For The Whored: Beyond Ch. 24

Elunara gasped as she sat straight up in bed.

With a groan, Grogek rolled over and tried to blink the sleep out of his eyes. He put a hand on her back as she buried her face in her hands. "What's the matter?"

Pulling her face away from her hands, she looked around the room. Everything was as it should be. Tulani was sleeping blissfully in her bed, and Susan was tucked quietly against Grogek's back. "I need mother."

Grogek struggled to sit up. "Whatever for?"

"I had a dream."

"You never dream."

"I have before..." Elunara trailed off. "I need mother." She repeated. Pushing out of bed, she began digging in the closet.

Susan muttered in her sleep, unhappy that Grogek's form shifted away from her. Grogek gently pushed her back over to her side and tucked the blanket around her. Confident in Susan's continued slumber, Grogek climbed out of bed and put a hand on Elunara's shoulder. "What is the matter? It's a ridiculous hour. She'll be in bed."

Elunara shook her head and pulled her pants on. "This can't wait. This... please, just trust me." She yanked a shirt on over her head.

"You know I do." He brushed his lips over hers. "Promise me you'll tell me what you can?"

"When I know if there's anything to tell." She yanked his head down by a fang, before claiming his mouth. "You keep me sane." She whispered, before turning and walking out.

Once in Darnassus, Elunara made her way to the Temple.

A confused priestess blinked at her. "Goddess, why are you here at this hour?"

"Why do you people insist on calling me that? Where is mother?"

"Sleeping, of course. Should I send for her?"

"If you could just direct me to where ever it is she stays these days..."

Elunara found herself hesitating at her mother's bedroom door. Holding her fist above the wooden door, she stared at the wood grain, the detail work depicting a goddess. She was unwilling to open this can of worms, but she had been compelled all the way here, and now, she needed answers. Knocking on the door, she waited. Sounds pricked at her ears and she winced. Malfurion was sure to be here too.

The door opened and Tyrande opened the door, a soft white robe wrapped around her shoulders. "Elunara? What in the world? Are you aware of the time?"

"I need to speak with you and it's important. Can we speak privately?"

Tyrande looked back at Malfurion, who was rubbing her back. "Is it so sensitive that Malfurion cannot be able to hear it?"

"I... I don't know." Elunara raked her fingers through her hair. "I think... I think I know who my father is... was."

Tyrande's eyes went wide and she dropped the hand clinging to her robe. Malfurion held Tyrande's shoulders and led her to the bed. "I think you should come in." Malfurion nodded to a chair. "Sit."

"I..." Elunara stepped in and closed the door. "I can't sit. Mother... Is it true? Is he...?"

Tyrande shook her head and closed her eyes. "Who told you? How did you find out?"

"No one." Elunara raked her fingers through her hair, holding on for a moment. "I dreamed it."

Tyrande stared at Elunara. "A dream?" She stood up and began to pace back and forth, her robe flapping in the movement of the air of the room.

Elunara found herself diverting her eyes. "Does... he know?" She gestured to Malfurion.

"Yes, child." Malfurion nodded. "We have no secrets."

Tyrande stopped suddenly and stared at Elunara. "Tell me about this dream."

Elunara wrapped her arms around herself. "It was so real. I felt him. I smelled him. He was like an animal, and I couldn't stop him."

Tyrande shuddered. "That you should experience that... no crime is worth that."

"So, it's true..." Elunara shook her head. "You lied to me again. You told me I was on purpose, that you had a child to carry on your line..."

"Would you rather I told you that I had no choice? That you were not only a mistake, but a... a shame? That I couldn't protect myself?"

"I would rather you told me my stupid biological father was Fandral Staghelm! I fucked his son for goddess sake! He was my brother!" Elunara shivered.

"He most certainly was not!" Tyrande shook with the stress of it. "Now you care. Now you wonder. But I had a child, and I wasn't about to let her spend one minute of her life regretting something that I could not control. I was horrified when I realized you were with his son. I tried to discourage it, I tried to get HIM to discourage it, but he just thought it was funny!"

"Calm down the both of you." Malfurion stepped in between the pair. "Your mother was used against her will. You cannot stand here and judge her for that."

Elunara put her hands over her face and sighed. "I'm not." She raked her fingers through her hair again. "I'm not." She repeated, a little more steady. "I'm just so confused. I felt it. Every minute of it. The terror, the disgust, the helplessness. I've only been through that once in my life, and to have it happen again, by... him... it just threw me so far out of myself."

"Elunara..." Tyrande clasped her hands together in front of her. "I've read your books, and I've gone through your life... why was that one time so bad, when all those others... when all that time, those missions, those... incidents did not?"

"Because I've always been in control." Elunara shrugged and looked away, staring at a picture on the wall for a moment, before turning back to Tyrande. "I set it up, I made it work, I could cut my way through every last one of them. When that one man kidnapped me. He bound me. I was no longer in control, I was no longer able to back out, change my mind, or otherwise escape. He did things to me, yes it was like the other times, because the actions were the same..." Elunara rocked her head back and forth. "But he was meaner, he was out to torture me. He cut me in places because he could. He sought to damage my body and my mind as much as possible. By time I was able to get through my bindings, I was near feral with desperation. This night, this dream, when I was trapped beneath that... animal, that musky scent filling my nose, I was back in that place."

Tyrande rushed forward and wrapped her arms around Elunara. "My poor child."

Elunara sighed and returned the hug. "Not so much a child any more, mother. I am sorry you have suffered such a thing. I think I know why you didn't tell me. But, I want to know now. I know more than I ever cared to."

Closing her eyes, Tyrande sighed. "Where to start?" She rubbed her eyes as Malfurion rubbed her shoulder. Looking at the wall, she stared blindly at a painting. "As you know, most of our kind dedicate ourselves to one person, maybe occasionally taking on a side lover. I have never done such a thing. Once I decided on Malfurion..." She put a hand over his. "It has been him. When he was trapped in the dream, I would watch over his body, sometimes I would sit and read to him, sometimes talk about absolutely nothing. But I was dedicated. I have never varied. Fandral seemed to have done the same with his wife. Or, so I thought. So anyone thought, really. If anyone knew the truth... it would be a shock."

"He quietly pursued me. It was subtle at first. I barely even noticed. A word here, a whisper there. Little complements. I had grown used to them from other people, so it wasn't unusual. Then he began to appear in the most random of locations. Constantly bumping into me somewhere or another. He attended ceremonies he had no interest in. Why would a druid of nature care about the light of Elune? Then he began to corner me. Sometimes he even tried to kiss me." She began to pick at her robe. "I discouraged him of course... but he was insistent. Soon he got... graphic in his complements. He tripped straight into harassment. He would tell me that we belonged together. The most powerful among us, the awake shouldn't waste our time with the sleeping. We had no idea when our loved ones would stop being trapped in the dream, why not be together? I denied him.

"At every turn I denied him, I fought him off, I pushed him away. I knew I could do more damage to him, but I held back. By holding back, he was encouraged. I pointed out that he had a wife, but he just cited examples of our kind taking multiple mates. The one night, I left my bedroom window open." Tyrande got quiet. For a long time, she stared at the painting on the wall. After a moment that seemed to drag on, she turned to Elunara. "I do not know what you experienced in your dream, but know that I fought. I fought hard... but he was too much for even me."

Elunara stooped down in front of Tyrande. "I'm sorry, mother. I know... I'm sorry you had to tell me." She wrapped her arms around her mother's waist and held on.

Tyrande ran her fingers through Elunara's hair. "How I have longed for you to embrace me this way, your head in my lap..." She sighed. "I have always felt this intense guilt that the origins of your birth are why you were like you were. No matter how many times you tore through the men like so much fodder, no matter how broken you seemed in mind, I always thought it was my fault."

"No, mother. Never think that. I was terrible. I see that now. I see my life through a hazy, yet sharp mirror. I still don't know why I was the person I was. I've never felt true guilt. Many have tried, all have failed. But you, you should never feel guilt. It was that bastard's fault. Maybe I got my broken emotions from him. Let's face it... no one liked him. I often wondered how he managed to have a wife. To know that he knew who I was, to know that he encouraged me, to know that he found it entertaining makes me want to find a way to capture his soul and torment it for all eternity."

"Oh, my." Tyrande blinked down at Elunara. "You always manage to surprise me."

With some reluctance, Elunara stood up. "Mother, I have told countless women this... You are not at fault. I know you felt weak, helpless, and shameful, but that is wrong. You are the strongest woman I know, because you continue on. You faced him, every day. He was in that tree across the way, and you never once called him out on it. He was a coward. A beast. All he cared about was himself. You cared for a child, a child that should not have existed, a child you couldn't understand, a child that broke your heart at every turn. You could have blamed him, and honestly, you should. But, you don't. Stop this. You take on too much, and I love you for it."

"You..."

Elunara got down on her knees and clasped her hands around Tyrande's. "I love you for the life you tried to give me. Even if I never understood it."

"You've never said you love me before." Tyrande murmured. "In all of your life..."

Elunara smiled and reached up, brushing the tears from her mother's cheek. "Remember, mother, I didn't know how before."

Tyrande slid off the bed and wrapped her arms around Elunara's body. Holding on as if she could fuse their bodies together, Tyrande let the tears stream down her face. "You've made me so happy this night."

Malfurion put a hand on both women's shoulders. "Come now. I hate to break up this moment, but it is still dark out. We are all tired, and this... revelation has pulled on all of our emotions."

Tyrande released Elunara and began to wipe at her face. "Yes, of course, you're right."

Elunara stood first. "I am exhausted." Holding out a hand, Elunara helped her mother to stand. "Please, sleep easier, I now know what I know, and it strains me to think you still hold this over your heart. Let it go, mother. I have."

"You are too kind, young one. I have read your work, I have lived through your pages. I felt a pain you do not even know you have. In just the first few books, I was devastated to think you may have experienced what I lived through over and over again, but you brush it off like a duck in water. I am amazed at how quickly you dismiss and conquer hurts."

Elunara shook her head. "Because they don't hurt."

"I understand that. However, you have felt pain." Tyrande ran her hands over Elunara's arms "You know pain now, and I wonder if it clouds your memories."

"That's just the thing... when I think back, I am detached. I do not see the pain, I do not know the torture. It... tickles."

"Tickles?" Tyrande blinked.

"It was funny at the time. The only things that truly bother me, are the things I've told you about. Cut me open, tear at my skin, I barely feel it, and it tickles."

"That is... disturbing."

Elunara raked her fingers through her hair. "So they say." Her shrug was shaky. "It is difficult to explain. Even now, I can cut my hand open on a knife and say: "look at that". I get cut in the ring when I fight my husbands, and I don't notice until they point it out to me. This fast healing thing is new, but pain... pain is an entertainment to me." Scrubbing her hands over her hair, she sighed and closed her eyes. "It's difficult to explain, and I never put it in my books. My books are from the dry and detailed eyes of a mission specialist. Even when I did things before that, I am... was a tactile creature. I needed the contact to feel... anything. Like I've said before, no love, no hate. No pain.

After I became a mission specialist and I was put into these situations where I would receive an injury, I would take out my dagger and stab myself in other places. It had to hit deep into the muscle to hurt. And it was just plain weird, even to me. I would see targets suffer, I would see assignments in pain, and I wanted to see what it was like... and nothing. Now I understand emotional suffering, but the rest..." Elunara summoned her dagger and raked it across her palm. Watching the wound seal, she showed it to them. "Not a flinch."

"How... bizarre." Tyrande ran her finger over the mark.

"You are an odd child." Malfurion murmured.

"Preaching to the choir." Elunara dismissed her dagger. "A broken bone kind of hurts. When Grogek shattered my ankle, I knew what true pain was then. I've had other broken bones, and those kind of hurt. When I was stabbed through the chest with that sword, that was the mother of all pain. But basically, nothing." Elunara yawned. "I also know what exhaustion is, and mother I am it. Forgive me for waking you at this hour. I should have waited, but I knew I couldn't go back to sleep without finding out the truth."

"I think... after all of this... I am glad you woke me." Tyrande brushed a lock of hair out of Elunara's face. "We have learned so much about each other, in these early morning hours. I wish... I hope you will come back and talk to me more. Just because."

"I think I will." Elunara kissed Tyrande's cheek. "Sleep well, mother. I need to go home and explain to Grogek why I ran off without an explanation."