First Explorations Ch. 04

A year or so after I had first decided to explore my bisexual leanings, I moved out of Los Angeles and headed for the Midwest.

I would miss Smoke, my first real lover.

Other things took precedence, though, and what we had shared was- we both knew- largely physical. He loved someone else but had needed more physical contact. I was not ready for a full relationship with another man, but had undeniable needs and wants.

Things had worked out well for us both, so we parted amicably. We even kept in touch for a few months after I had first moved before we drifted away- he'd found someone else to relieve his needs and I had started dating again.

Those first few months had been hectic: I had to settle into a new apartment, attend classes and find time for a social life once more. When Smoke's emails became more sporadic I was almost glad to have those extra minutes to deal with things.

By the fall, though, I had settled once again into a comfortable routine. I was seeing someone pretty steadily, had classes well in hand as exams wound down and found myself with free time in the afternoons to fill with video games and the occasional attempt at writing.

It was not much longer before I started feeling that familiar urge again. It had been seven or eight months since I'd been with Smoke, and while I was happy with my relationship I could not deny I was ready to be with a man once more.

I spent the next month trying to find a service like the one that had allowed me to meet Smoke. Several frustrating weeks led me to decide that either sex bulletin boards were much rarer in the Midwest or they were much more circumspect than those in California.

As a last resort, I decided to take a half-hearted look in the chat room listings of my commercial ISP. Much to my surprise, I found a listing for "M4M" rooms in my new city after a couple of minutes browsing through the member made chats.

The interface was cleaner, there was a little more chatter than I was used to, but it was on the whole a very familiar feeling when I logged in after twenty minutes of waiting "in line" to enter the room.

After quickly peeking at a couple of people's profiles, I quickly tapped out one of my own; as I had before, I decided that honesty was the best route for a hookup:

26 year old, slightly chubby with fair skin, black hair and brown eyes. I am looking for preferably older top. Likes to give oral and be a bottom; no strings, casual sex and discretion a must.

I included my zip code, general area and a quick mention of when I was usually free.

Then I found a relatively recent picture, attached that in the proper place and settled in to browse profiles and listen to the casual chattering.

For the next few weeks I mostly lurked.

I joined into very few discussions and started chatting to a couple of guys on a regular basis but neither was quite what I was looking for: one was a definite bottom and the other was only interested in getting regular blowjobs.

I did get the occasional instant message window pop up from someone testing the waters. I directed them to my profile and photo, answered their questions honestly. I did not hear back from many of them, made indefinite "we'll see" plans with others whose schedules clashed with my free time and turned a couple of them down outright- they were interested in scat or heavier domination and bondage than I was willing to try.

Most of the time I sat there quietly browsing profiles and reading personal web pages, looking at pictures and getting hornier by the day. I was still seeing my girlfriend regularly, so that helped; nevertheless I was starting to crave the feel of a man against and inside me once more.

In late December, during a particularly cold afternoon, I was lurking in the room.

There had been a heavy snowfall; I could not have left the apartment complex if I'd wanted to. It was out of the question for anyone to drive anywhere until the snow ploughs had cleared the roads, so I was not expecting anything when I logged in. I was considering agreeing to meet the guy who just wanted to use my mouth when a message window popped up on my screen-

"where r u?"

I took a quick look at the profile. It was uninformative at best- his handle, Mike, and a six digit number. I did not usually bother answering that kind of quick-shot message, and I was about to close the window when he sent another line.

"i'm in xxxxxxx apts, want to meet now, top, where r u?"

I had to pause. We lived in the same complex, which meant we could actually meet that very afternoon. I did hesitate- I knew nothing about him except that we were neighbors (which had both advantages and disadvantages as far as discretion went) and was apparently impatient- he repeated his question twice while I tried to decide what to do.

I finally answered that I was in the same apartment complex and sent him my stats- weight, height and the rest of it as well as a link to my picture. I added that I wanted to try being a bottom and had just sent "enter" when he replied, asking for my unit number.

I hesitated again.

I knew I should meet the guy somewhere first, chat a bit more and see if I even liked him before going any farther; at the very least I would then know what he looked like and what he was looking for. Inviting a complete stranger over was dangerous and stupid.

Which was in part why I did it- the thrill of danger sent a flush of excitement through me.

I could feel myself blushing as I typed in my unit number, my balls tightening and cock slowly hardening under my loose shorts as fear combined with desire. I closed the message window and stood as he let me know he'd be over in five minutes.

I was still debating taking a shower when he knocked on my door.

I could feel my heart thundering in my chest as I went to let him in. The blinds on the window dominating the wall next to the door were closed, but I could make out his shadow where he stood waiting.

When I opened the whitewashed door, an eddy of bitterly cold air hit me. Dressed as I was in a loose t-shirt and shorts, it set my teeth to chattering even in the brief moment it took for me to step aside instinctively to let him in out of the cold.

He grunted a greeting, I think, as he stepped inside. He was a few inches taller than me, bundled up in a heavy jacket for the walk across the complex. Flakes of snow melted on the dark fabric as he took a disinterested look around the living room, taking in the computer desk and couch before finding the bedroom door.

I closed and locked the door as I took a look at him.

He was bigger than me. Taller, broader and heavier, as I saw when he took off his jacket and dropped it on the couch. He turned toward me and canted his head toward the bedroom.

He had very dark, heavy lidded eyes and chocolate skin with close cropped black hair. He looked to be eight or ten years older than me, in his mid-thirties.

I nodded and followed him into the bedroom, still trembling from a combination of the cold and excitement.

The low bed dominated the room. The blinds were slanted up, letting in the afternoon light but keeping out curious gazes. He walked in, glancing around, and stopped at the side of the bed, looking back at me with an expectant look.

His stern silence did not lend itself to idle chatter. I looked to him for a clue as to what to do next and he folded his arms over his chest. He had made it clear in the tone and speed of his responses that he was there for one reason; it was a relief, in a way, to know he was not expecting more.

At a loss for what to do next, I stepped closer and knelt before him.

He shifted his weight slightly to make it easier for me to unfasten his belt and the top button of his jeans.

The denim was still cool from the walk and I could smell a hint of sap where he'd brushed against a small tree or bush. I unzipped him and pulled down his jeans slowly down his thick legs until they were pooled over his black tennis shoes.

A dense nest of pubic hair escaped his black briefs at the thighs and rose toward his navel under his t-shirt. I licked my dry lips, smelling him clearly- a faint hint of bitter sweat and salty musk, sharp against the milder scents of clean linens and winter. I could see him bulging against the black cotton, heavy and solid where he pressed against the thin material.

I lay my hands flat against his hips, his skin only now starting to warm up. Hooking my thumbs into the sides of his briefs, I pulled them down hesitantly while he grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it off over his head.

The bristling mat of black hair trailed up past the bulge of his broad belly and around his navel, rising to an only slightly sparser covering on his chest. He was not soft, though; even the swell of his stomach looked firm, his bare arms bulky with muscle instead of flab.

I looked back down as I felt his briefs snag while I pulled on them.

I carefully pulled the elastic out and down over the head of his shaft. Even his cock was stocky- thick and heavily veined, it drooped over the waistband of his briefs as I pulled them down farther.

He had heavy, low-hanging balls, as thickly furred as the rest of his groin. The smell of him was almost overpowering, his presence intimidating as he loomed over me with arms crossed once more.

I reached up, wrapping my hand around his width. My fingers barely met around his girth and even half-erect he almost overflowed my hand; the sharp contrast between my pink palm and his dark, purplish-black flesh made him seem all the bigger.

He stirred slightly in my grasp and laid a hand on my head, pulling me toward him with a firm tug on my hair.

I parted my lips as the tip of his hardening cock bumped against them and closed my eyes as he slid past my lips and against my tongue. My hands flat on his hips, I offered no resistance as he filled my mouth with his meat and drowned me with the smell of his sex. His bristly nest of hair scratched my nose and cheeks and I felt him against the back of my throat, threatening to make me gag.

He withdrew after a moment, pushing my head back as he pulled his glistening shaft from my mouth. When he was halfway out he pushed into me once more, my lips tightly wrapped around his still hardening member and tongue gingerly stroking the underside of his veined length.

He bumped the back of my throat and withdrew once more, wet and warm and smelling of my spit and his musk.

I could feel him getting harder and thicker as he settled into a steady rhythm to fuck my mouth. He'd push over half his length into me before withdrawing, grunting now and then as I did my best to suck and lap his cock. I ran a hand over his thigh and under, cupping and stroking his hairy, heavy balls in my fingers.

He grunted once more.

He was fully hard, thick enough to make the corners of my mouth ache as he pushed into me. When he thrust deep enough to tap the back of my throat, his bristly black pubic hair would brush my cheeks as my nose was buried in the thick nest, pungent with the tang of his sweat and skin.

I tasted the familiar hint of slick salt on my tongue as he started to leak pre-cum. Instead of hastening his thrusts, though, he slowed and withdrew from my mouth. His stiff tool stood straight from the dense mat of black curls, slick and dripping with my saliva. Thick as a rolled up magazine, cinnamon flesh dark with blood, a tiny drop of pearl tipped the mushroom head.

I looked up, still cupping his balls and panting to catch my breath. He met my gaze over the swell of his belly, his fingers still tangled in my hair.

"Are you ready for it, bitch?" His voice was low and gravelly, almost breathless.

I swallowed thickly and nodded with the aftertaste of his seed strong on my tongue.

I stumbled over to the low bed on wobbly legs.

"I'm tight," I mumbled as I walked. "So maybe with me bent over..."

He muttered an assent as I gathered up some pillows and a couple of spare blankets to hastily form a pile on the edge of the bed. He stepped behind me, one hand cradling his balls and encircling the base of his shaft as I pulled my t-shirt over my head and tossed it aside.

I felt his hand, cool and firm against my shoulder blade as he pushed me forward against the bed. My knees hit the pile of bedding and I barely caught myself on outstretched arms, my chest resting against the pillows atop the pile as I tried not to fall in a sprawling heap. I made a surprised sound, surprised by the shove.

He steadied me with his hands on my hips, waiting until I regained some semblance of balance. Leaning over as I was- stomach resting on the pile of bedding, leaning forward at an angle with my hands holding my weight and legs spread for balance- I could not easily move without falling over.

He grabbed my shorts and underwear and yanked them down abruptly until they were stretched just above my knees. I shivered- my ass was in the air, leaving me vulnerable and exposed to a stranger that was bigger and heavier than me.

He ran a hand over the swell of my ass, sending a rippling tingle up my spine and making my own cock stir against the warm bedding. Then he slapped my butt, hard enough to sting and make me cry out again in surprise. He rubbed the sore spot a moment before slapping my flesh again, murmuring in approval as I hissed in surprised pain.

I felt him step closer as he used a foot to yank down my shorts the rest of the way and brushed his warm thigh against mine as he grabbed my hips.

I was breathing more rapidly, trying to see what he was doing over my shoulder: the scent of the bedding mixed with a hint of nervous sweat beading on my brow as he held me there, helpless.

He struck the now-tender spot once more, making me wince, cry out and clench my fists in the sheets.

And then I felt him, blunt and broad and still damp with my saliva, pushing between my cheeks and brushing up against my sensitive pucker.

I groaned and took a sharp breath as he rubbed his tip against me, grinding his thick tool against my tight knot with growing insistence. He placed one hand on my hip to hold me, the other guiding his cock in its assault.

I held out a minute, groaning and trembling as he bore down on my asshole with steady pressure and a low murmur- "that's right, look at that bright pink ass, so tight..."

The tip of his dick pressed in ever so slightly, finally denting the ring of muscle trying to keep him out.

With a guttural grunt and a painful tightening of his hold on my hip, he pushed hard.

In that position, I had no way to clench against him.

He sunk the huge, blunt head of his tool and a couple of inches of thick, hard meat into me with that first thrust.

The pain was worse than my first time, since he'd not bothered to prepare me; I offered less resistance, since I'd grown used to having a man inside me in my time with Smoke. He ripped me open wide and fast as I screamed against the sheets and then panted for breath as he started to withdraw... only to swing his hips forward again, impaling me deeper.

I gave up screaming and started squirming, trying to find purchase to get away from him. He held me fast with both hands on my hips; I could not escape as he pummeled into me. He'd withdraw an inch or two, and then thrust in again hard and fast and deeper, drawing a new gasp and painful cry from me at each push.

He had pushed me onto the bed, his attack forcing me to my knees on the mattress and pressing my head down against the sheets as he kneeled behind me and continued to lunge deeper into my battered ass.

My cheek pressed to the bed and hands clenched in the sheets, I finally stopped struggling to get away and tried to relax.

The torn muscles straining around his shaft burned. I could feel him filling me, every vein and ridge straining my insides as he moved deeper inside with each grunt and thrust. My ears were filled by my heartbeat and the drone of his grunting and whispers; I could taste the salt of a tear on my lips and feel his fingers pressed deep into my flesh at hip and butt cheek.

He pushed one more time and I felt the thick mat of his pubic hair caress my flesh.

Once more, his grunt synchronized to my groan, and his hipbone pressed against my butt cheeks, his balls swinging against mine as he finally managed to bury himself in me to the hilt.

I was at his mercy, his thick man meat buried deep inside me and his hands pinning me to the bed. The pain burned bright, long tendrils of agony up my spine and wrapped around his shaft.

And I was rock hard against the pillows and sheets, a warm dampness against my groin from my own pre-cum. I enjoyed the powerless feeling, liked being used and surrendering control so totally even as I gritted my teeth against the pain.

He ground against me, stretching my mauled hole around his girth with every rocking motion of his hips as I squirmed and whimpered. Then he withdrew slowly, pulling out almost half way before pushing back into my burning flesh and ripping me open further with little shoves and rolling thrusts against my weary brown-eye.

For the next few eternal minutes he pummeled me into total submission.

He would withdraw slowly and then slam into me hard and fast.

His hips pressed against my tender ass, he'd twist and push while I writhed and groaned under him. I scrabbled at the sheets, fists clenched around the cotton; he held me firmly, my hips bruising under his grip.

Every time he impaled me, my balls tightened and my cock throbbed.

When my nerves finally numbed under his assault I could feel him filling me up completely with an occasional jab of pain as he ripped into me.

I started moaning against the sweat and tear-damp sheets and pushing back to meet his thrusts. I tasted salt on my lips, breathed in sex and musk and heard only the rhythmic slap-and-grunt of flesh meeting flesh as he fucked me.

His long strokes and hard thrusts turned to more urgent, vicious stabs and his breathing quickened as he grew even harder and swollen inside me. He tensed up, growling, and pulled me back hard against his hips; he panted and groaned and then held still.

He let out a drawn out moan as he paused, his cock buried to the base in me- I could feel him pulse and spasm against my insides, his coarse pubic hair scratching my red and tender ass cheeks.

He relaxed at last and pulled out from my battered flesh with a low, wet sound. We were both panting and my legs were trembling- I had been near, so near to climax; my balls ached with pent up pressure and my cock felt ready to burst.

Then he flipped me on my back with a sudden twist, rolling me off the pile of bedding as my legs finally collapsed. My eyes widened in surprise as I looked up at him.

His cock was still hard, dripping with a pearly wetness that was streaked with red- I could feel his seed leaking out in a warm, slow caress down my crease. A thin sheen of sweat made his dark skin gleam in the light as he kneeled on the edge of the bed and pulled my legs up and out to wrap around his waist.

My bruised entrance was still gaping from our screwing. He bumped and rubbed his slick head between my cheeks for a few seconds before finding his way in and pushing past my aching ring with a low moan. I groaned as the new angle made him brush against new nerves and push in even deeper than before, my legs tightening around his waist involuntarily and drawing him deeper.

He let his weight sink his whole shaft into my flesh. I panted and clenched my eyes at the ripples of renewed pain; it was an effort to breathe as he pinned me down and ground his hips against mine.

He straightened and rested his hands on my waist. My legs were draped high around his hips as he withdrew about halfway before plunging back into my ass. As he started pounding into me, I cried out. Waves of pain and flashes of pleasure ran up my nerves as he settled into a hard rhythm that slapped my own engorged cock against my stomach. The smack of flesh on flesh was a faint undertone to the blood rushing in my ears and my broken breathing.