Freyas Saga Ch. 17

Anni smiled at Carfryn in an unfocused way.

"Hello," she said. "You're lovely, stranger."

Carfryn smiled.

"Thank you," she said. "I am glad you are awake. I was hoping to hear you sing before I went to my bed, for I've ridden far and done much today, and I would gladly hear a song or two before I sleep."

"I only sing if I get beer," said Anni, and a pint mug was passed to her. She raised a hand in general gratitude to whatever stranger had ordered it for her, downed half of it in one, and then closed her eyes and began to sing.

Immediately, the room around the table fell quiet. Carfryn was riveted by the contrast between the thin, beautiful, rather frail-looking girl before her, so drunk that she could barely see straight, and the purity and power and agelessness of her voice. She sang about the faithlessness of men, and a princess who fell in love with a young man so beautiful that the king himself could not deny the youth his daughter's hand, and she sang of a loved one who promised to marry soon but then died, and she sang of a king who fought a war.

Carfryn was entranced. Everything she had heard about the singers was true. Anni's voice strengthened her; as long as there was someone who could sing like this, she thought, then the world was not all lost. As she sat listening, she felt positively happy, for the first time since Siegfa's death.

"These are old songs," someone said.

"The old ones are the best," Anni said.

"There must be some new ones," the voice said. "Come on, Anni."

The girl shook her head vehemently, as only the very drunk can, and then she stopped and looked up.

"No," she said, "no. I did hear a good one, lately. Just come down from the north."

"A new song!" went the cry, and people began to crowd around. New songs were how people found out what was going on in the world.

"This is a good 'un," Anni said, "but mark it, boys, it's a bloody sad 'un."

"All the better," said the apple-cheeked young woman.

Carfryn sat, hardly listening, already thinking of how she was going to approach the baron, wondering what sort of reception she was going to get. Anni began to sing, of a knight in the northlands born, fair to see, who rode upon the northern hills to seek good company. It was good, simple stuff, but not quite of the level of the older songs. The knight met a fair maid and fell in love with her and wooed her, and she didn't trust him because of the gap between them, he a knight and she a lowly shepherd maid.

Really, Carfryn thought, this can't end well.

"And you'd woo me with golden words," Anni sang, "As gold as my bright hair, But when the morning comes around you'd leave me in my byre."

Which, no doubt, is exactly what will happen, Carfryn thought idly, sipping her beer. Anni kept her eyes closed, one hand on the table, her neighbour holding the girl's slim hand in hers, and sang.

O no, O no, my bonny maid,

Sir Siegfa he did cry,

I'll never be false to you, my love,

But true to you I'll stay.

Carfryn's blood ran cold.

The knight and maid they walked a while

And in her byre they stayed,

And many a sweet hour did they spend

The fair knight and his maid.

His sister Carfryn walked them by

And caught them in her sight

And Carfryn's heart did rage and smart

For she loved full well the knight.

And loved she him with a love impure

That no fair maid could sever

But in her bed she wished her brother

And share him would she never.

Carfryn felt her heart pounding.

The room had fallen completly silent. Everyone was focused on the song. The sweat had broken out on her forehead.

Surely. Surely, they can see. They must know.

The shepherd maid came from the field

Her working day all done

Come up, come up, said the knight's sister

For talk we two have none.

And Ellantyde looked up the wall

And the joy in her did shine

With pleasure I will come to thee,

For a sister I'll be thine.

She went to Lady Carfryn's room

And sat upon the bed

O lady, we will sisters be

Until we both are dead.

For I do love your brother fair

And your brother doth love me,

And married shall we be right soon

To live full blessedly.

Married shall you be right soon,

The sister to her said,

But married to this knife of mine

Until you both be dead.

Carfyrn sat and took a sip of her beer, and felt Owyn and Dovid looking at her.

Do nothing. Be still. The song will be over soon.

She's flung her on the wide, wide bed

And Eglantyde did cry,

O Carfryn, what is this fell deed?

Why must you have me die?

O maid, O maid, you did not know

When first you saw my brother

His heart is mine and will not be thine

And will not be any other.

She's dragged the maid through a dark, dark door

And so she has through nine,

She's laid her on the carving block

And stabbed her like a swine.

There was a low moan of horror from the listeners. Carfryn folded her hands in her lap to stop herself from trembling.

And first out came the thick, thick blood

And soon came out the thin,

And she cut out the maiden's heart,

There was no more within.

She looked at the faces of the listeners. The grief and shock was visible in them. She felt as if a massive hand was pushing her down, down into the earth, flattening her.

Sir Siegfa came into his house

And called he for his supper.

His sister came into the room

And she did kiss her brother.

O sister Carfryn, I have news

And you will well rejoice

For I am to be married soon

To a maiden of my choice.

And she may be no princess fair

And she may be no queen

But the fairest maid upon the earth

That there has ever been.

O brother, dear, I do rejoice

To hear you have a wife

I wish you joy, that you may have

The heart of her for life.

Please, she silently begged Anni, please, no more, let it be over, this is not true, none of this is true, none - well, not none, but this song is a lie, a lie ...

She placed before him a covered dish

And bid him take his part

And there before him on the board

He saw the maiden's heart.

What hast thou done, O sister mine?

What hast thou done, O tell?

For you have slain my own true love

And in a deed most fell.

O brother mine, since she was thine,

It's done in your despite

For I would not let any maid

Take off my own fair knight.

And she did take his bright sharp sword

And she did slash his vein,

And from it flowed his brave heart's blood

There was no more remain.

The room was silent as a funeral.

Sweat made her blink. Her stomach was churning.

And Carfryn took a black, black horse

And on it did she ride

And left she there the knight and maid

Lying there beside.

And all the bells of Hargest

Without man's hands were wrung,

And all the books of Hargest

Were read without man's tongue,

And never was such mourning had

Since the first of days begun.

Anni stopped singing, and there was a long silence. Then the girl opened her eyes and looked around at the listeners, and picked up her beer mug and drained it. Somebody silently gestured to a potboy, and he went off to get her a fresh one.

"So that's the news," said Anni quietly.

Everyone was silent.

Then a voice said, with feeling, "The fucking cunt," and the conversation started again.

"Shocking," said Michael soberly. "Shocking, what these aristos get up to."

"To be in love with your brother," said the apple-cheeked young woman, "and to kill him just because he loved a shepherd girl. I'll tell you what, if I found her who did that, she'd have no mercy from me."

"Nor me neither," said someone else.

"Gutting," said someone else. "That's what the likes of her want. Gutting."

"It's a song," said Owyn, "does that mean it's true?"

"That's the news," said Anni, and shrugged, and took a pull from her fresh beer.

"Course it's true," said someone with disgust. "Our Anni wouldn't sing lies."

"One thing," Anni said, "in real life, she weren't no shepherd, she were a serving maid. At least, that's what I was told."

"Fucking disgusting," said the man with the widow's peak, and then inclined his head to Carfryn.

"Beg pardon, miss, for my language. But there is no forgiveness for such behaviour. Never."

"Wouldn't you say, Britomart?" said Michael.

"Mm," said Carfryn, nodding. She rose to her feet. "Excuse me."

She limped over to the door and went out the back.

***

Owyn followed her out, and by the time he got outside, she was coughing up the last of her vomit. She spat, and slowly straightened up, and looked at him.

"Is it true?" he said.

He thought she might get angry. Instead she just looked infinitely weary.

"Is what true," she said.

"The song," he said.

She clutched her stomach, and wiped her mouth, and closed her eyes and opened them again.

"I loved my brother," she said in a cracked voice. "I didn't kill him. I didn't kill anyone."

She raised her face to the dark sky, as if looking to see whether some hope might fall out of it, and when it didn't, she almost laughed.

"Swordsman," she said, "at this point, and for one reason or another, you know me better than anyone. Ask yourself. Do you think it's true."

He regarded her for a moment.

I do know you, he thought, as only those can who love one they can't have.

"You're noble," he said. "You're brave. You're honourable. You're foolish. You're passionate, and you're far too quick to act on your passions, and you're a fucking pain in the arse. But you're not vindictive. You're not evil."

"No," she said.

"I believe you," he said.

She took a step back and sank to her knees and closed her eyes.

"It is all off," she said. "I will not be going to Hargest. Our contract is ended. Thank you for your service."

"Get some sleep," he said. "Really. Sleep on it, and you'll work out what to do tomorrow."

She rubbed her face.

"Yes," she said. "I'm going to bed. I will give you my final decision in the morning."

"That's wise," he said. "Think I'll do the same."

She glanced at him.

"Very well," she said. "Please give me a moment to make my toilet and get ready for bed."

He nodded, and she rose to her feet and walked silently past him, back into the inn.

No more jibes. No more reminders.

Fuck, he thought.

She's been broken by a song.

***

When he went back in, she wasn't at the table. He returned to it, and Michael said "What happened? Was she ill?"

"Think the song affected her," he said. "Lot of travel, lot to drink."

"Ah," Michael said, nodding sympathetically.

"I might turn in meself, as a matter of fact," he said.

"Very sensible, no doubt," said Michael. "Are you staying another night?"

"Not sure," Owyn said. "Possibly. Good night all. Thanks for the company."

He leaned over slim, dark Anni, who smiled up at him through eyes half-closed with drink.

"Thanks for the songs, gorgeous," he said, took her hand and kissed it.

Then he headed for the stairs. On the way, he passed Dovid.

"I assume you're not too proud to take the other bed," he murmured.

"I am not," Dovid murmured back.

"Fine," Owyn said. "I'll take the hearthrug."

***

In the room, she had taken the best bed, as was her privilege. He went to the bed and leaned over her, and she was breathing, so there was that.

He unbuckled and took off the hard and knotty bits of his gear, tossed another couple of logs on the glowing embers, made a pillow of his bedroll and wrapped himself in the hearthrug. He went to sleep, listening to her breathing.

***

She woke up to find the room dark. She could hear their breathing.

Quickly and quietly she got out of the bed, holding the length of rope she'd taken from his pack earlier. She crept barefoot across the room to the table, picked up the stool and placed it on the tabletop.

She climbed up onto the table and got onto the stool. From here, she could easily pass the rope over the low beam that ran from one end of the room to another.

Do not think. There is no time.

She knotted the rope about the ceiling beam and made the other end into a noose. She slipped it over her neck and realised that the rope was too short; if she shifted the beam knot away so that she would not be hanging over the table, and would have enough drop beneath her feet to break her neck, the rope did not have enough play. There was too much loose end sticking out the end of the noose. She took the noose off her neck and retied it, and put it about her neck again, and it was better, but it was still too short.

She reached up to take the noose off her neck and in doing so she bent backwards slightly and the stool lifted up off one of its three legs and came down again.

Careful.

She reached up, twitched the rope slightly so that the beam knot slid along the beam in the direction she wanted, then again, and then again, and then it was a bit too far, because she was leaning forwards. She leaned to pull it back and it was stuck. She muttered a curse and twitched it again, and it still did not move.

She stood on her tiptoes to get a better grip and the stool tipped up from under her feet.

For a second she floated in space, thinking in panic, no, I haven't finished -

Then the noose yanked tight around her neck and the stool crashed to the floor.