Forever Trusting Who We Are Ch. 02

"Damn, baby... how I missed you," she heard him say, but a giant lump in her throat kept her from forming a reply. "Now you come here!" he pulled her strongly to sit on his lap, and she switched positions, avoiding his face. Settling her over his groin, James began caressing her breasts under the water and kissing the small of her neck. From his point of view he couldn't see the hot tears that trickled down her cheeks, mistaking her limpness for relaxation.

She couldn't find the strength in herself to yell or slap him. Just infinite sadness filled her chest. She had hoped so much for this day, and now it was stained by his betrayal.

"Now I'll bathe you, 'cause you're a dirty little girl, ya know?" It was an ironic statement, she thought. Disregarding the sponge, he soaped his hands and ran them from her shoulders down her back, then repeated the action, but this time his slippery touch traveled from her collar bones, down her breasts, to her abdomen. He let the warm water wash the soap from his hands before groping her pubic area. He cupped his hand over her mound and slid her closer toward his hard-on. Placing his middle finger over her clit, he began to rub it playfully, while he sucked and bit her neck. His hard breath came in hot huffs and cool puffs over her wet skin.

Kristen lay in the tub with closed eyes, fighting back her tears. Through her concealed pain, she could feel her body give in. His hand took her face close to his, and he nibbled her chin. Next he commanded, "Get your ass out of the tub," and stood up with Kristen in his arms. Out of the water, he threw a towel over her shoulders and grabbed her from behind. His rough hands roamed her body in what was supposed to be a drying motion, but it seemed more like teasing. Steadily, he pushed her in the direction of the bedroom, eventually propelling her, face down, onto the bed. She lost the towel along the way. He positioned himself on his side, right next to her, and loosely dragged his fingers from the back of her knees up her bottom. Subconsciously, James smiled at the view. Aroused and ready for action, he rolled her over, anticipating a lustful kiss. Brushing the hair away from her face, he began to kiss her but then suddenly stopped. "Why do you taste like tears, baby?" James asked. When he noticed the expression on her face, he was stunned, and the tears didn't stop. She turned away, her long dark hair resting at her side. Naturally, she curled herself up, wishing it all away for a moment, but the terrible thoughts of what she'd seen betrayed her smashed feelings."I... I saw the nail marks on your back..." she sadly stammered, "you cheating bastard!" She began to sob and shake, covering her face with her hands.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck! James yelled inside, remembering foggily the drunken groupie that scratched him during a backstage blowjob. He sat up and rested the back of his hand on his forehead. His concerned blue eyes scanned the ceiling. Were there any words that could help him through this mess?

Kristen's weeping pierced right through his soul; few times had he felt so guilty and ashamed. What can I say to her? The fact that he didn't sleep with that woman didn't matter- even though he couldn't recall it all, he'd been with more than one girl during the tour. I am a fucking bastard... "Baby... baby, please don't cry..." was what finally came out. James turned to her and reached out to roll her gently by the shoulder, but she wouldn't move. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean... I just got so drunk, I don't even remember..." he pleaded, his touch falling dead on her skin. Kristen felt a surge of anger rise up inside herself. "Couldn't keep your fucking zipper up for just ten days?" she cried reproachfully. "Just for ten fucking days..." she sobbed again. He couldn't have felt worse. Leaning closer to her, speaking right next to her ear, he said, "Kristen, I love you and only you. Whatever happened on the road means nothing to me, I swear."

Turning toward him she said, "Oh... but you wouldn't feel the same if I fucked someone else, would you," and looked straight into his eyes.

A cold stab of jealousy went through his heart at her words. No. I would never stand for it. He showed a knowing frown, but still seized her chin to keep her from turning away, and said, "I know I've fucked up, baby. I'm a bastard. Listen to me for a minute though: you gotta believe that I love you. You're the one I want to build a home with... the person I want to come back to." He attempted a kiss, but she pushed him away.

"Shut up, James," she whispered, as fresh tears began to flow. She was perched on the bed, ready to get up, but she let him pull her back to the mattress. "Please, just let me go... I hate to be like this in front of you," she said while covering her face with the back of her arm.

"No. I won't let you go until you believe how much I love you. Look at me," he commanded.

Kristen shook her head; all she wanted was to run away and cry. "Just leave me the fuck alone..." she pleaded again.

James drew her near, leaning right over her face, "No, I'm not letting you go. I love you." Firmly, he took her arms away from her face, leaving her with nowhere to hide. His beautiful eyes looked at her imploringly, and his lips said: "You are my home, you know that..." and he placed a small kiss on her trembling lips.

She began to plead, "Don't say that sh..." but she was interrupted by another kiss, and his hold on her grew tighter.

After taking her breath away, he whispered in her ear, "Trust me, baby," then kissed the tears on her cheeks. When he said, "I've never felt like this with anyone else," she saw only truth in his blue eyes. They were tearing at her heart. "I love you, and nothing else matters." Her fiery will was extinguished. She kissed him, and it fused into a slow kiss of devotion. The smell of his wet curls draped over her face intoxicated her. Slowly, she took her hand and put it in his. This sign of forgiveness touched James deeply. Fear and shame began to wash away, and a wealth of love and gratitude overwhelmed him. Through eyes full of tears, he looked at her. Never had she seemed more beautiful. Surrendering in his arms, with her watery eyes, she looked almost melancholy yet beautiful and whole at once. "Never leave me..." James implored, pressing his face to hers. Their mouths sealed fervently, in salty flavored kisses full of longing and sorrow.

TBC