Forbidden Feelings Ch. 01-02

"What about Gabriel?" Leah whispered back.

"I want this as much as you do. Leah, I've wanted you for months now. Gabe and I have a great sex life, but I want more. I've been curious for some time about being with a woman, namely you. Think about this overnight. Don't be afraid to ask."

I backed away from Leah's ear, but kept my hand on her.

"And hey, don't be afraid to say no. I'll respect any decision you make," I said as I kissed her forehead one last time, and regretfully commenced the "hands-off" friendship for the rest of the night.

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For the rest of the time we were alone, Leah and I sat in the living room and just chatted about nothing in particular. I left Leah's house when Gabriel, Travis and the kids got back home. As Gabriel and I walked back home together, he asked how Leah was doing. I told him that she was much better than before, but I didn't tell him why that was.

That night was one of the longest nights of my life. I don't know how much sleep I actually got. I kept replaying the scenes from earlier in the day. I still couldn't believe that I'd been kissed by the woman of my dreams. I had wanted it for weeks, and it had actually happened! Then I was stupid enough to tell her to think about it before we rushed into something she might regret.

She had said that she was going to call me tomorrow, but when? Which way would she want it? Would I be able to look her in the eyes again, without regret, if she only wanted to be friends? Then if she did want more, what was I supposed to do. I knew what I wanted to do, but what about Gabriel? He's was more than a wonderful husband; he's was almost perfect. He truly cared about me and would I be willing to risk that to make a dream come true with Leah? Would something with Leah be a one time experiment or something more? I know society says a woman loving another woman is wrong, but although I believed love was love, how does Leah feel about it? What if Gabriel or Travis found out? These questions and more kept running through my head, and although I tried to sleep I couldn't.

II

I guess someway I did finally fall asleep, because the slam of a car door woke me up, and I heard the engine turn over. I looked at my watch, and it read 6:43. Gabriel had already left for the day. I vaguely remembered him kissing me good-bye around six. I sat up and looked out the bedroom window just in time to see Travis's SUV pull out of the driveway. As he drove away, I looked toward the house next door and saw a light on inside. Knowing Travis was gone, I didn't know how patient I could be waiting for Leah to call.

Would she call right away? Would she really take a 'sick' day or would I have to wait until she got home from work? I tried to stay calm.

I lay back in bed, closed my eyes, and willed myself to dream again. As if by magic, Leah and I were back in the kitchen, standing against opposite counters. Leah looked up at me with her seductive blue eyes, and I couldn't control myself. I rushed over to her and wrapped her in my arms. I felt the warmth of her body against mine as our lips began to touch. Our hands were all over each other, enjoying the caressing we both desperately desired.

We were too busy with each other to notice Leah's house phone ring...and ring...and ring. I suddenly woke up from the dream, realizing that the ringing was real. I looked at the caller ID on my cell phone -- Leah Kline.

"Hello," I answered, still groggy from sleeping.

My watch now said 7:16.

"Calie," Leah said. Then she was silent.

Neither one of us spoke for a moment.

"Do you want me to come over?" I finally asked her, breaking the silence, and praying that she would at least say yes to such an innocent offer.

"Please. Travis dropped the kids off at school before he went to work. I called in sick today. I really need to see you," Leah responded timidly.

The tone of her voice made me question if she actually had enough time to think about this.

"Give me five minutes," I promised her, "I'll be right over."

I rushed to get out of my pajamas, and into jeans and a hoodie. I ran a brush through my hair and quickly brushed my teeth. Thankfully, I had taken a shower last night.

I was out my front door in four minutes, and knocking at Leah's soon after. She answered my knock within seconds dressed in a long-sleeve shirt and track pants.

"Hey," Leah said. Her eyes were as blue as the Caribbean. She leaned against the door frame. She seemed very uncomfortable.

"How are you?" I inquired, trying to get a feel for the situation.

"Not bad," Leah looked down at the tiled floor. "I couldn't sleep last night. I kept thinking about what happened yesterday. I really don't know what to do. I haven't had a kiss like that in the longest time, Calie. Travis used to make me feel that way. I probably would've gone all the way with you last night, if you hadn't stopped things. In a way, I'm thankful you did. It showed I can trust you, and take things at my pace. But, on the other hand, I wanted you. You said you might not have been able to stop if things kept going. Well I don't think I could've stopped myself either."

"Leah, can we go somewhere more private?" I asked, while motioning to the open door. I didn't want to have a crowd of people watching us if things got too hot.

Leah led me inside and shut the door behind me. She motioned for me to follow her. We went up some steps into her living room, and then some more into the upstairs hallway. I followed her into the first room on the left, and I recognized it as the room she shared with Travis. I was surprised that this was the "private place" she brought me too, and even more surprised that the bed was already made. Hopefully, I would be the one to help her unmake it.

"Is this private enough for you?" she questioned, smiling hesitantly at me as she sat on the edge of the bed. I wanted to rush over to her, wrap her in my arms, and treat her like she deserved to be treated; with tenderness and love, but I forced myself to hold back. I had to make sure it was really what she wanted.

"You said yesterday that Travis doesn't seem to want you anymore, how long has it been?" I sat down on the bed next to her and looked over her gorgeous body.

"Quite a few months. I really don't remember the last time we just made love. To him, it is only about satisfying himself; I don't know if it has ever lasted more than ten minutes," Leah said with a shake of her head.

"Describe it to me," I inquired, "what exactly is he like in bed?"

"We have sex when he wants, not when I want it," she started slowly, as she turned away. I could tell that my request was embarrassing. I wasn't sure if she ever spoke about love-making to anyone other than her husband before. "There's usually very little in the way of foreplay, other than a kiss here and there. If he does use his hands on my body, they are rough and quick. Not in a harsh way, but just not in a soft and sensual way either."

In the almost three years that I'd known Travis and Leah, I never would have guessed this about their private life. I felt sorry for her. I couldn't imagine being married to someone who didn't have respect for me in the bedroom; who didn't care about my feelings along with his.

Gabriel had always been great about making sure my needs came before his. I didn't want to add salt to the wound, so I didn't bring up my relationship with Gabriel. Instead, I tried to keep her talking. It's true that I loved the sound of her voice, but more importantly, I wanted to get to know her emotionally.

"How is he with the kids?" I asked Leah as I inched closer to her.

"Not as good as everyone thinks he is. I mean he's great when he's around, but it's like he's never home. Or if he is, he's busy working around the house or writing songs for his band. So, I'm the one that usually drives the kids to school on my way to work in the mornings, and I pick them up on my way home. I know he drove them today, but only because their schools are on the way to his office, and I told him I didn't feel good. I was actually very surprised when he agreed to drive them. But, I'm the one that cooks dinner for everyone, I give the kids their baths, and I put them to bed. I'm the one that gets up if either of them needs a parent in the night and I'm the one that wakes up early with them on the weekends."

Leah took a breath before continuing, "Don't get me wrong, I love my children, and would do anything for them. I just wish that sometimes I had more help from Travis."

"You deserve it," I responded.

Tears started to form in her eyes and fall down her face. She looked completely vulnerable. I put both of my hands on her face to wipe the tears away with my thumbs. As if embarrassed, she brushed my hands away and wiped her eyes on her sleeves. Then she moved up on the bed, using the pillows as cushions so she could sit up more comfortably.

I cautiously moved up the bed, watching her for any indication that she didn't want me to be near her, but I needed to be next to her body. She didn't flinch as I reached out to take her hand. I sat in the middle of the bed, and I guided her to sit between my legs.

Leah entwined herself into my body, and then threw her arms around me in a tight embrace. She buried her face in my neck. The fabric of my hoodie was the only barrier. This wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but it would have to suffice for the moment. I knew she needed this; needed the mental and emotional support that I was willing to give her. I wrapped my arms around her and rubbed her back. I could feel that she was very tense.

"What's wrong?" I asked Leah when I heard her start to cry again.

"Nothing," she responded. The tone of her voice made her difficult to believe.

"Leah, no matter what, we have to remain honest with each other. Something is bothering you and I need to know what it is." I continued to rub my hands up and down her back.

She didn't respond, and I started to get worried.

"Leah, look at me," I said as I tried to pull away.

I felt her shake her head, and hold on to me tighter.

"Leah, I'm serious. I need you to look at me," I repeated.

"I can't. Not right now," she whispered.

I stopped rubbing her back and just held her close to me. If this was all that she wanted for the moment, then I had no choice but to respect that.

"I know why you want me to look at you," she said after a few minutes. "You want to make sure I'm okay with this. I know my eyes give everything away."

"Then why won't you look at me? What are you trying to hide?" I asked.

"I'm afraid my eyes will tell you the wrong thing," she mumbled.

"I don't understand," I said. "I really need to make sure you're okay before we do anything else, and if you don't want to go further, I need to know that too."

We sat in silence for a few more minutes. I was letting what I said sink in.

"I'm afraid I will kiss you again," Leah whispered, mostly to herself.

"Do you not want to kiss again?" I sincerely hoped this wasn't the case.

There was more silence. I tried to pull back and look at her, but she wasn't letting me go.

"Leah, remember what I told you last night. If you want to stop at that one kiss and not do anything else, I'll be okay with that. I just need you to be honest with me."

"Calie, I really do want to kiss you again. I do. I just don't know if I'll want to stop there. I want to do so much more with you." Her voice was getting a little bit easier to hear.

"What else did I tell you last night, Leah? Do you remember?"

"If I ask, you'll say yes."

"All you have to do is ask," I whispered to her again. "I'm not going to lie to you. I want you, Leah. I want you so bad, but it needs to be mutual."

After sitting in silence for a few more minutes, Leah pulled away and looked up at me.

"I really do want to go further with you," she said hesitantly, "I'm just scared."

"I will go at any pace you're comfortable with," I replied softly.

"Slowly," Leah whispered.

"Sweetie, I wouldn't have it any other way right now," I kissed her forehead.

She gave me a growing smile as she leaned back on her hands and faced me with an incredible, seductive look on her face. I knew at that instant how badly my body craved hers.

My left hand caressed her face, as my right helped prop me up. I gazed into her eyes. I knew she understood my unasked question when she slowly nodded her head. I leaned down onto her lips and kissed them ever so slightly as my left hand went behind her head to pull her closer to my mouth. Our tongues met as they entered each other's mouth. She took her right hand off of the bed and held the back of my head, her fingers interlocking with my hair. Our tongues explored each other's mouths, desiring more of each other. I could tell that she wanted me to linger on her lips, but I had other plans. This was the invitation I had been waiting for.

With a considerable amount of resistance, I pulled my lips off of hers and slid them up her left cheek bone. I found her ear and started nibbling it. She let out a soft moan. I wasn't used to hearing moans when I did that. Gabriel always pushed me away when I tried to nibble on his ears. Soon, the soft moans became louder and her hands on my back got rougher. I knew she needed the release that I was planning on giving her. I was going to make sure she got it, but not quite yet.

I stopped nibbling on her ears and kissed down her neck to her throat. She tossed her head back as I licked and kissed her throat and chin. Her hands were back on my head, pulling me closer to her. Her moans were getting louder.

"Are you sure you want this?" I asked as I drew back from her body and ran my right hand under her chin. "I don't know how much I can control myself if things move any further."

"Please Calie. Please keep going," Leah begged me as she pulled me closer to her. Her eyes were seducing me. She moved her mouth to my ear and whispered, "I want you...I need you."

I could tell from the breathless way she spoke that, she needed to be touched, to be loved, and to be reassured that she was beautiful.

I kissed her softly on the lips again before I took my left hand from the back of her head and moved back from her. I removed my sweatshirt and threw it on the floor. I was glad I had put a T-shirt on underneath. Then I used both of my hands to push her shirt up to just below her bra before caressing and kissing her stomach down to her hips.

I moved back up her body and I placed my left hand behind her head as I pulled her in toward me. Once again my lips found hers, and I gently helped her lie down on the bed. I used my left arm as a brace to help me lie down so I didn't interrupt the kiss or remove my hand from her head. I lay down on my side next to her.

I let my right hand slide softly down her body and just as I was about to go under the waistband of her pants, her hand stopped me. She didn't say anything, just continued to kiss me the same as before. I realized that I was moving too fast for her comfort, so I moved my hand back up her body to caress her breasts instead. I moved her shirt and bra above her breasts and she didn't object to this, so I brought my lips off of hers and took her left nipple into my mouth. I sucked on it, while using my left hand to play with her other breast. Her moans were driving me crazy. After a little while, I brought my mouth to her other nipple, and started to do to the right what I had already done to the left. As I did this, however, I heard Leah's stomach let out a low growl. Her face grew red.

"I'm sorry," Leah apologized. "I haven't had breakfast yet, and I'm sort of hungry."

"Well, I guess I'm making us some breakfast," I responded as I brought my lips back up to meet her mouth before I got off the bed and started toward the door.

"You don't have to do that. I can cook," Leah started to get up off the bed. "It's my house after all."

I turned around and put my hand on her arm.

"No. Sit. Relax. Let me take care of it." I leaned down to kiss her forehead and then turned to walk away.

"You know, I could get used to this treatment," she said as I walked to the door.

Before I left the room, I turned around just in time to see her smile; and what a smile it was. When I got to the kitchen, I realized that I had no idea what Leah wanted for breakfast. I would just have to create something. I opened the refrigerator, and started looking in the various drawers in the fridge. I found some strawberries, which sounded great. I continued to search the fridge and found some chocolate syrup that the kids probably used for making chocolate milk. I couldn't find any milk, but an idea popped into my head. What could be better in the morning than strawberries and chocolate syrup? I washed the strawberries, and grabbed a bowl for the chocolate. I still needed to find some drinks though.

Tea? Coffee? I looked in her cabinets and although she had both, neither sounded like it would go particularly well with strawberries and chocolate. I glanced into her dining room and found a bottle of unopened champagne, and although it seemed great, I didn't want to open it and have Travis wondering why it was open or missing. I went back to the fridge, and I found a bunch of different sodas and juices. Suddenly, I had an answer!

I grabbed the white grape juice and searched Leah's cabinets until I found two champagne glasses. I poured the grape juice into the glasses, and poured some chocolate into the plain white bowl. I took down a plate, and placed the bowl in the middle of it. Then I placed the strawberries around the bowl.

"I don't know the last time I had breakfast in bed," she squealed with delight as I walked in with our breakfast. She laughed at me as she pointed to the champagne glasses, and I told her it was just grape juice.

I dipped the first strawberry into the chocolate syrup, and lifted it to Leah's mouth. It was then that I realized that I forgot to grab napkins. A drop of syrup had dripped on her chin, and without a napkin handy, I had no choice but to lick it off. After that little incident, we were both content to feed ourselves, interrupted by the occasional spill that needed the help of the other's tongue. When we were done eating the strawberries, we toasted our champagne glasses to each other, I glanced up at Leah. I knew I had made the right decision for breakfast.

As I got up to take care of the dishes, Leah went to the bathroom to make sure all the chocolate was cleaned off of her face.