Following the Feeling Ch. 06

Grayson propped himself on his elbows and waited for Kiera's senses to return. She was well and truly marked by his scent, a victory she didn't realize. Now his pack would know his intent was serious when it came to the slip of a girl beneath him.

She opened her glazed eyes and saw him smiling above her, gray eyes now molten silver.

"Two," he whispered.

** ** *** ** **

Kiera was certain she'd never experienced pleasure to match what had happened. And if the bulge pressing against her was any indication the best was yet to come. It took her several minutes to focus on anything other than the pleasure coursing through her body.

"Are you hungry?" Grayson smiled down at her flushed face.

She looked down his body, realized that he was fully dressed while she was nude. If he wanted her to reciprocate she was more than willing to accommodate him.

Grayson caught the direction of her gaze and laughed a bit painfully.

"I mean real food, my love, you need sustenance."

Her eyes traveled up to his in disbelief. "But...What about? We're... You're not done."

"Oh no, we're certainly not done, but I don't want to overtax your starving body."

Her protest was interrupted by a growl. This time it originated from her stomach and not his throat. His eyes crinkled in response. He rolled off her and stood.

"Come on, get dressed and we'll feed you then take a walk."

He grasped her arm and pulled her upright. She allowed him to walk her around the room to her dresser where he pulled out underclothes, a tank top and jeans. With his assistance she was dressed and propelled downstairs.

Kiera was shocked. She rarely took a lover, but never before had one satisfied her so thoroughly and then didn't take her fully. She wondered if he didn't want to have sex with her because she was human. He definitely seemed interested in her body and he hadn't given any indication they couldn't sleep together due to species differences. But maybe what he did to her was considered sex between werewolves. Whatever the reason, she was a bit put out by his easy manner after knocking her world off its axis.

Gray reached for her hand at the base of the stairway and pulled her into the kitchen. Along the way she saw various people, known and unknown, milling about. She hardly had a chance to note her friends' condition before entering the kitchen. There Felix sat at the feet of one of Grayson's twin bodyguards having overcome his initial fear. She knew he was not afraid of the dogs that sometimes wandered around their property, but was still surprised at his casual demeanor. Gray sat her at the table and moved around her kitchen with a familiarity that bothered her. He'd moved into her life and made space for himself without permission. Then again, she recalled the perks of having him so close by and at ease. He made her a sandwich then served her with a flourish. She smiled her thanks before eating, a little too stunned at the chaos around to respond.

Grayson leaned up against the countertop watching her eat and noted the others were watching her too. They were too well trained to invade her personal space to confirm the scent, but the warmth of her body emitted her arousal and the mark of his scent. Not even the pungent smell of Persian coffee could disguise it. No one dared comment in her presence, but the questions in their eyes were answered by the triumphant glow of his.

Kiera ate in silence, feeling self aware and embarrassed. She wondered if the werewolves heard what went on upstairs, then decided she'd rather not know. It was a private moment if only in her mind.

Mason came in the kitchen for a refill and stopped when he saw Kiera sitting at the table surrounded by Grayson and his pack.

"Look who decided to join us. I never thought I'd see the day when Kiera overslept. Bad dreams K?" He finished with a smirk.

Kiera just rolled her eyes and kept eating. Mason would adjust eventually, but she had no desire to tempt the devil in him. She left that honor to Jasmine who loved to push Mason's buttons.

"Aw, K, don't be put out," Mason said then bussed her on the cheek. "I promise I'll behave."

Kiera no sooner finished her sandwich and chips before Grayson swooped in to take her plate.

He washed it briskly despite the nearby dishwasher and then announced, "We're going for a walk alone. Watch the others and we'll be back soon."

Without pausing Gray pulled Kiera up from the table and out the door. They exited onto the house's wraparound porch facing the woods where he headed without waiting for her consent.

Kiera allowed herself to be led without taking issue with his purposeful momentum. She had a few questions and preferred privacy before asking them.

They walked a bit into the forest before halting by a fallen tree. His gesture insinuated she should sit, but he remained standing for the time being.

"We need to talk," he began.

Kiera couldn't help the laugh that escaped. How many conversations these past couple days started that way? She composed herself when he glowered down at her.

"Sorry, go ahead."

"There's something about our differences that I wanted to discuss."

Here it was the no human-werewolf fornication rule.

"I wanted to finish what I started upstairs, but I thought that we should clear some things up."

Hmm, maybe they could have sex, but he was going to tell her it couldn't go further. He was the top wolf in his pack and his responsibilities precluded dating humans.

Kiera's thoughts meandered as she watched Grayson pace back and forth. She sensed his nervousness and wanted to ease his discomfort.

"It's okay." She said. "Just get it all out in the open and then we can move on. After the past couple of days I can handle anything." Well almost, she mentally corrected.

"Ok," he steeled his resolve, "here it is. Sex with a werewolf is different than a human male. It's a lot more...involved."

Kiera thought that over. "Do you mean you turn into your other form when having sex?"

She wasn't sure how she felt about that. Yesterday she wasn't scared of his werewolf form, but she had been so relieved to be alive she hadn't given it much thought. Nevertheless, Kiera wasn't sure if she wanted to welcome the big, bad wolf into her bed if he was always going to get furry.

Grayson shook his head to her question. "No I don't transform during sex, but will when we mate."

"Wait, what's the difference?"

"When we mate it will be a bonding ritual that transcends sex," he explained. "It's the most primal of our rituals and I won't be able to control the transformation. It's best to release the were form beforehand to avoid any...damage during the ritual."

Kiera stared up at him for long moments. They had started talking about sex, rather than doing it which she would have preferred, and then he started talking about primal rituals and bonding. She tried to follow his path, but found herself lost.

"You won't have sex with me unless I let you do some ritual?"

Gray huffed, wondering how to make her understand. "I was just trying to explain the difference between sex and mating. When we have sex I'll stay in human form, but when we mate I'll be in were form. You've been so reluctant before today that I didn't want to take the chance of scaring you when we had sex." He knelt before her and took her hands in his.

"I want you so badly that I can't risk losing you. I don't know your reasons, but you have to understand that I won't hurt you."

Kiera's eyes softened, "I'm not scared of you, Gray. I'm scared of myself. That's why I resisted you. But you've been so damn persistent."

Gray was taken aback. She apologized whenever she lost control over her empathic abilities, but he thought that was simply because he'd pushed away the first time it happened.

"Why would you be scared of yourself?" He pulled her off the log onto his lap. "You're so soft and responsive and I love that you lose control."

"You don't understand," she insisted. "When I lose control people get hurt. I tried to explain that to you before, but you didn't listen. I can't hurt anyone again, I just can't do it."

Gray held her trembling form tightly and encouraged, "Tell me what happened."

"I killed someone!" Kiera blurted through her tears. "I lost control and I broke him. His mind couldn't take the emotions when they didn't dissipate right away. I tried to help him, but he wouldn't let me touch him. He ran away and...and he killed himself."

"I can't hurt you like I did him," she looked at him with glossy eyes. "I couldn't bear it."

Grayson listened to her confession and felt her pain. She'd blamed herself for something out of her control and spurned his advances to protect him. His heart swelled.

"You can't hurt me, sweetheart," he comforted. "I'm much stronger than you credit me and I can handle it. And while I don't want to hurt you either, you should know that when we make love my body will change."

Kiera wiped her eyes and said, "You told me you didn't change during sex."

"I don't transform into my were form, but my cock will grow a knot. It can be painful at first, but I'll be as gentle as I can."

"A knot?" Her inner pain faded as her confusion grew.

"Yes, it locks us together during sex. It's the wolf's way of ensuring your body holds in my seed. I'll wear a condom until we mate so you don't have to worry about getting pregnant."

"Oh."

It was the best she could manage. Then something else pricked her mind.

"You keep saying 'when' or 'until' about mating like it's a forgone conclusion."

He knew he was rushing her a bit, but also wanted to be honest. "I fully intend to take you as my mate, Kiera. You're the one I want at my side for the rest of my life. I'll protect you and provide for you and pleasure you until you can't stand."

Kiera heard his words, but also heard what wasn't said. He didn't say he'd love her, only that he'd protect and provide for her. Pleasure was wonderful, but she wasn't sure how she could commit herself to someone without loving them or being loved in return.

He saw her frown and tried to assure her. "Don't worry we haven't reached that hurdle yet. I just wanted you to be aware of my intentions."

Kiera blinked. "Okay. So can we still have sex?"

Grayson grinned and hugged her tight. He knew down to his core that she was right for him; it was simply a matter of persuading her. His wolf growled in anticipation at the thought of convincing the contrary woman in his arms.