Five Years and Four Days Ch. 00

It was nice and quiet in the Dark Room as I waited for Alex when I heard a knock on the door. I was puzzled, as most of the girls charge through, challenging the door to stay on its hinges. Liz Patterson peeked in.

"Oh, hello, Liz," I smiled at the Deputy Head.

"Ah! Jess -- I was hoping to find you here."

"Everything all right?"

"Well, not really," Liz said as she sat down at the work table, looking quite serious.

"Oh?"

"You remember when we chatted at the beginning of term -- how I said you ought to be more thoughtful about giving Alexandra Mak work?"

"Yes, I do," I replied, feeling suddenly very defensive.

"I've noticed that Alexandra has been spending a lot of her time here and the Sports Centre, mostly working on things for you."

"Have you?"

I was stalling. Had I been giving Alex a lot of work? She'd been so helpful, I didn't realise I'd been hogging her time.

"As you know, I oversee the prefects, and Alexandra's my A-A, so I have been chatting with her regularly to see how she has been getting along. As I predicted, she has a lot of her plate, but I found it notable that when she talks, she talks about swimming and photography."

"But talking a lot about two things is not the same as working too much on those two things, right?" My instincts told me I ought to stand down instead of challenging Liz, but something stoked my aggression.

Liz raised her eyebrows, "So you disagree that Alexandra, on balance, is predominantly focused on your particular disciplines?"

I suddenly found her insistence on calling Alex by her full name infuriating.

I tried to stay calm, "I don't think I can speak for Alex on what she focuses on. You'd have to ask her."

I could see that Liz was equally irritated with me. Her nostrils flared almost imperceptibly as she rose from her seat, "No, I don't think I need to. I can see very well for myself. I strongly encourage you to decrease your requests on Alexandra's time."

Before I could reply, she left. I sat there fuming.

Alex came in a few minutes later, with a smile that was almost bright enough to erase the bitterness of my conversation with Liz. I didn't want to get her into trouble, so decided there and then to start easing off on the time we spent together.

"How are you, Alex?"

Alex shrugged, "Not bad. Clash and I had to round up some second years earlier today. They had taken a rather loose interpretation of the concept of doing their prep."

I chuckled, "I'm sure you handled it with your usual charm."

"Charm is not the word I would use," Alex smiled, "I forgot how intimidating sixth formers could be to the younger girls. I think I almost made one cry."

"You? No. You are much too empathetic for that, it's something I've learned about you -- you may come across as this stern, serious person, but you are actually a big softie inside."

Alex narrowed her eyes at me, "Softie! No way."

She was smiling though, and I sensed she liked that I chided her a little.

"Oh - I ran into Miss Patterson on the way here, and she asked me to meet her in her office in 10 minutes. You wanted to talk about Saturday's match?" Alex asked.

I bristled at Liz's machinations; they seemed so petty. "Yes -- but I've since sorted it out -- sorry to have made you come all the way over for nothing."

"No complaints," Alex said, "I got to spend some time with you. Anything I can help with here? I can come back after my thing with Miss P."

I shook my head, "All under control."

Alex looked at me inquisitively, "Is everything ok?"

"Absolutely!" I said, happy that she sensed my ambivalence. I reluctantly turned to a set of forms I had set to the side earlier.

"Are you sure everything is ok?" She asked again.

I nodded and smiled at her. She stood up, grabbed her backpack and left, saying "Ok, I'll see you later."

I knew I was being unnecessarily dismissive, but I didn't want Alex to get on the bad side of Liz. I was happy to take the brunt of her displeasure, and I strongly felt that Alex should be spared whatever strange power play the Deputy Head was trying to pull.

ALEX

I felt someone jump onto my bed. I squinted at my watch: 7:30am.

"What the f-; Jesus, Clash, why did you do that? Go back to your room."

"Time to get up Mak," Clash bounced on the mattress, "I have something to show you."

I dove under my pillow, "it's not even 8 yet you wanker. What on earth is worth seeing at this time of day?"

"I'm leaving at 8, remember?" Clash tugged at my duvet, "Come on, my mother's waiting downstairs."

It was the morning of the start of the last short leave of term. My parents were not coming over to the UK, so I had a long weekend at school to look forward to. There were a couple other students in the same boat. Audrey got an invitation to stay with a friend from her house, which she was very excited about. I usually stayed with Clash's family for short leaves, but this time, they were headed to Scotland for a family wedding -- hence the early departure.

I wondered if Nurse Middleton drew the short straw to look after us stragglers again. She was a quite nice woman, but it was clear that she hated the idea of being responsible for the handful of us that stayed behind. Some people thought it was depressing to be left at school when everyone else had gone home, but I liked it. I was looking forward to having some alone time.

Clash pulled me into her room, which was its usual disaster area.

"Here you go," Clare handed me a medium sized box that looked like it had been hastily taped together.

Still grumpy that she had woken me, I slowly opened it up. Inside was a portable DVD player and a couple sizeable stacks of DVDs. I looked up at my friend, who was nodding knowingly.

"You have four whole days in this dump by yourself. You've been moping around for some reason, and I wish you'd tell me why. But now that you are going to fester in this self-pitying mental miasma all by yourself, I asked my mum to bring this stuff over so you can at least entertain yourself with some cheesy movies."

She was right. I had been moping around, mostly because Miss Wainwright had become distant and standoffish in the past several weeks. I couldn't figure out what happened. She was friendly enough, but went out of her way to spend as little time with me as possible.

I gave Clash a tight hug. "Thanks, Clash."

"Alex, what's going on? You just have not been yourself."

I felt tears stinging my eyes, "Nothing, it's stupid. Thanks for these. Much better than watching telly with Nurse Middleton."

Clash stared at me and sighed. "Mum's waiting downstairs. I still have to pack. Can you help me? You know I'm useless at it... and you are soooooo good at it."

I chuckled and nodded, "Flattery will get you everywhere, Clare Shepherd. Which of these formidable piles of clothing represents what you want to pack?"

Clash kicked at a pile by the door. I grabbed her duffle bag and systematically packed it all up.

"How did you do that?"

"Years of practice. And watching my anal retentive mother conquer suitcase challenges more horrifying than this."

Clash was quiet for a while before turning to me and saying, "Look, I can't force you to tell me what's going on. But you know you can tell me anything, right? I might not be able to help, but I promise you I won't judge. I hate seeing you like this."

I nodded, my eyes stinging again and my throat constricting my ability to reply. I grabbed her duffle bag, "Come on," I ground out through my teeth, "I'll help you bring this downstairs."

"You are a stubborn old cow, you know that?" Clash said as we walked into the entrance hall.

"And you are a persistent old nag," I responded.

Clash shook her head, "Ok, Mak. I give up. Just promise me this: I'm the one you call if you change your mind this weekend, ok? Me. I'm your person."

"And this is why I adore you. I promise." I gave her a quick hug.

Clash's mother helped us heave her bag into the trunk, and once they pulled out of the school gates, I headed back to my room, hoping to grab a little more sleep.

"Good morning, Alexandra," a voice said behind me.

I turned to see Miss Patterson walking in.

"Alexandra, I think you are staying put for short leave, yes?"

I nodded, a little embarrassed that I was still in my pajamas.

"Are you up to doing some A-A work with me this weekend?"

"Sure!" I've always got along with Miss P, and felt really chuffed when she offered me to be her A-A that year.

Miss Patterson smiled, "Super. Why don't you swing by my office around 11?"

JESS

I pulled into the school parking lot just before lunch, happy to be at Halsey during a school break. It was a welcomed change from the barely-contained chaos of 400 girls running around at breakneck speed. I couldn't believe we were already three quarters of the way through the school term.

I was mentally planning out how to prep the Assembly Hall for our end of year photography exhibition. Our first ever showing. I managed to garner enough interest from the girls to put together prints from some pretty impressive projects. At first, I wasn't sure there'd be enough time, but the girls' enthusiasm was enough to convince me that it was worth doing.

I met Cathy in the staff dining room for lunch; she was in to supervise some equipment installation at the Sports Centre. I suspected that she was also enjoying being on campus without the girls.

"Jules is taking the long weekend off as well," Cathy said, "We were thinking of heading into London to take in a show or something. Do you want to come?"

I shook my head, "Would love to, but I have to get things ready for the photo exhibit."

"Understood," Cathy nodded, "come on, let's get on with it."

We strolled out towards the front of the school. As we walked past Liz Patterson's office, I glanced in and saw Alex in there, working with her on something.

"Wait, what?" I muttered as I slowed my steps.

Cathy turned to look. She raised her eyebrows.

"What's Alex doing in there?" I felt instantly indignant.

Cathy shrugged, "Probably some work with Liz, I reckon."

Just at that moment, Alex lifted her head and saw me. She raised her hand and waved. I waved back. Liz looked out and saw me, and I swore she smirked.

I smiled at Alex, ignored Liz, and continued walking.

"Liz smirked at me." I whispered to Cathy.

Cathy chuckled, "Yes, she did."

"This is Alex's short leave! Why on earth is she trapped in that woman's office on her short leave?" I was feeling quite cross now, "why are you laughing?"

"I am finding it surprisingly amusing that you and Liz are locking horns."

"She's the one who told me to be thoughtful about Alex's time. And I have. Now she's got Alex working on a school break? Come on, Cathy, you agree it's off side, right?"

Cathy could barely contain her smile, "Not my battle to fight, Jess. But you better suit up."

I stopped walking, "What are you on about?"

"Remember when I said Liz would be fine unless she thinks you are a threat?"

I nodded, not really following.

"Well, now you are a threat. Before you came along, Alex was her go-to student for everything. Look at all the stuff Alex does with her. They get along very well. Then you turn up, and well, you know what I think about how Alex feels about you."

"Just hold on a second. Liz Patterson is jealous of the time Alex and I spend together?"

Cathy shrugged.

"So you think that Liz told me to back off because she doesn't want Alex spending time with me? What a load of rubbish! I'm not forcing Alex to choose me over Liz."

Cathy laughed again, "I am not saying you are. But whether Liz thinks you are is quite another matter. It's got nothing to do with your actions, and everything to do with territory. Liz thinks Alex is her territory."

"We'll see about that."

Cathy cackled, "Oooh, I'm going to enjoy watching this unfold..."

ALEX

"Do you think the fifth formers are up for general differentiation?" I asked Miss Patterson as we finished up the exam outline for the end of term.

"Well, we've only just started on curve equations and co-ordinate geometry, so it might be a bit of a stretch, but we can throw it in as a bonus question. A handful of them will catch on. Will be a good indicator of those ready for the A-Level syllabus."

"I think we are done then," I smiled, pleased with how quickly we finished up the outline.

"Very good work, Alexandra. Not that I am at all surprised!" Miss Patterson beamed at me.

A movement in the hallway caught my eye. I looked up and saw Miss Wainwright walking past. I waved. She waved back, to my delight.

"I wonder what Miss Wainwright is doing at school today," Miss Patterson asked as Miss Wainwright walked away.

"Probably prepping for the photo exhibit," I said without thinking.

Miss Patterson raised her eyebrows, "Oh? Are you involved with that?"

I shrugged, "I offered to help, but she said she was fine doing it on her own."

"Quite right! You've got enough going on, that's what I told her. Probably for the best," Miss Patterson said.

"Sorry, you told her I had too much going on to help with the photography exhibit?" My head felt foggy.

Miss Patterson patted me on the shoulder, "I know you, Alexandra, you are too nice to say no. I just told Miss Wainwright to be a little more considerate of your time."

"Thanks for thinking of me, Miss Patterson, but I think I've been doing fine." I was trying to stay calm.

"I'm very pleased to hear that -- but trust me on this one, ok? It's your last year, focus on your academics. Don't get distracted by too many extra-curriculars."

I nodded robotically.

"Got it," I tried to smile. "I'm going to go get a bite to eat now, if that's ok?"

Miss Patterson smiled, "Oh, of course. Thank you for all your help, Alexandra!"

I threw my stuff into my backpack and left. I had never felt so much anger and happiness all at once. I've finally figured out what's been going on with Miss Wainwright. I headed straight for the assembly hall.

I blew through the doors, and looked around for signs of her.

There was a pile of square columns lying horizontally on the floor. I started standing them up and arranging them around the hall.

"I thought I heard somebody," her voice drifted down from the second floor gallery.

"Hello," I said, "what are you doing up there?"

"Be down in a mo," she shouted as she disappeared from view.

When Miss Wainwright came through the doors and saw the columns I had arranged, she smiled, "You read my mind, Alex Mak, look!"

She showed me the piece of paper she had in her hand. She had drawn an aerial view of the assembly hall, and sketched out where she wanted the columns to be. Except for the two that I placed on the north end of the hall, I pretty much nailed her drawing.

I held up my palm and she high-fived me. "Great minds think alike," I said.

"You all done with Miss Patterson?" Miss Wainwright asked.

I grunted, "Yeah, in more ways than one."

She raised her eyebrows.

"Did she tell you to be more considerate of my time?" I asked directly.

Miss Wainwright sighed, "Well, not in so many words, but yes. She thought you were spending too much time on swimming and photography, and not enough time on, say, prefect duties and academics."

I was livid, "Well, it's not up to her."

"Alex, this is a hornets' nest. Don't kick it."

"Is this why you've been avoiding me?" Tears were brimming to the surface now, and I was trying very hard to suppress them.

Miss Wainwright looked right into my eyes, "I wanted to respect the Deputy Head, and I did not want to unintentionally cause trouble and mar your last year here. So I gave you some space."

"But I don't want space from you," I said, losing control of my voice. The honesty of my statement shocked me.

I suddenly felt like I'd said too much, but Miss Wainwright did not look away; her green eyes were gentle.

"I don't want space from you either," Miss Wainwright responded, offering me a tissue. My heart swelled at her words, my tear ducts slowly came back under control.

"It's not. Up. To. Her." I repeated. Miss Wainwright gave me a friendly squeeze around the shoulder.

"D'you know what?" She asked brightly.

I looked at her, "what?"

"You are absolutely right. You should spend your time however you want. I'll make a deal with you -- we go back to how things were and I will check in with you every week on how you are doing, and you will be honest and let me know if things are piling up too much. Deal?"

I nodded, "Deal."

"Meet me here tomorrow and we can finish up the prep work?"

I nodded again, smiling widely now, "What about Miss Patterson?"

"Well, we'll just treat this as a need-to-know type situation. And, she--"

"Doesn't need to know," I finished, grinning.

JESS

I had not realised how upset I'd been over Liz's passive-aggressive imposition on my time with Alex until we reverted to spending time together again. Alex diplomatically continued working on Liz's projects for her, but was probably more guarded in terms of what she shared with the Deputy Head.

We had a spectacular winter swimming season, a great number of school records fell -- mostly due to Alex's efforts. The photography exhibition was a huge success, enough for some of the parents to ask if photography would be added as an optional course in the arts curriculum.

With the end of term was fast approaching, I was in the Dark Room, doing a final clean up. I suddenly heard someone rapping on the window. I turned to see Alex on the other side of it, motioning for me to let her in. I obliged, and she lithely climbed through, dropping lightly into the workroom.

"What an unusual way to make your entrance."

"I saw you coming here when I was in Physics, so I thought I'd pop by to say hi. But I ran into Miss Patterson outside, so I had to walk past like I wasn't coming in. I doubled back behind the Music Building."

"You are a nut, you know that?"

Alex grinned, "You mean normal rational people don't climb through windows just to see you?"

"No, come to think of it, you are the only one."

Since our mutual agreement to blatantly ignore Liz's preferences on how Alex should spend her time, Alex's banter with me slowly grew in playfulness, or maybe I had started to be more aware of it. I wouldn't say she was being inappropriate, but we certainly interacted more like friends than a teacher and student. My ego certainly wasn't worse for wear, and I felt little need to engage in a more arm's length relationship with her; Alex would be moving on to university life in just a little more than half a year. So I took it for what it appeared to be: two people who just got along really, really well.

Cathy's hypothesis on Liz's issues with me turned out to be right on the money. My relationship with Liz had become a little icier, but Alex's company was well worth the office politics. She had returned to her habit of showing up -- always right when I had the time -- and us hanging out and eventually putting our heads together to get some work done.

"Well, now that you are here, go clean out the chemicals and help me dispose of them properly."

"Isn't it illegal to use child labour in this country?" Alex mocked.

"Yes, so is corporal punishment, but give me more cheek and I'll..." I attempted to swat her across her back with a ruler.

Alex dodged me, giggling, "Face it lady, I'm younger and faster!"

I knew instantly which movie she was quoting. "How do you know Fried Green Tomatoes?"

"I think I watched it on a flight," Alex replied, "cried like a baby when Ruth died."

She paused for a moment, and looked as if she was about to say something else but caught the words before they left her mouth.

"What?"

She shook her head, "Nothing -- all right, off I go to inhale toxic fumes," and she ducked into the Dark Room.