Fishing with My Daughter Pt. 03

Fishing With My Daughter: She Worries

Five months ago, I wrote a story called Fishing With My Daughter. It was meant to be a happy little piece about a father and daughter fishing on their home stream and discussing one of life's big questions. I guess I enjoyed it a bit too much because I wrote a second and now a third. I like the idea of an intact and loving family where the father is there for his daughter and his daughter looks to him for guidance. So, for better or worse, here is the third installment.

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It's a wonder sometimes how life works out. There are so many struggles, so many opportunities to make colossal mistakes, and yet if you persevere and remain true to yourself and the others around you it all seems to work out in the end. Not that I'm anywhere near the end you understand! It's just that I think back on my life so far and I feel blessed. We aren't rich or powerful and we don't have an impressive house or fancy cars. We have only ourselves and enough to get by. In the end, that's all you really need. My father passed away this year. He was almost 90, but he lived long enough to see and hold his first great grandchild. It's hard to ask for more than that. Mom died a decade ago before our daughter married, but I like to think that dad has filled her in on what she missed.

And so I find myself back on the stream I've fished with my daughter since she was big enough to wear waders. She and David have been married seven years now and my granddaughter turned one year old last month. David is a good man and I sleep well knowing that my little girl and her little girl are loved, watched over, and cared for. Like I said, life works out when you remain true to yourself. Still, there are times when a daughter needs to talk with her old man and today was one of those times.

It was a perfect day. The sun was shining and there were a few scattered clouds, but not a threat of storm anywhere. We took a break from the fishing to sit by the edge of the stream and eat a sandwich.

Julie had that thousand-mile stare. She was looking across the stream at nothing in particular. "It seems like every week someone I know tells me they're getting a divorce."

"Ouch. That's rough."

"Some of my friends who got married around the same time as me are calling it quits."

"I'm really sorry to hear that, Jules. You know the statistics are frightening. Half of all marriages don't make it, but that also means that half of them do."

"When did you become a Pollyanna?"

I had to laugh at that. She knew me too well. "I like to think of myself as a romantic pragmatist, or is it a pragmatic romantic?"

I looked over at my daughter. Her eyes were closed, she had a smile on her lips, and she was quietly shaking her head. A daughter's respect for her father can be a fragile thing.

"You know the single biggest thing you need to have a successful marriage is the desire to have a successful marriage. Or is it trust? Communication is big. Patience, too. I guess there's more than one thing."

She took a deep breath and shook her head. "It scares me, dad."

"Are you worried for your friends?"

"No, dad, I'm worried about us, about David and me. I feel like with all those divorces going on around us we may be standing on quicksand and not know it. What if we don't make it?"

"Jules, divorce is not contagious. Your marriage succeeds or fails on its own."

"I know, but all those friends and coworkers of mine thought they would succeed and look at them now."

"What's really worrying you, Jules?"

"We've been married seven years, dad. You know what they say about the seven-year itch? What if David is getting bored with me? Between work and caring for him and the baby I'm tired all the time. What happens if he thinks I'm not exciting anymore?"

It was all I could do to keep a straight face. I knew my little girl was scared, but I also knew her David. For him, life, the Sun and the Earth all revolved around her. She was the center of everything he held dear. I knew her fears were all in her mind, or at least I hoped they were.

"Jules, there are two kinds of husbands in the world. There are the men who wonder what they're missing and look for something they don't have. They tell themselves, `Tonight I go to bed with the same woman I've slept with all these years. Nothing ever changes. Nothing is ever new.' Then there are the men who wonder how they could be so lucky and how they could deserve all that they have. They think, `She has slept with me every night of every year and she still thinks I'm worth it.' Do you remember the way that boy has always been in your life, year after year, from the time you were twelve? You even had other boyfriends, but when each of them disappeared David was always there. Now you tell me what kind of man David is?"

My daughter was smiling again. "He's the good kind."

"Yeah, he's the good kind."

"So, I should just stop worrying?"

"A little worry can be good for a marriage. It helps to focus the mind. Just don't ever let yourself doubt him. Tell him what's on your mind, and if you're worried about holding his attention, I suggest you find a way to make sure you have his attention."

"How do I do that?"

I looked at my daughter. "Ask your mother."

"Oh, that!" She was smiling now. "You don't think he'll be bored?"

"Surprise him. Give him a reason to pay attention."

She let the subject drop after that, or I thought she did. The worry had left her face and she was her usual self again.

Changing the subject, I pointed to the middle of the stream. "Now, I'm thinking there is a big old trout hunkered down just below that rock over there. What do you think it wants? What kind of fly will entice him out to play?"

"Well, if it's a male, it's been my experience that all you need to do is show him a little color and make it wiggle."

I looked at my innocent, if married, daughter with my eyes wide and mouth open.

"Close your mouth, old man, or you might catch a hook." My worried daughter was laughing again.

"Just where did you learn to talk like that, young lady?" I was showing mock surprise and trying desperately not to laugh.

"Dad, I'm a married woman now... Mom told me." She was giggling.

"Yes, well she would know. That woman does scare me sometimes." Shaking my head, I said "If she ever decides to use her power for evil instead of good..."

Julie was laughing out loud by this point.

"I don't think you have anything to worry about, dad. Mom knows that with great power comes great responsibility."

"You're sounding awfully confident all of a sudden."

"Just tend your line, old man."