- Gay Male
- Found Ch. 02
- Page 2
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"What's his name?" asked Natalie.
"William Roman; tall and blond the way you like them Nat!"
"REALLY?!"
"Well what do we have here...I think I am getting a fever!" Natalie said as she touched her forehead to feel her temperature.
"Dang the guy hasn't been in town for long and already you are going to pounce on him....you make me proud!" teased Calen.
"Well why wait right?"
Everyone at the table laughed and finished their meal.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 10 years agoI really like the idea you have going. I think it definitely needs to be edited. There area lot of mistakes when it comes to past tense present tense etc. Also I agree with another users comment about showing an affectionate side with his parents and then all of a sudden they were hateful people. It could flow a little better but overall I like it.
Anonymousover 12 years agoIt is rather strange the description of his parents and the treatment he received in this chapter. In the first chapter, his parents did not come off as the assholes you portrayed here nor was there any hint given of relationship neglect. Some editorial gaffs as well. Overall, not bad.
Anonymousover 12 years agoHe got expelled for trying to commit suicide on the football field.
Anonymousover 13 years agoLovin this, way too much ;) which is why i'm probably going to read all of the other chapters right now. Kudos to you for writing so well and having a well edited story despite the lack of an editor.
Anonymousover 13 years agoI had to go back snd read the first chapter again but this is great! I thing this could be an amazing love story if you continue it without such a large time gap...post more and post it soon please.
