Following Her Dream Ch. 13

***

Janet crept into the bedroom, anxious about what was to come. She found Violet where she left her, her back convulsing as she continued to sob. She called out her name.

Violet whirled around on her bed, grabbing a lamp on the nightstand and chucking it as hard as she could at Janet. She watched as it soared through the air before being dragged to the ground, caught by the cord. The brass frame thudded against the carpet, the bulb shattering from the impact. Violet stared at it in disappointment before cursing to herself and plopping back on the bed, hiding her face once again.

Janet breathed a sigh of relief before picking herself up off the ground. She weighed her options, and was almost convinced to just give up and leave. "Can we talk?" she inquired. She kept her distance, ready to retreat at a moments notice

"No." The response was quick and terse.

"I have a proposition."

"I don't want to hear it. Get out or I'll find another lamp, an unplugged one this time."

"Hear me out. If you don't like what I have to say, then I'll leave, and we'll never see each other again." Janet waited, but Violet gave no response. She didn't decline, at least, so Janet continued. "Do you love Snow?"

Violet rolled onto her back. "It's Klara. You don't get to say that name."

"Just answer the question, Violet," Janet responded in exasperation. Every moment made her question more and more why she bothered to come back.

"What do you think?" Her tone was as snarky as ever.

Janet tilted her head back. "Jesus Christ," she said under her breath. "I'm trying to help you here, so just cut the attitude for one measly minute."

Violet eyed her suspiciously, but for once didn't give any retort.

"What if there was a way that you could still be with Sn-" Janet caught herself when she saw the look on Violet's face. "With Klara." She paused. "I'd like to use my device on you."

Violet let out a short laugh. "Like hell. No way I'm going to let you control me. I thought you were done using that anyways?" Part of her had been curious what Janet would say, but if that's what she expected to do, then for all Violet cared, Janet could just fuck off.

"I said I wouldn't use it to solve my problems, and I'm not. I'm doing this for her. For reasons I can't fathom, she still loves you." That seemed to get Violet's attention, as Janet could see sorrow replacing the anger.

"You said it yourself," Janet continued. "You can't help being who you feel you are. My offer is this. Let me use the device on you. Let me help you be the person you want to be - for her."

Violet pulled herself into a sitting position as she looked down at the bed, her mouth open. She brought her knees up to her chest, hugging them with her arms.

"Rachel is on her way with the tablet to drop it off. I'll wait downstairs. Think it over for a bit. Ten minutes. After that, I'm gone. I have too much work to do trying to fix the rest of your mess."

Violet didn't move a muscle. She heard Janet leave, her footsteps fading down the hallway.

She collapsed back onto the bed, mulling Janet's offer over and over in her mind. She closed her eyes and imagined Snow's beautiful face.

***

Janet waited by the exit, her tablet in hand. Rachel had stopped by, only long enough to hand the device over. Janet had her return to the dorm right away, just to be safe. She'd wait patiently there for Janet to return. She was instructed to call the cops if Janet didn't show up in the next hour.

She looked at her watch, the time crawling by. It wasn't much longer until she told herself she'd leave, and a part of Janet almost felt disappointed.

At long last, she heard the door open from across the shop.

Violet shuffled towards her, tears staining her cheeks. She looked defeated, an emotion Janet was surprised she was even capable of. She paused halfway across the room and looked up towards Janet.

"Are you ready?" Janet asked, showing the tablet to Violet.

"How can I trust you? After all I've done, why do you want to help me?"

Janet didn't even know how to answer that. Instead, she approached the counter and placed the tablet atop it. Turning to Violet, she gestured towards the nearby stool.

Violet stared at the device warily, afraid to take the first step. She watched as Janet backed away, giving her space. She found that her legs didn't want to move.

Out of the corner of her eye, Violet saw Snow. She was standing by the entrance, motionless, staring at nothing. Memories of their time together flashed through Violet's head - the day they met, their first kiss, the first time Snow screamed her name through the gag in her mouth.

Over time, that scream had become an angry shout. The arguments escalated, until that fateful day that Violet went too far and struck Snow across the cheek. That was the last time she had seen her.

Violet shook her head, breathing deeply. She focused on the fonder memories as she willed her legs to move. As she turned the tablet on, she took one last glance over at Snow.

Janet reached into her pocket and pulled out her glasses, drawing Violet's attention. As she put them on, she saw Violet's eyebrow raise. "It's a precaution. These glasses make me immune to the screen."

Violet recognized them as the same glasses Janet had worn when she put her under. At least... when she thought she put her under. Violet closed her eyes and let out a soft chuckle. "Of course..." she muttered. "So you were faking the whole time?" Violet actually felt impressed that Janet had been able to fool her.

"Not quite," Janet responded, her demeanor serious. "Let's just get this over with."

Violet wanted to question more about it. The lack of information made her suspicious. Instead she just nodded.

"There's one other thing," Janet started, causing Violet to tense up. "I'm willing to do this regardless of what happens, but before I bring you back out, I'm going to tell Klara the truth about everything. What happens between the two of you after that is up to you."

Violet could feel the familiar swell of anger rise through her. How dare Janet try to change the plan at the last minute like this. She'd make her pay. With Snow on the other side of the room, there's no way she'd be able to get over here in time to stop-

She caught herself, disappointed at her lack of control. She released the hand that had been gripping her knee, her nails digging into the fabric of her pants. She looked up at Janet. "I understand." With that, she loaded up the program.

The screen came to life with a dazzling display of color. Violet had never seen something so beautiful. Against her will, tears once again began to flood down her cheeks, leaving darkened circles on her clothing. For the first time, she could feel her emotions settle as absolute peace washed over her. The room went dark, and she could hear a comforting voice speak to her.

She wanted to listen.

***

Janet pressed her head to the door of her home as she leaned her back against it. Despite her sense of freedom, she wanted nothing more than to just climb into bed and fall into a coma. The events of the last few days had worn her out and tested her sanity. She wondered if maybe she should see a psychiatrist to work through things.

She'd decided to bookmark that idea as she straightened up. There was still one last issue to deal with.

Janet walked into the room and took a seat at the dining table, placing the tablet on the floor to her side. She studied Rachel, seated silently across from her with unseeing eyes. The entire walk home, ever since Janet left Violet's shop, she had tried to figure out what she was going to say to her friend. Nothing sounded right in her head. She'd have to wing it and just hope for the best.

"Rachel," she said with a nervous voice. "I'm going to wake you up in a minute. When I do... I want all the control over you to be gone. Every trigger, every change made by the device, all gone. Completely back to normal, except for one thing..." Janet felt like she was pushing her luck with this, like she was betraying Rachel's trust once more. It was important for her, and she hoped Rachel would understand. "I command you to just hear me out. Let me say what I need to say, and then you'll be free of everything. Do you understand?"

"Yes..." came the expected response.

Janet sat there, too afraid to give that final command, too afraid of what she figured would come after. There was still a voice inside her telling her she didn't have to worry. She didn't have to deal with any of this. It would just take a few simple words, and the two of them could go on as if nothing ever happened.

The notion did sound tempting. With how anxious she was, how desperately she wanted to be done with this all, of course the easy way out felt appealing. It was more than that, too. More than just wanting to go back to normal, Janet had the opportunity to make things better for herself. She could live the perfect life with the perfect lover.

She knew if she went down that road, she may never forgive herself. No matter how much she changed things, a part of her would know that it would all be fake. Janet wanted to see Rachel's smile, more than anything. Not the forced smile that she had with Violet, but the beautiful one she wore before it all.

She decided to just get it over with, like ripping off a bandage. "Wake up." She almost flinched at her own words.

The world seemed to rush at her, leaving Rachel feeling disoriented. When things came into focus, her eyes settled on Janet. Realization of what transpired over the last few days dawned on her, and she gave her roommate a scowl. Rachel leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Hey, Rachel," Janet said sheepishly. She gave a wan smile, attempting to lighten the atmosphere. It slipped away in response to the cold stare she received in return. Janet lowered her gaze, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. She wasn't sure where to begin, wasn't sure what she could possibly say in a situation like this.

As Janet struggled to find her words, Rachel broke the silence. "So, are you going to talk, or do you expect me to wait for eternity, since I have to 'hear you out'?"

The tone hurt, but Janet understood that it was justified. Steeling herself, she looked Rachel right in the eyes. "I'm sorry. For everything. Truly. I know that that doesn't even begin to excuse what I did, but I have to say it. I'm sorry."

Janet still felt terrible, but to finally get the words out did help, to an extent.

"That night, when I made you forget everything... If I had known it would have led to all of this... hell, if I had known anything would have come of it at all, I never would have done it. I was scared at how you were reacting to the program, and... well..."

Janet found it hard to talk. She closed her eyes, taking another slow, deep breath. She wanted to bury her head in her hands on the table, but knew that right now wasn't the time for her cowardice. "I was scared at how it made me feel about you..."

She paused again, feeling a slight sense of relief over the minor confession. "When I got Melanie," she cringed at her phrasing, "I wanted things to go back to normal between us. I thought the best way to do that was to just make you forget about the device.

"I was selfish and short-sighted. You got caught up in it all in ways I never expected, and certainly never wanted. I see that now, and I'm doing the best I can - what little I can - to make things right."

There was no reaction from Rachel, but Janet didn't expect anything anyways.

"That day... the day you were taken from m-... the day you were taken..." Janet tried to maintain control over the swell of emotions from her memories of that time. She thought she had lost Rachel for good.

"I'm sorry it took so long," she said while releasing her breath. "I don't know how else I could have done things. When you were gone, I knew it was up to me to think of something. I tried to come up with a plan..." She slouched in her chair. "Some plan," she said, chuckling despite herself, "if you could call it that.

"It felt so hopeless. I had no idea what to expect, no idea what kind of person she was back then. But..." Janet thought back on her first real encounter with Violet. Even that first impression did little to prepare her for who Violet turned out to be. "There's one thing that I had going for me. There was no way she could have known about the glasses. That knowledge was all I had.

"It wasn't even enough, though. Sure, I'd be immune to the device, but then what? She still had you. Any effort I made to stop her, there was the threat that she'd use you against me. I couldn't have that. I was about ready to give up..." Janet pounded the table in anger, her brow showing her grief as she looked to the side. "I was thinking... maybe if I couldn't stop her, at least if I was there, with you, you wouldn't be alone."

Janet sniffed. She wiped at her nose with her arm. "Melanie was still with me, trying to console me. It just made me feel worse. I felt awful for what I did to her, all because of some stupid crush. She didn't seem to care about it though. In her mind, she really did love me, because I forced her to. I made her into someone she wasn't."

Janet closed her eyes, tilting her head upwards. "It was that thought that had given me hope. I figured Violet would use the device on me. There's no way I could fake being under, I'd be found out in an instant, and who knows what would have happened then. But if I could just... become someone else... I could get Violet to believe she had won. I could wait until she let her guard down... and I knew how to do it.

"The device took months to build. So much trial and error." Janet began staring at her hand as it fidgeted on the table, drawing invisible circles. "You never questioned all the time I spent locked in my room, not directly, but that's what I was doing. Trying to make the device that led to all this. There were prototypes of the hardware. With the experience of the finished product, it wasn't difficult to slap a functioning one together. I had backups of the program on my computer as well.

"The rest was up to Melanie. I had her read from a script. With the glasses, I'd be immune when Violet put me under, if all went well. At that point, my own programming would kick in. For all intents and purposes, I was as much a slave to her as you were." She saw Rachel's eyes narrow at the mention of what she had been. "Really had to sell that one... better safe than sorry.

"I had a back door though... a tiny part of me buried deep down, along with the pertinent memories. I'd only come out when absolutely necessary, otherwise hiding away, waiting for any opportunity.

"A plan to come up with a plan..." Janet chuckled silently to herself.

"Snow ended up being the key to it all, I just had to get you safe. Ms. Gilio and Melanie saw to that. Snow protected me the same way you protected Violet. I owe her so much now.

"I talked to her, before coming over. Undid everything I could. She doesn't even remember any of their fights. Maybe that's why she still loved a monster. I don't know if there's anything I could have done about that. It seems once a memory is forgotten, there's no chance of getting it back. Unfortunately that means that your memories are gone for good as well...

Janet shifted in her seat, every moment of silence making her uncomfortable. "That's not to say she was happy. Quite the opposite, when she learned the truth about us, but she still wants to be with her." She clenched her fists. "I didn't want to let that happen. Snow was too good a person to be with someone like Violet. I didn't want to see her get hurt again, but..." She relaxed her hand. "I also didn't want to force her decision.

"Over the past few days, I had watched Violet carefully, waiting for her to slip up. During that time, I got a sense that deep down, I think she truly did care for Snow as well. I looked past my feelings, and gave her a choice. Maybe you won't like what I did, but... I don't think Violet will hurt Snow anymore."

There was another awkward silence as Janet collected her thoughts. Rachel almost made her jump when she spoke up. "Is that all?" she asked tersely.

"I'm going to let Melanie go," Janet quickly responded, staring into Rachel's eyes with conviction. She saw a look of surprise come over her. "There's something I've come to realize over the past few days. Despite everything that's happened, everything that's come of my program... I still enjoy using it. I love it. I love the feeling of control it provides me. I want to continue using it, because I think it can still offer amazing things.

"I think back on the time that we shared together. The words you wrote in your diary of events that you can no longer remember. Part of me wonders if you truly did enjoy it as much as you said you did, as much as you seemed to. Maybe I played a part in forcing that reaction out of you, I don't know. I'm holding onto hope that maybe... that reaction was real. That you felt the same way as I did during that time.

"You see... I don't want Melanie anymore. It didn't feel the same with her." Janet's voice was getting hoarse. She could feel a lump in her throat over what she wanted to say. "Not like with you." She leaned forward, reaching her hand out and placing it gently on Rachel's. "I love you, Rachel."

Rachel stared at the hand before pulling her own away.

Janet felt it slide under her fingers until her own fell to the table. As much as she understood the reaction, it still hurt.

"I want to be with you, Rachel," Janet said, reaching down and grabbing her tablet. "To show you how much I love you." She placed the tablet on the table, opening it up. Rachel stared at it nervously, afraid of what Janet was doing. "I want to use this on you, to have you obey my every command and hear you scream my name as you orgasm harder than you ever have. To fully control you..."

Janet loaded up the program as she looked back into Rachel's eyes. She continued, her voice shaking, "But I don't want to hurt you. I want you to want the same things, but not because I made you. So I'm going to leave the choice up to you. We can be together, and I can make sure that you love every minute of it, as I certainly will. Or, you can make me forget everything. Go on as if none of this ever happened. Or anything else you want. In the end, I want you to be happy, Rachel. That's all that's important to me. The only thing that matters. Just know that whatever you decide, I will always love you."

Tears were streaming down Janet's face. She tried to read Rachel's reaction, but she was too blurry. She looked down at the screen and let herself go.

She woke up to an empty home.

***

Author's note: Thank you for reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it! I'd love to hear what you think, so feel free to let me know in the comments below.