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Click hereI'd be delighted to hear your views of this story... or if anyone knows Flights of Fantasy's phone number.
Structurally, this is a pretty sound story and has its moments, though the premise fell a little flat for me.
I thoroughly enjoyed this tale! I can see the need for a continuation of the story. I would like to read about Carol's experience and what happened after the 45 minute feed was finished. Great start! Keep 'em cummin'! :) ~Minx
I think it was a very original idea. And the twist that had the wife involvde was interesting... but in the end pointless as you didn't use it in any way. Nor did the husband know about it (at least the narration implies that.)
I think this could have been fleshed out into a more complete story with a tad more description. And the plot also had scope for telling about Carol's experience and also her showing her video to her husband (so far the story only refers to his video). The surprise he feels and the ensuing passion could have been worked further.
Still, it was original! Keep up the great ideas.
- JT