For the Love of a Child Ch. 02

Natalie walked out to the car. More like she waddled, but she was moving quickly. She was nine months pregnant and was attempting to make her way to the hospital to give birth. She had had an uneventful pregnancy, which was nice considering how eventful the time leading up to her pregnancy had been. Natalie and her husband Alex had been trying for three years and had finally conceived either right before or right after Natalie had gone away for two weeks. Natalie hated this. She hated to be told that 'if you relax it will happen' since it made her feel like it was something she and her husband were doing that was causing their infertility.

Natalie and Alex got to the hospital and in just a few hours their beautiful daughter, Alana, was born. She was so perfect and the new parents were able to hold and cuddle their daughter until it was time for mom and baby to move to their hospital room. The hospital stay was overwhelming with so many new visitors. Just as they were about to leave, their whole world changed.

"Um, Natalie. Alana seems to have blue lips. Is that normal?"

Natalie rushed over and saw her daughter struggling to breath. She quickly hit the button for the nurse and what happened next was a blur in both their minds. The nurse came in and after seeing Alana called a code of some sort that caused four doctors and nurses to rush into the room. Alana was moved to the observation table and before the new parents had a chance to think, she was taken away to the intensive care.

"Mr. and Mrs. White, your daughter has a rare heart condition and will require open-heart surgery. The surgery will occur tomorrow and she will be in the hospital for at least a week. Do you have any questions?"

Alex and Natalie sat in the office. They did not hold hands as the surgeon explained the surgery along with the risk factors. As they walked to the car, they didn't say a word. The few inches separating them in the car were like miles as they realized the severity of the situation.

The next morning, they arrived at the hospital and waited in a small waiting room while the surgery took place. They were updated on a regular basis and at the end of the day, entered the intensive care unit to see their newborn daughter. She was full of tubes and very swollen. You could see the large scar down her chest where they had to cut her open. Natalie and Alex sat by her bedside all night and left when the sun rose.

As they entered their house something was different. They no longer spoke unless it was something regarding a trip to the hospital or a phone call from a loved one. The stress of dealing with Alana's long recovery was taking its toll on their relationship. After two weeks Alana was still in the hospital and Alex needed to go back to work. His days were filled with work during the day and being at the hospital in the evening. Alex and Natalie crossed paths at the hospital, but their conversation was always about Alana's medication schedule, her feeding schedule, or her temperament.

Finally, Alan was home and Natalie was excited to get into a normal routine of being at home with her new daughter. Alex was always a great help and was wonderful with Alana, helping out with everything except for dirty diapers. Slowly, a routine was formed and their lives revolved around Alana. As the love for their daughter increased, the love between the two of them decreased. Every day passed with Alana doing something new and amazing. They put all their energy and time into their daughter, but their marriage was slowly disintegrating.

On Alana's four-month birthday, Alex realized that he had yet to make love to his wife after the birth of their daughter. He put Alana to bed and crawled into bed to cuddle with his wife.

"You don't have to. I don't really want to anyway."

That was the response from Natalie as she rolled over and tried to fall asleep. Alex was stunned, but didn't want to push his wife and so rolled over and fell asleep. Natalie lay in bed holding back tears. She didn't feel anything for her husband anymore and it was so scary.

This coldness at night continued until Alex no longer tried to kiss his wife. Natalie was hurt and relieved at the same time. She was hurt because she wanted so much to be close to the love of her life again, but she was relieved that he wasn't trying anymore since she didn't want to refuse him or think that he was doing this just to please her.

Time flew by as Alana grew up and before they knew it Alex and Natalie rarely spoke. In front of their friends and family they were the perfect couple, but behind closed doors it was a different story. They were like best friends raising a child together, not a couple in love bringing a new life into the world.

On a sunny May morning as the family was getting ready, Alex blurted out.

"I want a divorce."

"Fine." That was the only response he got from her and he was more frustrated than stunned at her statement. He wanted her to fight, to say no, and to get mad. He wanted something other then the emotionless "fine" that he just got.

"Fine."

Alex went to work and tried to immerse himself in it. He knew he should be calling a lawyer, but thought that she would say something to stop him. At the end of the day, when he came home, everything was the same including his relationship with his wife.

***

"Alana crawled for the first time today."

Natalie tried to sound upbeat, but every time she spoke to her husband it was strained. Alana was almost six months old and they had been spending the last few months in the same house, but were miles away from each other. They slept in the same bed, but the little space between them made all the difference. Alex immersed himself more and more in his job and spent evenings and weekends at work. Natalie began to worry about what he was doing and after searching his cell phone realized he might be going to strip clubs. She didn't dare accuse him of anything since she was reading erotic stories online. She needed an outlet and six months without making love with her husband was taking its toll.

Whenever the family went out and did things together, they looked like the perfect family. They were keeping things together for their daughter and so far it was working out.

"You really love her don't you?"

Natalie blurted out this statement one afternoon as she watched her husband play with Alana. He was so loving and caring and such an amazing person. She could tell it in his eyes that Alana had become the most important person in his life.

"Of course I do."

"Do we stay together for her?"

Alex bit his lip and realized what his wife was saying. His mind flooded with different thoughts and he tried to figure them out. Should they have divorced early? Should they try to reconcile?

"Sure."

So that was the decision. They had tried so hard to get pregnant and had gone through so much after their daughter was born. They were not going to ruin their perfect family. They never did divorce. Alex had suspicions that Natalie was chatting with someone online, but never said anything. Natalie assumed Alex was going to strip clubs, but turned a blind eye. They both pretended nothing was wrong. Sitting on the floor of the den playing with their daughter, they realized they had to do it for the love of a child.