Free Fall Ch. 02

It was an incredible night, and I was filled with an irrational sadness when we woke late in the morning, knowing we'd be parting ways in a few hours, but I tried to push it down and ignore it while we cooked breakfast and sat in the unfinished living room to eat. I knew I'd been lucky to get a whole night with him, though I hated that I didn't know when we'd get a night together again.

He drove me back to my grandparents' house and kissed me in the truck. "I wish I didn't have to go," he said. I was pretty sure his sad expression mirrored mine. "I feel like picking Lena up and bringing her back here."

"You could." I was hopeful, but he shook his head.

"I told Rose I'd take the boys tonight."

"You could bring them along," I suggested. "I can make dinner."

He laughed. "I like your grandparents too much to unleash those two in their house."

"Hmm. True. We could eat outside."

"What about tomorrow morning? Breakfast? Me and Lena? I'll bring the bagels, you make the coffee. We can play house again."

"Deal."

He kissed me again and smiled. "I feel so much better now. How does 9:30 sound?"

I smiled, too. "Perfect. I'll see you then."

There was another kiss, then another slightly softer, slightly longer one after that, and one more that ended with a very reluctant parting of our mouths.

I sighed.

He sighed.

I sighed again and had to force myself to open the truck door, climb out, grab my overnight bag, and close the door behind me. It took so much effort. I watched him drive away, a mix of emotions. The morning seemed an impossible length of time away, but at least I had something to wait for. I thought about how comfortable the morning had been once we'd gotten out of bed, and how much fun it had been to make breakfast together. It felt like we could easily slip into that routine together, and I wanted that with all my heart.

I wasn't entirely sure where things were going. I wasn't sure Nico knew either. And I knew despite the fact that being together so far had felt like the most natural, easy thing in the world, we hadn't known each other very long. And maybe that didn't matter, but it was worth remembering.

I thought back to my grandmother's advice and her gentle reminder that my life was in transition, that this was a vulnerable time for me to make any big decisions. I knew she was right, but I also knew I'd never felt so certain about anything as I felt about Nico. All those focused years of fast track science classes I'd held the image of myself as a doctor in my head with absolute clarity, but the image seemed foolish to me now—like a kid's idea of what being a grown-up is all about. Now I felt I knew what I wanted. I just hoped I could wait for the right moment to ask for it.