First Bad, Then Ugly, Finally Good

'Dear husband do I have to be a porn star?'

I am Sarojini, daughter and only child of my parents. My life story is bewildering. It was quite normal till I was 18 and then it became different. Middle class society in Chennai, India where I lived is very conservative where sexes do not mix. My problem was quite simple; I was bad—I like men. All young girls do but I am open about it. I am outgoing by nature. I make friends easily and if a young man asks me to a movie if I like him I accept. I had many friends. One thing will of course lead to another and it was not long before my parents got to know of my life style. 'Saro, you have mud smeared all over you', said my mother one day, "you will not get any offers.'

Western readers may want to know who makes these offers and what for. The offer is for marriage. No, not a man proposing to a woman; it is someone telling the parents that a son or daughter of so and so is a suitable match for their daughter or son. This is step one in arranged matches. In Western countries I believe men and women decide whether they marry or not and if they marry the person they marry is their choice; parents have no say whatever. Not so in India. Getting a groom or bride for the daughter or son is one of the great responsibilities of parents, especially for daughters. A complex system is in place to further this end.

The best offers come from friends and relatives and even acquaintances near and far. Everyone has eyes and ears open looking for prospective brides and grooms for children of relatives and friends. It is not unusual for sworn enemies to pass on useful information through common friends. It is a reflex. A young man who keeps bad company or is known to drink or take drugs is not likely to find sponsors and nor would a girl who visits movie theatres with boyfriends. (The door is by no means shut for them. Marriage bureaus, matrimonial columns in newspapers and the Internet neatly bypass the filtering effect of this relative/friend network.)

Once the parents are satisfied and the girl or boy have no objection the next step is exchange phone calls, emails or letters and soon the prospective groom and his parents visit the family of the bride (never the other way about) and if boy and girl like each other and the elders approve the wedding takes place.

My mother's prediction, happily for all of us, proved wrong. I had an offer from a family of our caste in Bangalore 200 miles to the West. They were in the business of taking videos of marriages and other events. The young man and his aunt and a young girl in her early 20s came for the traditional bride viewing. Kishore was 27 years old, above medium height and very handsome. I fell in love with him at first sight. His parents had died when he was in elementary school and his mother's sister who brought him was in her village and was not able to come. The aunt, his mother's half-sister could not be more than in her early 30s. The young girl whom I thought was the sister of Kishore was really a cousin. The family must have been blessed with good looks for the aunt and cousin were good looking especially the aunt who had movie star elegance about her. Kishore liked me and three months later we celebrated our wedding in style.

The nuptial event was in the bridal suite in one of our Five Star Hotels. For the first time in my life I had the pleasure of a tub bath. In water scarce Chennai even if one installs tubs in bathrooms there is no way one can fill it. I immersed in the warm water for quite a while. After the bath I stood naked in front of the full length mirror and examined myself. My friends say I have a pretty face; I have wide hips and narrow waist. I am sure my husband will like my smooth shaven vulva but my breasts were a concern. They were nice and large but had acquired noticeable sag from numerous fondling. Would Kishore notice the sag? Would he be looking out for blood smear of hymen rupture on the sheets? For a brief moment I thought of the pricking myself with a pin to get a blood spot on the sheet but I banished the thought with indignation. Promiscuous I may be but not a liar and cheat. Anyway Kishore who was unlikely to be a virgin had no right to expect his wife to be one. I emboldened myself to deal with the situation if it should arise. It did not.

The gentle precision with which he touched every one of the sensitive spots I knew and the sensitive spots I did not know even existed was unbelievable. I cannot imagine any man having hands so soft. When he plucked my nipples with his lips I moaned. His penis stretched my vagina in a manner the previous three visitors had not done. For the first time I sensed what I believe is the G spot and when he pressed on it I moaned and soon I was screaming softly in orgasm. We had it three times that night and several times on the three days we honeymooned in the elephant sanctuary in Tekkady. After three wonderful days we were on a flight back to Bangalore. Pratap, one of Kishore's cousins in his early 20s received us.

2

We were on the road for almost an hour before reaching home. It was well away from the city. The house was a solitary construction in the midst of uncultivated dry land. High walls surrounded the house which was hardly visible from outside. Kishore pushed open the heavy gates and Pratap drove in. The house appeared like a box with windows set high up. Inside there were mezzanine floors one on each of the sides with independent stairs to reach them. The ground floor was a long wide hall with rooms opening into it from one side and kitchen and bathroom on the other. There were rooms in the back part which Kishore told me were the labs for their photographic work. Kishore and I had the two upstairs rooms on one side to ourselves. The rooms were fully open on the house side but had no windows on the outer side. That was the reason why the house looked like a box. The large windows in the ground floor were too high for one to look out and for those from outside to look in.

I of course had met the family but in the midst of wedding festivities I hardly got to know them. The aunt, Pushpa and cousin Kanaka I have met when they came home to see me. Pratap drove us from the airport. There were two more cousins, Dilip, a young man about Pratap's age and a young lady Vidya maybe a year younger than Kanaka. All of them were very good looking and what is more resembled each other closely enough to be mistaken for siblings including the youthful aunt.

We continued our honeymoon activity for two more days after which I joined in running the household. Curiously they did not employ servant maids. We never had visitors. There were no neighbours for the nearest habitation was a few hutments some distance away. But one did not feel the absence of people around for the aunt and the cousins were a boisterous lot making enough noise for a dozen households. In the midst of such friendliness household chores became not just easy but fun.

On the third day all the three men left before day break. They had an assignment of video graphing an international conference in Bangalore. They were away for two days and the day they returned they shut themselves in the lab till the DVDs were dispatched. Pushpa told me that during the height of the marriage season they would rarely see the three men who would be either away on assignment or locked up in the lab.

I had been a week in my new home and it was time for a review. I liked my new friends and the surroundings but there was something that disturbed me. The location of the house in such a lonely spot, the high walls, the absence of windows for the upper floor rooms and high windows in the lower floor, absence of visitors including servant maids, inmates all young and attractive and topping it all their business of producing videos all seemed to point to some secret activity and I strongly suspected what it could be.

I am a fan of Rajinikant the super hero of Tamil movies. I have not missed any of his movies including the earlier ones that came out before my time in which he was always the villain. My new home reminded me of one of his earliest movies titled Gayathri that I had seen in a TV rerun. The outline of the story is as follows: The hero brings home his new bride. His sister, an uncle and a young servant girl are the others in the home. One night, not finding her husband by her side, she ventures out of her room. The house is dark but light is filtering through the slit in one of the closed rooms. Sensing that something unusual was going on she moves silently. She hears voices behind the closed door. Softly she tries the door. It is locked. She peeps through the key hole and sees the servant girl in scanty dress with her husband making love to her. The other man was shooting with a movie camera while the sister was directing. With a supreme effort of will she steadies herself and moves silently back to the room. She examines the room and finds places on the shelves specially created to hide movie cameras and suddenly she recollects that while making love her husband always brightly lit up the room. She is devastated. The story takes a complicated course but as could be guessed it ends in tragedy.

I was absolutely certain that I was in the midst of porn movie producers and actors and quite possibly was already a star. It was shocking but I was not overwhelmed. The girl in the movie was an innocent creature. It was too much for her. I was a woman with premarital sexual experience. I knew I could handle it. But I had to bide my time. I cannot confront my husband on suspicion alone however strong. I examined the bedroom but there were no possible places to hide a movie camera. I could wait. I had to wait just three days.

3

I am an early riser. I go down and make coffee and bring it up to my room in a thermos flask. That morning I was at my desk sipping coffee as I checked my email. I could look down the hall below. My room was on top of the rooms below. On the opposite side were the bathrooms and the kitchen. The bathroom opened and Vidya got out wrapped in a large bath towel. She stood before the dressing table mirror in the hall and removing the towel from her body she wiped her luxuriant hair. She was totally naked. Dilip and Kanaka came out of their rooms. Dilip pulled a stool and sat in front his naked cousin as she was attending to her hair. She had done with wiping her hair and was combing it. A naked young woman was combing her hair and a young man and woman were in front of her and all three were talking as if nothing unusual was happening. I sensed a movement in a corner. It was Pratap with the movie camera.

I was able to hear their voices but was not able make out the conversation. Dilip must have been commenting on her breasts for she looked at them and with her hands gently patted them. He must have commented on her vulva too for she bent down with thighs slightly parted apparently to check on his comments and then Dilip got off his seat and taking a step forward he rode the tips of his fingers on her vulval split and then they embraced and kissed. From below I could hear aunt's voice from the kitchen. 'Not now Dilip,' she said. 'Please auntie', said Vidya, 'we won't take too much time.' 'OK, OK.' said aunt, 'quickly, I need you here'.

They hugged and kissed and there was ample pelvis grinding. Then Vidya pulled off his shirt and with some help from him his pajamas. Both were naked and were in a tight embrace lips on lips and genital on genital. Kanaka stood by watching them but not with undue interest. This to her was not an unfamiliar sight. Still holding each other they moved to the divan. Vidya lay ready to receive him and he was on top. From my perch upstairs I could see them in joyous union. Pratap meanwhile was now out in the opening capturing the scene. Soon they climaxed and lay hugging each other.

I now had the proof I wanted but my reaction was anything but confrontational. It was something very different—I was trembling with sexual excitement. My vulva was wet and my undergarment already sticking to my crotch. I could sense Kishore standing behind me. I was so hot that I stretched my hands backwards and embraced him round the small of his back and pressed his penis between my shoulder blades. It was hard and rigid. I turned round and pressed my face against his penis. He held my head as I nuzzled his penis. He lifted me by holding my arm pits and we were in a tight embrace. The door was open but I did not care nay, I liked it that way. We were soon naked and he was on top of me. My wetness had spread all over my lower abdomen and inner part of my thighs. Kishore stretched my vagina that day as it has never been stretched before. We had massive orgasms and we lay exhausted on each other's arms. It was a day I will always remember.

"You need an explanation," said Kishore a little later, "for what happened just now."

"Kishore I am frightened." I said.

"Frightened of what?"

"Of going to prison," I said.

"Why prison Saro," he said holding me firmly by the shoulders.

"Selling pornography is a crime isn't?"

"Let me explain. First I assure you that absolutely nothing that is illegal goes on here.

"Nothing?"

"Yes, nothing. All those in this house are 18 or above and are legally adults. We are responsible for our actions and I believe we are all smart enough not to involve ourselves and others in any sort of trouble. If Vidya wants to go naked within the four walls of the house she has the liberty to do so. If Dilip kisses her he can do so with her consent of course. If he wants to have sex with her he can and if they choose the hall for it why not? Taking video of what happens in homes is perfectly legal."

"Selling pornographic material is not," I said.

"Not if you are selling the product in a country where such activity is sanctioned by law."

"Where?"

"In Eastern Europe."

"Why there?"

"Eastern Europe has less contact with India than any other part of the world. We would not like that material filtering in. Privacy concerns and nothing more."

"Am I expected to star in these movies or am I already hot property in Belgrade?"

"We do nothing, absolutely nothing in this house without consent. No hidden cameras and not trick editing. Those who participate see the final product and only after everyone has approved do we export it. Participation is your choice. Any more questions?"

"Several. Letting a stranger like me into the family secret must be dangerous. Why did you risk it? Did you not consider that you may hurt me badly?"

"We researched. It is that simple. We knew you were not the inhibited, narrow minded, false modesty type of girl."

"So even as you came to see me you knew my history."

"Yes. Annoyed?

"Yes, of course."

"But why that bemused smile."

"Funny when I think of the ruses I thought of to make you not suspect that I may not be pure."

"To my best knowledge you did not try out any of them."

"I did not. You know why? I do not cheat. Right or wrong I do things openly."

"Same here," he said. "We will keep it that way." We hugged and kissed with new warmth.

"I am just asking to keep the record straight. Have you had sex with the other women in this house?"

"All the three men in this house have sex with all three women. It is not related to professional needs. We have it when we feel like it. Our movies are not scripted and staged. Spontaneous activity is shot. What you saw this morning is a sample. This makes them so real that our products sell well. You decide where you fit in. It is your choice totally and as I am your husband you can choose for me."

"What do you mean?"

"If you want me to be yours exclusively you have the right to demand and it is my duty to abide."

I did not give a verbal reply. I rested my head on his chest as a mark of trust.

Two days later I was in the thick of a porn movie.

4

I could not have imagined that the breakfast table was to be the scene of action. Kishore was at the table end; I was next to him to his left with Dilip to my left. Kanaka was in front of me and to the right of Kishore with Vidya and aunt to her right. We had not started breakfast when Kanaka got up and bending forward hugged and kissed Kishore. This was the signal for action and Pratap appeared with a camera. Kanaka deliberately removed the pallav of her sari and held his head against her breasts. 'No, don't,' said aunty, 'he's your brother, it is wrong.' But Kanaka was not listening. She removed her blouse and bra and was pressing her bare breasts against his face. By this time Kishore had recovered his poise. He was sucking her. The cameraman was busy going round recording the scene but the rest of were having breakfast as if nothing unusual was happening. But not aunt.

Aunt got up and came round and tried to separate the love makers rather like a referee trying to separate a couple of welter weight boxers. She was crying out loud that brother and sister should not be doing that. Meanwhile Kanaka removed her sari and skirt and was naked. Kishore's dhoti and shirt were off and he was naked too his erect penis flaying about. Kanaka's buttocks were now resting on the edge of the table; her thighs were widely apart with the moisture pouring out of her vulva. It was no acting. The girl was in the throes of top grade sexual excitement. Kishore was in front with penis ready to penetrate. 'Saro you husband is fucking his sister,' aunt was saying, 'do something.' I did what came first to my mind. I took hold of my husband's penis and inserted it into Kanaka's vagina. As the penis smoothly slide in I could hear aunt screaming but the other breakfasters were clapping.

My duty done I went back to my breakfast. Even if we had been playing to a script we could not have achieved the nonchalance with which we breakfasted in the midst of such thrilling activity. The table was shivering from the movement of the lovers and soon it was shuddering, and then it happened. The climaxes of the two must have coincided to perfection for the breakfast dishes were rattling and we could hear Kanaka's soft screams that reached a crescendo and then subsided. The two were panting from the exertion. But what of aunt?

Aunt was looking on dazed. Her mouth was open and her eyes glazed. It was almost as if she was in a trance. Dilip rose from the table and held her by her shoulders and led her to the sofa. He hugged her and tenderly kissed her on the forehead and then the cheek. Aunt responded by hugging him. Gradually Dilip's mood changed. He was now kissing her on the lips, a proper lover's kiss, and aunt was responding. They were soon kissing in frenzy. And then Dilip deliberately undressed her bit by bit and aunt was moving this way and that to make his job easy. When her breasts got exposed she giggled like a teenager and when Dilip uncovered her vulva it was funny seeing her trying to cover herself with her hands laughing the while. Dilip was on her as she leant back on the sofa with thighs widely separated. Pratap was in position camera held low down to record Dilip's penis slide into aunt's vagina. It did not take them long to climax. The lovers, both pairs, where resting in each other arms on the sofas while we finished a leisurely breakfast.

Later that night the DVD was ready. I viewed it. Our men must be expert technicians and editors for the final product was simply magnificent. It was not the muscular exercise of most porn videos I have seen and I have seen a lot. In due course we had reports of the popularity of the video in our markets. Kishore explained that incest has a high rating in porn videos hence taking advantage of similarities in facial appearance they make it appear that the actions are incestuous. I asked him point blank if Kanaka, Vidya and the rest of them were siblings. Kishore assured me that they were close cousins but were in relationships that most religions permitted. He also said that regular customers were making queries about the new star, the wife who inserts husband's penis into his sister's vagina. Yes, I was expected to star in their movies. Soon I had to decide one way or the other.