First Love, Last Love

"I'm quivering," I joked.

"You are such a dick!" he snapped, but then he laughed and added, "I hope Shelly's friend is cute. All she would tell me was that the lady has a great personality."

"Kyle, I don't want a blind date!" I said. He nodded, but I could tell he was ignoring me. This was going to be a long weekend.

* * *

"What, no red?" Kyle asked as I entered his house. The party was already in full swing. The entire house was done up in shades of red.

"I always thought it was your ex who had such tacky taste," I joked back.

"Let's go find Shelly," he said. "She'll want to say hello." He led the way and I followed, knowing full well he was leading me toward whatever woman Shelly had picked out for me. A feeling of dread started to well up inside of me.

We found Shelly in the kitchen. A tall blond woman was helping her pull hors d'oeuvres out of the oven. She was cute enough.

"This is Shelly sister," Kyle introduced with a grin. "Her husband is around here somewhere." I said hello. A rather plumb woman entered the kitchen. She looked at Shelly and smiled. The feeling of dread deepened.

"Cher! You made it!" Shelly cried and ran to hug her friend.

"It was harder than you think," Cher replied. "My mother got sick and wasn't available to watch the baby, so I had to use one of my nieces."

"Bob agreed to that?" Shelly asked in surprise.

"Well, after two weeks at home with our new baby, even an overprotective jerk like him needs a night out," Cher joked as I sighed in relief, but then I felt like an ass. The truth was that Cher seemed nice.

"Is Carol here yet?" Shelly asked. I looked at Kyle, but he shook his head. Carol wasn't my blind date either.

"Not yet," Cher replied. "Her baby sitter couldn't make it until later."

"I think I'd better go find your blind date before you bolt," Kyle said with a grin as he left. I shook my head.

"Blind date?" Shelly asked. I looked at her in confusion.

"Kyle says you and he set me up with one of your friends," I replied. Shelly frowned and shrugged.

"Not one of my friends," she replied. "I hate the whole idea of blind dates."

"Me too," I sighed, and then began to add, "But then who ..." A thought hit me and I stopped talking mid-sentence. The color must have drained from my face because Shelly sounded concerned.

"What's wrong?" Shelly asked.

"If you boyfriend did what I think he did," I growled. "You'd better call the coroner because I'm going to kill him!"

"What did he do?" she asked.

"Forget it," I said as I bolted toward the back door. I needed to get out of Kyle's house now!

"Slow down sailor."

I froze. It wasn't the words. It was the voice that said them. Kyle has actually done it! I was going to kill him! He must have felt my anger because he was standing behind Jodie looking ready to run. Of course, he was wearing a huge grin.

"Not afraid of little old me?" Jodie continued.

"Afraid? No," I said calmly. "Terrified would be more honest." Jodie laughed.

"This kitchen is getting rather crowded," Shelly said. She didn't know Jodie, but she could tell there was something between us. "Why don't you two go get a drink?"

"Sounds good to me," Jodie said. I shook my head and followed her out of the room. Kyle was sure to keep someone between him and I at all times.

"I'll get you for this!" I growled lowly once Jodie was out of the room.

"Your welcome," Kyle replied. I shook my head again.

Jodie was waiting for me with a smile. I couldn't help but return it. She was wearing a black turtleneck with a crimson vest and black slacks. She looked amazing, as usual. We made our way to the drinks and I grabbed a beer and made her a fuzzy navel.

"You remembered," she smiled. I shrugged, causing her to sigh.

"Look," Jodie said. "Kyle called me and set this whole thing up. We don't actually have to go through with it. I'll leave if you want."

"No," I said quickly, surprising myself. "It wouldn't be fair considering you got all dressed up and everything."

"That's okay," she said with a smile that quickly turned into a grin. "It was worth it just to see your expression." I shook my head and laughed.

"By the way, my mother sends her love," Jodie said.

"How is she doing?" I asked honestly curious. I heard that her husband died a couple of years ago. He wasn't Jodie's biological father and she had issues with him growing up, but I always liked the man.

"Good," she replied, and then obviously thinking about something else, she quickly added, "Oh, you'll love this!"

"What?"

"Janice is going to be a grandmother!" Jodie laughed.

"Your sister?" I asked in surprise.

"Of course my sister!" she replied with a roll of her eyes. Her action brought back so many memories of when we used to date that I couldn't help but smile.

"Sammy must be ecstatic," I said. Sammy was Janice's husband.

"They both are," Jodie grinned.

The next couple of hours went by in a blur. I ended up having a great time. I forgot how much fun Jodie was to be around. I knew most of the people Kyle invited and quite a few were friends from high school. They all had something smart to say when they saw Jodie and I together.

I was returning from the kitchen when I found Jodie talking to Barry. There was a twinge of jealousy, but I let it go. Barry was the first guy Jodie dated back in high school when she decided we needed to see other people. He was in her class and everyone liked him, even me.

It wasn't really that big of a deal for them to be talking. Barry was married with three kids and Jodie and I weren't even dating, but it bothered me just the same. It took me a couple of seconds to realize that it was the memory of Jodie and my break that was the problem, not Barry himself. I sighed and made my way over.

"Hello, Barry," I said, holding out my hand.

"Hey!" he said, taking hold of it and shaking. "It's good to see you." The three of us talked for a while before he excused himself.

"It's time for a game!" Kyle called out and I groaned.

"What?" Jodie asked. I shook my head.

"You don't want to know," I said, but then explained anyway. "Kyle loves to play stupid couple games during these parties."

"What kind of games?" Jodie teased with a slight smile and raised eyebrow. There was something in her expression that sent a chill down my spine. She always had a way of doing that to me. Of course, she never backed up her flirting with action! I decided it was time to tease her back a little.

"There are a bunch, but be careful because they all tend to be sexual in nature," I said seriously. She looked at me, obviously startled.

"You're joking?" she asked. I shrugged, fighting hard to keep a straight face.

"The last time Kyle had one of these parties it got a little out of hand," I said. Jodie looked at me and then slowly started shaking her head.

"I have no intention of playing whatever game Kyle has come up with," she said. "I'm far too old to be playing that type of a game."

"Prude," I teased.

"I am not a prude," she said. "In fact, if my memory serves, I was the more adventurous of us."

"Sure," I grinned. "When it came to drinking and stuff like that, but not when it came to sex."

"That's just because I was so clueless in that area," she replied, blushing. I don't know why I said what I said next. I guess it was the alcohol.

"Me too," I admitted.

"Really?" she asked in surprise.

"Oh, come on! You had to know," I insisted. Jodie looked at me.

"That explains a lot," she said. It was my turn to frown.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked. Jodie just smiled and shook her head. "What?"

"Later," she said, and then asked, "No what are we going to do while the others play this game?"

"You're not playing?" Kyle asked as he walked up.

"I'm not into sex games," Jodie snapped. Kyle frowned and looked toward me. I winked and his frown turned into a smile.

"The closest to a sex game we've ever played was Twister," he said. "Just what kind of a party do you think I'm having?"

"But he said..." Jodie began, pointing at me.

"She always was a bit of a pervert," I interjected. "I don't know where she gets these ideas."

"You bastard!" Jodie snapped, slapping me in the arm.

"You know, I'm sure any number of the guys here would be willing to play those types of games with you if you want," Kyle continued. "Just try and be discreet. Take it in a room."

"I just might do that!" she growled. She was still blushing.

"So, what kind of a game do you have this year?" I asked Kyle, changing the subject.

"It's a 'How well do you know your partner' game," he said, growing serious. "Every one gets a form to fill out. It asked questions about your date. The couple who gets the best combined score wins a prize."

"What?" Jodie asked.

"They get to spend ten minute in a bedroom together," Kyle teased. I laughed, but Jodie just shook her head. "Actually, I have a nice bottle of champagne that I've been saving for the occasion."

"The one you picked up in France last year?" I asked.

"Exactly," Kyle replied.

"That's an awfully expensive prize," I said, surprised he was willing to part with it.

"Well, I needed something that would make people willing to play," Kyle replied, and then he handed us two forms and paper. "I'm entering you two."

"No," I said, trying to give back the form.

"Too late," he laughed and walked away. I turned toward Jodie.

"I don't mind," she said. "It could be fun."

"We haven't really talked to each other in years," I argued. Jodie shrugged and started reading the questions.

"That's an interesting question," Jodie said, putting the pencil to her bottom lip. My curiosity got the best of me. I looked down at the paper and read the first question. It seemed simple enough. She was obviously not talking about that one.

"Which question?" I asked. Jodie moved closer and held her paper like she was going to show it to me, but instead she totally shocked me by leaning in and kissing me. I stood numb until she was done.

"Hmm," she said, sounding disappointed. "I guess I'll have to change my answer to question four." I looked down and read the question. I quickly looked at her. She was smiling.

"So, you think I'm a good kisser?" I asked.

"I used to," she replied, her smile turned into a grin. I shook my head and focused on answering the questions. Jodie laughed and started filling in her own sheet. Most of the people around us were doing the same thing. I was on question seven when I looked back at question four.

"Oh, to hell with it!" I grumbled as I leaned toward Jodie. She looked up and I kissed her. This time it was her turn to be surprised. Of course, her surprise didn't last nearly as long as mine. Jodie returned my kiss almost immediately. It felt like every nerve in my body came alive at once.

"Hey you two! Cut that out! That's cheating!" Kyle said from across the room. Most of the people present were laughing. "No research during the game!" I broke the kiss and blushed. Jodie took a moment before she opened her eyes.

"That was nice," she said.

"Now, answer whatever you like to question four," I said and turned back toward my paper. Jodie made a big show out of erasing one of her answer. A number of people laughed. I shook my head, but found it hard not to smile.

The next twenty minutes were spent answering questions. There were quite a few. It actually turned out being more fun then I expected because there was rampart cheating. Maybe cheating is too strong of a term. The couples were looking at each other's answers and making comments. Every so often a couple would start fighting until everyone started teasing them. My favorite comments came from a couple I barely knew.

One of the questions prompted the husband to tease his wife about her lack of experience before they started dating. They were both pretty drunk.

"I think it's funny how someone with my experience settled for a virgin," the husband joked. He thought he was being historical, but his wife didn't seem to think so.

"The funny part is that you still believe that I was a virgin," the wife retorted causing everyone to burst out laughing.

Kyle and Shelly collected the papers and took them into the kitchen. A couple of her friend went with then to help figure out who won. I thought to go as well, but Jodie stopped me.

"Let's dance," she said, taking my hand in hers. I could feel her warmth spread through me from her hand. I shook my head at my reaction, but followed her to the dining room. It was converted to a dance floor for the party. Kyle actually had someone acting as a disc jockey. We started dancing and the time flew.

"We'll be announcing the winner to the contest in a few more minutes," Kyle said between songs. He saw Jodie and I dancing. He smiled and turned toward the DJ. He said something I couldn't hear, but I wasn't surprised when the next song came on. It was a slow one, and not just any slow one.

"Sounds familiar," Jodie smiled. She looked at me to see if I remembered. I nodded slightly and she smiled.

"I haven't danced to this song in years," she said, and then paused before looking at me carefully and adding, "Not since the last time we danced to it."

"Me neither," I admitted, holding my hands out. Jodie came to me and filled my arms. She smelled wonderful. I should have left the dance floor right then because I knew this was a mistake, but I couldn't. I wanted it too much. I decided that for the length of this single song I'd simply forget my concerns and fears, and let go. Jodie must have sensed my decision because she smiled and leaned into me.

The song was as beautiful as I remembered and for the first time in years I didn't feel any pain as I listened to it. I leaned forward and kissed Jodie once more as the last few notes played. I held her for a moment after the song ended and she looked willing to hold on even longer, but Kyle was gathering everyone to announce the winner.

"Let's go," I said, my voice horse for some reason. Jodie nodded, but didn't seem happy about it. We followed everyone into the living room. Kyle went on for a few minutes about some of the answers people gave. It was hilarious, but eventually he wound down and made the 'big' announcement.

"Okay, first place and this lovely bottle of champagne goes to Barry and his wife Joan," Kyle finally said. Everyone applauded. Barry took the bottle and shook Kyle's hand.

"I think we'll save this for our anniversary next month," he said.

"Aw!" a number of people called out. Barry just laughed and went back to his wife. Everyone started turning away, but Kyle called them all back.

"This year I've decided that the second place finishers will also get a prize as well," he said.

"What do they get?" someone called from the corner of the room.

"An hour alone in one of my spare bedroom upstairs!" Kyle said, causing everyone to laugh. "No! I'm serious!" The laughter continued, but I could tell from his expression that he wasn't kidding. He looked toward Jodie and I and smiled, before turning back to the crowd.

"He wouldn't," Jodie said suddenly. I frowned and looked at her before it hit me.

"Oh, yes he would," I groaned.

"The second place winners did far better than a couple that hasn't really been a couple for years should be able to do," Kyle said, looking directly at me. So did half the people in the place. Kyle announced Jodie and I as the second place winners to jeers and teasing from just about everyone.

"Fix!" someone called out. Kyle placed his hand on his heart before answering.

"No! I swear!" he said. "They were the only ones within spitting distance of Barry and Joan."

"So how did you and Shelly do?" someone called.

"We'll, we're only been dating a few weeks so far," he said, blushing.

"Six weeks," Shelly corrected, causing everyone to laugh again.

"Hey! Let's not forget to give the second place winners their prize," Kyle said, pushing everyone attention back toward us.

"That's okay," I said.

"What? Don't think you can last an hour alone with Jodie?" someone asked.

"I'm sure I can't," I replied.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jodie asked with a raised eyebrow. I just shrugged innocently. The laughter continued.

"Let's go you two," Kyle said taking us both by the hand. A few of the others joined him in 'helping' us along.

"Oh, please!" I sighed. "We're not kids any more."

"Yeah," Jodie agreed. "It's not like we both don't have our own places to spend time together in."

"Aha!" Kyle said with a grin. "So, you two plan on spending the night together!"

"No!" I snapped, but no one heard me except Jodie. Everyone else was laughing. She frowned, but remained silent.

"Just come along and accept your prize," Kyle insisted. "It would be rude to turn it down." So, a few minutes later Jodie and I were alone in one of Kyle's spare bedrooms. Kyle and those who helped him drag us there left with a couple of rude suggestions. I could hear them laugh as they made their way back to the party.

"So now what?" I asked nervously.

"Well, I think we are supposed to kiss and see what happens afterward," Jodie teased. "But I'm willing to talk if that's what you want to do."

"This is a bad idea," I sighed. Jodie shrugged.

"Maybe, but don't you think it's time you finally told me why you did what you did?" she asked.

"I'd rather not," I replied.

"Tough," Jodie snapped. I was tempted to leave, but she wanted to know and Jodie really was the type to get what she wanted. I decided that it was pointless not to tell her. She wouldn't stop asking until I did.

"You really don't want to know," I said, trying one last time to convince her to let it be. "It was a long time ago."

"Tell me," she insisted. I shook my head and took a deep breath before answering.

"I loved you too much," I finally admitted.

"What?" she asked in amazement, but then continued before I could speak. "Are you trying to tell me you married another woman because you cared too much for me?" Her voice held her disbelief.

"Yes," I replied, but then after a moment's hesitation, I shook my head and added, "And no." Jodie sat down on the edge of the bed.

"This should be good," she sighed, waiting for me to continue.

"Jodie, it's too hard to explain," I said, rubbing my hand through my hair. It wasn't really all that difficult, but the amount of effort it would take to open myself up was huge.

"Try," she insisted. I looked and her a moment and finally admitted the truth.

"You didn't love me enough," I said. Jodie jumped up.

"How dare you say that! I cried when I heard you were getting married!" she yelled. I could see her eyes well up in tears. We fell silent for a few minutes while we both gathered ourselves.

"Ryan," I finally said.

"Ryan who?" Jodie asked. I shrugged.

"You never told me his last name."

"Ryan Finnigan?" Jodie said. "The guy I dated the summer between my junior and senior year of college?" I smiled sadly and nodded. Jodie frowned and asked, "What about him?"

"Do you remember when I visited you at the pool you were life guarding at that summer?" I asked. Jodie nodded and I continued. "We were friends again by then, but we weren't dating. You were hurting because Ryan broke up with you. All you could talk about was how hurt you were."

"I remember," Jodie said. "You said that you hoped Ryan and I would get back together."

"Yes, because you obviously loved him very much," I said, sitting on the edge of the bed. Jodie sat next to me. I could have leaned a little and touched her, but I kept my distance.

"I loved you so much that if your happiness meant you being with another man, then so be it. It was one of the most painful moments in my life, but I can honestly say that I wanted you to be happy no matter what it cost me." We again fell silent. This time Jodie broke it.