Flapper Dick Ch. 06

Really don't have anything to say this time so I won't make you read through bunches of stuff before the story. Yes I know I am doing that stop saying such horrible things, I can hear you. I mean good grief do you actually kiss your mom with that mouth?

Mom taught you say that really? Come on that is baloney moms don't talk like that, it is a lot of doohickey and thingamajig not words like that, sheesh can't even wait for me to stop typing stuff.

I'll have you know that isn't even physically possible, and if it is no woman would let you do that to her, probably won't ever have a woman let you do anything anyway. Honestly if I have to explain why not you would never understand. Oh fine yes here is the story, and I will get you to run away, oh yes I will.

Oh shoot I do actually have something to say this time. Ha I got you, you thought it was all over and here I am back again. Yes I am that sort of evil bitch, live with it. Dang, I forgot what I was going to say. Look at that just because you have to look like that I went off on a tangent and forgot what I was going to say.

Wait, no I didn't. I delayed you twice now, this is great. Oh shoot I forgot what I was going to say again. Look at what you made me do. Ha, and ha, because I got you a third time on the delay. I was going to mention that any time a woman says she may not be able to get pregnant, or says I won't be, and so forth, 99% of the time, she ends up knocked up.

Disclaimer: About 50% of that 99% is actually malarkey so it's not a given, though seems to be if you happen to be the woman saying it. Not me before you dorks start thinking that, I got tested. Which means I can say I won't until I am blue in the face, only works on those who are not tested as unable.

Oh good grief, make that face in a mirror, that is really revolting.

**

Wake to banging on the door, along with Fred waking so I roll over. Fall out of bed again so I am groaning and Fred is getting up to get in his robe. I get up and check out the clock to find it is only nine in the morning. Yawn on the way to the door and open to find our nanny standing there looking worried.

"Sorry I woke you, I got evicted." Just blink at her dumbly for a bit.

"What?" She sighs and pushes me out the way, there are fellas coming in with things.

"I got evicted, so to speak. Mr. Capone came to the bordello and he was asking me if I really want to stop working there and be your nanny along with making skirts and such for the store. I said I did and he said good because they found a replacement for me. So I met her, and she is blonde with good sized bubs so a good replacement. I showed her how to do the different things and made sure she knew to ask anyone else if she is confused, then I am being ushered out with my clothes." Nod then notice a fella coming in with rolls of cloth.

"So where did all this come from?"

"Sort of a severance package. You also can use it to design new things, like a better jacket." I am frowning now since my jacket is nice.

"What is wrong with my jacket?"

"Your suits are very nice but the jacket is too like a fella. Most of us won't be carrying around a pistol and no purse. So new design of the jacket, perhaps even more of a vest so bare armed jackets. Our librarian remembers something like that being worn. While back so definitely not made anymore but if you can make a good one."

"Librarians will buy that, and perhaps teachers so they would be more like the fellas."

"Precisely, and do you remember my name?" Shake my head and turn red, she is just giggling.

"Audrey. I don't remember sharing when we met though Giovanni likes to say your name so I know that."

"The big lug is Fred, and honest if you want to get a turn with him, ask. I've found if you suck on him he will rise to attention so if there is not a nookie shower drop to your knees and have fun." She is giggling pretty good then Fred is there.

"I'd ask what she said though I don't really want to know. I am curious on why all this stuff."

"Severance package sort of, partly this cloth is here so I can make things for the store, and Betty can come up with new things."

"Seems the librarian remembers a jacket that had no arms so it was more of a vest. She wants one like that, which I can do and then she had a good point, most skirts won't have a pistol or not carry a purse." Fred snorts and shakes his head.

"You sent over the design of your suit though didn't you?" I am nodding since I did, sort of.

"I gave them the additions to the basic form for a specific size. Mostly that is for the shirt, but then with a jacket not like a fellas I can simply make it simpler, since pockets are needed for hands at most, everything else goes in purse."

"Is it alright to put this cloth under the table?" One of the fellas asks so I am nodding.

"Under the table or leaning against the wall. Dust will come off when we are cutting and putting together."

Fella nods then he is going past, so I am watching that. Two more trips for both fellas with rolls of cloth. Then they are bringing in a sewing machine and Fred takes over. Mostly because he set up mine, and there is some moving of mine to make room for a second. I direct that since there needs to be plenty of space between them.

Also a brand new sewing machine, the more expensive one like I had told Giovanni to buy. Some arranging of things after, they stacked a bunch of rolls on the table. Also bring in two travel bags, that look a bit on the full side. Those are for Audrey, her clothes and such things so I am shoved to show her where everything is upstairs, grumble a little but do take her.

She likes the rooms and after a test we find the bed is alright but a new would be good. Then to the bathroom for her things, mostly just a brush. She does have lipstick, and it's more than just red. I bought red and then don't wear it much.

"A shower only?"

"Bath is downstairs. When I moved in this room only had a sink and toilet."

"Put that way a shower isn't so bad. Do you have the fixings for me too?" I nod and then frown since it does put us a little close, it is about time to go shopping for more.

"We need to go shopping today, about time to do that anyway so not your fault. You have dough?" Audrey rolls her eyes and nods.

"I have a goodly amount and then I will get more for doing the clothes for the store. Kelly is saying another week so there is a goodly amount."

"Good, you have bad timing since I was a waitress last night. Don't worry I will simply stay home today. We have a radio and some books, not to mention magazines."

"What about Fred?"

"He went back to bed. He has to go in tonight. I'm an extra waitress because I am a dick and can handle investigations on my own."

"I almost want to ask if I can help." Snort then shrug.

"Honestly you could, don't need a license to help me. Unless we are looking for a fella who beat on and forced a skirt. For that we will want a fella or two." Audrey is nodding.

"I remember the article on when you got court appointed. Is the store an ankle?" Shake my head.

"Closest one is seven miles. I want to see about berries, we are out of apples and I don't want to make a cake."

"Don't we need Fred?" Shake my head.

"I got a breezer, and a tarp for it so in winter it is tarp covered."

"Why is it yellow?" Sigh and shake my head.

"No idea, the bulls picked it out with the stolen dough we had just gotten from the crew that shot at us in a diner."

Audrey whimpers then ushers me out so back downstairs and in the bedroom. Fred did go back to sleep so I go give him a kiss and mention as how going shopping. He mutters something so I go get in my suit, with the silk hat for it. Out to my breezer and then don't go anywhere our neighbor is coming.

"This is new." She is grinning in the back seat.

"I wanted to ask on all the stuff taken in to your place and I want to see about more berries."

"Don't want to make a cake either?" Audrey asks and there is giggling in my breezer.

"I've never made a cake. If no fruits to make pie with I guess I'll see about making a cobbler, it's not bad with a good amount of cinnamon and sugar."

This sounds rather good to me, so get us on the way. Get us to the grocery and we get out, and a conversation strikes up that makes me turn red.

"I'm not going to be like this one so what is your name?" Audrey snorts and winks.

"My name is Audrey and I'm almost as bad, I used to work in a bordello and moved in to be her nanny. I am also going to learn how to be a tailor."

"Oh that sounds good, and if I had any aspirations to do anything besides be a wife I would have wanted a nanny. Since you probably won't ask either my name is Elizabeth, though most call me Liza." Groan and put my arm around her.

"My condolences on the nickname, at first I was going to be Bethy but didn't like and they listened." Liza is giggling and shakes her head.

"I liked it, it's also not what everyone else is called with our name. Betty is popular for a shortening, I've heard it's been used as the full name even." All three of us make a face at that then we split up a little.

At first it's easy, we get the spices I am low on, and add one since Audrey knows other recipes. I'm unsure on that though since she is calling it spicy. It is also chili and I have enjoyed that before so I am allowing the addition for now. Get a bunch of eggs, and onions. Find berries so drop four boxes in the cart so we can make a good pie and have more after.

Move on then move back to add one more, Audrey wants strawberries. She is relating a rather good sounding topping for an angel food cake. Does mean we have to get the cake flower so that isn't precisely good. But at least I have a cake maker, which Audrey points out. I end up grinning over to the meats where we add in a bunch of bacon, and sausage for breakfast.

Roasts and chicken are popular choices with Audrey. Also get steaks, a whole six this time so we can do steak dinner twice. Meet up with Liza at the register, since she is paying for her selections just ahead of us. Out to my breezer and we even manage to fit everything in the trunk, color me surprised since we all got a bunch.

"Where is a drug store?" I am looking at Audrey a little surprised but do know where one is.

"I know where there is one, I had an apartment across the street from one." Liza is giggling.

"I know that one, go there myself. Why are we going to that?" Audrey turns red.

"I need to get more kotex pads." I am nodding and move to turn on my breezer then completely forget about what I am doing, something rather profound struck me.

"I use those too, and I seem to be not needing them for a while." Silence in the breezer for a bit then I am getting hugged.

"Great news, unless you are skipping." Audrey on the other hand is tossing her hands.

"Great, I am thinking I can have some time to get some training in and getting nookie, and you have to be in need of a nanny." Liza and I are looking at Audrey then we are both giggling.

"You do realize that right now all we have is I am missing a monthlies." Audrey winks.

"Got you to forget that you are freaking out. So when can we know?" We both look at Liza who is looking up and whistling so poke at her.

"Alright, alright. If you are not missing any day really. I will also mention that whenever you have the sickness come on you can't eat and probably will want to. Walking perhaps will be tough on you." I have nothing to say for a moment.

"What?" Liza is giggling.

"Honest I am not kidding. I have been getting up early morning to make him breakfast since we got married. When I ended up like you perhaps are and that came on, he went to the station hungry for a while. Month and a half I think because I couldn't cook. You are lucky in your nanny can keep Fred fed when it comes on and you are normally eating."

"I want to know more on the tough to walk part."

"Oh that, see what it's like is you ate something bad and it wants to come out. I had it in the morning, though my sister, she lives in Detroit, she had it around noon. So when it is a bad case of that, which is more or less all of them, walking can make it worse. I sat down and read until it went away then made up food. We should ask in the drug store, perhaps there is something to buy to help."

Off to the drug store where I just go right over to the register since the fella is there. He smiles at me so smile back but I perhaps am going to have a problem.

"No idea if I am or not, but seems that I am knocked up and my neighbor says that I should ask if there is any better remedy than reading while I have morning sickness." The fella grins now.

"My condolences and congratulations if you are. Little secret, not all skirts have that problem. As for something to help, honestly I don't know though I have heard eating soda crackers helps. We have packages of those in the back if you would like to stock up. Even if you don't, they are good with slices of cheese." Snort since Mom would have those around to snack on for me.

"I know on that, I grew up having Saltines and cheese snacks." He is grinning then Liza grabs my arm and pulls me into the back.

There are a whole four brands of soda crackers so look at each one. All seem to be the same basic thing so just grab the Saltines package. Liza looks a little jealous then hands me a second box. Audrey is easy to find, she has collected two packages of kotex and has gone to the register already. Catch up and get the two boxes bought with Liza getting a box of aspirin.

Back out to the breezer and we are off to home. Perhaps bought too much since we can't carry all of the bags, any of us. So we do runs, and get slowed down by the door. Have to put the bags down and pull out the keys to unlock the door. Into the house with us finally and find Fred standing there on the phone, taking notes.

Audrey nudges on me so go back outside and we get the rest of the bags. Then back inside to squeeze past Fred in the hallway, he seems to be done with the phone. Fred has big eyebrows at the things we bring in so follows along to the kitchen. He sits and Audrey is looking at Fred more than anything else so goose her and get to work with putting things away.

Get help on that so we get everything put away. Audrey is going through the cabinets to see where everything is. She also says she is checking on where I put everything which is wrong, I only ever cared on the pans and pots. Audrey being more into the cooking everything under the sun I join Fred at the table and stare at him.

"Is there a reason for those boxes of Saltines?" Sigh and look down to turn red, and can't find the words.

"Betty is supposed to be having monthlies." Audrey says for me, and Fred just stares, then his jaw drops.

"As in all we had to do is have you be my horse?" I am nodding and Fred is laughing, so kick him.

"Not really something to be laughing about." Fred is still laughing, then says horse again and I am laughing.

"Betty I think you got a message since Fred is working tonight." Fred snorts and shakes his head, I am looking at the notes and one thing strikes me.

"Fred, this is for an alley."

"I know, this is called a murder investigation. Before you get all upset or something as it was explained to me this is the fourth one today, they ran out of detectives." Audrey is looking at the note then snorts.

"This is up in north side." Good she said something, I had nothing to say since I am struck completely dumb at ran out of detectives.

"Yeah, there has been a rash of them of late."

"They ran out of detectives?" Fred looks at me and grins.

"Gang violence has erupted, at least that is the thinking. So there are a lot of people getting offed and not enough detectives to investigate. They are pulling in detectives but they are also needed in south and west side so limited numbers. We don't have to find the shooter, though would be nice. We just have to go and investigate so people will know it is being looked at."

"So make sure people know there are bulls looking into things." Fred is nodding.

"More or less an election strategy, make sure people know the sitting Mayor has the bulls to look into things." Nod and then frown because there is one thing.

"Fred we are dicks." Fred nods and shrugs.

"We are also court appointed dicks, as in we work for the state government."

"Little early to be making election runs." Audrey says so we both look at her.

"True, but there are articles on this person is making a move on running against someone." Fred says which is true.

"Alright so I am going to go ask questions of people?" Fred shakes his head.

"We will go and ask. According to the conversation I had the bulls have searched the alley and gotten all they can, there is a casing so a pistol was used and likely we are looking at a gang hit, since most use those it seems." Frown because I don't want to get into that.

"Do they not know we got appointed dicks by Capone?" Fred snorts and nods.

"They do know, but we are also not made so we should be alright up there unless we find a hideout."

Whimper at that one then Fred has hopped up and going to get dressed. He comes back and collects me then outside and over to my breezer. Come out of it a little then so hop in and get us going. Fred directs since I never have driven to north side, at least not past the tall buildings. Find the alley fairly easy, there are two patrol jalopies sitting there with lights on.

I am feeling sorry for those living on the other side of the street. Mostly because the alley dead ends on this street over there. Have a house facing, sort of, the opposite alley. Not precisely a good placing for a house, alleys are where trash is dropped, among other things since there are bulls here. Out of my breezer we go into the alley.

Get met by a bull rather quickly, mostly because Fred asked what they found. So we both flash license and he reads those then looks up at us.

"Why do we have dicks assigned?" Fred sighs and shakes his head.

"We are court appointed dicks, and they ran out of detectives." Bull sighs and looks up for a moment.

"We have been getting busy so I won't complain. At least we get someone, yesterday at end of shift we had two complaining about taking statements and asking questions instead of a detective." Fred snorts.

"I remember being a patrol, went to war and lost interest." Bull is grinning now.

"Yeah lost interest and yet here you stand." I am giggling now so Fred pokes me and the bull puts his hand up. "We have found a casing so pretty sure we have a pistol as the murder weapon. Better than a shotgun, I heard about that last week. We got our offed over there and neither one of us knows him. We got pictures taken so tomorrow perhaps you can look at those, though honest it looked like it does now and no idea on when we get a coroner."

Fred nods and takes me over to look at the deceased, and to search his pockets. We find a wallet so that is surprising, and a set of keys, to a house. I get handed the wallet so open it up to find a voter registration card. At least we get a probable name for the fella, and an address to someplace in north side that the bull knows where it is.

"Odd this fella is over here, the address is ten miles I think."

"I find it odder there is no driver license, you north side moneybags always have a jalopy or two." Bull snorts and shakes his head.

"I was born and still live south side. We get moved around some, in theory so we know the city and not our home. Mostly we are pretty sure to cut down on bought cops."

"Probably work better to pay more. You did call for a coroner?" Bull is nodding.