For Whom The Bell Tolls

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You were having a quiet drink until Kristen Bell walked in.
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Disclaimer: Alright, this story is not to be read by anyone under 18 (or in some certain doomed places) 21. If you get caught jacking off by your mother/father/auntie/uncle/Grand Parent. Keep in mind it's not my fault! Please send me constructive criticism through the Contact tab in my profile.

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Author's Note: Spot the Futurama references! The name's only count as one and the first is a given. There are ten more hidden. I expect posts on the forum or e-Mails :D

I pushed my way into the brand new bar and looked around. There were no familiar faces and I was all alone. Wonderful. Next I'll be buying myself a snake. I walked up to the bar and sat down, ordering myself a Jack Daniels on the rocks, I settled into a late night of drowning my sorrows and praying they couldn't swim. That's when she walked in. A blonde goddess. She was quite short and slender, her legs were shown off by the lack of pants. She had on a black see-through top with a white undershirt on, she also had on a black short skirt with brown Cowboys boots. She was heading my way and I knew I had to talk to her, but she beat me to it.

"Is this seat taken?" Her voice was smooth and sounded so wonderful. I shook my head and offered her the seat. "You by yourself handsome?" She asked me again with a smile on her face as she ordered her drink.

"Not at all. I've got Jack here." I said with the same wicked grin, I lifted my glass and lightly shook it. Showing her the contents of my drink, rattling away happily. She smiled at my antics and scooted her chair closer to mine.

"I like a guy with a sense of humour. So how come you're here by yourself?"

I turned my chair to meet the Goddess' and shrugged. Taking a quick sip, I answered. "I don't know. I guess I was kind of expecting my friends to be here, but no such luck."

She nodded with a sympathetic look on her face. "Shame." She added, herself taking a sip of her own poison. "Although, if they had turned up you wouldn't be able to talk to me now would you?"

Nodding my head in agreement, I smiled and raised my glass. "To friend's not turning up."

The woman smiled and raised her glass, the two beakers lightly knocking against each other in a toasting fashion. "I'm Phillip by the way."

"Kristen. Say, do you not recognise me?" She introduced herself with a smile. Adding that last part with a touch of almost disapproval. Frowning lightly, I turned to her and looked at her face intently. Something did seem to fall into place but I couldn't see what.

"Really sorry but no I don't. Do you live around here?" I took a shot in the dark. "My apartment complex is full up of teenage girlies running around with little to no clothing on. Not that I care or anything of course!" I added, and I didn't want to put her off with the fact that I may have been gay.

The woman laughed out loud at my comments. She looked at me with a soft smile and sighed lightly. "I'm on TV. Veronica Mars? Heroes? Ringing any bells?"

My brain started to put a name to her face, when I realised who she was I gasped. "Kristen Bell?"

"Ding" Ding! Ding! We have a winner! Jeez, that's flattering though. I can still get a drink from guys without them knowing who I am." Kristen said with a smile as she dusted off her drink.

"It helps that you're really hot too." I corrected her, as I picked up her tab for the drink.

Kristen blushed lightly and shrugged her shoulders. "Am I hot? I hadn't noticed..." Crooking an eyebrow lightly, I smiled and we settled down to talking about things close to us.

"So, how come you're in a dive bar like this?" I asked, sipping happily at my J+D.

Kristen thought about the answer before speaking up. "Well, Hollywood can always be a bitch for celebrities trying to get a quiet drink. Fortunately, Attention Whore Heidi Montag turned up and took the attention away from me, letting me escape. Besides, you can't beat a nice quiet drink from time to time."

"Amen to that my sister." I said with a light smile, as I myself dusted off my drink and placed it on the bar. More and more people started to flood into the bar, setting their coats down by me and Kristen. She started to look uncomfortable, so I decided to play the smooth move and suggest we leave.

"My place is like five minutes away. We could hang out there I suppose." I suggested, keeping the hope out of my voice. Kristen mulled this over for a few moments before nodding her head.

"Alright, that sounds awesome. Lead the way Phil!"

Ah, my pet peeve. "Phillip. My name's Phillip. Phillip J. Fry."

"Like Futurama?" Kristen said with her head tilted to her side slightly.

Sighing, my head fell and I just nodded. "Yeah. Just like him, come on let's go."

We walked up to the door of the bar, I brushed past her lightly and held the door open for her. I caught a bashful smile on her face as we moved out into the cool air. "Yeesh. It got cold didn't it?" Kristen said with a slight shake as the cool Autumn air brushed against her body.

"Yeah, can't believe this weather we've been having! It's roasting hot one day and other days it's like Santa's Death Fortress on Neptune...Only without the homosexual Elves of course..."

Kristen giggled lightly and nodded like she knew what I was talking about it. We started walking up the road where I saw Mrs Pannucci, who owned my local Pizza shop. "Hi Mrs Pannucci!" I said cheerily as I also saw her husband Gino studying hard with a 'Teach Yourself English Audio book." He seemed to be repeating one word over and over again. "Is he struggling with that?" I asked politely as she turned to her husband. Mrs Pannucci was amazing. She had been in the country for nearly 3 months and she was practically fluent in the language.

"No, it's stuck on a loop and he's an idiot." She said with a wry smile as I introduced Kristen.

"Mrs Pannucci, this is Kristen."

Kristen extended her hand for Mrs Pannucci to shake. However, Mrs Pannucci gasped lightly. "She's so pretty! What's she doing with you?"

Both me and Kristen had a good laugh at that as Mrs Pannucci welcomed us in. "Please you both come in and have some Pizza! It's really good, customers decide they don't want any. You can have it for free!"

I turned to Kristen with a big goofy grin on my face. Kristen however had an unsure look on her face.

"Mrs Pannucci, I don't mean to be rude but it doesn't have meat on it does it? I'm a vegetarian you see." Kristen said, grinding her hands together. Hoping not to upset my second mother.

Mrs Pannucci held up her hand for a second to signify 'One moment' and she disappeared into the back. She then came back with the Pizza box smelling lovely. "It is your lucky day. Pizza is quadruple cheese. You like?"

I looked over to Kristen and we shared the yes though. "Yes Mrs Pannucci, that would be lovely. Kristen said with a smile. Mrs Pannucci brought both her hands up with the pizza and placed it on the table closest to us. As we both took a seat, Mrs Pannucci smiled and lightly clapped her hands once, admiring the scene. She smiled and then made herself busy, not wanting to step on our toes.

"She's so nice Phillip." Kristen said with a smile. "How come you're such good friends?"

"Don't really know. I love pizza?" I said with a light shrug. We opened the box and each took a nice large piece. Folding the slice inwards, I took a bite from the tip and lightly chewed on it. Kristen mimicked the action as we made small talk. The pizza restaurant was one of those old fashioned ones with the wooden booths and the tables had those red and white checked patterns on the tables which drooped over our laps and covered the side of the tables.

As we neared the last two pieces, I was recalling one of my earlier stories about my drunken escapades. "Yeah, so I stood outside the FOX headquarters and danced for nearly three days to 'Hustle'. You know from Van McCoy? Back in the 70's? The bastards still haven't reinstated Firefly though!" Kristen laughed lightly as I smiled and shook my head at my own idiocy.

"So, almost done here. Any idea what you'll be doing after this?" Kristen said as we dug into the slices. Shaking my head, I honestly had no idea.

"Nope, how about you?" I asked, chewing at the lovely slice.

"I've got an idea. It's best to do it with two people though..." Kristen said, trailing off sexily. I crooked an eyebrow as I felt her amazingly soft foot move it's way up my leg. Sliding along my ankle, her foot moved up to my knee and then moved past to my thigh. She gently teased my leg before she moved it up to my actual crotch. She lightly robbed the ball of her foot over my crotch, revelling in the fact that I could do nothing about it.

"Really? Well, I could probably help you with that I suppose..." I said matching Kristen's implication earlier. Unfortunately, my foot didn't come as freely as Kristen's did, I banged my knee on the table several times before I just gave up. Kristen giggled lightly as Mr Pannucci ran up.

"Buggalo? You see Buggalo? Where Buggalo?" Mr Pannucci said with a broom in his hand. Me and Kristen looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"It's alright Mister Pannucci, there was no bug. I think me and Kristen are ready to go though. Can you tell Mrs Pannucci thank you for the Pizza though?" Mr Pannucci smiled and nodded happily. Both me and Kristen smiled and we made our way out of the table and left, I noted that Kristen had managed to put her cowboy boot back on again.

"You're a bad girl you know that?" I said with mock anger as we walked out of the restaurant. Kristen nodded and smiled happily with a wicked grin on her face.

"How far away is your place?" Kristen said, with a tint of something in her voice. Desperation? I wish! Horny-Ness most likely. I motioned a corner from where we were.

"Just over there. By those failed abortions." I said, motioning to kids who were listening to Drum and Bass but had on Led Zeppelin shirts. I shook my head, and motioned for Kristen to go on. We passed over the road and gout to the steps to my place.

"Hey Phillip. I'll let you punch me for a buck!" One of them said as both me and Kristen made our way upstairs. I shook my head lightly, we opened the door to my apartment complex.

"I'm on the third floor." I said briefly, we made our way to the stair well and pushed open the doors. Our breath was starting to get ragged as we jogged up the stairs hand-in-hand. We reached my floor and pushed open the old wooden door. I was practically pulling Kristen down the hall, when I found my room. I dug into my pocket and fished out my keys.

Clicking the lock out of place, I opened the door and let Kristen walk in. She took a few steps in and turned to face me. I stepped back in myself, and closed the door, temporarily turning my back to Kristen. When I turned around again, Kristen had taken a small run and a jump. Leaping into my arms, she wrapped her arms and legs around me. Shoving her face into mine, our passion exploded with a fury. Her tiny lips found mine, and they both parted seemingly on instinct.

Moans were escaping both our lips as I almost fell backwards with her latched onto me. Squatting down slightly, I managed to keep a stable base and matched her intensity. Our tongues teasingly flicked against each others as our hunger exploded. We regretfully broke the kiss, and filled out lungs with much needed air, both mine and Kristen's eyes locked and our passion burned. Leaning my head in, I lightly bit onto Kristen's neck and sucked slowly. Kristen moved her hand up to my head and lightly ran it through my shaggy brown hair.

Putting my hands on Kristen's wonderful ass, I moved her upwards reasserting her position on me. Kristen moaned again at the touch of my hands. Bringing my lips up away from her neck, I moved us over to the near couch. "Let go sweetie." I whispered lightly to Kristen, who nodded silently, her trust in me shining through. Her limbs unhooked from my body and I let her drop onto my sofa. Her light frame made barely a noise as she made an 'oomph' sound.

I went to sit down but Kristen put her hands on my waist and kept me standing. Looking down at her, Kristen smiled and reached to my jeans. Gripping my zipper lightly, Kristen smoothly let the zipper tear away from itself, giving her but a peek of what was to come. (Author's Note: Stop giggling!) Kristen's soft hands smoothly slid into my pants and she suddenly caught hold of my cock. She gasped in surprise before exposing it to the light of day, my boxer shorts pushed aside.

My rapidly hardening member, stood at a respectable seven inches and it seemed to be enough for the blonde star. She steadily jerked it, not slow enough to make me cum but not fast enough for it to qualify as a hand job. She was simply hardening my member. Beaming up at me, Kristen then opened her mouth and leant forward. Her lips enveloped my member's head, which was all she seemed to want to take. Her tongue then started to bang tap lightly against the head, her lips forming a smile as I moaned.

Kristen's left hand then moved upwards and cupped my sac lightly, her hand resting with my nuts on its base. Kristen lightly squeezed them, before she moved her head off of my member. Kristen looked up at me and smiled sweetly. Leaning in past my spear, Kristen planted a kiss on my nuts before she took my cock back into her mouth. Wrapping her lips around my head again, Kristen dropped her mouth so she had half of my member in her mouth. Her tongue moved to the underside of my member, the soft spongy organ dragged along the under vein. Evoking yet another moan from me, Kristen smiled and let herself bob up and down on my member at a steady speed.

Dragging herself off of my member again, Kristen took her hand off of my sac and using said hand, she pushed my cock upwards so it was pressed against my chest. Kristen smiled and lightly licked her way up from my base to the head, reaching the purple helmet, she licked her way around the head. Jerking my cock steadily, Kristen leant in and spat on my cock, her sweet saliva splattering against my cock.

My cock was now painfully hard and was begging for relief, Kristen could see this in my eyes as we locked eyes again. She then took pity on me and started to smoothly bob her head on and down on my pole, taking in nearly three quarters still managing to tease me but not quite as torturously as previously. Kristen then took her hands and put them on my ass, pulling me in closer. Kristen then took my hands, which had been resting behind my back, and put them on her head.

She then moved her head up and down, with my hands latched on. She seriously didn't want that? A face fuck? Even porn stars hated that. She looked at me with a Devilish smile as she continued to bob up and down. I cocked an eyebrow but Kristen seemed determined to have her face fucked. I regretfully nodded, Kristen then took her hands off of my hands and let me take over.

Not wanting to hurt her. I pushed Kristen's head to the tip of my member and lightly pulled her back so she took in half of my cock with ease. Kristen looked up at me and did not seem impressed. She then slapped away my hands and took her head off of my cock.

"Fuck my face goddammit! I can take it I swear."

I nodded and took hold of Kristen's head again as she swallowed my cock again. Changing my earlier pace, I let Kristen swallow all of my cock, before I pushed her off of it and then slammed her back down on it. Kristen's eyes went wide with temporary shock, but her same mischievous smile came back as she got used to it.

Deciding to take it up a peg, I barked an order at her. "Take your top off Kristen." I said as her lips smashed against my base. Kristen then moved her hands down to her waist and hooked the fabric in her fingers. Sliding it up over her body, Kristen's marvellous tits came into view. Kristen was braless and had a very horny smile on her face. I shook my head in mock anger, I kept my left hand on her head while my right one cupped her left breast.

Kristen moaned at my touch, her nipple poking against my palm as I continued to aid her in her oral assault. My hand gripped hold of her blonde hair as I changed my pace and fucked her face. Keeping her pretty face still, I started to thrust my hips towards the blonde who was still sitting intently. Her hands had moved down to her skirt and she was hungrily playing with herself underneath.

Having enough, I let go of Kristen's hair and let her fall off of my cock. I looked down at the horny starlet with a smile. Two words were all I had to utter. "Any panties?"

Kristen playfully bit her bottom lip and shook her head. I smiled and dropped to my knees. Kristen was still sitting, we were face to face and we happily kissed again. Our lips crashing against each others, I moved my hand down and replaced hers. My hand ran over her pussy's lips, she was already wet and moaned at the slightest touch.

Deciding to repay her, I put Kristen's legs on my shoulders and rolled her skirt upwards. Looking at her pussy for a brief second, I smiled and admired one of the most wonderful sights on the planet. Leaning in, I was mere inches away from her cunt and I teased her as she had with me, by blowing a cool jet of air over her pussy's lips. Gasping, Kristen's hips raised up off of the sofa, which only worked for me. "How flexible are you Kristen?" I asked as she opened her eyes lustfully.

"Very. Why?" She asked, her hands on the back of my head.

"No reason." I simply said, taking her legs in my hand, I pushed them towards the back of the couch. She was now bent at he waist, her back and head resting on the couch's seats, while her feet, locked together were pressing against it. Admiring the new position for a second I happily blew another jet over her lips. Kristen gasped again, as I moved in for the kill, my tongue at the ready I took a quick taster of her pussy. Savouring the taste, I took another lip, this time going from the tip to her pussy's bottom.

I then kissed her left ass cheek naughtily, making Kristen chuckle lightly. My left hand keeping her legs back, I used my right to lightly cup Kristen's ass cheeks. Lightly slapping it, and making Kristen gasp. I moved my hand back up to her pussy where it ran up and down the length, I was doubly careful to make sure it did not touch her clit. I smiled as Kristen writhed and shouted curse words at me. Shaking my head, I leant in and planted a kiss over her pussy's lips.

Diving in, I used my fingers to push the lips apart, exposing her clit to me. Going all out, I pushed my tongue deeply into her and started to slowly swirl it around, making Kristen moan intently. Taking my fingers, I then started to pump the digits in and out of her pussy, finger fucking her at a tender pace. Kristen moaned aloud again as my fingers slid in and out of her wet cunt.

My tongue moved in again, lapping against her wetness I lapped up any juice I could see. Kristen's moans only encouraged me as I continued lapping against her pussy. My fingers then moved into her pussy again, while my tongue moved its way down to her ass hole. I had never tried tossing someone's salad before. Why not now? I let my tongue push its way into Kristen's ass hole.

Kristen's moans had changed into groans, as I happily tongue fucked her asshole while my hand fingered her cunt. I slipped my fingers into the third digit, still giving me plenty of room to use. I had two fingers in, and was pumping at a steady pace. Kristen broke her grunting to speak softly. "More...More fingers." Can't argue with a lady who knows what she wants. I slipped another finger into her cunt, three of my digits were happily pumping away as my tongue continued to taste her ass hole.

Breaking my oral assault, I looked up at Kristen whose eyes were shut tightly. Her mouth agape in a silent gasp of 'Oh!' Smiling, I spoke softly. "Kristen, let's go to my bedroom..." Her eyes opened and she looked at me, her eyes ablaze with horny-ness. She nodded her head silently, I let her legs fall backwards and she unfolded back to her normal self. I stood up and extended my hand, taking hold of it, I pulled Kristen up.

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