For Love Ch. 09

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Renee.
3.8k words
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Part 9 of the 11 part series

Updated 10/11/2022
Created 05/27/2008
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"How did you come to be with Ms. Ward?" I asked.

Renee looked at me a minute as we sat on her bed. Then began to answer.

"I had always felt different growing up. I was born Raymond Phillips, the second son to John and Carol Phillips, in Philadelphia. My parents weren't rich and we lived in a blue collar neighborhood."

"My brother John was older then me by two years. He was the football player with broad shoulders and a big build. I'm not sure where my genes came from, but I was 5'7" and only weighed 120 pounds in my sophomore year of high school."

"My dad paid more attention to my older brother as he was the epitome of the manly image my father foresaw for his sons. My father rarely talked to me since I was so small and really not that competitive or athletic. I was more interested in the arts and was very shy. My mother and I got along well though. I was kind of like the daughter she never got to have."

Anyway, I always liked having my hair long and was really never interested in having a girlfriend. Part of it was that I was too shy to ask, but I just felt no pressing need or desire."

"But I watched the girls. I watched how they dressed, how they walked and talked. I even critiqued them thinking one was being to brusque, to slutty, or just not wearing the right clothing."

I would look at fashion magazines and enjoyed looking at the women's wear more then the men's. The men's clothing just seemed so boring, Jeans, t-shirts, shorts, whatever.

Women's wear offered colors, different styles and designs. I would fantasize how I would look in certain outfits."

" Of course in school I was harassed by the guys constantly. Being called a homo and faggot, even though I'd never done anything with anyone. I had looked at some of the boys and felt a desire to be held in their arms."

"I fought against my desires, as everything around me told me I was wrong or strange to be having these kinds of thoughts. I also didn't want my father to hate me more then I thought he already did, and with my religious upbringing always saying homosexuality was a sin, I felt trapped in my small world."

"I didn't really make any friends in school and kept to my self." I was afraid of being teased more by the boys and rejected by the girls. Let's just say it was a very depressing and lonely life not to mention becoming a teenager and having my hormones raging away."

"Well things came to a crescendo when a bunch of the football players grabbed me in the school hallway and forced me into a bathroom. They made me satisfy them, calling me terrible names as I knelt there with tears of shame running down my face."

" A teacher evidently heard something and burst into the bathroom in the middle of this. We were all dragged to the principal's office. The players all stuck together saying I had came on to them. Since they were having a great season, and since I was a loner, guess who the principal sided with."

" Well my parents were called and I could only sit there in shame as the principal explained to my parents what he believed had occurred. My father was furious and wanted nothing to do with his faggot son. He wanted me out of the house immediately.

I was devastated, my life was crumbling around me. My school didn't want a homo there and even though I had been forced, I knew the word would be out that I was the instigator. My father refused to recognize me as his child, instead calling me a freak and an abomination."

"On the ride home I could only look at my lap, tears streaming down my face. Humiliated and feeling as if I was in a pit so deep that there was no sky above me."

"My mother had been quiet through most of this. She rarely questioned my father and was rather submissive to him. I felt no help from her but knew it was breaking her heart as we were so close."

"When we got home, my father pulled me from the car and dragged me to my room."

"He told me I had embarrassed him for the last time and he was going to beat this nonsense out of me. He stripped me of my clothes and began whipping me with his belt. I felt it was what I deserved and said nothing as his belt tore into me."

"I was bleeding from the cuts, but refused to give him the satisfaction of breaking as he continued, calling me horrible names. Finally my mother intervened, grabbing my father and stopping him. She said she would talk to her sister and see about my moving in with her. This placated my father and he finally left me in my room."

"I fell into my mother's arms in tears. If a gun had been handy right then, I would not have hesitated for a minute to end what I felt was my pathetic existence."

" My mother consoled me as she hugged me to her, quieting my tears and being the only person who did not think I was nothing more then a piece of shit to kick about. I saw a strength in her I had never seen before and a love that was the only life saver I had."

"My mother put me to bed where I fell into a deep sleep. I awoke many hours later to learn my mother and I would be leaving for Florida the next day. My life with my family was over. My life with Ms. Ward was about to begin."

" I was still in a state of numbness as my mother and I boarded the plane and flew here. My father had refused to speak with me before I left and my brother had ignored me like a leper."

We were picked up at the airport by Liz and Mistress in her limousine. That cracked through the walls I had drawn around me as I got into this huge, beautiful car."

" My Aunt immediately hugged me and I began to feel a hint that there were people on this earth that didn't believe I was garbage to be ignored or discarded."

" We drove to Ms. Ward's home with Ms. Ward and my mother catching up on their lives, though it was Ms. Ward who did most of the questioning. I began to feel the power of my Aunt as my mother seemed to acquiesce to her presence. "

" I was drawn further from the walls I had drawn around me when we arrived at Ms. Ward's condominium and went into her huge apartment. It was bigger then my former home and the view of the beach and ocean took my breath away."

" I had only packed a small bag of belongings as things had transpired so quickly. Liz had carried my bag up with her though I had yet to hear her speak. Ms. Ward directed me to a bedroom and I was enthralled when she told me it was mine."

" I wanted to look through all the rooms but was stopped by the door being locked of what you now know as the playroom.

Liz prepared us dinner as it was now evening, Ms. Ward bade me to go to bed. She had a manner to her that left little room to question her as I'm sure you've noticed."

" I laid down, but was unable to sleep giving what all had happened over the past two days. I laid there for what seemed like hours when I heard some strange noises and decided that since I couldn't sleep, I would see where these noises were coming from."

I silently padded out of my room in just my underwear and followed the noises to the door of Ms. Ward's bedroom. The door was ajar, but I wasn't really able to see anything.

I pushed the door open as quietly as I could until I could see Ms. Ward's bed. I swear my chin hit my chest when I was finally able to comprehend what I was seeing.

Ms. Ward's back was to me and I could see she was naked. She was kneeling and pushed up against the bottom of another person. I could see the other person was a woman who had her back to the bed. Her legs were pulled up, and I could see ropes were tied to the posts of the headboard, holding these legs. As I took in the scene, I saw this woman's arms were also tied and stretched to the corners at the top of the bed. I couldn't see the face of the woman as Liz, our chauffer from the airport, was kneeling above the woman's face. Liz's eyes were closed as it was obvious the woman was licking her pussy as it was shoved down onto her."

" I saw straps around Ms. Ward's thighs and before that moment had never seen a strap on, but it was obvious that Ms. Ward was fucking the woman with something. Ms. Ward was calling the woman a slut and telling her how much she liked being used as a lesbian fuck toy. The woman was obviously enjoying this as I could hear moans of pleasure as she was being used."

"This went on and on when Ms. Ward most have noticed my presence, as she looked over at me. I thought I was in big trouble for being caught watching all this. I was frozen to the spot wondering if I had just punched my ticket out of here. Instead Ms. Ward looked at me and smiled. She put her finger to her lips signaling for me to be quiet, but gave me no indication that I should leave. She wanted me to watch her as she used this woman."

"My mind was a blur. I had never seen such openly sexual wantonness in my life. I could feel my little dick getting hard yet felt I should be ashamed for seeing these naked women cavorting so."

" Ms. Ward turned back to what she was doing and seemed to signal to Liz to rise up off the woman's face. Liz had opened her eyes and had also seen me standing in the doorway. She just gave me a small smile, but still said nothing. I could feel that it had been tough for her to stop as she seemed to have been close to her own orgasm."

"Well Ms. Ward started asking the woman if she wanted to continue to be fucked like a little lesbian slut. The woman breathily was begging Ms. Ward to continue, agreeing that she was a slut that should be used by her mistress."

"The woman then raised her head up and I thought I would fall over when I saw the woman was my own mother. My god, my mother was being fucked by her older sister, and she was begging her to continue. My mother was begging to be used by Ms. Ward and Liz, saying this was what she needed and deserved."

"I actually felt my legs give out from under me as I dropped to the floor. Here was my loving mom just about screaming to be fucked by another woman, her sister no less. What the hell was going on?"

" I could see mom was not in pain, or at least any pain she did not want to be in, so I just stayed where I was and watched."

Ms. Ward gave another nod to Liz, who resumed her position of rubbing her pussy on my mother's face. I could actually see my mother stretching her tongue out to stick it up into Liz."

"Ms. Ward continued fucking her, her hips picking up speed as my mother tried to push back towards her. I jumped as I heard my mom scream out as she came, thanking Ms. Ward over and over until her body began to relax and settle back onto the bed. Even with that she was able to continue licking Liz until I saw Liz tense up and push her self down hard onto my mother, riding her face as she came. Ms. Ward was the last to come as she shoved her dildo all the way into my mother's open pussy, jarring my mom's body and grunting out as she gave short quick jerks into her."

" After Ms. Ward's passion had settled I saw her look back at me and indicate I should leave. My mom's eyes were still covered by Liz's body. I made my way to my feet and returned to my bedroom as if in a dream. I couldn't grasp all I had just seen. My mother being an active participant in being part of a lesbian rape scene."

" I was awed as I recalled the firm beauty of Liz, Her breast bouncing on her chest as she rode my mother's face. My aunt's tanned taught backside. Her breasts larger then my mom's."

"Things were quiet after that. I can't say I slept but the next thing I knew it was morning. I rose when I heard voices in the front room. How was I going to be able to speak to my mother after this. What would I say to her, Ms. Ward, or Liz. Not to mention the fact that I had a hard on the rest of the night thinking about all I had seen."

"Well, Ms. Ward took matters into her own hands. I joined them all in the kitchen as they were sitting down to eat."

"So Raymond, how was your first night here? I didn't know what to say. How could I voice all that I had seen. My mother was very quiet and I could see her blushing."

"Carol, did you enjoy being fucked by me last night?"

"I think my mom and I would have both fallen into a hole if we could have. I felt my face get as hot as I could see my mom's blush was showing."

It's all right Carol, Raymond saw us last night, didn't you Raymond. I couldn't speak, but could only nod. Did you like what you saw Raymond?" my Aunt persisted.

"Yes I did. I can't believe how beautiful my mom looked.." I could not believe I had just said that. My mom just looked at me, a tear starting down from her eye.

"You looked so wonderful mom. That was the happiest I think I've ever seen you."

"I've always told her she should lose that pig of a husband of hers, but your mom bought into the whole married and good wife thing. "Ms. Ward stated.

"Monica, please." Though I could see a slight smile on my mom's face.

"Carol, you've allowed that lout of a husband to all but destroy this beautiful child. I have no more patience for him."

"I know, but he's still my husband," my mom responded quietly.

"Would you like to explain all this to Raymond, or should I."

"No, I will. Raymond, I learned early on that I liked to be, well, used, sexually. Monica showed me this side of myself when we were younger. I was able to give myself freely and without hesitation to her and we became not only sisters, but lovers."

" Monica always had a mind of her own, much to the chagrin of my parents, so she made her own way while I stayed under their influence. Well the expected thing was for me to be married and that's how your father and I came to be."

"I won't say that was a horrible thing as I do love your father and especially the joy of having my children, especially you."

"I could see you were different from your brother early on. You were so delicate, like the daughter I had always wanted. But I was to weak to stand up to your father and I'm so sorry this had left to what I'm sure has been a hell for you. My relationship with Monica has taught me that there are other paths then what our society says we must follow. I know my sister will help you to find your true path.."

"I was crying at this point as was my mother. I hugged her to me as I told her how much I loved her and never blamed her for all that had occurred."

At this point Ms. Ward interjected.

"Raymond, tell me about yourself. What is it you really want and desire. Tell me what you really feel inside."

"I was speechless at first. How do I voice all that I had dreamed of and wanted. How do I tell my Aunt and mother that I thought there had been some mistake. How I thought I should have been a girl, not a boy."

"Finally the words pored out of me. I told them all my thoughts, all my fears, all my desires. I was scared to death they would laugh at me or call me a freak."

"Instead, my Aunt came to me, hugged me to her and told me if it was a girl I wanted to be, then by god she would see that it would happen." I fell in love with her that moment as I finally found someone who seemed to understand all the pain and confusion I had been going through."

We fell quiet after a discussion of this and I was finally able to eat. The relief of finally being able to voice all I had held in for so many years was finally voiced. And I had not been shunned or mocked for it.

Ms. Ward asked me what name I'd like and since I'd always been addressed as Raymond, felt Renee would not be to great a change. And I liked it.

My mom and I spent a couple of days together, enjoying the beach and shopping with my Aunt. She had taken me out and begun buying girls clothing for me. I was in heaven when I pulled the first pair of silk panties on.

My mom was so relaxed and seemed so free while we were together.

But finally she said she had to go back. I could see what seemed like a light dim in her eyes as she packed to leave me. I know she would have stayed with Liz and my Aunt if she could. I had heard their lovemaking several times while she was here.

Liz drove us to the airport for my mother's flight. We cried and hugged as we said our goodbyes. I think I felt sorrier for my mom than I ever had for myself. Knowing she was trapped in a life she did not want and yet would not allow herself to break out of.

"Well, Ms. Ward was true to her word. She enrolled me in a private high school as a girl and I never wore boys clothing again. My hair was already long and she had taken me to a boutique to have it professionally styled."

Liz and her worked with me on makeup, walking and gestures. I was in heaven. I made friends at school and even had some of the boys looking at me with thoughts of lust instead of ridicule.

When I turned seventeen, my Aunt asked me if I was happy with where I was. I told her I had never been happier. She then asked me if I would like to make this permanent. I wasn't sure what she meant. She explained that the pills she had been giving me since I had arrived were estrogen, or girls hormones, but they could only do so much to change me. Ms. Ward said she would happily arrange for me to be surgically changed into the beautiful girl she thought I wanted to be.

I hesitated for but a minute before asking her to please make it happen.

The surgeries were a blur and the pain was not the greatest, but when we were done, well you can see the results. Ms. Ward said I could have my penis removed and be made into a full woman, but I just don't feel that's who I truly am. I don't know how to explain it, and I now feel free enough that I don't feel I have to."

"So, any complaints with the work so far?"

I certainly could not find any. I mean yea, she still had her cock, but to me she was the most sensual, beautiful, and womanly person I had ever met.

Renee had trembled during some of this and I had pulled her to me as she told me her story.

She had not seen her father or brother since leaving Philadelphia and spoke to her mother on the occasions her mom could sneak away and call.

I wished I could have been there to have helped her through those years, but knew in my heart I would have not had the courage too. I regretted that thought, but vowed that I would do all I can to protect and care for her from here on.

"I love you." I told her. "I think I would have loved you if I had met you as Raymond."

"Raymond no longer exists in my life. I'm not sure "he" ever did. This is who I've always been. I've just been so fortunate that my mother and my Aunt were able to help me to find my way. And I'm really happy that I've found you. You are the first man I've truly loved and wanted."

We kissed and held each other. Neither able to find any other words to convey what we felt more then holding each other in our arms.

My heart was soaring. To be loved and wanted by this woman was more then I felt I could bear.

Renee saw the tear running down my cheek. She swiped it with her thumb and sucked it into her mouth.

"There's no need for tears now. We have found each other and at this moment, you are the greatest joy in my life. What I've told you is the past. You or I cannot change it and even if we could, I would not want to. It's what's made me who I am today."

I had no words and just held her to me, there was nothing more to say.

Finally, "so, about that playroom?"

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READ MORE OF THIS SERIES

For Love Ch. 08 Previous Part
For Love Series Info

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