For the Love of Hanna

"The desire for children is very strong in women son. Just remember that when you talk with Maddy."

My mother placed her hand upon my own and squeezed affectionately. "You can leave Hanna here with us for the rest of the weekend if necessary. I suggest that you call Maddy and meet with her. I know she desperately needs to explain herself to you."

I dialed the number for Mrs. Doucet. She answered immediately.

"Hello, Madam Doucet? It's Danny. May I speak with Madeline please?"

"Hello Daniel. Is there a problem with Hanna?"

"No, she's fine. I just need to speak with Madeline."

They must have been in the same room because I heard most of the exchange. "Madeline, it is your husband" [pause] "I do not know what problem you two have but you cannot settle it if you do not talk…here". A few moments later, I heard a sound as if someone picked up the receiver.

"Danny?" It was Maddy.

"Maddy, can I see you this afternoon?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea. I do not want to argue in my mother's home. Will you promise to keep your temper?"

"I love you Maddy…I will be civil."

There was a very long pause after I said that. When she spoke, I heard a slight tremor in her voice. "Mama has to go out in a few minutes. She'll be gone for several hours so we can talk then if that's OK?"

"Fine, I'm leaving now."

That exchange had gone better than I expected. Perhaps we could accomplish something; certainly, any resolution was better than the current state that defined our marriage.

The city of Salem is about 40 miles southeast of Philadelphia. It is in one of the most rural counties in the state. While making the drive I had time to reflect again on my marriage. I had tried to hide my feelings for Maddy by shutting off our communication. The reality was that I still loved her deeply. My anger wasn't so much centered on her betrayal, which I grudgingly was ready to forgive. But Maddy was smarter than her actions indicated; and yet she had placed our marriage and our child at risk without thinking. The question I could not answer was what drove her to Davenport in the first place. This was her second relationship with this man. Would there be another? For our marriage to have any chance of surviving, he had to be irrevocably in her past.

The Doucet family house was located on a small farm several miles off the main road. This was very pretty country. The house fit the scenery. It was a sprawling Victorian style structure of three stories and some seven bedrooms. It belonged to Maddy's uncle and was shared between his family and her mother. I knew from prior visits that there were currently five residents, excluding Maddy. However, from looking at the garage and the driveway I guessed that everyone was gone.

Maddy opened the front door as I exited the car. She was wearing a print shift dress that did little to accent her body. In fact, it looked as if she had chosen that particular dress from her mother's closet. Her hair was pulled back into a severe bun that acted to highlight what was a very pretty face. However, as I came closer I was able to see that dark circles had formed under her eyes. It was obvious she was without makeup and probably lacked sleep.

The strain of our separation had even affected her posture. Where Maddy always stood and walked erect with the grace and assurance of a ballerina, this version of my wife walked with a casual stoop.

We met at the edge of the porch. Maddy moved forward as if she wanted to embrace me but appeared to change her mind in mid-step. For my part, I simply reached for her hand. She smiled sadly when I touched her then turned to take us into the house.

"Let's go in the sun parlor. I have coffee ready in case you want some."

"Coffee sounds good."

I let her go about getting the coffee as I entered the parlor. That room of the house was surrounding by tall windows on two sides, all of which were partially obscured by the hanging plants that gave the space the feel of a botanical garden.

On the third wall of the room there were framed many pictures of members of Maddy's family. I searched the wall and soon discovered a photo of my small branch. There was Maddy and I with Hanna in a pose taken just after she was born. We looked so happy. .

Maddy entered with a tray just as I was turning away. We moved a little away from the wall to an old but plush sofa that seemed to sigh as we sat. My eyes still went to that picture as I sat with Maddy in front of that wall. "So how are you doing?" I began.

"I'm getting along OK Danny. I'm adjusting to the situation."

"Are you ready to come home?"

"I don't know."

When she said this, she dropped her eyes downward. As she did, I caught sight of a picture just above her head. It was one of Maddy with her mother and father. I slowly rose from the seat and returned to the wall.

"Do you love him Maddy?" I said still staring at the photo with my back to her. The question hung there as I turned to observe her. I already knew the answer but I needed to hear it in her own voice.

"No, and I never did. When I first met him years ago, I was attracted to him. I know it sounds cliché, but there was boldness to him that was hypnotic. Perhaps it was his self-assurance and his intellect. He also had a great sense of humor. That hooked me in the beginning. Then as we spent more time together, I saw how immature he was. He was a loquacious liar. He lied about little insignificant things. I should have seen through him sooner but he projects this innocence. Anyway, we lasted only a couple of months before I found out he was married and still living with his wife. He lied about being divorced. I think he was shocked when I used that knowledge to break it off. No Danny, it was never love."

"Then why?"

"He's a fertility specialist and I wanted a baby. It's that simple."

"Who proposed the exchange? Who thought up sex for the treatments?"

"Mitchell, though to be honest Danny, if he hadn't I would have. I wanted a baby. We planned on one. We kept trying and trying. Then I went to Mitchell to see if he would help me. He tested your sperm and we knew that it wasn't you...it was me. That test he did for free because we were friends."

I folded my arms across my chest and Maddy lowered her eyes away from me. I knew this was painful for her but it had to be said. From what I had just learned there was a lot more confession that needed to be given before we were out of the woods.

"My mother would not understand if I did not have a baby. My family would not understand. I'm an only child. My mother and father had planned on many more children but before they could have more Papa died." She paused as if trying to compose herself. "Mama blamed him. She loved him but she never forgave him for not producing more children. Her family spoke about her behind her back. They love her but they also pity her. She has to bear that shame. I did not want to add to her pain, aside from that I feel like they do. Husbands and wives make babies."

"I was letting down so many. So I asked Mitchell what could be done. He examined me and then referred me to a local doctor for a second opinion. Then he called me back and we talked. He could help me but it would cost at least $ 12,000. When he told me that I told him I would get back to him."

"Our Insurance would not cover the treatments and we didn't have that kind of money lying about. I investigated borrowing the money but that went nowhere. I offered to barter services and he refused. Sometime later Mitchell offered me a way I could afford the treatments."

She stopped briefly, rose nervously from her seat and stood in front of me.

"He wouldn't say it over the phone. He said he had to show me the payment plan and we should best do that in person. He knew you weren't involved so that made it important for us to speak face to face. I knew what he had in mind. He's such a lecher when it comes to women. I would not see him under those circumstances and I wrote him turning down his offer. I tried to appeal to his compassion but in the end, I felt I had no choice. What's worse is that I had even thought about going to him with a similar offer since I knew he would readily go for it."

She continued, "We arranged for installment payments, sex with him for a few weeks prior to the procedure and then...and then again after the baby was born. "

I pulled her to me and held her tightly. She came willingly into my arms crying. Her body was racked by spasms as she left go her shame. I did not need to hear more of the story. The critical points had been said. My Maddy needed me. Mom was right, it was complicated.

You see, I realized that when I saw the picture of her father on the wall. He bore an uncanny resemblance to Mitchell Davenport. The two men might have been twins. Yes, this was complicated. But Maddy needed me. We would get through this. I would get her the help that she required …that I required too.

When Maddy had gained sufficient control of herself, I sat her down on the sofa. There was still one more question though it lacked the severity of the others.

"Maddy, who is Gerard?"

"Gerard?"

"Yes. It is the name of someone who works with you. Do you have anyone in your office that has a G as the first or middle initial of their name?"

"No…wait, there's the Director of Patient services Dr. Henry G. Lorenz. He's David's boss."

I knew David Rittenhouse was her boss and now this man was in a direct line to Maddy. I had a name and a title. I needed to confirm him as the "other" man.

"Why are you asking about Dr. Lorenz?"

"He corresponded with Mitchell Davenport. He was planning your seduction with Davenport's assistance."

Maddy looked up at me in shock. That last piece of information caused another round of tears.

"Maddy if you need to be here for a while longer that's OK. I can wait."

"Noooo Danny. I'll come back with you. My place is with you and Hanna. I DO miss you both. I did not know how much until now. I need to make this right. Please take me home."

We gathered up the few things that Maddy had bought with her and were on the road in less than twenty minutes. As I caught glimpses of her from my seat, I thought I could see the anxiety leaving her body. I hated to have to bring up our next topic but it was necessary.

"An investigation by the Board of Medical Examiners has been opened up concerning Dr. Davenport's activities. You were not the only woman with whom he has traded sexual favors. Are you willing to be interviewed by the investigators?

I heard Maddy shift slowly in her seat. "Will this have to get out Danny?"

"I don't know Maddy, it might. They say they will try to ensure a level of confidentiality to their proceedings. You have to understand that there is likely to be a criminal case against him too. The Baltimore District Attorney will also send investigators. This may all go public. There is no guarantee."

"The press will bring out everything. The embarrassment to you …to our families would be…" she started crying... "This is the only way to make it right." She said softly. "I have to do this. I will answer all of their questions. Danny, I'm so…"

"We already covered that territory. I know you're sorry. I forgive you Maddy. I will be with you every step of the way. You won't be alone in this."

We fell silent after that, lost in our own thoughts. I don't remember the rest of the journey except when we were parking in front of my parents' apartment house. When we entered their apartment hand in hand, I know that both of them noticed our connection. It was a brief but heartfelt visit since our purpose was to collect Hanna and leave.

I cannot express the joy I felt when my wife walked through the door to our home. That joy was shared; for she unbundled Hanna and placed her in her playpen then turned to me with tears in her eyes. We wrapped our arms around one another and stayed that way for a long time. Not a word was said, not a kiss given, just a very warm embrace.

We did not make love that night. We were too anxious from the days' events. But early Sunday morning when she reached for me, we became one.

I took Monday off and called Felicity Davenport. I wanted to let her know that we would be cooperating fully with the authorities, both in the civil and the criminal actions against her husband. Her response surprised me.

"Danny, how is Madeline? Will she be able to face the questioning and the public scrutiny that is likely to result?"

"We'll deal with it Felicity. We both know this has to be done. Maddy is editing her recollections as we speak. Did you know she kept a diary? She has also saved all of her correspondence, and other documentation including credit card bills, hotel receipts, cell phone records, car rentals, and prescriptions. Maddy had these organized before she left."

"She was planning to take him on by herself?"

"Apparently so, I didn't know of course, but I'm not surprised. That's my Maddy." I said with pride in my voice that I'm sure Felicity would be sure to recognize.

"I would like to meet her Danny."

"She says she wants to meet you too. She is very sorry for the hurt she has caused you. We will be in Baltimore next Tuesday for the first conference with the District Attorney's people. Perhaps we can meet then if you have time."

"I'll make time. Danny?"

"Yes?"

"There's one more thing I need to tell you."

"Oh, what's that?"

"Remember when I told you I happened to overhear a conversation between Mitchell and Gerard? I lied. I never heard that first call, though I did hear others. I came to see you last December because a very courageous young woman sent me a letter about a sexual relationship she had had with my husband. That young woman asked for my forgiveness after explaining what she had done. She told me EVERYTHING. She even told me things that she knew that if exposed, might cause her to lose both her husband and her career. That's what motivated me Danny…your wife."

It took me a moment to respond. I think she could hear the emotion in my voice. "Thank you for telling me that Felicity. You don't know how much that means to me."

Of all the decisions I've ever made as an adult, the one decision I never second-guessed was marrying Maddy. Now I knew why.

Epilogue:

Mitchell Davenport did eventually have his medical license revoked. The investigation by the Board of Medical Examiners turned up no less than three women who gave testimony against the good doctor, all the women had traded sex for fertility treatments and all were married.

The DA conducted a parallel investigation. However, Mitchell Davenport prepared for the inevitable indictment. His lawyers negotiated a plea bargain; but before he could have his plea ratified by the judge, he fled the jurisdiction. He is rumored to be in Costa Rica. I doubt I will ever have the satisfaction of meeting him. That is probably for the best.

Concerning Gerard, I did meet him once. It must have been memorable for him because he resigned less than a month after our only conversation. He proved to be a very smart man. That last bit of information I never shared with Maddy, though sometimes I wonder if she does not suspect.

As for Maddy, she is currently in counseling. There are some issues she needs to work through before we have another child. Yes, we're planning another baby. We're adopting this time.