Finding Myself

She wrote about a new teacher, you I assume, being assaulted by Chloe and her friends. I hate that girl, and all she represents, and I am so glad that Rachel has nothing more to do with her, but, God forgive me, reading it was an incredible turn on."

The shock must have shown on my face because she continued quickly.

"I know it's wrong but Rachel has a talent with words; her fantasy really got to me. She said that she was going to kidnap the teacher and force her to do all manner of unspeakable things. I had no idea that she was actually capable of it."

My predicament made mustering my dignity something of a challenge and I found myself at a rare loss for words so I simply waited for her to free me.

She reached for the stocking binding my wrist but then I saw her nostrils flare. After a momentary hesitation she dropped her hand to my face and gently stroked my forehead.

"I can smell her on you. It's just like she wrote it. She came on your face didn't she?"

Before I could react she brought her mouth to mine and kissed me softly. Then she pulled away and licked her lips lasciviously leaving me shocked numb.

I stared incredulously as she stood up and, without taking her eyes from mine, she began to unfasten her skirt.

Beneath it she was bare legged and she was sporting a daring thong which threw a fresh complexion on her 'night away'. She paused, allowing the tension to build, and then she slipped the flimsy material down her legs.

I knew what was to come and I knew that I should have cursed and screamed but I remained eerily quiescent.

She did not even bother to remove her shoes as she purposefully mounted the bed and slid her knees over my arms.

Rachel obviously owed her lustrous blonde hair to her mother but the tidy growth that dressed the older woman's sex was of a curiously darker hue.

As she slowly shut me in this was explained as I was enveloped in a soft, heavily scented, dampness.

The urge to resist was still strong but for all the wrong reasons. Perversely, it was not her blatant disregard for my choice in the matter that spurred me but rather an autonomic reaction to the fact that she was about to rob me of breath.

She had a nice figure but she weighed in at least two dress sizes larger than her daughter and, as she tightened her thighs about my head, it was hard to escape the impression of being buried alive.

I do not know if it was the physical application of pressure or some mild form of sadism but she was incredibly aroused. She gave a groan that I felt rather than heard and, as she moved slightly to settle more snuggly, I was smeared with moisture.

In a shocking moment of self realization I knew that I would have willingly licked her, a perverted craving to know her taste, but it was not what she wanted of me.

She linked her hands on the top of my head and slid herself forward a couple of inches bringing darkness and closing off my nose and mouth. I held what little breath I had, waiting for her to move, but she seemed intent on testing my limits,

I tried to shake my head but I was held fast and my stifled scream of anguish only made her shiver with delight. When I thought my lungs would burst her plan was made clear.

She raised herself just a few millimetres and I heaved a lungful of air but it was laden with the very essence of her. It threatened to choke me but, at the same time, it brought my body alive.

I felt my eyes widen as I drew a second tainted draught and I knew that this scent was going to be indelibly impressed upon my memory.

Having made her mark upon me she settled once more and selfishly sought out her own pleasure.

She began to rock herself on my face, a slow, deliberate, grinding as she worked her sex over the varied contours.

It was painful, and still hard to breathe, but I recognized something primal deep within me as she anointed my face with her private unguent. As she slowly gathered speed I tipped my head a little presenting my features more blatantly and she was more than happy to avail herself.

I was lost in a trance and only a suddenly more savage pressure alerted me to the onset of her orgasm. I began to fear that she might do me some physical damage but she was beyond caring.

Her hips jerked spasmodically and she held my head in a vice as waves of increasing pleasure ripped through her. Fortunately she could not maintain that level of intensity and she slumped to a sudden finish.

For a few seconds I was smothered by her hot, pulsing, sex but then, with an obvious effort, she rolled herself free of me.

As I panted for breath she unfastened the stocking at my wrist and then lounged in the whicker chair which sat in front of the dressing table. She watched as I slowly released myself and remained poised on the edge of the bed.

Only now did I appreciate just how cramped my muscles had become and my face felt raw. I rubbed some life into my limbs, rose to my feet, and looked around for my clothes.

I did not say a word to her. I wanted her to worry about where, and to whom, I was going to take this matter.

My clothes were nowhere to be found and I looked for something to cover myself with whilst I searched elsewhere but she drew my attention with a throaty chuckle.

"I'll tell you where to find them later. You're not finished yet sugar...not by a long way."

Chapter 5

The next few hours are a blur, even now.

When I was eventually allowed to shower and dress it was to come downstairs to find them sitting drinking coffee together at the kitchen table as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

I left the house with their laughter ringing in my ears and started to doubt my sanity. I desperately needed time alone to get myself back on track. I returned to Ruth's apartment to pack some things and found it still empty. It was a shock to find that her absence left me disappointed.

I took a taxi and booked a room in the hotel I had used on the first day I arrived. It was out near the airport but it was clean, functional and inexpensive.

My next step was to phone Meg Dowland and tell her that I was unwell and would not be in the next day. She sounded genuinely sympathetic when she told me to take as long as I needed.

With that settled I fixed myself a drink, crashed on the bed, and put a phone call through to Sean. It was great to hear his reassuring voice but things grew tense when I tried to pin him down to booking a flight.

He put up the same obstacles that had blighted our parting saying that it was not a good time in terms of his job. I felt this even more keenly now than I had then. He must surely have been able to hear the upset in my voice but he seemed anxious to bring proceedings to a close telling me he would call back later.

I slammed the phone down and was left with my own thoughts.

Was I a lesbian?

At any other time in my life I would have answered with an emphatic 'no'. Of course there had been times, when I saw a particularly alluring woman in a movie for instance, when I might have fleetingly wondered what it would be like, but surely that was true for every free-spirited young woman.

I had never attempted to find out and, on one occasion, I had positively turned aside an overture from an especially beautiful woman that I met at a teachers conference.

Looking at things more pragmatically I still had hopes of a home and family and surely that suggested a traditional relationship?

I suppose it could be argued that, nowadays, this need not be the case but this train of thought led me to a fresh revelation. My encounters had been devoid of any emotional engagement but there was more to it than just sex. Yes, I cannot deny that, in some perverse manner, all my senses had been brought alive but the excitement had come as much from my lack of control over the situation.

I found this both startling and frightening. I had always considered myself to be ambitious and driven, determined to succeed in a world skewed in favour of the male of the species, and there was no definitely no way that I would bow the knee to any man, but I had taken strange comfort in making myself subservient to a woman.

For much of the next day I remained ensconced in my room whilst I used my laptop to carry out some research. It seemed that many lesbian relationships were based on the dominant/submissive dynamic but I got no closer to an understanding my own condition.

That evening I ate alone in the small hotel restaurant and found myself checking out both men and women to see what effect it had on me; left none the wiser I went back to my room intent on an early night.

I finished brushing my teeth, turned out the bathroom light, and screamed.

On my bed, bold as brass, sat Meryl and the twins.

"How the hell did you get in here?"

Meryl smiled.

"The night porter. How could he resist?"

She indicated the twins with a sweep of her hand and I could see what she meant. Both girls were wearing white pelmet skirts and cropped tops that would not allow a bra. If this was not enough they were both wearing roman sandals laced up their legs setting off their immaculate tans.

On other girls the clothes might have seemed slutty but these two carried it off effortlessly.

Meryl herself sat in stark contrast. Her simple russet dress could almost have been tailored to fit her toned body and it echoed the darkness of her skin.

All this I assimilated quickly whilst still trying to figure out what was going on.

"How did you find me?"

Again, Meryl acted as spokesperson.

"We heard that you spoke to Dowland and then you didn't turn up for school today. Then we tried Ruth, Miss Cottrell, and she said you had gone away for a while."

"She said you didn't pack everything so we figured you hadn't gone far. The twins put on a show for the local taxi dispatcher and here we are."

These girls might be failing intellectually but they demonstrated a degree of cunning that had me fearful.

"So, you've gone to a lot of trouble, but why are you here?"

For a second or two she seemed unsure what to say but at a nod of approval from the twins she continued.

"What we did to you, what Chloe made us do, was wrong. We know you been trying for us and we want you back."

To say I was shocked would be an understatement.

"Meryl, you have to understand, I can't take a class with Chloe in it, not after what happened."

"You haven't heard? Dowland gave her an indefinite suspension."

I felt myself welling up. Not only had Meg given me her support but it seemed the girls had faith in me. My self-doubt concerning my abilities as a teacher seemed ill founded after all.

Seconds later the twins were standing on either side of me proffering tissues as I began to cry. All my pent up emotions poured out and they edged me towards the bed.

Now it was Meryl consoling me as I sat beside her. She was a mere teenager but I took comfort from the latent strength of her body.

She cradled my head to her chest whilst the twins cooed around us.

It felt so relaxing to be closed in. There was a sense of protection and I wanted to share the warmth of them.

My eyes began to feel heavy and I just wanted to lie down. They would leave and tomorrow would bring a fresh start.

Meryl leant over me brushing a stray hair from my forehead and I was vaguely conscious of a soft rasping sound.

The twins hovered at her side like ethereal supplicants and her dress seemed to slip away.

In my dream state I saw her breasts; twin, dark, mounds, not much larger than Rachel's, but defined by honed muscles. Her nipples were darker still, bitter chocolate and fiercely erect.

I wanted to try their taste but she remained tantalizingly out of reach. I thought that she whispered the word 'pillows' but with a wry inner smile I felt that I could have found a better description.

Again the twins flitted at the margins and then Meryl seemed to slip from me.

For a second I felt exposed but the twins put their arms around me easing me over onto my stomach.

I lay in the foothills of an obsidian mountain with high peaks either side hemming me in. I gazed upwards towards an imperious face which brooked no disobedience. She wanted me to move deeper into the valley where a dark oasis lay exposed borne up upon a white mound.

The earthy scent drew me in emanating from the twinned pink petals that bloomed beyond the outer darkness.

The temperature rose and I felt a growing thirst but moisture was at hand glistening wetly before me.

I licked greedily but the bitter sweetness did not assuage me. I opened my mouth a little wider and ventured a deeper assay.

There was more moisture here but also a greater heat and pressure. I laboured for a seemingly long while until my tongue tired and I reluctantly withdrew paying attention once more to the fringes of the opening.

"Higher."

A single, clear, command and I obeyed.

I pursed my lips and flicked my tongue across the smooth pearl that marked the apex. I was in no hurry and settled contentedly to my task until I felt a tremor of satisfaction slowly becoming a heaving quake of gratification.

I did not want the dream to end because waiting at the door was a feeling of crushing guilt.

I continued to lick up the final seeping evidence of my crime but reality was slowly imposing itself.

Meryl rose from her recumbent position leaving me alone on the bed but even as she began to dress her place was taken by the twins. They reclined side by side on the stacked pillows with their knees raised neither of them wearing panties.

In that moment I understood the anguish that men must feel in their presence. They were achingly beautiful young women who allied a studied innocence with the allure of a pole dancer.

I knew that this was the bite of the apple which would finally cast me out but I could already feel any last vestiges of resistance crumbling away.

"You're not going to let us down are you? Don't you want a taste?"

It seemed so clichéd and I wondered if they were in the habit of offering themselves as a pair. I was convinced that, what ever the arrangement, it would only ever be on their terms.

To all intents and purposes they were identical unless you were privileged to find yourself in the position I now occupied. Each had a neat triangular tuft at the crown of their sex but one was dyed the palest blue whilst the other was a soft shade of pink.

As I drew nearer, almost mesmerically attracted, I noticed another curious difference. Both girls had prominent labia, a deliciously puffy enticement, but, on one, the left hand side was more pronounced whilst on the other it was the right.

I was still racked by an inner turmoil but, even now, I was considering where to begin.

As I hesitated the decision was made for me. Pink reached down and gently peeled her sister open revealing gossamer strands which strained for an instant and then parted as if in welcome.

I fell upon her raveningly causing gales of laughter.

"God, she's keen!"

"But is she any good?"

"Oh yeah, she's a total slut."

All this I heard but, if it was intended to be hurtful, it missed the mark. I was adrift in a private nirvana. It may have been a trick of the mind but her taste was syrupy sweet, exciting my tongue and increasing my frenzy.

I was allowed my indulgence for only a few moments until I was pulled away by the hair.

"Save some for me."

Pink dragged me from between her sister's legs and set me between her own.

She pressed me unceremoniously to her sex and thrust at me.

"Lick!"

She was very wet and, for a few seconds, she seemed intent on drowning me. My mouth and nose were initially overwhelmed until she relented a little and let me do what I was proving so good at.

"Take your time, no one is going anywhere in a hurry."

With this volte-face she made herself more comfortable and looked down upon me as I found my rhythm.

Her taste was different; in essence the same but somehow more mature.

Over the next hour I was given ample opportunity to compare as they made me alternate between them.

It became a game as they each tried to judge when the other was close to coming and then I would be made to change station.

By now my tongue had swollen a little and my face muscles were cramped but I persisted. To make things easier for myself I sporadically sealed my lips and gently sucked; swallowing their copious offering brought mild relief.

My nose was nestling in blue hair when the end came. Pink tried to pull me away but blue was too far gone. She clamped me tightly with her surprisingly strong thighs and used both hands to make doubly sure that there would be no escape.

"Eat Me!"

They were the last words I heard before I was cut off from the light and enclosed. I applied my tongue, thrusting it deep within her, causing her to twist back and forth in delight but threatening my already strained neck muscles.

Her orgasm grew, slowly at first but quickly overwhelming her and I was a passenger as she rode out the ever more violent convulsions.

When it had passed she unhooked her ankles and relaxed her thighs and I was presented to the world as a bedraggled mess.

I lifted myself with an effort but there was to be no respite. My hair was grabbed again and I was pulled back down.

"Now, damn it, I need to come!"

Pink adopted a different approach to her sister. She opened her raised knees and blatantly exposed her sex. With a series of ever more urgent instructions she made me lick the whole of her mound with broad sweeps of her tongue before getting me to concentrate on her clitoris.

She was incredibly hot and her body shone with perspiration. Her deodorant was starting to lose the battle but I was amazed that I could discern the slight staleness beyond the thick fug with which her sex filled my nostrils.

The tiny bead was heavily cloaked but I worked on it with the tip of my tongue. Her increasing excitement was evidenced by a stream of expletives which she used to urge me on. When the moment came her body arched and stiffened and then, as if a valve had been released, she began to spurt.

I had heard of such things but nothing could have prepared me for the warm gouts of moisture which now anointed my face and neck. Ignoring the urge to pull away I saw it through and licked her until she had no more to give.

Amid more laughter I was handed a towel and I cleaned myself up as best I could whilst the twins got dressed.

As they left Meryl turned to me.

"I wouldn't shower just yet. Jenny and Janisa said they would swing by when they finish their shifts at the mall..."

Chapter 6

When Geraldine first suggested the American exchange program I had been skeptical. As well as my mentor she was also one of my best friends, despite the twenty year gap in our ages, but I could not shake the feeling that she had taken a dislike to Sean and saw the scheme as a way to give me some space.

My background, teaching disadvantaged children in the upper age range, made me uniquely qualified but Geraldine had cryptically remarked that the trip would help me 'find myself'.

I smiled for the first time in hours thinking 'If only she knew."

My mind was made up. There were clearly some things about myself that I needed to explore, perhaps I was even in need of some professional assistance, but not here.

There had already been too many disclosures and far too many embarrassments. I needed to get back to Ireland and start with a clean sheet; and that included Sean. I was not going to call things off altogether but I wanted some room to breathe.

The next morning I broke the news to Ruth and she tried to talk me round but I could not help but wonder if she had more selfish motives.

If I needed anymore incentive to return home it actually came in the course of that conversation. Just looking into her eyes I could feel myself weakening and she knew, as I did, that, had she wanted to, she had only to say the word.