For Love of Her

Author's Note: This story is part real and part fiction. It is based on personal experiences but the outcome never actually happened. I hope you enjoy reading something that in effect was a source of personal torment. You'll understand once you get into it.

*****

I awoke with a start. Another dream of her. They were getting more frequent again. I had thought I was done with this but no. Of course, how do you just give up on someone you loved? You don't. Or at least, I don't. Or can't. It doesn't matter. I had to find her. Almost three years in a...questionable relationship. It was no longer acceptable. Now it was time to atone for my mistake. Perhaps I should explain.

I am 20 years old, living in Ottawa, capital of Canada. I graduated high school in 2013 and started in 2009. It was then that I met Marissa. How could anyone not fall under the spell of infatuation with her? Her hair was long and golden, eyes clear and blue as the sky. I had never seen such eyes. Her skin was light, not pale but still bright. I was instantly caught in Marissa's beauty and sought to pursue my feelings. Even if I had known what I was getting myself into, I would have done it still.

Every day I was met with a new insult from Marissa. She was very good at it I must admit. This never served to discourage me. I was caught in her spell and needed to know where it would lead me. It made me wonder though. The first day I met her, Marissa was sweet and kind. Then she changed tactics and began hating me. Or so I thought. Was it really hate, or something else?

I found out in the second semester. It was February now and one of my afternoon classes found me in the gym. To my surprise Marissa's French immersion class had her in my gym class. An opportunity for triumph...or for failure? As it was winter, we spent several days ice skating on the frozen Rideau Canal, a famous landmark of the city near our school. I could not skate however. Marissa was not much better. But she realized it gave us opportunity to be alone and she took it.

There, on that frozen canal, she confessed that she did indeed have feelings for me. However, her friends had decided I was a prime target for ridicule and in her weakness she gave in. That was why she spent the days acting like she despised me. So it was that we spent a lot of our time together during gym class. Perhaps an odd way to spend time in a relationship but it was necessary. Marissa was not ready to distance herself from friends she knew for years. I respected her wishes.

After winter things became more difficult. Our chances to see each other were few. I digress and shall skip ahead. Halloween 2011. This would be the last time I saw Marissa until over a year later. It was costume day at school. Strange for a Catholic high school but there it was. Marissa was dressed like a cat. Her tight pants accentuated her long legs. I found her at random really by the main entrance. She gave me a look that conveyed hurt but said nothing. It took me until June to find out what happened. Marissa had been battling depression before. In one such instance she was comforted by a guy she barely knew and he took advantage of her. They had sex and Marissa was pregnant.

I saw Marissa again in January 2013. It was the last days of my cooperative education placement, conveniently next door to our school. She was in the grad lounge with her son. Her hair was brown now as were her eyes. Kaysan, her son had the golden hair and bright blue eyes of his mother. Marissa would not speak to me. I knew why: when we were in love I promised she would never be depressed again. But when she was I was unavailable to her. And so she was easily seduced. I left that day in a medley of emotions, skipping my afternoon classes. I cut myself with a knife once i was home.

Bear with me a while longer. In March of that year I found Marissa on Facebook. We talked on occasion. I admitted I still loved her. She said that if it weren't for the fact she "loved" her son's father, or faked it to save them from his cruelty, we could be together. We met again at prom but Marissa...hid from me. It was painful but I understood. Surrounded by those same friends who never knew of us she had to keep the secret. But now I'm done. Done of having nightmares of Marissa being hurt. Done with wishing I could do something. Now I had to try.

I showered and shaved then used a blow dryer by necessity for my long hair. Returning to my room I dressed in jeans and a leather vest. Part of my style thanks to being in a glam metal band. I left most of my hair untied except the middle, which I did tie back. Thus dressed I went on the Messenger app via my phone, asking to meet with someone who could help me find Marissa. While waiting for a reply I went to my roommate's room.

"Dustin," I called, knocking on the door. He had been my closest friend for nearly eight years. We shared an apartment to share expenses. That and we were a tag team on a local wrestling promotion.

"Yeah Johnny?" he asked, opening the door.

"You'll know what I mean so I'll be blunt. I have to find her. I'm looking now," I said.

"Marissa," he replied in understanding. "But are you sure?"

"I cannot wait any longer. If I can't do it...then I really don't know."

"Okay. I suppose it'll be better if you succeed. You've been getting distracted lately. I know it's because of her."

I nodded. The ping from my phone indicating I received a reply on Messenger went off. I returned to my room and read the message. The meeting was at 8, about twenty minutes from now. I grabbed my car keys and went out the door. The sun was turning things gold as it ascended slowly to the high point it would reach at noon. Already it was fairly hot out. Summers in Canada could be brutal despite popular belief. I got into my car and drove to meet the person who can help me.

I waited in the nearly deserted mall. Only two places were open at the moment. The mall itself served as a transit stop for many city bus routes. Soon a short, beautiful young woman came up to me. She had a great tan, long brown hair and rich brown eyes and large breasts. I knew her since middle school. Her name was Kathleen and was a close friend of Marissa's.

"Kat," I said in greeting.

"Hey Johnny. You wanted to know about Marissa?" Kat asked.

"To the point. I can do that. Where can I find her?"

"Well she works at Pathway Hyundai," Kat suggested.

"That's in...Orlèans. I do not know my way around there so this will be fun," I replied.

"Well I can go with you. I can get you there," Kat offered.

"You would really do that?" I inquired. We had been no more than acquaintances throughout high school and had not got along in middle school. Admittedly her offer to come along was a surprise.

"You asked me to help you. Leaving you to try and find Marissa when you don't know where you're going isn't very helpful," Kat observed.

"Fair enough. We might as well get going now. It's an hour long drive at least," I said. We headed for the parking lot and to my car. I unlocked the doors and opened the passenger side for Kat. She smiled and got in. I walked around to the driver's side and got in as well. Putting the key in the ignition, I started my car and drove out of the parking lot.

The drive wasn't exactly silent. Even in my serious state I could not handle the boredom of an hour long drive with nothing else to do but focus on the road. Kat and I talked about high school, how she kept in contact with a lot of people from our graduating class and I did not. She told me of what she was doing now and I informed her I had taken a leave of absence off work to find Marissa, except from my appearances wrestling. I told Kat that I honestly thought I was trying to do the right thing.

"It is a questionable relationship, I agree. Omar seduced Marissa when she was vulnerable. But he does take care of them," Kat pointed out.

"I know. To maintain outward appearances so no one suspects an abusive relationship. However I still love Marissa and can no longer tolerate this. I could bring myself to love Kaysan as well, for he cannot help his parentage," I explained. "Speaking of which, that reminds me of another question."

"Yes?" Kat asked.

"If both Marissa and Omar are working at the same time, who watches Kaysan? Aren't most daycares closed during the summer?" I wondered.

"I guess a friend or relative watches them," Kat suggested, shrugging.

Eventually we had made it to the part of the city known as Orlèans. Actually, Ottawa was a collection of cities all making up one overall, much like New York City. As I said earlier, I had no idea where I was going. I relied on Kat's directions and eventually found the Hyundai dealership Marissa worked at. I parked in the lot though my car was a Chevrolet. I did not think to be here long so there was likely no issue. I sat in my car a while longer. I was not hesitating, just thinking of what to say. My mind made up, Kat and I walked into the dealership.

"Can I help you?" an employee asked.

"I wondered if I might quickly speak to one of your sales representatives. Her name is Marissa Currie. I only need about five minutes of her time," I said.

"I'm sorry. Marissa isn't in today. But if you need to get her a message, her boyfriend Omar is in. He's a mechanic. Shall I ask him over?" the employee inquired.

"No. I'll just...call her. That would be better anyway," I answered quickly. If he found out I was looking for Marissa, I'd rather not cause any trouble. Not yet anyway.

Back in my car I sighed in frustration. Then I calmed down. I knew this wouldn't be easy. Expecting to find Marissa at work definitely would've been too easy. With no need to remain here, I pulled out of the dealership's lot. It was time to figure out my next step. Fortunately Kat was still with me and willing to help.

"What can I do now? Do you know where Marissa lives?" I asked her.

"Somewhere in Greely. I've never been to her house," Kat answered. I sighed. Marissa's neighbourhood was clear on the other side of the city. But there was no point in going there.

"Alright, I'll drop you off wherever you want and you can try calling her. Tell her I'm looking for her, Kat. Then you can get back to me," I decided.

"If that's what you want."

*****

Dustin and I were in the locker room. Our match had ended some time ago and we were tending to ourselves. I had been through two tables and let me tell you, that is rather painful. My ribs were taped up now and there were bandages from where the jagged edges of the wood cut me. Dustin, for the most part, had been beaten around with several steel chairs. The things we go throw to put on a good show.

"I hate these no disqualification matches," Dustin muttered.

"Really? Suddenly you hate being able to do whatever the hell you want in the ring?" I asked.

"Well, love/hate I guess," he admitted.

I checked my phone for any notifications. One missed call. Unlocking my screen, I checked to see who it was from. It was Kat. She had left a message on my voicemail. I called and listened to the message. Kat said that she got in touch with Marissa. That was the good news. The bad news was Marissa was not able to meet me somewhere...yet. She had to return to work, where of course she would be near her boyfriend.

We left the place where our wrestling promotion held its shows. It wasn't an arena; they just commandeered the basement of the building where the owner had his office. The drive home was short but I had a plan made by the time we got back. I would lay low for a couple of days. It would be an agonizing wait but necessary. If Omar knew Kat called Marissa on my behalf he would be suspicious. By not acting it would hopefully seem like I lost interest or gave up. And with my ribs bruised...well it may be better to rest a bit.

The next day I was up early as per usual. It was the 23rd of July, Kaysan's third birthday. I would not be able to find Marissa today even if I had been searching. But taking today and tomorrow off meant resuming my efforts Saturday. I had no idea if Marissa worked on Saturday. Finding her would be harder or easier depending on whether she worked. Still, I had to stay with it until I knew I could help her or not. Otherwise it would just be more torment and regrets.

Dustin left for work at about 6:30. He had to be there for 8 and it was over an hour away. I myself had almost exactly two weeks until my leave of absence was over. After breakfast I decided to take care of some things around the apartment. Had to pass the time somehow. It took me longer than usual to clean the whole place but then I was purposely going slow. I could have done my normal pace but why antagonize the rib pain? Getting through the rest of today and tomorrow would be agonizing.

Thursday and Friday went by slowly as I thought. It was time to get going again. I needed Kat's help once more. I called her, asking about whether Marissa worked weekends.

"Not usually. Sometimes they call her in because someone else can't make it. But today she's free," Kat replied.

"Could you get her to call me? I have a feeling it's now or never. Please. You know how much this means to me," I said.

"Okay. I'll get her in touch with you as soon as I can."

It was a long wait. I guessed Kat was having difficulty getting hold of Marissa. The brief time I had her on Facebook it was hours between messages sometimes. Of course Kaysan had been about 8 months old then. I supposed a three year old was just as hectic to deal with. Still, the wait certainly didn't exactly assure me everything was fine. At about 11am my phone finally rang.

"Johnny?" Marissa asked.

"Yes. It is good to hear your voice again," I replied. It was true. I had not heard the sweetness of her voice in over two years.

"So what's this about? Kat said it was urgent."

"Marissa, if you remember everything about us, the love we had but never got to fully experience, then you know that's why I needed to talk to you. I failed you once before and the resulting circumstances led to us being estranged. For two years I did nothing but suffer emotionally for what I ended up causing. No more. I want to take you away from this. We can be together finally but only if that is your wish. If not, I will walk away and never bother you again," I explained.

There was crying on the other end of the phone. Her tears. I did not know the reason for them but I wished I was there right now to brush Marissa's tears away.

"I never stopped loving you either. All this time I wanted to let you know everything was okay between us. But I never had the chance. Now I do. If we could be together then that is what I truly want," Marissa said through her tears. Tears of joy.

"I can come get you right now. If you want me to," I offered.

"Yes. Please. I've never wanted anything more than to be with you," Marissa answered.

She gave me her address and I was there as fast as possible while obeying legal speed limits. We were packing her things as well as Kaysan's. My car's trunk was going to be quite crowded. But it was necessary. The rest of their stuff would have to wait until tomorrow. Omar would be working again and no matter what he did after discovering his "girlfriend" and son he wouldn't know where to look. And he couldn't hurt them anymore.

"What about Kaysan's bed?" Marissa inquired.

"It will have to wait. I'm sorry. Is there somewhere he can stay tonight?" I replied.

"He can stay with my parents. They're in Rockcliffe if you remember," she said.

"That's perfect. I don't live too far from them now so you won't have to worry," I informed her.

Marissa smiled her relief. After getting everything into my car, we drove up to the neighbourhood of Rockcliffe. I waited in the car while Marissa dropped her son off with his grandparents. She left a bag so he'd have a change of clothes in the morning and explained she'd pick him up then. Marissa wouldn't tell them anything specific. Best to save that for later. She said her goodbyes and returned to my car.

That evening we sat together on my bed. I held Marissa tightly, taking in everything about her. No longer was her hair golden; she had dyed it brown. It still looked good on her though. Her eyes were still the beautiful blue I knew so well. Marissa's breasts had always been small but they were firm and perky. More noticeable than they had been when I first met her. She nestled into my arms and I kissed her neck.

"This is what I always wanted. To be safe in your arms," Marissa murmured.

"I have waited as long as you. I can't believe it's finally happening for us," I replied.

"Kiss me," she whispered, turning to face me.

I kissed her slowly. She kissed back, wrapping her arms around my neck. It was our first kiss in all the time we knew each other. It stayed slow but soon enough it was filled with all the passion we had for one another. Shortly after that we were making out hotly, caught up in the love we never physically experienced. We fell to a laying down position, side by side facing each other. In the throes of our passion I was eventually in just my boxers and Marissa in her bra and panties. That was when she became hesitant and pulled away. I let her take her time.

"I want to make love to you, Johnny. I've always wanted it. But...I'm not on the pill. And knowing you as well as I do, that you don't have sex regularly, I'm betting you don't have condoms," Marissa said.

"If this is really what you want, then we can wait a while longer and I can get protection," I suggested.

"Just...let me taste you. I'll decide after," Marissa decided.

She unhooked her bra and pulled off her panties. Then she reached for my boxers but I stopped her. I looked over the beauty of my lover, her tight body, firm breasts, her long legs. Her tan was gorgeous. Eventually I pulled off my boxers, exposing my hard cock. Marissa crawled between my legs. She stroked my cock near the base as the licked its length. Wasting no time, she soon took it in her mouth. Her perfect pink lips felt so wonderful as she sucked hard. I held her head in my hands.

Marissa kept stroking before taking more of my cock in her mouth. She started thrusting it inside her. I could tell she was skilled at this. My love continued, thrusting very hard as she managed to lick my cock at the same time. Eventually Marissa was deep throating my cock, sucking as hard as she could. I would not last much longer. I ejaculated, sending my semen down her throat. She swallowed it then laid down beside me.

"Forget the protection. I'm willing to take the risk if you are," she whispered.

"Are you certain?" I asked.

"Yes. Make love to me now. Please."

I kissed her deeply and she kissed back. I then licked along her breasts before kissing down her flat stomach. I sat up and slowly pushed my cock inside her, thrusting steadily. Marissa smiled and began to moan. It felt wonderful to finally express our love like this. Marissa's pussy was nice. It didn't seem like she had given birth to anyone. Though admittedly, I did not know what it was supposed to feel like. None of the few girls I had been with were mothers.

Marissa moaned from my thrusts. I wanted to take my time. She deserved to be loved properly. I owed that to her since she was willing to do this with me. My pace remained slow but still steady as I filled her pussy with half of my cock. She pulled me down to kiss me. It was just as passionate as our others had been. I slipped my tongue inside her mouth. Marissa squealed eagerly and our tongues danced. After a while she broke our kiss.

"Please Johnny, I need more. You've waited so long for this. So have I. Let me feel your full love for me," Marissa begged.

There was no argument against that. Slowly I pushed the rest of my cock in. I knew that it wouldn't have hurt her to go in roughly. But I loved her. She was much more to me than anyone else and deserved a caring lover if that was supposed to me. I began thrusting harder and faster. Marissa screamed and moaned in pleasure as her breasts started to bounce. It was great to know I was the reason for her pleasure.