Fool's Gold Ch. 02

I toyed with the idea of deliberately misconstruing her comment and making some snide comment about knowing exactly what she and David were doing, but I avoided the temptation.

Her flash of jealousy and her embarrassment was one of the first signs that she might still have feelings for me and I didn't want to shoot her down in a way that would turn those feelings into anger and hurt. That didn't stop me from making her twist in the wind, however.

"I understand," I responded airily. Now, to change the subject, I continued with, "Say, do you know what time Lacey's game is on Thursday? I want to make sure that I get there on time."

Anne's eyes flashed in annoyance at my change of subject, but there was no real good way she could continue with her efforts to get information without making it all too obvious. We exchanged pleasant nothings for a while until the girls ran into the room ready to go. I said my good byes and watched at the door while the girls ran on ahead to the car.

I judged my moment carefully.

"Annie?" I stopped her.

She turned with a question in her eyes.

"Her name was Sally. She's a good friend that works with Laura. Friday was her fortieth birthday and I was trying to make it special for her. There is nothing serious going on between us."

Anne looked at me in amazement for a moment before smiling in relief.

"That was my first, and probably last date with David," she replied wryly. "I don't think he was happy that I stared at you for half of the meal."

I snorted in amusement and she gave me a quick smile before turning and walking to her car. I can't really explain why I decided to explain myself to Anne. Maybe it was that flash of disappointment when I didn't seem to care about her date. But her response, and the grateful smile she flashed at me, convinced me that I had made the right choice.

From that point on, my conversations with Anne took on a far friendlier tone. We didn't limit ourselves to talking about the girls. We would talk about work, upcoming events, even our upcoming plans. It became common to be invited in for a cup of coffee or a drink while waiting for the girls to get ready. Annie even invited me over for dinner on Sarah's birthday and I reciprocated by inviting her along when I took Lacey out for her birthday. We started to sit together at school events.

I think it was easier for me to deal with Anne as a friend than it would have been to deal with our history if we were still married. My pride still stung when I thought about her cheating on me and leaving me for that asshole; but that wasn't as important an issue, when our relationship was limited to friendship. I could choose to let bygones be bygones, and enjoy what my life now offered. I didn't want to waste my time on the negatives of the past.

As long as I was not thinking about reconciling with her, I found it possible to push aside the betrayal and just enjoy the moment. I didn't see the need to get back together with her. That part of our lives was over. I was content to enjoy her company in a social setting.

It wasn't perfect of course. There were some topics that were avoided by an unspoken agreement. We rarely talked about the past or reminisced about the fun we had together. We both knew that a conversation about the good times would almost certainly lead to a discussion of the bad times. That was a subject we very much wanted to avoid. There was a mutual fear that a discussion of our breakup could destroy our tentative new friendship. So, we never did get around to discussing the whys or wherefores of her affair.

Our new friendship was better than the stilted civility that we'd had before, but there was something vaguely unsatisfying about it too. Eventually, I came to conclude that the problem was that it was a shallow friendship, at best. It's hard to develop a fully matured friendship when there was this big hole sitting in the middle of it.

It was a sad day when I realized that there were still major problems between Annie and me. Until we dealt with the elephant in the corner, we could never get past our history. We needed to close out our marriage and to discuss how we broke up, before we could even hope to have any type of true future relationship between us. Whether it was to be as friends or something more, sooner or later we would have to discuss things. But I was still stubborn enough to wait her out. I wanted her to bring up the subject.

I suspected that Annie was hoping that our friendship would lead to more. Perhaps even to our getting back together. At least that was the message that I got from the occasional hints she would drop, but I ignored her hints. I had no interest in taking it further.

The lack of a full apology or a stated reason as to why the affair had happened prevented me from ever fully trusting Annie. I liked her. Hell, I probably still loved her. But I couldn't imagine ever reconciling with her.

As our tentative friendship blossomed, the kids were ecstatic. Naturally, they were reading more into the situation than was warranted. For example, in Sarah's mind it was simple. I loved Anne, she loved me, and sooner or later we would realize it, remarry, and get back to being a happy family.

I cautioned the girls not to get their hopes up. Hell, I specifically told them that all we were was friends. I had no desire to remarry their mother and I was perfectly happy dating, and living the single life. Even Anne told the girls we were just friends, and not to be disappointed if nothing else happened.

I fully understood that Sarah and Lacey would have to be affected by any change in my relationship with Anne. They had been devastated by our divorce and had had a hard time adjusting to the shared custody arrangement. If they got their hopes too high over the idea of reconciliation, I didn't know how they would take the disappointment if it did not happen.

That concern helped me keep Anne at a comfortable distance. As long as we were just friends, I could keep the girls from getting too hopeful or dreaming too much. I'll admit that there were times when I was tempted to accept one of Annie's subtle offers to join her for an evening. I truly did miss making love to her and the joy of cuddling together as we drifted off to sleep, but I wouldn't; no, I couldn't do that to the kids.

But, naturally, the girls kept trying. For about a month and a half, the girls pestered both Annie and me to go on a "family vacation" just like we used to. They begged and pleaded for us to take them on a joint trip. Their efforts to play matchmaker were obvious, but they kept it up. Finally, Annie and I laughingly agreed to surprise the girls with a four-day trip to Disney World.

We went on the trip the week before Labor Day and it was obvious from the beginning that the girls had planned this trip to "break the ice" between Annie and me. We might have had different hotel rooms, but the girls took every opportunity to throw us together while they took off by themselves. They wanted us to be alone and eventually they succeeded in getting us off by ourselves in a romantic setting

On the afternoon of our last full day at the resort, Lacey told me firmly that she had made the dinner arrangements that night. Now that she had just turned fifteen, she was going to take Sarah off to a dinner show. Then she handed me a dinner reservation for two at one of the more quiet, secluded and romantic restaurants.

I never found out if Annie was in on the plans to get us together that evening. I wouldn't put it past her. At the very least, she was a willing victim to the girl's machinations. It was three against one and I was outvoted.

I'm not going to say that I didn't enjoy myself. You don't spend fifteen years with someone if you don't enjoy their company. Annie was eager to impress me, and tried her hardest to be a delightful companion. We laughed our way through dinner, and lingered over our coffee and deserts. When we passed the piano lounge on the way back to the hotel, I eagerly jumped at her suggestion of a nightcap just for the chance to spend more time with her. It was nice to spend time with Annie and forget the past

When the music started playing, I grabbed her hand and led her out onto the dance floor. I held her close and stared down into her laughing eyes as she swayed against me. It was difficult not to lean down and press my lips against hers for the kiss she was looking for. A kiss that would signify the first small step in our possible reconciliation. A kiss that would lead to my taking Annie back to my room for a different sort of nightcap. Annie was mine for the asking. All I had to do was say the word.

The girls' plan almost worked. My resolve almost slipped as I stared into her eyes and remembered how much I had loved her. But my misgivings remained. With great difficulty, I restrained myself for the rest of the evening.

Annie was disappointed when I left her at her door. I could see the sadness when I carefully ignored her upturned lips just begging to be kissed and left her with a soft good night and a kiss on the cheek. It took a lot of willpower not to just take her in my arms and say to hell with the consequences, but I wasn't ready to take the step she so obviously wanted and was waiting for.

That night as I lay awake in my bed with a raging hard on, I thought hard about my relationship with Annie. I reviewed my feelings for her and thought about whether I could ever see my way into reconciling with her. I had to accept the fact that I still loved her. She had stolen my heart when we first met and that love had become so deep-seated, that I could never lose it.

A million questions ran through my mind. In the end, the major issue was whether my love for Annie was enough reason to reconcile? Love wasn't the real issue; my big question was trust. After what she had done, was there any possibility that I could learn to trust her again? Could I forgive her? Would the pain and work be worth it?

I couldn't answer those questions. The only thing I was sure of was that I wasn't willing to take the chance on reconciliation unless and until I firmly believed that we had a legitimate hope of making it work. Otherwise the dangers to the girls were too great to risk.

After tossing and turning for hours, I was no closer to resolution. It was to be expected. I needed to speak to Annie first before I could make any decisions. We had to sit down and find out whether we were looking for the same thing. Were we willing to commit to the hard work of rebuilding our relationship that would be required of any effort to reconcile?

Above all, I needed to finally resolve my anger about the affair and our divorce. Any attempt at getting back together would have to begin with a long hard discussion of the reasons why we broke up in the first place. It was time to bring everything out in the open.