For the Love of Hanna

I do not remember much about that time. My mother tells me that Maddy and I did not initially get along. On more than one occasion, my mother separated us because of our habit of fighting over the same toys. She thought that I played with Maddy much the way I confronted my older brother Alex. So quite frequently I found myself standing attention in the corner for 'being too rough' with Madeline.

In contrast to my behavior, Mom thought that Maddy was a perfect angel. She was always polite, obedient and quick to help her whenever she could. I think that Mom's bias in favor of her future daughter-in-law had its origins in those years.

My own attitude about Maddy began to change when we entered kindergarten. Mom was still watching Maddy for her mother and one of her duties was to walk Maddy, Alex and myself to and from school each day. Mom instructed Alex to always look after me as his younger bother and I was instructed to look after Maddy as if she were my sister.

I'm not sure if Maddy was told about my mother's edict but one result of that dictate was that we always walked home from school together when we were allowed to travel on our own. I became very protective of her and she responded by treating me first like her brother, and then like a close confidant.

She had a calming effect on me. I was always a bit hyperactive except when I was with her. She was the only girl in my small circle of friends, and what I learned about girls I was taught by Maddy. Perhaps the most important lesson I learned from our friendship ironically was how to trust women, and how not to be afraid to be open and honest with them. With Maddy, that honesty came easy.

I never understood then what she saw in me but there was a bond of trust between us. At times, I thought she treated me as another member of her family. Of course, she was a regular visitor in our home and ate dinner with us several times a week. That level of familiarity inspired trust.

With Maddy, trust is everything. She does not show her emotions except around those closest to her. With those, she trusts she is very affectionate. Never a day went by that I was not hugged or squeezed or kissed when we were together.

When she had her first menstruation, she told me before anyone else. She was scared when she reached me. Of course, that was a bit too much information for my twelve-year old brain to handle so I took her to my Mom. Whatever they discussed between them I do not know. But Maddy thanked me the next day on our way to school. Why she never approached her own mother about her problem was not shared with me.

Since Maddy seemed to spend most of her free time in our home, I had little interaction with Mrs. Doucet. At the time, she seemed a harsh woman. She was very pretty but she rarely smiled. This was in contrast to her husband who was constantly smiling or laughing. I did not see Mr. Doucet that often but our encounters were memorable.

He was a very tall man, perhaps six feet four or five inches, and he had a booming voice that drew your ear. However, what I remember most was his sense of humor and the very affectionate attention he always showed Maddy. I cannot remember a time they were together when they did not greet one another with a hug or a kiss. It is funny now but I cannot easily recall his face but I can hear his voice and his laughter.

By the time, we reached our teens I had become Maddy's closest friend. We were unofficially boyfriend and girlfriend. I do not know where we would gone with that relationship, because shortly after Maddy turned fourteen her father died in an accident on the job. Maddy was devastated. She had adored her father. With him gone, her mother decided to move them to southern New Jersey to be closer to her own family.

We corresponded for a time, as did Maddy and my mother. After a year or so the letters stopped. The loneliness and sorrow of her early writings gradually become replaced by stories focused on her new friends. I was not interested in them and Maddy seemed to shy away from telling me about HER life, so I stopped writing. In time, Maddy became a fond though distant memory.

I went off to college in Pittsburgh then to work back in Philly. Maddy went to college in New Jersey and then on to graduate school in Baltimore. She became a nurse and then took her Masters in health care administration. Me, I was more inclined towards accounting and then somehow ended up working as a management consultant in a computer firm. We traveled in separate career and social circles and it looked like we were destined never to see each other again.

Then one weekend I was visiting my parents at their apartment. As I opened the door, I saw this woman sitting next to my mother on the sofa. She looked vaguely familiar. So after I hugged my mother I turned to her guest and was surprised by the speed in which she rose from her seat. I was embraced in a bear hug accompanied by a kiss on my cheek; and then I knew…it was Maddy. It seemed that my mother and Maddy had never ceased communicating all those years. They were actually waiting for me to arrive. Of course, I did not know all of this that at the time.

When I caught my breath, I took a good look at her. She was only a few inches shorter than my six feet. Her hazel eyes sparkled as she appraised me. She still had those same dark eyebrows and there was that wide smile that warmed me when we were fourteen. She had of course donned a new hairstyle, a long French braid that accented her raven tresses.

I could not tell much more about her body since she was wearing a business suit with a skirt at mid calf. What I did see was very pleasing to my eyes. Maddy had turned into a very attractive woman. My assessment of her was obvious because of the huge smile that never left my face the entire time she visited.

Before she left, I had her phone number and her new address in town. To make a long story short, we spoke on the phone later that night, had several dates over the next couple of weeks and were engaged a month later. Was it quick? You betcha. We just knew we were meant for each other. Of all the important decisions I had made as an adult, the one to marry Maddy was the only one I never second-guessed.

My family was supportive of our engagement as were most of Maddy's relatives. The one person who did not share our enthusiasm was Maddy's mother. Surprisingly it was not the speed of our engagement that concerned her, nor did she dislike me as a son-in law. She simply did not want Maddy to marry.

Mrs. Doucet had changed after her husband's death. Her tragedy soured her on all marriage. She begged Maddy to reconsider her decision. She reasoned that investing too much in any man was sure way to a lifetime of pain. I felt sorry for her, but I never saw any indication that Maddy shared that point of view.

Chapter 3: Absence of Suspicion

I arrived at my office the next day still thinking about my conversation the previous night. Around mid-day, I checked my private email account and over two dozen notes that had been forwarded to me from Mrs. Davenport. These were notes authored by her husband to Maddy as well as to a man named Gerard. Additionally, there was other correspondence from Maddy as well.

The emails were all sent as attachments to notes authored by Mrs. Davenport. She had printed the originals as pdfs to avoid the tracking mechanism normally associated with forwarding. It was a slick trick, one I had taught Maddy a couple of years ago when someone sent her a secured communiqué. While I was impressed with her technique, the content was underwhelming.

Frankly, the correspondence between Maddy and her husband were all professional exchanges on matters either dealing with her career, the hospital or their interest in the graduate school. Their tone was friendly and polite yet somewhat clinical. It was apparent to me that Maddy was the initiator of those conversations.

These notes between Maddy and Davenport went back almost eighteen months. I concentrated on the more recent ones because they provided an opportunity to study Maddy's mood and perhaps her intent. I read those several times and was left with the impression that Maddy was seeking something, but she was circling around not willing to mention it directly.

The emails from Davenport to this Gerard person were another matter. These were more recent, the oldest being about nine months ago, just before her pregnancy. Both men discussed Maddy extensively. Davenport referred to Maddy's energy in bed while Gerard kept going on and on about how she dressed at work and the amount of times they flirted while alone together in either's office. To hear him say it Maddy was an eager participant who often started each episode of flirting. Fortunately, they never went further, but Gerard certainly saw that there was potential for greater intimacy.

It was obvious that Gerard was seeking advice on how to proceed, asking Davenport to be his mentor in the seduction. Davenport for his part was feeding Gerard a lot of information on my wife. There were anecdotes about her fear of the water, about her love of certain foods, her love of the ballet; he even discussed her fear of abandonment after losing her father. All of these insights by Davenport amounted to a serious breach of trust, so much so that I debated forwarding these notes to Maddy herself.

When I finished reading, I was concerned about this man named Gerard. I could not recall any Gerard working with Maddy and I had met most of her office-mates at the job or at the various functions, she and I attended. The rolodex in my mind called up each male I remembered from those parties. I could not recall an inappropriate remark or a passing glance that indicated some lustful intent towards my wife. Of course, my recollection was clouded by the last such party just weeks before. Seeing my wife eight months pregnant was not the fuel of erotic dreams…unless you were her husband.

Then there was Maddy herself, she was consumed with the arrival of our baby. If there were ever a time to worry about some possible adulterous behavior it was not now. Once the baby arrived, there would be time to investigate the roots of Felicity Davenport's concerns. The emails failed to show any 'smoking gun'. Until I had one, I would file the matter away in a corner of my mind.

The next few weeks were marked by our complete concentration on the baby…and Maddy's condition. We tried numerous diversions to relieve the tension. I opted to work from home during that time. It was pleasure helping her prepare the Christmas decorations and going with her to the numerous parties to which we were invited. There was only one downside to the holidays.

Maddy was sleeping very poorly and keeping us both awake. On a few nights, she awoke to nightmares where she imagined the baby being born deformed. I knew she was anxious, almost as anxious as I was. It was one thing to plan and pregnancy another to actually have a baby.

At 2am on January 4th Maddy woke me from what had been my first sound sleep of the week. Her water had broken. We left the apartment with military precision and were at the hospital within minutes. Less than half an hour after we arrived so did Hanna Marie Treadway; and for only the second time in my life, I knew pure unadulterated joy.

The eight pounds and seven ounces of her being seemed so light in my arms. No one had prepared me for baby's skin; it was so soft that I feared harming her from holding her too tightly. Most of all there was the way she looked at me with those big eyes that conveyed so much trust and love. One look and I was smitten for life.

Two days later Maddy was home and our lives were forever changed. From the beginning, we shared all of the parenting responsibilities. With the exception of breast-feeding, I was ever present to see to Hanna's needs. A month later and we had settled into a nice routine with Hanna that allowed us time to ourselves as well as the ability to match our sleeping patterns to hers.

Now a mother, Maddy was the happiest I had ever seen her. She never lost that glow she had when she was pregnant. With very few stretch marks, she regained her figure within a month of the delivery. I don't' know how she managed to have her waist return to 24 inches, but the effect gave Maddy curves that most women envied. Of course having a 36C bust size added a lot to her picture perfect figure too.

She radiated sensuality and I was eager to resume our sex life, and so I sensed was she. Spooning with her in bed each night was increasingly frustrating. Her doctor indicated that we needed to wait a few more weeks before engaging in vaginal sex. We could have sought oral relief but I was afraid that once we started down that route I would be unable to stop our inevitable slide into intercourse. The fact that Maddy was her affectionate self did not help matters either.

About seven weeks into this purgatory, I was again in my downtown office when I received a call from Felicity Davenport. To be quite honest I had filed away Maddy's supposed indiscretions. I saw no change in her attitude towards me, if anything Maddy was more passionate today than before her pregnancy. So it was with some degree of annoyance that I picked up this call from the other Dr. Davenport

"Hello Dr. Davenport. It has been some time since we've talked. How are you?"

"I think we are beyond those introductions. Please call me Felicity", she stated in tone that seemed more familiar and friendly.

"Felicity it is then, and please call me Danny. I was wondering when we would talk again."

"How are you adjusting to fatherhood?"

"Much better than I expected…very well actually."

"Congratulations. I'm happy for you. However, this does not change anything. Since you haven't called me I take it that you either haven't read the documents I sent you or you don't consider them worthy of your concern."

"I read most of them…and I'm still not convinced. For one, I am having a hard time understanding their motives. If I were to infer the worst, I might even conclude that my daughter might be his child."

"I never said she was Mitchell's daughter. I would be shocked if she was. He is not THAT stupid. His game is blackmail not procreation, and Mitchell has not given up. I'm sending you his most recent emails to his confederate. I also believe that he has called your wife recently to reassert his claim. If I know Mitchell, he will continue to hound her until he gets his way. "

Her last statement was like a slap in the face. My mood darkened as a result. My voice then conveyed the real fear I now felt.

"Oh, I hear Hanna. Felicity, can I call you back, say in an hour? I'd really like to talk with you more about these emails."

"Sure Danny. I'll be here all afternoon."

I hung up the phone and immediately started bringing up the documents I had not read. I purposely had read the notes dating from right before Maddy's pregnancy and skipped the older ones. Well, I hadn't exactly skipped all of them. I simply read a couple and finding nothing of interest moved on to the more recent writings.

When I looked at the remaining emails, I was appalled. There were several authored by Maddy that were particularly disturbing. I suddenly had my motive, or Maddy's at least. She was desperate for a baby. Due to some complications related to ovarian cysts, she mostly likely would not be able to conceive normally. She was however, an ideal candidate for artificial insemination.

Maddy had pleaded with Davenport to see if she could arrange payments for the treatments. She explained our financial situation but offered to make good on the debt by making payments. When rebuffed she offered to provide other professional services for his next book. That too was refused. She kept proposing various arrangements.

These exchanges went on for over a month until Davenport made an offer that she immediately rejected. Several notes later, she relented. Maddy had traded sex for fertility treatments, and evidently, her bargain called for "installment" payments! To say that I was shocked was an understatement. I called Felicity Davenport back moments later.

"Dr. Davenport you talk as if you knew this was going to happen. I've reread all of the emails and I take you at your word that you know your husband has called Maddy. But let us be 100% truthful with one another. You want something from me and you have since we first met. You weren't stalking Maddy, you were stalking me. Now I'd like to know just what it is you want."

There was a long pause as she let my words sink in. I was determined that she speak next. If I offered another word, it would be counterproductive. Mrs. Davenport was playing me and I did not like to be played. If she wanted my help, she needed to make her case and do so directly.

"I am sorry to have done this to you Danny. In answer to your question, I thought it only fair that you know what was going on. Mitchell has always had a roving eye. I tried to ignore it because of our son. I suppose…"

She was having trouble continuing. She added, "I suppose I would have lived with his infidelities if they were consensual. But the idea that he would use the desperation of young women as a means to satisfy his libido…that…well, it has to stop."

We ended the call on that note but the conversation lingered in my mind the rest of that day. Even after I read her emails, I could not shake a growing feeling of dread. I didn't know what Maddy was going to do about her "deal" with Davenport. Furthermore, Felicity Davenport was still holding something back and that gnawed at me too. First, I needed to put a wrench in Maddy's plans.

The Maddy I knew was honest to a fault. If she made a bargain, she would fulfill her end. Would she go through with it if she knew it would hurt me? Would Maddy deliberately take an action that she knew might end our marriage? No, she would not.

The problem was that I knew her too well. In all of our short married life, we had never had a real argument. I had never been angry with her or even raised my voice when we disagreed on a subject. We had never been tested as a couple and that fact alone worried me. I based much of my understanding of her from our pre-teen years together.

If I knew my wife, she would indeed try to resolve the problem with Davenport by the selling herself. She would also try to keep the entire bargain a secret from me. She would she sleep with him, though not for love, or I hoped not for love. My stomach went into knots when I thought that she might have some feelings for that man and perhaps was still attracted to him.

To fulfill the deal was bad enough. To be in love with Mitchell was another problem entirely. Surely, Maddy did not love him. I knew she loved me, and she loved Hanna. Hanna. Would her love for Hanna stop her?

Love could produce strange feelings. I loved Maddy so much that when she told me she was pregnant I worried if I would have any love left over for our child. It was an irrational thought. I realized my error as soon as Hanna was born. One love did not detract from the other, if anything I loved them both more. Could Maddy have the same feelings about Davenport and me? Could she balance both of us in her heart? No, it did not matter. I would not share her…ever.

For me there was only one course of action. I would tell Maddy I knew about her and Davenport, but not just yet. I needed to know if she could continue to deceive me as part of her bargain. That meant waiting to tell her. There would come an appropriate time, until then I would carry on normally.

Chapter 4: Exposure

Felicity called two days later. She told me that Mitchell had spoken with Maddy. She had been given a date. They were to rendezvous on April 10th. She had two months to decide. How Felicity learned about this meeting, I don't know. I wondered if she had a spy in Mitchell's office. I could not believe she could have acquired this much information acting alone. In any event, that call caused me to watch Maddy more closely.