Flames Ch. 04

Here's the conclusion to the story of Erin. I originally wasn't going to write a conclusion, but I had a little spare time during summer so here it is! Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It would help if you read the parts before this, but it's not completely necessary. There will just be some small holes missing.

I couldn't sleep the whole night. It had been about a month since the events at the library and the thing that had kept my mind up that night was the same thing that had me sleeping fitfully for quite a while. I was falling in love with Erin and I still don't know why that bothered me so much. It was rather strange because I was overjoyed that I was actually developing deep feelings for a girl, but there was still some things bugging me. Did she feel the same way? Was I really feeling that way or was the sex just getting to my head? Was a serious relationship really what I wanted at this point in my life? So on and so forth. These questions kept hitting me like a light drizzle of softball-sized hail.

My eyes were closed but I could almost feel her gaze on me. She told me she would only ever leave the bed if I was snoring so she could gauge how much noise she could make and how much she could shift around before I woke up. My guess is, she was waiting for me to start snoring before she got out. I kinda had to go to the bathroom so I pretended that I just woke up and let her go to the bathroom first then went in after she got back into bed. I made sure to shake off thoroughly because it was pretty much guaranteed we were going to have sex. Pretty much every night we spent together, we had sex, which was basically every night she wasn't on her period. We would also do it in the morning before we went to class. It sounds like I'm complaining, but I assure you I'm not. I only had two girlfriends before Erin who I had sex with more than once. Both of them would have sex with me at most 3 times a week. You would expect those three times to be awesome, but it always felt like they both just wanted to get it over with.

It was different with Erin. I got the feeling that she enjoyedmemore than she enjoyed sex. I got back into bed. Of course, we were both naked because of the night before. Erin wasted no time in cuddling up to me. She squeezed her leg between mine and moved it upward to make contact with my penis.

The soft skin on her thigh felt amazing and soon my fully erect member was aching for a little more. But, in typical Erin fashion, she took her time. It was a Sunday morning after all. Why rush? She kissed me lightly, only giving me occasional hints of tongue. It was maddening but in the best way possible. Regardless of how much she teased me, I always remained patient because I knew it would pay off in the end, especially when we weren't in a rush.

It was things like that that made me wonder why I was so hesitant about falling in love with her. She was clearly the most amazing woman I had ever been with, if not the most amazing woman I had ever met. She treated me as an equal in the sense that she was neither generally submissive nor controlling. She called out my bullshit and let me call out hers. Even though I felt below her on so many levels, she always made me feel like I was on her level at all times. That, no offense to my female readers, is a quality that not many women I'd met have. Erin crashed my train of thoughts when she stopped moving.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, why?" I lied.

"You seem distracted."

"I'm just tired."

She looked down at my very erect penis. "Really now?" she grinned.

"Just parts of me. That thing can never get tired of you." I put my musings aside. My primitive brain started to take over my body.

She surprised me by grabbing my penis and sliding it into her. This wasn't the first time I she had let me in without protection. It was always just for a quick dip though. Neither of us could afford the time for a pregnancy not to mention we both had to finish college first and had plans for grad school. So, I was always cautiously appreciative with just a quick dip. It was an amazing respite from the restrictive condoms. There was also a concern about STD's, but we mutually agreed to get tested after we got a little too hump-happy one night and my penis ended up in her without protection.Thatwas the first time without a condom, but thankfully not the last.

"So, I was going to wait another week to tell you this, but I can't wait any longer. I went to see my gynecologist two weeks ago and I told her that I'd been sexually active. So, she suggested I started taking the pill. I agreed." She smiled wide. I smiled wide too. I still had my doubts in the effectiveness of birth control. A few of my friends got pregnant even though they were on birth control. That being said, they admitted they missed a day or two or sometimes didn't take their pill on time. I doubted Erin would make those mistakes.

I scooted in closer to her and felt my penis go deeper into her. She inhaled quietly, a subtle sign that she was enjoying the sensation, but I knew she wasn't enjoying it nearly as much as I was. She put her leg over my hip then pushed me onto my back so she could get on top of me. All that time, she never let me out of her. Then, she began moving her hips up and down really slowly. The motion was subtle but effective. It was an intense experience to the head of my penis. I shuddered as it got more sensitive and she leaned down and placed her lips onto mine. She held a light kiss while her breathing got faster. Although she wasn't moving a lot, this position seemed to be putting quite a strain on her. I could feel her abs contracting, becoming rock hard as she pulled her hips down and forward, then relaxing as she raised them.

Already I could feel her back getting slick with sweat and I started feeling like I should've been doing more work. When I tried to roll her over, with her lips still attached to mine, she shook her head and let out a small moan in protest.

In all that time, I had been ignoring just how amazing it felt to be in her without a condom. I became aware of the new sensations. The ridges running against my frenulum, the intense heat of her core, the slight contractions of her inner muscles. That awareness quickly drove me to the edge and I tried to announce that I was cumming. The words wouldn't come out though. The experience was too intense and all I could let out was a strained groan. Erin continued at the same pace, justifiably unconcerned about my impending orgasm.

It hit me with the force of a freight train. The buildup to the peak was long and all I could do in that short time was contract my abs and hold my breath. Then, I hit the peak and the hyper-sensitivity immediately set in. I shuddered as the ridges and folds in her vagina ran over my overly sensitive glans. It became too intense way too quick and I had to pull out.

Erin pulled her mouth away from mine and then stared into my eyes. My mind was filled with post-orgasmic fog and disbelief that I had just cum in her. It was amazing! It was like I had just had sex for the first time, except this felt a lot better. There was also something else I felt. This was a big stepping stone in mine and Erin's relationship. This made me feel so much more attached to her, and so much more in love with her.I am in love!I thought, and this time it was certain. It was like a gong going off in my head. It was certain, there was no hesitation. There was nowhy, there was just love. The elation attached to the epiphany took over, so I couldn't have possibly stopped myself from saying, "Oh god! Erin, I love you."

Her eyes went wide and her mouth opened in what I hoped was amazement rather than shock.

It's very hard to come back from one of those verbal expulsions but I did my best after seeing disbelief in her eyes.

"You don't have to say it, in fact, forgetIever said it. I'm so sorry, my timing was terrible-"

She cut me off in a calm, flat voice. "We can talk about this later. Just don't worry about it." That response was typically feminine. It had no tone, no hint as to what was about to happen, nothing. It was as vague as the meaning of existence. I wanted a reaction out of her, whether it was good or bad didn't matter. But, she had made up her mind. She just wasn't going to let me know what she thought.

"Okay," I said calmly, betraying the hurricane of thoughts going on inside my head.

She kissed me lightly again and then got off me to lay down at my side. I turned over. She turned her head upward and presented her slender neck to me. I kissed it gladly and delighted in the soft moan I received. She took one of my hands and placed it on her lower belly. I took the hint and let my hand travel south. She had grown a little bush which I found to be a lot more appealing than a clean shave. My fingers ran through the crisp, short hairs before venturing downwards until they met the telltale soft-as-a-cloud flesh of her outer labia. I slid my index finger past her clit and into the wetness below. I knew that very little of that fluid was mine because I had cum twice the night before. There's only so much semen a man can produce. I dipped my finger in deeper and started massaging her G-spot. She snaked a hand down her body and lightly rubbed the very tip of her clit. Her muscles contracted in response then relaxed as she found a steady rhythm on her clit.

It was physically impossible for me not to get hard while watching her creep towards orgasm. It was going to take a while though seeing as I had over-exerted my poor member throughout the weekend. Thankfully I had plenty of time. Over the weeks, it took her longer and longer to get to orgasm, but the reward was that her orgasms got stronger and stronger. The night before, she came so hard her abs and thighs cramped up. She burst out laughing after the cramp passed and playfully slapped my chest for rubbing her clit after she became hyper-sensitive.

"A little harder," she said, her eyes lightly closed in concentration. I pushed up harder against her G-spot as per her order and got a satisfactory sigh out of her. Then, I alternated between a firm push up against her G-spot and a deep dip in. I knew she liked that. Soon, she was slowly pumping her hips up and down. Her breathing got faster but she was still quiet.

Abruptly, she stopped, opened her eyes, and looked over at me. "Are you ready?" Her eyes darted down and she frowned. I wasn't hard yet, but, she quickly fixed that by cuddling up to me and using her thigh to get me hard again. When she saw that I was hard enough, she turned onto her belly and raised her hips. Without hesitation, I got up and slid into her pussy with deliberation. As her warmth enveloped me again it took all my will power to not go all-out.

She moaned appreciatively and then said, "Come closer."

It took a few seconds to figure out what she was asking for. I lowered my body onto hers so I basically covered her. I tried to keep most of my weight off her but it was an awkward position to say the least. She took one of my hands, put the back of it close to her mouth and gave it a soft kiss.

"I love you too," she said quietly but with conviction. I knew she believed it, but I also knew that she was afraid, afraid just like me. The words hit me and I instantly tried to get off of her to kiss her but she stopped me with a gentle tug to my hand. "No babe." She raised her hips to signify she wanted to me to continue, so I did.

This time, we weren't having sex. We were makinglove.Sure, it may have looked no different, but it felt different because, for the first time, we were truly naked. Both of us let go of our fears and completely opened up to each other. It was a euphoric sensation, like an orgasm for the soul, and I could tell Erin felt it too. She still gripped my hand while her other hand made its way between her legs. I was still slowly pumping when I felt her fingernail lightly scrape against the bottom of my penis. She quickly caressed my balls then her hands disappeared, presumably to rub her clit.

I don't know how much time passed after she said the magic words but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Erin was right there. I got off her and gently turned her over. I looked into her eyes for the first time since she said she loved me and saw that she wasn't the same. Her eyes were a darker green and her pupils opened wider. There was almost a sadness in them and that took me by surprise. "Erin, are you okay?"

She closed her eyes and looked away. I pulled her head gently so I could see her face again. There were tears forming.

"What's wrong?" I asked with desperation. Maybe she didn't feel the same way I did. Maybe there was no conviction, maybe there was no orgasm for her soul, maybe she didn't open up. In a moment, all the doubts that I had about my relationship with her, that I buried weeks before, explosively surfaced. Panic clung to my nerves.

"I can't do this right now. I'm really sorry." She shuffled out from under me, now sobbing. She put on her underwear and clothes quickly and grabbed her purse. She started towards the bedroom door. I was shocked into inaction and I couldn't do anything to stop her. All I did was just sit on the edge of the bed and watch her walk out. The sound of her car's starter motor pierced through my shock and I quickly put on a pair of boxers and ran out of the apartment. She had already backed out the parking lot and was pulling away from the complex. There was nothing I could do, and I didn't want to be another idiot running after a car in his underwear. I walked back into the apartment and laid down on the couch, my mind swarming with questions and doubts. "What the fuck just happened?" I asked the ceiling. It certainly had more of an idea than I did.

A week passed and I still hadn't heard from Erin. I was extremely upset, but not upset enough to lose my mind. I didn't call her nor did I stalk her. I kept my distance from her, both physically and mentally. Physically, it was easy because she didn't attend the one class we had together for the whole week. I watched the door with my peripheral vision but I never saw the beautiful redhead.

Mentally, it was tough. Pretty much everywhere I went held a memory of her. The mystery of her breakdown made it that much harder because it made me wonder why she walked out like that.

But, life had to go on. By Saturday, I was feeling a little better. Erin was still in my mind most of the time but I spared less brainpower on her. I figured if she wanted to talk, she would call me and all I could do was be patient. In light of that, I invited a few of my friends over to play video games. I promised them alcohol and pizza so they dropped everything they were doing and rushed to my door. College students can be so predictable.

The night was going great. The 4 of us had already finished a 12-pack and were starting to work on the next one. The pizza was a few minutes overdue which left all of us a little more than annoyed. Thankfully we had the distraction of Halo.

There was a knock at the door which I assumed was the pizza delivery guy. I'm glad that when I opened the door, there wasn't a slightly overweight delivery driver with an ugly hat and a black uniform. It was Erin in a bright blue shirt and black shorts. Her green eyes still showed the same sadness they showed the weekend before and I could tell she had been crying. She bit her lip and looked down to the floor.

I told my friends to continue without me then walked out and closed the door behind me muffling a shout: "Where's the fucking pizza!?". I would've taken her into my room, but I got the feeling that she didn't want to be seen by my friends in her current state.

"You didn't call," she said the moment the door closed. Her voice broke.

"Neither did you," I replied, trying my best not to sound angry. It didn't work.

"I know. I'm sorry." She was still looking at the floor. Then, she quietly broke into tears.

Without thinking, I put my arms around her and held her tight. I didn't know what was wrong, and as much as I wanted to know, I wanted to stop the tears more. Someone as beautiful and lively as Erin should never be in that state. A feeling of helplessness came over me. If I couldn't keep tears from her eyes, was I worthy of her at all? Erin interrupted my thoughts.

"Can we take a walk?" she asked between sobs.

I released one of my arms and started walking towards the apartment pool. I figured no one would be there and the lack of splashing sounds when we got close proved my theory.

We walked into the pool area and laid down together on a reclining beach chair

After a long silence, she spoke.

"My gynecologist didn't recommend the pill," she said quietly. I looked over at her but she was content at looking up at the dark sky. "I.. I can't get pregnant." A new wave of tears washed over her and I held her tightly. "I'm not saying that I want to have a baby with you right now and I don't know if I will want to in the future. It's just, I didn't.. Why would you want a girl who is.. broken?" That struck my core. Whether or not I could have kids with her didn't matter, even if we did end up spending the rest of our lives together. I never correlated the quality of a woman with her baby-making abilities. That was sick and cruel, and based on how she felt about that, someone else had told her that she was less of a woman because she couldn't have babies.

But then I realized I was no better than that person. The week that we spent apart with me refusing to call or text her was the one week that we trulyneededto be together. Or maybe she didn't need me there. She was strong enough to pull through hearing the news, strong enough to be the shining light in my life for so many weeks, strong enough to go so long believing she was broken and, yet, be able to put on a smile so beautiful it made my knees week.

I realized then that I didn't just love her, no, this was more thanjustlove. As much as I loved her, I respected her more. If I had been told my little guys couldn't get a girl pregnant, I wouldn't have been able to function, never mind smile.

"I shouldn't have come. I'm so sorry," she said. Her eyes showed something that I hoped I would never see again: fear, fear that I would let her walk away from me. She shifted to get off the chair.

"I love you," was all I could say before I pulled her back to me and kiss her. For a moment, she seemed shocked, but then she kissed back with intensity.

When we finally broke apart, I looked at her. Her eyes were closed and they leaked new tears.

"I love you too," she said, this time with her voice stronger. She still hadn't opened her eyes.

"Erin, open your eyes," I said calmly. She opened her eyes and glanced at my eyes but looked away quickly. I put my hand on her cheek to calm her down and make her meet my gaze. "Erin, you are not broken, far from it. You are the strongest, most amazing woman I have ever met. Don't letanyonemake you believe otherwise."

A genuine smile slowly appeared on her face. She coughed as a sob met with a laugh in her throat.

She leaned in to kiss me again and I happily obliged. A wave of arousal hit both of us. She jumped on top of me and straddled my hips. Her mound ground into the growing lump on my jeans. The heat emanating off it took me to a whole new level of horniness.

Then, we heard footsteps close by. A father and his little girl were walking by the pool and they both saw us. The father covered his daughter's eyes then rushed her along while giving us an angry look. Erin and I watched them as they disappeared from our sight, then caught each other's eyes and burst out laughing.