Fringe Benefits

"Are you out of your fucking mind?!" she shrieked, throwing her hands up in the air.

He leaned back in the chair away from the computer and looked at her with an expression of feigned innocence. "What?"

"WHAT!? Sean, do you even know what you just suggested?"

"Of course I do." He said lightly. "It's not that big a deal."

She looked away out of frustration, dropping the stapler she had come to deliver on the floor and putting her face in her hands. He was absolutely insane. There was no doubt in her mind about it anymore.

"I come over here, as I have countless times before- simply to return something that's yours- and this is what you suddenly say to me. Is that all you think of me?"

"Of course not! You know you mean something to me. This is to help you as much as me."

She looked up from her hands. "You are proposing nothing but POINTLESS ANIMALISTIC FUCKING! How could that POSSIBLY help me?"

"You don't have to call it that," he said standing. "Haven't you ever heard of "friends with benefits" before?"

"Of course I have... I just didn't think it was something that people... like me... did."

"People like you?"

"You know what I mean, people with... with... with sexual morals! I know there are more like me around. I'll bet the majority of people wouldn't even THINK to do anything like what you're suggesting."

"Audrey, we live on a college campus! Look around you- you honestly think it's not going on with dozens of people around us? Millions of people have done this before. All it means is no obligation, no feelings to get in the way. It's good for you."

"How is it good for me? You don't know what's good for me. It's my life now, not yours. We don't share things like that anymore."

"It's good for you," he said lowering his voice. "Because it relieves stress. It's about helping each other out. We both need this. I do know what's good for you. I know how strong your hormones are. Remember how you used to beg for it so you've be able to sleep better later? It's the same. It will help you. And right now I need it. I think you do too."

"But it's not the same!" she cried shrilly. "Sean- we ended things! Months ago, we agreed that it wasn't working out and we made it over between us- no more love, no more sex, no nothing! I don't love you anymore!"

"I know that."

"Well, you're acting as if you can turn back time!"

"I'm not. I'm just proposing we try something new."

"We both know it's over between us."

"But you're still attracted to me," he said, his voice dangerously low. His deep brown eyes were penetrating her.

She looked away. She couldn't answer him. She knew he was right about that. Until she found someone new, it was his face and body she imagined when she was aroused. She couldn't tell him that. That was a secret she would go to the grave with. She wasn't proud of the fact that this man still inhabited her sexual fantasies, and she wasn't going to tell him about them. The seconds ticked by and neither of them said anything until he cleared his throat softly.

"You know you still turn me on."

"I still turn- how can that be?"

"It is. You know it's true."

"I don't believe you. It's been too long, I know how men are. You don't linger on woman for so long."

He grabbed her hand and put it on the crotch of his jeans. "Feel," he ordered, pressing her fingers into him. "You feel that? He's not asleep. You've woken him up." He moved her hand back and forth across it, her eyes wide as she felt the stiffness beneath her fingers. Then she pulled back her hand like it was on fire.

"Stop it." She whispered. She shook her hand as if it was dirty. "Is that really- you're not-"

He laughed harshly. "How could I possibly fake something like that- you think maybe I'm smuggling a banana in my pants?"

"But how- how can this be- we haven't even done anything."

"Memories are the most powerful aphrodisiac there is. Just the sight of you and talking about this gets me going. I've just been remembering how we used to make love all night. How hard I got for you when we were apart, how we used to go at it so hard when you got back. Every way you used to touch me is still in my mind."

"But it's different now. We don't love each other anymore. It wouldn't be making love anymore and you know it!"

"Yes, I know it," he admitted. "That's why I suggested it now and not sooner. It had to be when neither of us had any feelings for each other anymore. Otherwise it doesn't work. It's just fucking now."

"You know I don't like just fucking. I never have and I've always told you that. I think it, along with life, should have more meaning than that."

"Is that so."

"Absolutely."

"Have you ever even tried it."

"No," she said coldly. "I've never needed to."

"You've never been touched when you weren't in love."

"No. Why should I?"

"For experience. It's different. How do you know you wouldn't like it- all it is is sheer pleasure. No obligation. No worries. Nothing holding you back. It's an incredible way to fuck."

"But it's just fucking," she whispered.

"That's right. It's just fucking. There is nothing more to it. It's like mutual masturbation. Just getting pleasure for yourself. Releasing the tension."

No matter how strong his selling point, she couldn't give in to this. She wanted it, she wanted to be fucked again. But why give in to this. It seemed wrong. It probably wasn't, it just seemed that way. It was inviting as fuck, but she had to hold out if she could. She knew she wanted it. But how much was she willing to sacrifice of her morals to get it.

"But if you do this once with me, you'll want it again," she protested. She knew her control was wavering and she was running out of reasons.

"So will you," he insisted. "I promise you."

"But..." she trailed off. She had nothing left to say.

"Just try this out." He urged her. She stared blankly at him, not moving. She didn't knew what to say or do.

"Aud," He said. He touched her face. Then in one movement his body was pressed against hers and he was kissing her. His lips were so hot and inviting it was like she'd never been kissed before. Her eyes fluttered shut as he grabbed her hair with his hands and kissed her harder. Her hands went to his face, holding him to her. He gently separated her teeth with his tongue and slid it inside her mouth. It tangled around hers, as if asking it out to play. She couldn't stop herself from kissing him back and soon she was thrusting her tongue into his mouth. Their mouths were fused together again after so long. He pushed her up against the wall behind her so the entire length of his body was against her and she couldn't get away. Her breathing came faster and she captured his tongue between her teeth and toyed with it, as if she could pretend it was hers again. One of his hands slid down her front and slipped in between her legs. He used his fingers to fondle her through her clothes and she breathed in so fast she almost choked on his tongue. He stroked her through the fabric as he kissed her, causing her to make a noise against her will. She broke off the kiss as a desperate attempt to get some air into her lungs. She felt dizzy, what had just happened? There was more feelings and hormones and longing in her body in that one kiss than she had felt in the past three months. She felt like she couldn't hold out any more. Her hormones that had been bottled up were now flowing free throughout her body. He wasn't moving away, his hand was still between her legs and she could feel herself getting wet.

"Ohhh fuck..." she moaned as he kissed the side of her face and her chin. She wanted him too badly and he could tell. She would be his.

"You know you want this." He told her softly. His mouth was moving up towards her ear. He brushed her hair out of the way.

"I do want it..."

"What do you want?"

"This." She hissed. "I want this now." She was going insane, she needed to have him at that moment or she would go mad. She needed his body on hers, under hers, inside hers again.

His tongue was up inside her ear. He nipped at her earlobe. "Tell me what you want," he whispered.

"I want you to fuck me..."

"You want me to fuck you?" he asked softly, nosing in her hair.

"Yes..."

"Hard?"

Her hands were grabbing his hair between her fingers. "Yes, hard!"

"How hard?" he teased.

She grabbed his hair so tight it had to hurt. "I want you to fuck me as hard as you fucking can. Do you understand?"

He broke off teasing her and pulled away. His eyes had sort of a glassy stare to them. It wasn't attraction, it wasn't anything towards love, it looked just like lust. She'd seen it before when they had first started fooling around. He was back to how he used to be. He didn't make any more moves, just looked at her and said simply, "Then let's do this." He pushed her lightly away and started to take off his clothes.

In the past her clothes had been seduced off her by him, but this time it was like they were robots, mechanically removing their own clothes as if they were just undressing normally by themselves. As if this was nothing special, an attitude kind of like let's get this on and over with and get back to our normal lives. She didn't even bother trying to put on a show taking them off sexily, what was the point, it wasn't like she was trying to impress him anymore. She just pulled them off and tossed them aside. She wasn't even putting up a fight to taking them off anymore. She saw him looking curiously at her underclothes. "Your underwear has improved," he commented off the cuff. Which was true, she'd gone to more interesting lingerie since the breakup because it helped remind her that she was still a sexual being.

She rolled here eyes. "Gee, thanks a lot. I don't see how that's any of your business."

"It's not, I mean. I was just commenting. I mean wondering, I guess, why would you start wearing that after we split? You never did before."

She dropped the shirt she was holding out of agitation. "Look, we're not together anymore. Which means I'm not the same woman. I wear it because I like to feel sexy. I'm still a woman after all."

"Yeah, I guess. I mean yeah, of course..." he muttered, looking away and pulling off his shoes and socks. She proceeded to remove the remainder of her clothes.

She started when he heard a snort. Looking up she saw him half-naked with raised eyebrows looking at her naked body.

"What?" she asked agitatedly.

"You've let it grow back."

"Well I- of course I did. Not everyone likes it shaved. You didn't think I was going to keep shaving every day until I looked like a freaking mannequin in case that someday you decided to get together with me again, did you?"

Aware that he was in dangerous waters he hesitated. "No, I just thought that... maybe it would have become a habit. You know, after doing it for so long."

"That's true to only a point- I shave everything except this part in front. Bleeds the most." She explained dryly. "Besides, I still shave the legs and armpits."

"I see." He said awkwardly. Nothing more was said as he removed the rest of his clothes without performance. They both climbed into the bed and she hesitated, not knowing what to do next. They'd been in this situation so many times before and she'd never hesitated. It was just so different now. He knew where he was going though, having been in this place before. Making the first move he leaned forward and captured her mouth again, thrusting his tongue inside. She finally welcomed it, always loving the way he kissed her. His mouth was so warm and inviting. He gripped onto his shoulders as he kissed her. She ran her hands down his chest, feeling the muscles, as taut as they had ever been. He hadn't changed a bit. She felt the smooth expanse of his stomach and played her fingers through the short curly hairs on it. As he continued his assault on her mouth she wrapped her arms around him under his arms, hugging his torso to hers. She had missed feeling his body against hers. Using her tongue she explored his mouth, running it over his teeth and playing with his tongue. She pulled their lips apart and bit his lip. She knew that he could feel her shivering, she was so full of hormones and emotions at the moment it seemed they had overflowed her mind into her body and were making her quiver. It had been far too long. She ran her fingers through his hair, stroking his ears gently. Then she turned his head and ran her tongue around the rim of his ear, then delved it inside. She knew he loved to feel that, and got pleasure from feeling his body twitch from this touch. He moaned and pushed her back onto the pillows behind them. She pulled her mouth from his ear and lightly caressed his face, seeing the look in his eyes.

"It's been so long since I've touched anyone," he whispered as he roughly cupped her breast.

So long since he had touched anyone- he hadn't said so long since he touched her- because she wasn't the object of his affection anymore. It wasn't her body he had been longing to touch for so long, it had been the body of a sexual partner in general. She didn't let this phase her, she knew it to be true and there was no point pretending otherwise.

"How long?" she asked.

"Three months, I think. Same as you. Not since we were together."

She felt a nasty gleam of triumph knowing that he had no better luck in the dating world than she had. But she hastily chased that thought out of her mind as childish and greedy. "That's really not that long," she said, remembering her year long periods.

"It is for me."

"Oh." She had nothing more to say on the matter. Just another way the two of them were different. He broke the silence by lowering his head down and biting her on the collarbone. She sighed to encourage him. She could see his swollen erection between them, blood flowing through it making it thicker as they went on. He ran his tongue down the space from her neck to her chest. His hands tugged at her hard nipples, teasing them while he took a fold of flesh below her breasts into his mouth and rolled it between his teeth. Her breathing grew tight in anticipation. Finally he moved his head and took one of her nipples into her mouth. She gasped at that feeling that she'd waited so long for. He gently suckled at it, nipping at it with his teeth. The sight was incredible, just watching him sucking on her nipple again, her fingers laced tightly in his hair. He switched over to the other nipple, leaving the first one glistening with moisture, tight and hard and rosiest as it had ever been. Her whole breasts tingled from the sensation. He released her nipple and moved down her torso, dipping her tongue into her navel. His hands were on her thighs, and she was tingling anticipating his next move. But he didn't go any lower, just teased around her waist with his tongue.

"I think I know somewhere else that is aching to feel your tongue." She murmured, trying to give him a hint.

He looked up for a moment but she couldn't read his expression. He just lowered his face back down and nuzzled her belly again. "Mmm," is all he said. Then after a moment he pulled his face back up and nipped at her neck again.

It took her a moment, but she figured out what had just happened. He used to insist on going down on her, because he knew it gave her so much pleasure. He claimed to get pleasure out of it too. But she remembered that he once told her he was very particular about who he went down on, it had to be someone he had strong feelings for. But, she realized, with a pang, that wasn't her anymore. Of course it wasn't, neither of them harbored those feelings anymore. So of course now he was disgusted by the notion of going down on her. He wouldn't want to put his mouth anywhere near there. He wouldn't be receiving any pleasure from it. She had to tell herself not to be insulted at this, it was just his nature after all.

He ended the awkward moment by licking two of his fingers and sliding them down her abdomen and slicked them over her swollen opening, then finally pushed them inside. She gasped and grabbed his arm. "Oh wow," he murmured with his eyes closed. "You're so tight." She nodded breathlessly. He looked at her again, legs spread, face flushed and riding on the sensation. He thrust his fingers inside her rapidly, making her breathe faster. She looked down at his arm thrusting into her, a sight she had always loved. He wriggled his fingers inside of her, hitting her g-spot with a slight curve of his fingers every time he pulled out and then thrust again. She was shuddering and her muscles were clenching at this feeling she'd waited so long for. His fingers were giving her more pleasure than she'd gotten out of her own in months. Just thrusting in and out of her was driving her wild. She whispered for him to stop, she was getting close. She pulled his fingers out of her, and pushing him back on the bed she climbed on top of him.

She straddled his legs and grabbed his hardness that was between them. He gave an involuntary intake of breath and his eyelids slid shut. She ran her hand up and down the shaft, giving it a few swift strokes. Then she slid down his legs and took the tip of it into her warm mouth. He breathed in sharply again, grabbing at her shoulders. She ran her tongue around the head, teasing him.

"Oh, babe," he murmured with his eyes closed. His breathing was shallow and rapid, gritting his teeth. She felt a pang of grief at that statement. That used to be her name in that exclamation. He always said it with her name when they were together because he knew how much it meant to her. Now it was merely babe- she'd become nothing more than another faceless woman. Just something to diffuse his lust. It wasn't passion anymore, just mere lust for another human being. She swallowed. She felt more excited than she had at months by what he was doing, but she suddenly realized that she was unable to say his name also. Things weren't as they used to be. She couldn't attribute all her pleasure to him anymore. But she couldn't let her herself dwell on that. Tonight was a night for releasing tension and lust, nothing more. He was just her partner in crime, so to speak. Just a fucking partner. He'd said so himself.

She released him from her mouth and moved back up his legs. Her thighs on either side of him she felt the familiar ache to feel something inside her. She grabbed his cock with her hand which by now was so hard it barely felt like flesh. Positioning herself over him she lowered herself down until just the tip was in her. He moaned and threw his head back. She took it slowly, inch by inch until she felt him all the way inside of her. She felt her flesh stretching to accommodate him again after so long. Looking down she saw their bodies totally connected once more. It was so incredible, feeling him inside her again. It was what she had been wanting for so long. Her thighs gripped him and she started to rock back and forth on top of him. He moaned again and started to buck slowly into her. She pressed her hand into his chest, warning him to take it slow. She needed to be opened up again. She was leaning forward with her hands on his torso grabbing his flesh. She shook the hair out of her eyes so she could see his face as he reached around and grabbed her ass with his hands. She leaned forward to bite at his neck as he thrust into her. He moved his hands to her hips to guide her up and down on him. She felt like her whole body was flushing with all the movement. She rocked back and forth on him, her breathing ragged and his hands guiding her. His hips were leaving the bed as he bucked into her. She could feel him swelling larger inside of her and it felt so good. She was mesmerized by their synchronized movements that they used to do together so well and had abandoned for so long.