmm..." That was the best I could manage.

"Well, the poem left me exactly the same way. I stripped down my clothes right there and proceeded to close my eyes and imagine Him with me, and I came again the first instant I touched myself. Now I was in heat and realized that never had a man touched me like this, so deep and yet so gentle, and without ever setting his skin to mine. I craved Him so badly, as you obviously do now..."

And then she stood up and took my hand, helping me up. She looked down, then stood behind me and leaned over my ear, whispering quietly, "just walk out as best you can, and I'll be right behind you to cover up that wet spot."

She put her hands on my hips and guided me out to the car, opened the door and set me down in the passenger seat. I was still in a daze, still horny beyond belief. She looked down at me, then her eyes went wide and she quickly said, "Wait here. We forgot our purses inside. I'll go get them."

And then she was gone and I was alone and wet and troubled -- who was He? I closed my eyes and my fingers found my center and I touched myself, gone from this place, totally oblivious to the world, and came. And came. And came again. I like to tell myself that the alcohol had loosened up my inhibitions and made me forget reality. I turned my head when I heard the car door open, and Yvette slipped into the driver's seat, looking at me. Then I realized that we had an audience watching us, watching me. A couple frat boys just standing, staring at me -- they must have been there when I was touching myself. I turned as red as I have ever been, and felt the flush pass through my entire body. As I reached down to pull my skirt down to a decent, respectable position, Yvette's hand reached out to my pussy and pushed against it. I came again, startled and suddenly uncomfortable with this development. She removed her hand and I saw that she had a wad of napkins in it.

"I just wanted to save my interior and you were too far gone to do it yourself without leaking all over," she quipped.

She pulled out and suddenly we were in traffic. I was still in my daze, and I realized she was right -- I was too far gone to turn back. I had to meet Him, seek Him out, give Myself to his company, if not outright to Him.

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