Freyas Saga Ch. 29

Five paused, then she looked away for a moment, and looked back at him, and said, "Well. Thanks."

Hargest looked to Freya, and she was staring off into the middle distance, and then turned and looked at him, and in another gesture that he knew from her all too well, inclined her head to him.

God damn it, he thought, if I had not already begun to think that it must be you, nothing now can convince me that it isn't.

He looked at Five. She was far from comely, but she had an honest, open countenance and her speech was unusually correct for one whose accent was so low-born.

"So," he said, "tell me as briefly as you can, why you had always been a male, and now are not."

"As briefly as I can?" she said, and paused. "Well. I'm an orphan from the east, from Prinzwald, I think. Your people picked me up as a child, during the first war against the barbarians. I, um..."

She glanced at the other men, and flushed crimson.

***

"Well," Five said, "the thing is, I..."

Oh god. Oh god, oh god. Yes, why don't you just whip my britches down and show everyone. Fine.

Just say it, idiot. Say it, and have done with it. Can't get any worse than this..

Hey, steady. If we've learned anything this past year, it's that no matter how worse it can get, it can get worser.

Stay the course. Say it.

"Well, lord," she heard herself say, "I have women's parts that look like men's parts, and you needed men, not women, so, your people told themselves I was a boy child, and lied as much to me my whole life, until your daughter saw the truth, and told it to me."

***

He looked down at her. She was looking back at him, clearly scared, but waiting for him to do whatever he was going to do. He knew, without even having to look over, that Freya was glaring at him.

"Yes," he said, "yes, that sounds like something we would do."

She nodded, and straightened up.

"I am sorry, lord," she said. "Although I was the squire of Sir Snorri, I have spent most of my life in your kitchen and mess. I know I speak bluntly, but my master always said, night's coming, get to the business."

"Who was your master?"

"Erik Godwinsson, lord."

"Erik," Hargest said, nodding. "I knew him well. He was not a man to waste time on those he did not think were worth it."

"I mourned his death, lord," she said, "as a teacher and as a friend."

"As is proper," Hargest said.

***

Hargest looked at Five as if he wanted to say more, but felt it would be wrong.

"Good," he said again. "Now, may we return to the manor?"

He looked at Freya, who just looked disgusted, but who raised a hand, and beckoned her company forward.

The company began to walk.

***

Fritha stood and watched as Hargest walked back, followed at a short distance by Freya and the others.

She could not understand it. There had been no cheering, no rejoicing, no happy embrace of a father by his child. Or of a child by her father. Hargest was expressionless, Freya was staring at the ground, and only the girl walking beside her seemed to have a sense of the momentousness of it; she was looking at the growing crowd and glancing over at the tents of the Casmans.

And the Casmans were coming out of their tents, first one by one, then two by two, then in a mass, gathering to one side, to see the travellers return.

As they did so, Fritha saw Freya raise her head and look at the Casmans, straightening up, her pride and dignity clearly intact. She was frowning.

Fritha took a step forward, and Freya's head flicked around to look at her -- and this time, Fritha saw her expression soften. Fritha stepped forward again, and Freya quickened her pace until she walked up to Fritha and knelt before her.

"Please," Fritha said, her heart full. "Freya. There is no need for ceremony." She held out her hand and Freya took it and kissed it, then Fritha stopped resisting the tears pricking at her eyes and held out her arms.

Freya embraced her, and Fritha was startled to feel that Freya had become thinner. Not skinny, but it had clearly been a year of hardship.

Freya kissed her on the face.

"I have missed you so much," Fritha said. "What has happened to you. What did they do to you."

Freya did not move, but disengaged, and gave Fritha an unreadable sidelong glance, before going over to the girl and taking her hand and leading her over.

Fritha looked the girl up and down, noting her tanned skin and the Hargest sigils on her collarbone. The girl looked more wary than ever, and as she approached Fritha she lowered herself in an awkward curtsey, that did not fit at all with her manly clothing and cropped hair and soldierly look.

Freya was looking at the girl, and when the girl glanced at her, uncertain, Freya simply nodded.

"Um," said the girl, as if reciting something she had learned, "Lady Fritha, I have brought home your stepdaughter Freya, called Aelfrethe, from abduction and, and torture in a foreign land. She bids me present myself to you, because she suffers from a wound that makes talking hard for her. But her mind is in no way impaired. I am one who was the fifth squire of Sir Snorri Midlafsson."

"Snorri's Five," Fritha said, wondering at her. "Were you...did you disguise yourself as a boy? For I am sure you passed as one."

"You could say I was disguised as one," Five said. "From myself too, since I was an infant. But, um, I have tried to serve your stepdaughter as faithfully as if I were her squire, and not Sir Snorri's."

"We were told you were dead," Fritha said. "Both of you. But you say Freya was tortured? We were told that she was devoured. By a beast. While you yourself died of drinking foul water."

Five and Freya looked at each other, and something like a smile passed over Freya's face.

"No, lady," Five said. "That's not what happened."

The crowd had gathered around them. Hargest stood beside Fritha. Freya and Five stood in the centre of a circle made by the onlookers. The rest of their group stood as part of the crowd, watching.

"Then, in god's name," Fritha said, "tell us. What happened?"

Five looked at her levelly for a long moment, and said nothing.

Never before had a kitchen boy, or kitchen girl, stared at Fritha in silence, for moments on end, when prompted to give an answer.

Then Five's gaze moved to somewhere behind her shoulder.

"Sir Ulf Jansson can tell you," she said quietly.

Fritha and Hargest turned slowly, and Ulf Jansson was standing behind them, staring at the two women, sweat beading on his forehead. He looked very, very angry.

"Sir Ulf?" Fritha said.

"I said that Freya was eaten by the worm, and that the boy drank poisoned water, and died," he said.

"And yet they stand before you," Fritha said. "How do you account for this."

"Very simply," Ulf said. He pointed his finger at Freya.

"That is not Freya," he said flatly. "And boys do not turn into girls. These women are imposters. Fortune hunters, confidence tricksters from the south, come to sponge off our hospitality. I know this to be true."

***

"He will deny it," Freya said, sitting on the bed, a week earlier. "He will deny everything. Ulf is one of the great persuaders in all the kingdoms. He will always prefer one big lie to many small, subtle ones, because it is easier for folk to remember. So he will simply deny it all, and stick to that."

"What if he does not?" Schuldt said. "What if he drops all pretence and simply admits the truth? After all, we will be standing there. You will be standing before your father. Can he truly deny that you are you?"

"Ulf's way," Freya said, picking an apple off the bedspread and inspecting it, "is to push hard and go forward, and not give an inch so that he can take two later. Yes, it is possible, he could simply drop it. It would be easier for us, to be sure. But it is not in his way, just as it is not in your way to keep your reservations to yourself, Schuldt. Whenever you notice the slightest flaw in a plan, have you ever been able to keep your mouth shut?"

He kept silent at the laughter that followed this. Freya smiled at him.

"No," she said. "That is why you are so annoying. And, why we need you."

She bit into the apple.

***

Five realised that her mouth had dropped open, and she closed it.

Fucking hell, Ulf Jansson, she thought. I know Freya said this would happen, but I never thought your balls were that big.

Fritha turned and stared at them both, then turned back to Ulf.

"Fortune-hunters?"

"I know this to be true," he said. "I saw Freya die. I have mourned her death every day since then, and I have worked and worked to atone for my slowness to prevent it. I know not who this...slack-tongued bitch is," he said, gesturing in Five's direction, "but every word that comes from her mouth is a lie, on my honour as a true soldier of Hargest."

There was silence. Ulf looked at them all in turn.

"Look at her," he said, pointing at Freya. "Freya would cut her hair? Defile her face, with the image of a serpent? A barbarian would shrink from such things, let alone the greatest of Hargest. To...to appeal to the feelings of a grieving mother and father like this, is, is...it disgusts me. Surely I am not the only one."

Five waited for Hargest or Fritha to tell him to stop talking such shit, but they didn't. Fritha just stood and looked stricken, and Hargest frowned. Five turned and saw Bern Huguis, who looked back at her.

"Bern Huguis," she said. "Do you now say you don't know me?"

Bern looked worried.

"Sir Ulf," he said, "the girl, she knows things she couldn't know, if she weren't who she says."

"Bern Huguis," said Ulf, "you, of all people, I would not have thought, could be fooled by a simple magic trick. She suggests things, you agree or disagree, and before long she has you thinking that she told it all to you herself. I have seen such stunts in cheap inns, countless times."

"It weren't like that," Bern said, but Ulf cut him off.

"In any case, you are a fool of a watchman, unfit for the field, and I am a knight of Hargest. I was in Casman with Freya, you were not. Do not speak, when you know nothing of what you say."

Ulf stepped forward, walking up to Freya, pulling himself up to his full height, which was unfortunately still about three inches shorter than hers.

"What did you hope to achieve, you southern bitch," he said, staring at her with loathing. "A good life, at the expense of these, the finest of the north? With your...what? Your serving girl, in tow? It is just as well that there are some of us who were there when Freya was killed, who know the truth, and who can call your lies for what they are. I was there, and believe me, I am the only one here who saw what happened to Freya. I alone know the truth, and I would have us hang these women from the gibbet, sooner than listen to any more of their lies."

Five looked at Freya. She was watching Ulf, and the secretive half-smile was still on her face. Five was worried that it made her look defensive and guilty. But she knew the truth. Freya knew the truth.

And the truth was walking towards them, making his way through the crowd. Five glanced at Freya again, and saw her go pale and look past Ulf.

"Begging your pardon, Sir Ulf," Five said, "but if it happened as you said, there must be more than you who saw it."

***

Ulf turned, and saw Nocens, approaching them, staring at Freya and Five in curiosity and puzzlement. A great wave of relief went through him.

"There is indeed," Ulf said. "Old father Nocens, these women have come from the south, posing as Freya Aelfrethe and her servant, and they claim that Freya was not killed by the Pantocrator. I have been telling the truth of what happened, and I know that you will bear me out. For you were there too, and only you and I know the truth."

Nocens looked at Freya and Five, and then at Hargest and Fritha, and turned and looked at the crowd. Finally, he looked at Ulf, and then he stroked his white beard.

"I am an old man," he said at last. "With age comes frailty, and my memory is as frail as that of any man who has seen what I have seen. For I have seen some terrible, terrible things, my friends, and yes, I have been the cause of them."

Good, thought Ulf, and he stepped back to let Nocens denounce them.

Nocens turned and walked over to Freya and stared at her for a long moment. She looked back at him, smiling no longer. Her face was taut with hatred.

"Young woman," Nocens said, and he paused, as if, Ulf thought, relishing the moment.

"Young woman," he repeated, "repentance came late to us. But, having come, we must ever take up its burden."

Get to the point, Ulf thought.

"A grave wrong has been done here," Nocens said loudly, his gaze sweeping the crowd. "A most grave wrong."

Here it comes, thought Ulf.

For a moment, Nocens' eyes met Ulf's. And he gave a very small smile.

Then he turned back to Freya.

"And it was done to you, Freya Aelfrethe," he said, and stepped back, and got stiffly to his knees before her.

The crowd gave out a collective sigh of shock. Ulf felt cold.

"We have repented," Nocens cried out. "We do not deserve forgiveness, but we can only beg for it. My lord, my lady," he went on, looking at Hargest and Fritha, "Sir Ulf does know the truth, and it grieves me to my heart that he cannot speak it out loud. This is your daughter, lord."

"What happened to her," Hargest said, his voice hoarse.

"We took her," Nocens said, "and we gave her to our...our beast. And, it tested her, lord. And it then gave her up."

***

Fritha stared at Nocens, appalled, and looked at Freya. Freya was quite still, watching Nocens, wearing the stone face that she'd always worn whenever her father was chastising her. Five was staring at Nocens too.

Fritha looked at Ulf, who was sweating harder than ever and looked like he'd eaten something foul that wanted to come up again. Carl Gunnarsson was standing directly behind him.

"Sir Ulf," Fritha said.

Ulf looked at her.

That is why, Fritha thought. All these times, we have asked you if you thought the Casmans were in good faith. And always, you have walked by the question.

She looked at Freya, and saw her standing there, still and silent, refusing to speak, as alive as ever, but still somehow not what she was. Defiant, as always, but terribly wounded.

O my sweet girl, Fritha thought. The bravest of us all. The swiftest and finest.

Even if you had not been you. Even if you had been anyone.

What have they done to you.

"And your men, lord," Nocens said, "they saw it leave her, but they left her on the plain, with this one." He indicated Five. "We, too! We left them there and returned to our homes, thinking that your men would return. But they did not, and the next morning, these two were gone. But, yes. Your daughter did not die. She lives. And she is before you."

Fritha fought to contend with the swarm of terrible images in her head. Images of what Freya had been through. Her heart pounded, and her throat ached.

"Freya," Fritha said, "is this true? This beast of theirs, it..."

Freya looked at Nocens for a long, long moment, and then turned and looked at Fritha, and nodded slowly and calmly.

Even just how calm she was tore at Fritha's heart. Not for the first time, she wanted to take a weapon and lay into someone. But that would do no one any good. She breathed deeply.

"Sir Ulf," Fritha said, fighting to control herself. "Explain this."

Ulf stood and stared back at Nocens.

"Lies," he said.

***

No one spoke. Five looked around. Ulf was as confident as ever. But Fritha was staring at him, and her pale eyes were cold.

Right, Five thought. Here we go.

"Sir Ulf," she said. "I was with you."

"You were not," he said, not even looking at her.

"I was there," Five said. "Not that there's anyone living who can bear me out, but I saw it. I saw her taken by that thing. And I asked you why you weren't doing anything. And you watched it happen, and you could have given the order, at any time, Sir Ulf, you could have given the order to bring down our men and stop it, or do something..."

He walked over to her, his face dark and furious.

Fuck. Right. Be ready.

"And you did nothing," she said. He swung at her with his fist and she didn't dodge it, or block it, exactly, she just took it and went with it so that it bloody hurt, but no bones were broken. The crowd gasped.

Five's ear was ringing and she tasted blood. She blinked and spat, then she straightened up.

"Enough of your lies," he shouted.

"You did nothing," Five said. "And when I couldn't wait for you any longer, and I said I was gonna stop it, you knocked me out."

He went to punch her in the stomach, and she blocked it, grabbed his arm and threw him on the ground. He sprawled in the mud, and the shock went through the crowd.

"Sir Ulf Jansson," she said, looking down at him, "I cannot strike you, because you are a knight, and I am no-one. But, stop it, now, sir. Stop what are you doing. You bring shame on this house, and on yourself. Stop it."

He lay in the mud, staring up at her. Five stepped away from where he could grab her. She glanced at Freya, who was looking down at Ulf with the kind of regard she would have had for a cat that had done a shit on the baron's favourite chair.

***

He looked at the ugly girl, and at Freya, and at Fritha and Hargest.

"Are you fucking blind?" he said to Hargest. "Are you so stupid, that you cannot see that these..."

"Stop it," said the ugly girl, sharply. The look on her face made him want to get up and strike her.

But he knew that it would do no good.

There was nothing. He had nothing.

He had tried everything, and it had been like pissing into the rain.

It was so fucking unfair. One mistake. One slip. A few minutes of...

Just because that fucking bitch needed to be taught a lesson, and...

"Ulf Jansson," said the baron, "You have dishonoured our house. Captain of the guard?"

"My lord," said Carl Gunnarsson, stepping forward, avoiding Ulf's eye.

But then Freya raised her hand, and Hargest stopped. Freya nodded to the girl.

"My lord," the girl said, "your daughter asks your forgiveness for interrupting. But, she does not wish to see Sir Ulf whipped, or branded, or placed in a gibbet, or given any of the usual punishments."

***

Hargest stared at Freya.

"Daughter," he said, "the stupidest gnome can see how much dishonour Ulf Jansson has brought upon our house. You must know it, more than anyone. Do you now seek to place yourself above me?"

Freya shook her head no and looked at Five.

"My lord," Five said, "Ulf Jansson is a man of great gifts, and if we split his tongue for a liar, we take away one of the greatest of 'em."

"Girl," Hargest said, "you are better-spoken than you should be, but you do not know the ways of the court. How can we trust him, now that we know the reach of his lies?"

"Begging your pardon, lord," Five said, "but you trusted him before you knew what harm he'd done, and was he so useless?"

God damn it, Hargest thought. This is the war. This is how the war has blunted our wits.

"Perhaps, though," Five said, "there is one thing Ulf Jansson needs to do."

Hargest looked at Freya, who was looking at the girl Five with a fondness that he'd never seen her have for anyone. Ulf Jansson was lying in the mud, almost cringing, almost crying.

Five looked at Hargest hopefully, as if she were encouraging him to guess what she meant. And then, he guessed it.

He walked over to Ulf, who was a pitiful shadow of his usual confidence.

"Jansson," Hargest said. "Very well. Enough is enough."

God, it was shaming. Jansson was snivelling, but he pulled himself together.

Yes, Hargest thought, you do have your uses. But you will have to be placed under the hardest whip. And perhaps that is punishment enough.