Freyas Saga Ch. 19

Five held onto the rope.

"Curl up in a ball!" she shouted, and she started to lower Merion, dangling outside the window, as quick as she dared.

The worm hissed, and spat a thin jet of fire at the stretched rope. It started to burn. Five tried to go quicker, but then the burning rope snapped, and to her horror she heard a thin, receding wail from Merion followed by a couple of cries from outside in the street.

Well, now people knew something was up. Now it was on. Five dropped the rope and turned to Etienne.

"Where's my fucking sword?" she said. He looked around, and seeing it on the floor a few yards away, he made a dash for it.

The worm's head snapped around and it spat fire at Etienne, engulfing him in a cloud of flame. He screamed.

"No!" Five cried, and the worm looked at her. She managed to duck out of the way of a second burst of flame. It would take the beast a moment to gather itself for another, and she pulled off her tunic and ran to Etienne, who was rolling on the ground, his leather clothes on fire.

She blanketed him. She saw Freya gesturing to Marc, and she grabbed Etienne and dragged him out of the creature's range.

When she had got the fire out she unwrapped him and looked. He was burned but he was alive, his skin blistered. Maybe he would pull through. There was no time to look after him.

Freya and Marc were on opposite sides of the worm, giving it two targets it could not strike at the same time. Freya was grinning up at it, dancing from foot to foot, daring it to shoot fire her way. Marc was actually striking it with his sword, distracting it from concentrating on Freya.

The worm whipped its hide from side to side, unable to decide which to kill first. Five ran to her pack and fumbled her bow and quiver. She could just pull it; her finger throbbed.

The worm paused, staring at Freya with hate. Five got as close as she dared, staring up at the worm's big green eye.

She saw the worm's throat glowing as it worked up flame for another attack, and she aimed for the ridge just above the eye.

The worm snorted and drew back to spit fire.

She let go. The arrow travelled up and as it fell in its course, its arc made it hit lower than her aim. It plunged into the worm's eye.

The worm bellowed and thrashed. Its wing smacked Five backwards, breaking her bow and causing her to slide across the floor. Dazed, she looked as Marc hacked at the worm's tail. It tried to look at him but black jelly was squirting out of the wound in its eye.

Freya took a step back, then ran forward and leapt onto the worm's back. It whipped its neck. Freya almost lost her balance, but stood there, raised her sword and plunged it into the nape of the worm's neck.

It sank in, and she moved it from side to side, growling with the effort, and the worm made a desperate hacking sound. Then Freya's sword cut something, the beast's spine, Five guessed, and its neck went limp and its head crashed to the floor. Freya jumped off, grabbed Marc and pulled him out of the way.

The worm thrashed and shrieked and flapped its wings, and its great tail beat against the heavy wooden doors, but did not open them. It coughed, and a cloud of flame belched from its mouth and set fire to the wooden panelling on the wall by the door. Freya and Marc ran over to Five and Etienne.

"We have to get out," said Marc. They looked up; the high walls were hung with dusty old banners which, if they caught fire, would rain burning fabric down on them. Five and Marc managed to lift Etienne and Freya helped the other one over to the other door.

It was locked. Freya picked up a sword from the ground and shoved it in the door jamb and levered the door open without too much difficulty. They went through, and found themselves in an antechamber which opened on a long corridor, which in turn led into darkness. They could still hear the worm shrieking and thrashing around in the main chamber.

"How can we get out of here?" said Five.

"It's easy enough," said Marc. "All you have to do is get to the ..."

He stopped, and choked, and fumbled at the crossbow bolt that was suddenly sticking out of his throat.

Five cried out and they dropped to the floor, but another crossbow bolt struck Etienne in the arm. The other wounded man, pale from loss of blood, waved at the darkness.

"Stop fucking shooting!" he shouted. "There's a damn worm! We were tricked! They're here to ..."

He gasped as a bolt struck him in the chest, and he coughed, and blood came from his mouth.

"That's how we deal with traitors," said a voice from the darkness. Five knelt by the man and futilely tried to find some way of saving him, but he was coughing up his life's blood. She got up and, before Freya could stop her, she walked a few paces down the corridor and faced the darkness, angry and without hope.

"You fucking idiots," she bawled, "you're shooting your own men."

"They're not our men," came the voice. "They're enemies of the provost."

"Your provost is dead!" Five said. "He's been replaced by a bloody kid! You've been tricked!"

"You cunts are the tricky ones," said the voice, "but we'll soon knock that out of you, when we get our hands on you."

"What's stopping you, fuckers?" said Five. "You just gonna shoot us from your mousehole?"

Five looked at Freya, who was staring into the darkness with narrowed eyes, side-on to make herself a smaller target.

"No," said the voice, "we're gonna chase you."

A hidden door in the wall swung open, revealing a passageway that culminated in a spiral staircase that went both up and down.

"Oh, what shit is this?" said Five.

Freya ran forward, grabbed her by the arm and indicated the passageway. Five cursed and headed in, and Freya followed.

They ran to the end of the passageway and went down the staircase. It led to another passage that took them to a large, empty kitchen. Freya scattered as many pots and pans as she could behind them. They ran on, through an empty larder scattered with old fruit crates and sacks. They heard the sound of running feet behind them. There were many. Maybe a dozen.

"What's the point of this?" Five panted, wiping her eyes. "What's this for?"

"The man," Freya whispered. "He wants us to fear, so that the worm will sweat one last time. He is still here."

Five cursed silently to save her breath.

They came to a crossroads of three passageways and Freya quickly chose the leftmost. They ran down a sloping, curved corridor until they came to a door that had a window. The other side of it was the city garden, a large, neatly cut walled place for doing deals in private.

Freya opened the door and they slipped out, and closed it behind them.

It was good to be out in the fresh air, but it didn't take Five long to realise that the garden was as much a prison as the house had been. Apart from a thick, locked door in the wall, there was no way out but the way they had come in.

Freya was furiously barricading the door, shoving improvised wedges into the jamb and dumping bits of the rockery in front it. Five helped. Then they retreated the length of the garden, up the sloping lawn, to a small wooden structure at the opposite end.

They sat against the wall and got their breath back for a moment. Five clutched her wounded hand. The wooden house was a small, old temple to the gods of the city, now superseded by everyone's worship of the one god, but for superstitious reasons it had been allowed to stand.

"Well," Five said, "this is gonna be interesting."

Freya sat and stared at the opposite wall.

"Maybe we can tunnel out of here," Five said. "Or climb the wall."

"No," said Freya. "We have bought some time, is all. They will find us."

"We'll have to talk to them," Five said. "Make them see sense. So that they'll see that we came here to get rid of the worm, not to get into a battle. I know we can do it."

She stared at Freya, who stared grimly and impassively at the bare wall before her.

"We can do it, lady," Five said.

Then Freya looked at her, with a look she'd never seen before, and she was chilled.

"What," she said, her fear making her say it quietly. "You think ... they won't listen to us?"

Freya looked at her, her eyes full of pity, and she shook her head no.

Why are you pitying me? thought Five with horror. What do you think is going to happen?

"What?" said Five. "What's the worst they can do?"

***

It was the only way. She had been considering it ever since they were in the chamber.

They would have to fight. Both of them. Five with her wounded hand. And if they wanted to survive, if they did not want to be made to suffer agonies before being killed, they would have to win.

And for that to happen ...

... O, young one.

I wish I did not have to do to you what I am about to do. I had hoped you could learn what you must learn in the natural way. I had hoped you could go on being you, who I love.

Not who you will become, if I do this, if we even survive. Someone who will find it a great deal harder to love anyone.

"We have to fight," she whispered. "Both of us."

***

"Why?" said Five.

"Because they want it," said Freya, "and there are more of them."

"But, come on," said Five. "Can't we make them see sense? Or, or, you're the greatest warrior of the age. Can't you take them on, and I could sort of ... distract the others? Slow them down a bit?" She felt like a bloody coward for saying it, but her hand hurt, her head and body ached and she had no stomach to face so many men.

"If there were a few, maybe," said Freya. "But against so many, we will lose."

"But what if they're men of good will, like the others?" said Five, and it sounded stupid even while she said it. "They're not monsters."

"They are not as they were," said Freya. "If they beat us, they will punish us. And what you and I both suffered will be as nothing to what they will do."

Five felt herself losing her grip. The fear rising inside her made her almost gag. Her heart was pounding, her skin clammy. Freya's quiet voice was hinting at things she didn't even want to think about.

"O god," she whimpered, clutching her legs. "God, I'm sorry. I'm scared."

"I know," said Freya, laying a hand on her shoulder. It didn't help.

"If we take a place either side of the door," Freya was saying, "we can take them as they come out. It will be easier. Come."

She handed Five a sword. Five recognised it as her own. Freya had somehow picked it up in their flight. She looked up at Freya's strong, certain face.

"We can do this," Freya said.

Five thought of Luc. Of how she had been helpless at the sight of him lying there, skewered by her sword.

I'm not a killer. I did just enough to fight him off. I couldn't finish it. I'm not a killer.

"I can't," she said. "I can't do it, lady, I'm sorry."

"We have to," Freya rasped.

"I can't," Five said, half sobbing. "I don't have it in me, Freya! You've been here before, you can do it, but I can't fight like you!"

They were silent for a moment, Freya staring at the floor, Five chewing her knuckle to stop herself from giving in to her panic.

"Isn't there anything else we can do?" she said.

"Yes," said Freya. "We can do naught, and die a long, slow death."

"Right," said Five. "Then the best thing would be that you kill me, and then yourself. Spare us what they would give us."

Freya closed her eyes for a moment, and Five thought she saw her face fill, for a moment, with grief.

Then she opened them again, and her grey eyes were level.

"There is another way," she said.

"What is it?" said Five, miserable, ashamed of her own cowardice.

"I could take away your fear," said Freya softly. "Take away your pain. Give you courage. You could fight, with me. We could beat them."

"How?" said Five, scared but excited. "Let's do it. If it'll save us, do it."

"There is a price," Freya said. "You will be changed. You will not be quite who you are."

"If you can make me fight with you," Five said, clutching Freya's hand, "Do it. I'd rather go down at your side than ... than anything. "

Freya reached into her pack and pulled out a small crystal vial, sheathed in some dull grey metal. It contained a clear purple liquid in which some berries were steeping.

"These are the fruit of the mountain aster," she said. "Take them, and they will do what I said."

Five looked at them closer, and with slow dread she realised what they were.

She'd seen blokes eat these before. Worn-out soldiers at the end of their lives, who needed a push. They ate them, and then they groaned and moaned, and when battle started, they went mad as fuck, tearing off their clothes, shitting and pissing, grinding into the enemy like animals, hacking and flaying and laughing like madmen. More often than not they were so fucking terrifying that they came out the other end. Not always. But they always put the wind up the enemy.

Some of them came down again. Some not. Some were led away in chains.

None of them led any kind of life you'd want to lead.

"Death's Tears," she said, giving them the name they were called by the soldiers. Freya nodded.

"These are what berserkers take, aren't they," she said. Freya nodded once more.

"You want me to be like them," she said.

"I need you to take a leap," Freya said. "I will do what I can to save you, and if we live, to heal you. But I need you to fight. And if this will do it ..."

Five nodded. She stared at the berries. She looked up at Freya again.

"Aren't they poisonous?" she said.

"The fruit?" said Freya. "No. What you should fear would be ... what they make you do. And these are old; I have carried these for long, and they may have lost some of their potency. I see no other way. But it is your choice, and if you would sooner we both die now, then ..."

Five sat and stared at the vial.

God. I wish I had time. I wish this was something we were talking about on the road. That I could think about. But there's no time.

Probably just as well. I'd put off deciding forever.

"Well," she said, "even if I don't come back, at least you'd have a fighting chance, right?" she said.

***

Freya stared at the girl.

So hopeless, yet so defiant. Willing to do this to herself, if she thinks it will save me.

O god.

O my love.

***

"Yes," Freya said, her voice hoarse.

"Right then," said Five, "best not piss about, eh."

She held out her hand, and Freya looked at her for a moment, then unscrewed the lid of the vial and handed it to her.

She downed it in one. The fruit were in some sort of very strong but sweet spirit that didn't disguise their bitterness. It burned a trail down her throat to her stomach but it wasn't that bad.

She waited. Nothing happened. She attended to her internals: nothing odd.

"Don't feel like anything," she said.

"A moment," Freya said, and she clutched Five's hands, which immediately made Five nervous.

"No," she said, "I still don't ..."

And then she stopped, because her whole stomach was trying to leap out of her mouth.

***

Five's eyes bulged, and Freya saw her about to vomit.

"You cannot be sick!" she rasped. "I have no more! You must not!"

"Oh god," Five mumbled through her hand clamped over her mouth. She struggled onto all fours and her stomach spasmed again.

"No, Five," Freya said. "No. You must not. You must keep it down."

Five turned her disbelieving eyes to her, and Freya saw her wince and close her eyes tight and swallow her gorge. The girl fell on one side and stared up at the ceiling and moaned.

"O god," she said. "It's fucking agony."

"Talk to me," Freya said. "Tell me what is happening."

Five rolled onto her back and shut her eyes and gasped with pain, and then moaned.

"It's like a fire," she gasped. "A fire in my head."

She opened her eyes, and there was a black film covering them.

"I can't see," she whimpered. Freya gathered Five into her arms, so that the girl lay between Freya's legs, and she clamped one hand over Five's unseeing eyes.

"Keep your eyes shut," she ordered.

"O god," Five gasped, and her back arched, and she raised herself up in a bow shape, her face a rictus of agony.

"Five," Freya whispered, "Five, come back to me, come here, be with me, my love. Be with me."

"O god," Five moaned.

"You are with me," Freya urged her. "Feel my hand, my love. You are with me."

"Yes," said Five.

"Breathe," Freya commanded her. "Breathe."

***

She heaved in a breath. The pain was appalling. It was like having a red-hot poker up through her guts and her lungs and throat and into her brain. Her ears were full of a swirling roar of sound and colours were boiling behind her eyes. Everything was off, was tilted. She felt dizzy, the universe spun crazily about her like a wheel coming off its axle.

Something in her was being killed.

"Please," she whimpered, "no, please."

She felt herself being held and wondered who would do such a thing for such a piece of shit as her. The wrath of god was tearing her body limb from limb. She tried to scream but could not.

But it was growing in her, the pain, it was growing and settling down and making itself comfortable, and as she weakly got to know it, she suddenly felt that it was all too well known.

It stopped being a pain hurting her, a pain that made her feel weak and worthless, and became a flame inside her, a flame that had been burning her whole life.

A flame of anger.

It was flooding her limbs, her head, her face, her loins. Blood was flowing through her and giving her life, and her life was one of rage. She felt her hands becoming fists, the urge to strike was paramount, her teeth yearned to cut through live flesh.

She screamed, and this time it happened.

***

Freya's ears rang from Five's terrible scream, and she held Five's trembling body tight, and saw Five's face change and darken, and felt her heating up, and she knew that it was working.

This was where they got lost, this was where they got in so deep that they could never find the way back.

Five snarled in broken and gritted syllables of hate, trying to force out curses she could barely articulate.

O god, young one. Do not get lost. I know what is happening to you. Stay true.

Then she had an idea.

"Five," she hissed. "Five."

***

She heard the voice, whispering through the terrible music of hatred that was urging her to get out there and draw blood.

Some part of her grabbed it and held on.

"Freya," she panted, her heart racing.

***

She held the girl tighter.

"Listen," she said, "Listen. You are with me. It is a normal day. We are in the countryside. It is just you and me."

"Yes," Five panted, clutching Freya's hand fiercely.

"We are travelling. We woke up this morning. We trained. Do you remember? We ate breakfast. It is a good day for riding."

Five nodded, Freya's hand still clamped over her eyes.

"It is you and me," Freya said. "Just us. Together. It is a normal day."

***

The music was subsiding and becoming more tuneful and Five felt herself on the green grass, with Freya a little way off, smiling at her.

The tune quietened down into something lilting and pretty, a little melancholy. Five smiled at Freya, enjoying the peace, sad that it wasn't going to last forever. Freya smiled and nodded back to her, as if she knew what Five was thinking without her even having to say it. Five felt the warm air on her face and looked forward to camping that night, a few miles on, with all they had to worry about being a bit of fresh meat for the pot.