Flight SH 123 to Corfu Ch. 07 of 07

"Ruddy hell, Julie! What did you say to him? Ruddy hell!!" exclaimed Chief Stewardess Jane Lewis, in apparent shock and disbelief.

And, in great relief, too ... that she would, after all, be operating the flight to Izmir with a full complement of Air Purification Technicians.

* * *

Once again, Danny was sitting aboard the Sunshine Holidays crew bus.

Danny sat at the back, along with the other three Air Purification Technicians (none of whom he knew) who would also be 'operating' on the Izmir flight.

In the front passenger seats sat the Captain, First Officer, and the Flight Engineer. And seated just behind them were Chief Stewardess Jane Lewis, and her three colleagues: air hostesses Tanya, Andrea, and Dawn.

Danny knew now, about the 'drawing of lots' by the air hostesses. Danny had already suspected as much, after overhearing what air hostess Diane had said to air hostess Ann, earlier: "And, I'll be having Costello, as my own, personal ... footman."

But now, Danny knew this for a fact. For Danny had just witnessed this drawing of lots (by dint of pulling a playing card from the pack; the higher value cards, deciding the pecking order of choice), in the Sunshine Holidays crew room.

The drawing of lots, by the air hostesses, for them to choose which of the techies would attend them. Both, at the passenger transfer interlude at the destination airport, and also in the crew room, upon their return, when their chosen techie would perform his post-flight foot massage, for her. After which, she would then write her report, recording her comments regarding the quality and the satisfaction of his foot-massaging performance. And award him her marks out of ten, towards his Foot Masseur of the Month competition tally.

And then, while she was busy counting up the day's takings, he would clean and polish her uniform issue, two-inch heeled, dark-blue pumps for her ... "So that, when you return them to our locker, they are all spotless and gleaming, and ready for our next flight duty."

Danny had witnessed the drawing of lots, by the air hostesses. Witnessed them choosing their techies. Witnessed them choosing the techie, who was to be their "own, personal ... footman."

And Chief Stewardess Jane Lewis, being entitled to first choice, as senior air hostess, had chosen him -- Danny. Because she wanted to teach Danny "some manners." And, to report the 'results' to his sisters, Elaine and Melanie.

Now, the crew bus rolled to a stop next to another Sunshine Holidays 'Flying Pencil' aircraft, and Chief Stewardess Jane Lewis spoke authoritatively to her four charges. "Come on, then! Out of the bus! Use the rear entrance steps to board the aircraft," she ordered crisply.

As soon as the four techies and the four air hostesses were aboard the jet-liner, Chief Stewardess Jane Lewis and her three air hostess colleagues: Tanya, Andrea, and Dawn, set about the task of removing the panels from behind the rearmost row of seats: 50 A, B, C, and D.

The four air hostesses spun free the quick-release wing-nuts, and then removed the four panels and placed them aside.

Now, having gained access to the under-seat spaces of the Flying Pencil's narrow fuselage, the four air hostesses pulled forward Air Purification Technician Service Vehicles A, B, C, and D.

"Okay, Dawson," said Chief Stewardess Jane Lewis, nodding meaningfully towards the four heinously-conceived poolside-recliner-like contraptions. "Since you were so kind as to volunteer, I'll let you take your pick. Ha ha ha ha!"

Danny was red-faced, from embarrassment and shame (after all, Chief Stewardess Jane Lewis was someone who knew his two sisters, Elaine and Melanie), as he replied respectfully, "Thank you, Miss Jane. I'll take this one."

And, even before Chief Stewardess Jane Lewis could issue her next order, Danny was already getting aboard Service Vehicle D. Danny knew the procedure: He lay on his back, with his head facing towards the front of the aircraft.

Already, Danny was starting to feel quite at home. And, any moment now, he knew, he would be back inside the severely cramped confines, of the dim and dismal under-seat space of a 'Flying Pencil's narrow fuselage.

Chief Stewardess Jane Lewis crouched down beside Danny. Chuckling to herself, she strapped him aboard Service Vehicle D, by his ankles, wrists, and neck. After sealing his mouth closed with a strip of adhesive tape, she cinched his nostrils shut with her thumb and forefinger; Danny's bug-eyed, panicky look, a moment later, assuring her that it was airtight. "I'll see you in Izmir, then. In about four hours," she told Danny. "And, trust me ... I'm looking forward to it."

So am I, Miss Jane, thought Danny excitedly. So am I ...

But, that would be in about four hours' time. And a lot was going to happen, before then.

A lot of female passengers, who were seated in seat line D, would be pushing the button located under their right armrest ... to summon him. To summon the services, of an Air Purification Technician.

Danny settled back, looking forward to his next incredible adventure as, with the leather sole of her uniform issue, two-inch heeled, dark-blue pump shod foot, Chief Stewardess Jane Lewis gleefully pushed Service Vehicle D back on track -- and consigned Danny to his fate.

* * *

Two days later, on Wednesday, Danny reported to the Sunshine Holidays Information Desk, at 06:00. And the three Air Purification Technicians who were already waiting there were all strangers to him.

There was no sign of his three former school pals: Eric Pierce, Kelvin Costello, and Alan Wallace.

After just one shift, operating as Air Purification Technicians in the severely cramped confines of the dim and dismal under-seat spaces of one of Sunshine Holidays 'Flying Pencil' aircraft, they'd had enough. More than enough.

On Monday, as soon as Chief Stewardess Julie Davies had dismissed them for the day, Eric, Kelvin, and Alan had agreed to meet up first thing on Tuesday morning, and head straight for their local Job Centre.

The Job Centre staff were very pleased to see them. Very helpful, they were, and only too happy, to assist the decidedly agitated threesome in their urgent quest to find gainful employment.

And, find gainful employment, they did. Starting next day, Wednesday. Working for the local council, as refuse collectors ... Not quite, what they were looking for. Or hoping for.

But Danny's three former school pals -- and, would-be 'career claimants' -- accepted their job opportunities gratefully. And, with great relief.

Because anything was better -- anything! -- than having to return to their placements.

Anything was better, than being 'obliged' to sniff up; to sniff up and absorb into their lungs, the malodorous, highly offensive, nauseating, female passengers' stinky-feet fumes -- that; these foul impurities, these noxious contaminants, if left 'unfiltered', would taint the quality of the air inside the aircraft cabin -- so that the Sunshine Holidays passengers wouldn't have to.

The A.F.P.'s Work Motivation Programme was, apparently, working brilliantly. And the A.F.P. were duly fulfilling their flagship election manifesto pledge.

Prime Minister Caroline Flint and her Authoritarian Female Party government, with the introduction of their various placement schemes, community service orders, etc, were 'motivating' Britain's idlers to work.

But, no scheme is perfect.

And the Authoritarian Female Party could hardly be blamed, if the ... the odd one, slipped through their net.

THE END.