Friend with Benefits

In a few weeks I will be celebrating my silver wedding anniversary. I mention that as an early biographical detail but first I want to tell you about Phil. Phil always was and still is my best friend despite any other role that he will be perceived to fill. We first met aged about twelve and the friendship was forged in the playground as a mutual defensive alliance against much rougher boys.

Enjoying similar average educational potential, for the rest of our schooldays we were always in the same class, sitting close together. During early teenage, we spent evenings at each others homes playing board games and when the sap began to rise we went out on the pick-up as a reasonably successful partnership. Although, Phil was probably an inch the taller, we had the same average height and average build – even our dicks were the same average length and girth. However, disdaining false modesty, I can state that we were a couple of good looking guys. One way that we differed was in how we related to girls but our differences tended to complement each other. He was always ready with the brash amusing remark to engage the interest of our quarry but in any prolonged encounter he ran short of hip remarks, at which point I came into my own with intense interesting conversation. The big draw back for me in this situation was that, having made the initial approach, Phil generally tended to have the pick of the pair. This did not bother me too much because; getting your end away was the name of the game and the quality of the merchandise only of secondary consideration.

On night when we were aged twenty and regulars on the night club/disco circuit we hooked a couple of girls who were far better than the usual. Unusually, there was as little to choose between them in attractiveness as between my pal and myself. Aimee was the brunette and Alice the blonde. They took a table while we two went to the bar and then, with drinks in hand, I hung back a pace allowing Phil to precede me to the table and make his choice. Of the two, I marginally preferred the blonde but I knew that Phil had a weakness for blondes as well. So it was with pleased surprise that I saw him take the seat next to Aimee leaving Alice to me. On such arbitrary decisions do whole lifetimes revolve?

Now Phil and I had been strictly 'love em and leave em' types but both of these relationships stuck, largely because both of us knew that we had rather hit the jackpot. For six months we just went around together but then got a large two bed-roomed flat and we all four moved in but as two couples, Dave (that's myself) with Alice and Phil with Aimee. We were there for eighteen months and in retrospect, I can see that it was the happiest time of my life. Everything was free and easy, casual, uninhibited. Nothing was thought of nudity and we discussed everything under the sun.

There was a natural bond between the four of us. Although the situation was conducive to swapping this never happened but there was plenty of lesser physical familiarity. If one of us saw a female standing topless in the flat, it was permissible to creep up behind and grab her tits no matter who's woman it was. At New Year, Xmas and odd other occasions, pretty passionate kissing of the others partner was allowed in the spirit of the moment. Despite all this, real sexual activity (or suggestion of it), was confined to the respective bedrooms. On one famous occasion when we all four were lounging about naked; Alice said to Phil, "If you can't control that thing between your legs, at least have the decency to cover it with some clothes."

Phil ruined everything. I was more than happy with the set-up with no thought of straying but my pal couldn't keep his prick in his pants if there was any chance of spare. Trouble was he had the kind of job which brought him into constant contact with the bored housewife brigade. He made no secret of this illicit activity to me and always gave me a significant wink on the occasions that he scored. To be fair, he was very selective for, he told me, if he gave it to every woman that wanted it then Aimee would be sure to notice his lack of energy. Had he hidden his supply of condoms better then this story might have progressed differently. Aimee found them in his pocket when there was no legitimate reason for him to be carrying and was immediately suspicious. To cut a long story short, she managed to follow him and catch him in the act. Next thing we knew was that she was packing in tears and moving out. Alice said to me, "Aimee is a fool to take it so badly. With someone like Phil she has got to expect that kind of thing. To him it means nothing."

"So if it had been me messing about, you would have stayed?"

"No, I would have gone but that's different. With you it would have meant something," she told me. I pondered this remark for a long time and realised for the first time that there was a fundamental difference in outlook between Phil and myself.

The awkward situation in the flat did not last long because Phil suddenly announced that he had got a job abroad in Rhodesia. Partly as an act of good faith, I asked Alice to marry me and she accepted. From then it was a mad rush as we made arrangements for the wedding and Phil was going through all the formalities in preparation for his departure. The last function that my friend fulfilled was to act as my best man – who else would I have wanted. Coincidentally, his flight to Africa was a couple of hours before our own on honeymoon to Greece. My wife's passionate farewell kiss to him in the departure lounge was the first of their many clinches which aroused a twinge of jealousy in me.

To start with his letters were frequent but they became more and more sparse as his Rhodesian lifestyle absorbed him. The first two years of married life were truly happy before the worm of doubt crept into my mind. An unexpected inheritance had allowed us to buy a house better than our combined incomes warranted and we were able to pursue an accordant lifestyle. We went out a lot. I began to realise how very attractive Alice was and how very lucky I had been to capture her. The truth was that I only realised her true worth from seeing unconcealed desire in the eyes of other men. At parties she was invariably the centre of attention with the crowd around her exclusively male. It became very obvious that Alice was more gregarious than me and had a far more generous nature. In restaurants, I would see her smiling and turning round would see a man across the room raising a glass to her. "Who the hell is that?" I would ask.

"How the dickens should I know. He smiled at me so I smiled back. It does not do any harm and I might have made the poor man's day," she told me.

"He will take it as a come on. Don't these men ever pester you afterwards?"

"Some do but I simply tell them that I am a happily married woman and that I'm not interested."

I had to accept this but I had a growing belief that with the right man in the right situation, she would give a different answer. Memory of Phil's experiences in his last job returned to haunt me because, according to him, every wife that he called on during the day would have been willing to open her legs to him. It seemed that infidelity was endemic among wives of all ages and all classes. Of course I reasoned that my pal had exaggerated as an ego boosting thing so I decided to do some research on the subject.

The most important evidence that I found was the statistical analysis of the largest confidential survey of husbands and wives ever conducted. According to that no less than 92% of women were unfaithful at least once during the duration of their marriage. The percentage of women who had up to six affairs dropped drastically to 28% and the numbers who admitted to being more promiscuous came out at 9%. The comparative figures for men were 62% who cheated at least once, 26% up to six times and 14% who were grossly profligate with their seed. The basic conclusion was that most women felt compelled to try it but more men let it develop into a habit.

Further reading on the origins of civilisation provided arguments to support these figures. The conventional wisdom was that primitive men and women were equally promiscuous. This said that men wished to impregnate as many women as possible but that the women were constantly in search of the best seed. The book that I read disputed this. It claimed that most men were more than happy if they could find a warm moist hole to stick their dick while agreeing that the females were happy to get as much seed inside them as possible. It also made the point that the bulk of men would find it difficult to satisfy three women but that a woman could send three men away happy without needing to break sweat. Hence, all women needed to let at least one extraneous man between their legs just to satisfy genetic programming.

All of this made perfect sense to me and increased the conviction that Alice was inevitably going to let at least one other man screw her. I spent hours contemplating this prospect and invariably finished up trembling. I also finished up very aroused but that is beside the point.

The inescapable conclusion was that, if I could get Alice to have sex with a man of my choice in controlled circumstances then the danger would be largely over. How to engineer the deed was the big problem. Whoever the lucky man turned out to be, he needed to appear, affect the seduction and then disappear from our lives forever. Moreover, he could not be in any way exceptional. Suppose for instance that he was much better endowed than myself, he could easily give Alice a taste for what I could not provide and so encourage further infidelities instead of making them unlikely. It was quite a conundrum.

One day on the wall of a public convenience cubicle, I read the words 'I will fuck your wife while you watch', together with a phone number. This seemed like a very viable solution so I rang. I had expected to be the one asking the questions but he immediately started interrogating me about Alice, age, looks, figure and sexual preferences - he seemed very picky about who would get the benefit of his services. I wondered aloud if he got many husbands ringing him and he said that I would be surprised – there was almost more business than he could handle. Attracted by the description of my wife, he began to sell himself, namely a monster nine inch plus dick and fantastic virility. This alone suddenly made it seem not quite such a good idea so I mumbled something about ringing later after conferring with my wife but I never did.

The next month a letter from Phil announced that, having completed a three year contract, he was coming back to England for three months. We wrote back immediately offering to accommodate him for all or part of his holiday and he telephoned to accept. It was during the two weeks spent waiting for him to arrive that I realised that he could provide the ideal solution to my dilemma. Of all the men in the world, Phil was the one I would least mind Alice going to bed with and there was the thought that, after his holiday, he would be disappearing back to Africa for at least another three years. "When we all lived together, did you ever fancy Phil?" I asked Alice one evening when we had been drinking and were sitting with the TV off, in mellow contemplation.

"Of course I did," she told me frankly. "But Aimee fancied you, she told me that. I would have been happy if we had lived more communally if you know what I mean. That would not have suited Aimee though and I doubt if it would really have suited you."

"How will you manage with Phil living with us again – the attraction will probably still be there?"

"I'm married to you now," she said. "Anyway, Phil will only be using this as a base – we will probably hardly see him."

"That is not the impression I got. Talking on the phone, Phil said that he is only coming back to see us. I don't think he has plans to go anywhere else so he will be with us most of the time. Around the house."

"So?"

"Well – if you were tempted, I would understand. I wouldn't mind in the way that I would if it was someone else."

"What are you trying to say?" she asked giving me a funny look.

"Nothing. Just that – he is a very attractive bloke it would be only natural if you had a moment of weakness while he is here."

"Do you want me to go to bed with Phil?"

I should have said 'Yes' and got it out in the open but I was unsure of my wife's reaction. Instead I said, "No – that's not what I said."

"You don't seem to know exactly what it is you do want. I think we should go to bed straight away before something gets agreed that you might regret," Alice said decisively getting up and heading towards the stairs.

I was rather satisfied with the outcome because I was pretty sure now that Alice was not averse to the idea of being screwed by Phil. If it happened, it had to be because she wanted it – I did not want her to open her legs just to please me. As an aside, you may wonder how I can remember conversations so well after twenty odd years – the explanation is that every word is imprinted on my memory.

We had planned to meet Phil at the airport but he had caught an early flight and surprised us by turning up at the house. The passion of the kiss that he gave Alice exceeded that of the one they had shared on his departure, then having finally released her, he snatched her back saying, "I want some more of that. God – I had forgotten how long I have been away."

I was gratified by the enthusiasm with which my wife returned his embrace and by his obvious sign of arousal as he went to sit down - it seemed as if everything might turn out as I wished without my direct intervention. Phil looked tanned, confident, prosperous and more mature but the old rapport was still there between us. Within an hour, apart from his changed appearance, it was almost as if he had never been away. For the first few days we did little more than sit about chatting or rather, we listened while he related his many adventures, (including the amorous). I left them alone as much as I could but lurked nearby, always ready to spot a look, a touch, a word. I was disappointed.

Both Alice and I had six weeks holiday due from our places of employment. We both took the first two weeks of my friends visit and the final two weeks. For the interim two months we had booked independent weeks which left only six weeks when Phil was left completely to his own devices. The rough plan was that when alone he would mix independent longer trips with day only expeditions, spending those evenings with us on our return from work. As I had cast Phil in the role of white knight to save my lady from herself, I was anxious to set the plan in motion rather than wait and hope that nature would take its course.

That first Saturday morning, Alice had gone to the hairdresser so I took the opportunity of having a quiet word with my friend. "Is that old attraction between you and Alice still there?" I asked him suddenly.

"I don't know what you mean," he said looking very wary.

"Course you do. When the four of us lived together, I know that you fancied Alice. I fancied Aimee and didn't particularly try to hide it."

He laughed. "Oh that. Yes, I still fancy her, in fact I fancy her a damn sight more now than I did then. She has developed; she's much more a woman now than just a girl."

I just nodded but I think that the satisfaction must have shown on my face. "There must have been a reason for your question?" he asked.

"While you are on holiday, there are going to be periods when I will be at work and there will only be Alice to keep you company." I started to say slowly.

Phil gave a great guffaw and clapped me on the shoulder. "You have got no worries on that score old friend. I was your best man for God's sake. I fancy Alice like crazy but of all the women in the world, she is the only one who is totally sacrosanct as far as I am concerned."

This was not what I wanted to hear. "There is no reason for her to be sacrosanct," I mumbled.

He looked at me as if disbelieving what he had heard so I hurried on, "I mean, I wouldn't mind too much if you really wanted to."

"Hold on – that sounds very much as if you are inviting me to seduce your wife."

"Perhaps I am," I said.

Phil got out his cigarettes, gave me one and then lit them both. "Dave, we've known each other far too long to pussy foot around on something like this," he said slowly. "If you have got something on your mind then you had better spit it out."

I told him the whole thing. My wife's friendly nature, the survey results and all my supporting research. I stated my conviction that one good session of infidelity should satisfy the genetic programming and put any idea of cheating out of Alice's head for good. I finished by saying, "So in a way you would be doing me a favour."

Phil nodded his agreement. "I see what you mean," he said. "I really do see what you mean."

"You'll do it then?"

"The first week that I am alone with Alice I'll try my luck. It has got to be subtle and casual – I do not want to come on all blatant and spoil the relationship."

"There's no need to wait until then," I told him eagerly. "Early this afternoon, I am going to be called into work to deal with an emergency. I won't be back until very late."

Phil reached out and shook my hand. "I'll do what I can," he said.

"Just two conditions," I qualified, slightly too late, "I don't want Alice to know that we had this conversation and I would like you to keep me up to date with progress reports."

Alice returned home looking very nice and we had lunch. Afterwards the three of us sat around chatting with me like the proverbial cat on a hot tin roof. When the telephone rang, I was out of my chair with the receiver in my hand before the second ring. "Damn, are you sure that you need me. Well if it's that bad then I suppose I had better come in," I said loudly in a theatrical fashion. Then, to the other two I explained, "There has been a bit of a disaster at work and they need me to go in, I could be very late."

I bustled round gathering items that I usually took to work then at the door I paused and looked back. "I'm sorry that I have got to leave you two ALONE. I'm sure you will be able to find something that you both like to do," I said significantly. It was only in retrospect a long time afterwards that I realised how very clumsy this was.

In the car, I did not of course go into work. I circled round, parked in a lane then walked half a mile through woodland until I reached the crest of a hill overlooking my house. Finding a good vantage point, I got out my powerful binoculars and settled down to wait. I could see into the lounge where I had left them, with mine and Alice's bedroom immediately above. I could clearly see the bed inside the small bedroom but that was unlikely to be used. I had no real hopes of really seeing anything happen but the small signs would be enough – standing together, touching and particularly any sign of undress.

I was there from three o'clock in the afternoon until eleven at night and I witnessed nothing. They did move about but well separated and I somehow lost track of them for four hours altogether, two hours in the afternoon and two at night, between both of these periods I watched them eat at the table under the window. Twice I had to hide due to ramblers wandering past to avoid being taken for a peeping tom. I started off full of excitement and anticipation but by the end I was cold and cramped, cursing myself for not having had the foresight to take either a flask or food - or enough cigarettes for I had run out several hours before. There was disappointed that I had seen nothing happen but I was not despondent because they could easily have sneaked up to Phil's room, at the back of the house, during those enforced absences from my point of observation.