First Time Fling

My first time? Oh, I remember that quite well. One really never forgets those things do they? Let me see... oh, I've got it now. It was the summer of 1943 and America was at the height of the Second World War. I was nineteen at the time. My boyfriend Johnny was just wrapping up his job at the malt shop. A year older than me, he was a soda jerk, he loved that job. He was saving up to buy his first car, so he took any job that really was available.

I made my way to the malt shop and found him behind the same counter he had been behind for a month. Johnny waved to me as soon as he saw me. I was just about to wave back when he hopped over the broad marble that separated him from me. He quickly swept me up in his arms and looked at me looked at me lovingly with those beautiful brown eyes.

"Hey there doll-face" he said. Doll-face was my nickname. "Three o'clock already?"

"Yes it is." I replied from his arms with a smile that would make Lena Horne herself jealous.

Johnny sat me down on one of the tables in the corner of the shop. "Look what I got as an added bonus today." He said as he held up a crisp clean ten dollar bill in front of his face. Naturally I was stunned.

"Where did you get that?" I proclaimed as he put the money back in his pocket.

"Old man Hightower gave it to me today as a tip just for making him a banana split. I'm halfway to my car already." I thought he had gotten confused in handling his money because just last month he was only one hundred dollars short. But I couldn't lament on this because before I got a chance to speak Johnny stuck his hand in his other pocket.

"Now I had to use half of my money for something more important than a stupid car." As he was saying that he pulled out a small box. My heart instantly began to race, is he getting ready to ask me what I think he is? Johnny continued "I realize you are more important to me than any car. I love you with all my heart Dorothy Jo Epstein, will you marry me?" He opened the small red box to uncover the biggest diamond I have ever seen. "What do you say?" Johnny asked

"I..." I was speechless. I didn't know what to say at the time. The ring was beautiful, and the thought of spending the rest of my life with the guy I love was wonderful. After I came down off of Cloud Nine I gave him the answer we both wanted to hear. "Yes. YES! I will marry you Johnny."

Johnny's eyes lit up as he danced through the malt shop telling everybody he could "We're getting married!"

Mr. Markie the malt shop owner gave us a special ice cream sundae on the house. We sat and ate very quickly talking about how our lives together are going to be.

We took the long way to Johnny's house that day, Johnny telling everyone we passed on the street the good news. All the while we were walking we began making plans for our elaborate wedding. I planed on having a great big white wedding dress, with full train and all. Doves and white roses would line the aisle as I walked to Johnny, him in a nice black tuxedo with a grand top hat. It was the perfect storybook wedding. I thought it would be something like that Cinderella movie that came to the picture show last week. That Walt Disney guy is putting out good things.

We finally arrived at Johnny's house. It was a nice big white house with a wooden picket fence. Lush wildflowers in the front lawn, sprinkler going off gently on the grass. Johnny went up to the door and opened the mailbox; he only glanced at the mail before he dropped it in a pile in front of him. He was staring at one long yellow envelope in his hands. I went over to him and looked at the envelope in question. It had a United States Government seal on it and as Johnny took the letter out of the haunting envelope I could make out the first lines on the paper.

"Fifty-fourth United States Secretary of War Henry Lewis Stimson has selected you for active duty, to serve your country in the war in Europe." I read as Johnny looked stunned as he sat down on the bench on the porch. I started to get choked up as I asked him "When does the letter say you leave?"

Johnny looked up from the letter and started staring into space. "Tomorrow." He said. His voice almost seemed distant as he carefully folded the letter back into the envelope.

Johnny broke the silence after a while and said "I always kept a trunk packed and ready to go, but I never hoped to use it." I walked over to him and sat on his lap and told him: "Listen were going to have fun tonight, so when you're in the latrines and you guys are swapping stories, yours will be the best."

Johnny said "Thanks Dottie. What's a latrine?" I shrugged my shoulders and said "I thought you would know."

Later that evening Johnny and I were walking down Main Street when we passed the dance hall. We had already been to the picture show to see Cinderella and the song "Bippity-Boppity-Boo" was going through our heads. We walked into the dance hall to do a little jitterbugging. The Andrews Sisters were performing their song "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B" when we walked out on to the dance floor.

My Johnny had always been a great dancer; he knew how to do the Lindy Hop, the Twenty- Three Skidoo, and can that guy Fox Trot!

We danced for hours, leaving only when the place closed. Me and Johnny walked back to his house and went inside before the June bugs got a hold of us. I sat down on the sofa in the parlor and called Johnny to sit beside me. I had been deciding what to do for a long time now with Johnny and I and our relationship.

Tonight my decision was made final. Johnny came into the parlor and turned on the radio. Glenn Miller's song "Pennsylvania 6-5000" was just in its first few bars of play. I placed my hand on Johnny's and I looked him deep in his eyes.

"Johnny" I began. I realized that this was the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with and I must let him know how I feel about him. I finished "I want you to love me."

Johnny looked back at me with those beautiful brown eyes and asked "Are you sure?"

I shook my head yes and continued "I want you to love me, right here and now. I love no one but you, and I want you to know that by giving you the most precious thing I have- myself."

Johnny didn't know what to say, so I had to help him. I pulled him atop me and kissed him. He seemed to the idea as he undid his trousers and I my undergarments. He positioned himself between me and then stopped.

I looked directly at him and said "Please be careful. I've never done this before." Johnny looked back at me and said "Don't worry, neither have I." I gave a slight laugh as he lowered himself closer and then I felt his touch. Even though he was going in slowly it hurt like the dickens!

He began picking up speed and it was starting to feel good. The faster he moved the more good it felt. It was like something I never had experienced before. Then as soon as it happened it was over. I felt him tremble and the thing that was in me stopped and shrunk.

"Is that it?" I asked. He replied with an uncertain "I think so" We got ourselves up, not sure if we did it right.

Later Johnny walked me back home, he gave me a soft kiss on the forehead and said "I leave at nine o'clock OK?"

I kissed him back and said "I won't forget." I went to sleep that night feeling so special, thinking of the night that had just passed. When I woke up the clock said nine twenty-five. I rushed to the bus stop, hoping that the bus would be late, but I knew it wouldn't be. Johnny's mother met me on the way back from the bus stop. She said Johnny had to leave early and to give me a kiss from him.

I thought of him all day that day, on his way to Europe, ready to fight for his country. I felt proud to be his fiancé.

About a month later, my mother took me to the doctor because my monthly visitor hadn't come yet. I then learned I was with child. On the way home my mother and I were planning out a letter to Johnny when on our veranda there were two men. They were dressed like the guys I saw on the newsreels at the picture show so I assumed they were from the army.

They addressed themselves as Generals Williamson and Oswalt of the United States Army. They were asking which one of us was Dorothy Jo Epstein. I introduced myself to the General and he asked if he could come inside.

I obliged and allowed him and the other general he was with inside. I asked them if they would like some sweet tea, but they politely refused. General Oswalt handed me a picture of Johnny and a pair of metal tags. The General explained that it was a dog tag; it held the personal information of the officer holding it. I couldn't understand what was going on.

I politely asked the General "But why aren't they with Johnny?"

The General started to explain "That's why we're here. Johnny was in the Airborne Division of our infantry. The plane he was in was struck by German bombers and crashed over France."

The General started to place his hand on mine but I quickly drew away and asked "He'll be alright won't he?" General Williamson finished where Oswalt left off. "We managed to pull him from the wreckage and get him on the way to the hospital. He just had one request.

His words were 'Go tell my Dottie that my life was better having known her. Go tell my Dottie that she always made me feel swell. Go and tell my Dottie...I love her.' He died shortly after that en route to the hospital."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I felt faint, I tried to stand up but my legs didn't seem to work. I collapsed there in the middle of the floor. I caught sight of the engagement ring he gave me and that was the last straw. I couldn't control myself as tears flowed down my face.

My mother ran to me and hugged me "I know baby, I know." She said over my sobs.

I struggled to get out of her grip, but it was no use. I yelled "No you DON'T know! We were supposed to get MARRIED! He was going to be MINE FOREVER!" I couldn't compose myself and I don't know when I fainted, all I remember is waking up in my bed and it just being the middle of the night.

The next few months went by in a blur. I remember a lot of people coming by offering their condolences, but that's it. After Johnny's mother heard the news she went to pieces.

She was a complete wreck; she tried to kill herself a few times. She was eventually moved to the Morningwood Sanitarium upstate, where she succeeded a month later.

The doctors don't know how it happened but they went to her room one morning to find her just lying there. I don't think she killed herself, I think she just had a broken heart.

I had Johnny Jr. in February of 1944. As he got older he began to look more and more like his father. Even though Johnny left me in one way he came back to me in another.

I got older, eventually gotten married, had three more children of my own with my husband, and they in turn have given me grandchildren. And my grandchildren now have children of their own. I turn eighty- three next month, my husband is long gone, and I only have my memories and my family to love now. Even though I got married, my heart will always be with my Johnny. I loved him like I have and never will love anyone else in the world. I just love him too much.