From Dork to Dapper

I never imagined I'd ever even think this, but damn, my little brother is hot.

It's not that I never noticed it before. It's because... well, because he used to not be. He'd always been a short, chubby nerd, but in the two years that I was abroad, he'd slimmed down and shot up. Liam was still a nerd—no doubt about that—but I was positive that a new wardrobe and contact lenses instead of his thick beer-bottle-bottom glasses could easily make him the hottest kid in his school.

* * * *

It was weird coming back home after two full years. It felt like so much stayed the same, but so much changed. And not just my brother.

Actually, maybe things had stayed mostly the same. Maybe it was just me who changed. I guess traveling alone to a foreign country to spend two years as a transfer student changes you. How could it not, right?

I didn't really feel different though. Older, maybe. And smarter too—or at least possessing a brain crammed with more information, both relevant and irrelevant. But I know something definitely changed, because I used to love the smallness and coziness of my sleepy hometown, but when I came back, it just felt claustrophobic. Coming from a country that's known for its brashness, the people back home seemed too sweet, and definitely too nosy.

If things had remained the same, I would have spent another year abroad and finished my bachelor's degree there. But my mom had just been diagnosed with cancer, and they wanted me to come home, to be close. I wanted to come home too. I would have never forgiven myself if I'd decided to stay away while my mother suffered. But I couldn't help miss my apartment and friends across the ocean.

My semester ended, and I rushed to pack up two years' worth of stuff so I could come home. And then I was back home, feeling guilty that my heart was torn.

I arrived home on my brother's 18th birthday. We'd actually planned it that way so I could surprise him—he thought I was coming home the next week. He'd never let on when we'd spoken or emailed, but my parents said he really missed me. He did seem pretty excited to see me when I showed up, a week early. And I tried to hide my surprise, but I couldn't help but feel tingles up and down my body when I hugged him, this newly smoking hot brother of mine.

* * * *

We're only three years apart, so when I was a senior in high school, he was a freshman. When he was in elementary school, he had a strict bedtime, but once he became a high schooler, my parents relaxed the rules a bit. Most nights, the two of us ended up going to sleep after they did, but usually around the same time, so we developed a bedtime routine so we wouldn't get in each other's way.

Which is why that night, when my parents were sleeping and my brother was in the shower, I walked into the bathroom, pajama clad, to brush my teeth, just like I always used to.

I never peeked at Liam in the shower when we were in high school—not to be mean, but there wasn't really much to look at—but I couldn't help myself this time. As I brushed my teeth, I positioned myself so I could see the shower door in the mirror. But the door was fogged up, so I couldn't see anything.

Disappointed, I continued brushing my teeth. But as I bent down to spit my used toothpaste into the sink, my brother's ass brushed against the glass door, wiping away some of the fog.

And then he turned around. And I saw his cock.

Not to be cliché or anything, but my brother is hung like a horse. I mean, damn. I'm not a slut, but I have seen my fair share of guys' cocks. And none of them measure up to Liam's. Literally.

I was so surprised I actually dropped my toothbrush into the sink, and the noise made my brother jump. I realized then that he hadn't even known that I was in the bathroom. As I stood there, ogling my brother's cock in the mirror, he whisper-yelled at me to get out. But I barely processed it. It took a second whisper-yell, a little louder this time, to jolt me out of my state of shock.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I stage whispered back. "I'm going!" I gathered my stuff and walked out of the bathroom and into my room. I did actually feel bad for startling him, and I guess for ogling, but honestly, with a cock like that, my brother seriously had nothing to be ashamed of.

I get it though. I'm his big sister. And the last time I saw him completely naked was when he was two and I was five, the last time my mom bathed us together.

I didn't know how he wanted me to react after what happened, or if he wanted me to pretend it hadn't actually happened, so I decided I'd follow his lead. Which that night, seemed like we were going for the latter.

I can't promise I didn't think of him as I drifted off to sleep, though.

* * * *

When I woke up the next morning, I was still thinking of my brother's gigantic cock. And I was quite horny, to say the least. I may have spent a little extra time in the shower... And yes, I did think about him while I got myself off. I'm not ashamed to say it. I probably should be. But I'm not. I'm not sure what that makes me, though.

I didn't really know how I should act during breakfast, but my brother saved me that decision by disappearing to school before I even came downstairs. I sensed that he was avoiding me—and I totally understood why—but I knew it couldn't continue like this forever. It was just a matter of time...

I spent the morning with my mom; I took her to a chemo appointment and met her doctors. They seemed great, and my mom was trying to be upbeat, but I knew she was in pain and it was all really uncomfortable for her.

When her treatment was over, she was beat, so we went straight home. I figured we'd spend the rest of the day chilling in her bed together, sleeping on and off—her because of the chemo, and me because of the jetlag.

We actually did both doze off soon after our heads hit the pillow, and we slept for a couple of hours. It was the sound of banging cabinets downstairs that woke me up. Thankfully, my mom was still sleeping, so I quietly slipped out of the room.

Inwardly, I was panicking slightly, thinking an intruder was in the house. It only took me a minute to remember that my brother was in middle of finals and must have come home after finishing his test.

I crept downstairs, so as not to wake up my mother, and tiptoed to the kitchen.

My brother was standing at the kitchen counter, cutting up vegetables for a salad. I stood in the doorway for a couple of minutes, watching him work. His baggy clothes hid most of his muscles, but I could still see some of them as he moved around, preparing his lunch. And I just couldn't take my eyes off of him.

When my brother was finished preparing his salad, he turned around, carrying his bowl, presumably to go sit at the table. It was then that he noticed me, and nearly dropped his salad bowl in surprise. He probably would have had upside down salad, if not for his fast reflexes.

"Hey Liam," I said, grinning with one side of my mouth.

He stared at me for a moment, then said accusingly, "You scared me."

"I'm sorry. I promise I didn't mean to."

"How long were you—?"

"Just a couple of minutes."

"Why though??" he asked, confusion spelled out all across his face.

Dammit, caught. Think fast! "Maybe I just missed my little brother," I said jokingly.

"Well you sure have really creepy ways of showing it," he said, and not in a joking voice.

He was still holding his salad bowl, looking confused and lost, so I gently took the bowl from his hand and placed it on the table. Then I walked around him, pulled out a chair, and put my hand on his shoulder to guide him to sit down.

I walked back around the chair and sat down opposite him, across the table.

"Liam, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for last night and I'm sorry for just now. I should have asked you before I came in to the bathroom, or not come in at all. Just being back in this house is sending me back into my old routines. It wasn't right of me to walk in on you like that. I should have respected your privacy."

Liam stared at me again, for so long that it started to make me uncomfortable.

"Say something? Please?" I asked quietly, trying not to sound desperate, scared that I'd alienated him just a few hours after coming home.

After a few more excruciating moments, he sighed, then lifted his fork and speared some of his salad.

"It's okay. I'm just not used to having other people around. Mom's always resting and Dad's always busy, so it gets really quiet and lonely. Plus, you scared the shit out of me. Figuratively." He took a bite of his salad and chewed slowly, staring again at me.

"I'm sorry, I really am s—"

"It's fine," he said, waving his fork in the air like a king pardoning his subject.

I drew back in the chair, still feeling guilty for scaring him and for being a Peeping Pam.

Liam was three-quarters of the way through his salad before he realized that I was staring down at my lap and not talking.

"Did I break you?" he asked, half joking. I shrugged, still looking down at my lap. Liam reached across the table and lifted my chin with the back of his fork.

"Ugh," I said, wiping off my chin.

"I used the back!"

"Still," I said, then looked back down at my lap.

"Em, please, can you talk to me?" Liam asked. I ignored him.

Liam then displayed a surprising show of empathy, something that I'd never see from him before. "I'm sensing that you're feeling guilty right now." I looked up, shock etched across my face.

Liam laughed and said "Psych 101, great class. Really though, you don't have to feel guilty. It was a mistake. If you kept doing it, then we might have a problem. But I'm really not upset. Please don't beat yourself up about it."

Turns out, my brother is great at this Psych stuff, because what he said made me feel better. Well enough to get another fork from the drawer across the room, then scurry back and sneak some of his salad.

"Hey!" Liam said, swatting at me with the back of his hand. "This. Is. My. Food. Go make your own if you're hungry."

I employed the best of my puppy eyes, the ones that notoriously get me everything, but he saw right through them. "Lazy ass. I'm not giving you any of my food."

I cackled. "You already have!" I got up before he could swat at me again, and went to the fridge to look for something else to eat.

Liam was done eating his salad by the time I had finished scrounging around for ingredients and making my food, but he stayed at the table, flipping through the newspaper my father had left there after he ate his breakfast.

"So," I said, "what's your schedule for the rest of the week?"

Liam looked at me quizzically. "Why do you care?"

"Um because you're my brother and I haven't seen you in two years and things are super awkward between us right now because I was a Peeping Pam and I'm just trying to make things a little less awkward."

Liam stared at me for a few seconds, then burst out laughing. "Peeping Pam! That's a good one!" He slapped his palm on his thigh a few times.

It was my turn to stare then. And I stared at him the entire time he was laughing, not sure how to react.

After a minute of straight laughing, Liam calmed down and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Em, chill. You're so tense right now."

I breathed in and out deeply, and realized that my shoulders and back muscles actually were tight. As I tried to relax, Liam started to answer my question, forgetting—or pretending—that he hadn't just laughed maniacally for 60 seconds.

"I have two more finals this week, and then I'm done. Graduation is next week Friday." He looked at me questioningly. "You coming?"

I took another deep breath and tried to still my nerves, which were all over the place from the wacky conversation we were having. "Honest, I totally forgot about it."

Liam's face sunk. I hadn't realized that he really wanted me to come. "But yeah, of course I'll come! How can I miss the chance to see my baby brother walk down the aisle in front of scores of people, while wearing a dress-that-people-pretend-is-not-a-dress."

Liam snorted, but then smiled. "Thanks Em. I actually bought a ticket for you already. I mean, Mom and Dad paid, but I had you in mind when I counted my guests. Not that anyone else is coming for me besides for you three."

He quieted, and I could see the confidence leave his body like air from a popped balloon.

I lowered the grilled cheese sandwich that I was about to take a bite from, slightly concerned. "You didn't invite any neighbors or friends? Grandpa??"

Liam shook his head, and I asked "Why?"

He shrugged, but when I crossed my arms against my chest, he said, "Money. I didn't want Mom and Dad to spend so much money on tickets, they need everything for Mom's treatment. And they've already spent so much money on me this year, between Senior trip, yearbook, college applications..."

Poor kid. He shouldn't have to worry about these kinds of things. I knew he was technically an adult, but newly minted high school graduates should be worry-free. At least as worry free as I was when I graduated, if you don't count the typical worries about starting at a new college, moving out, etc.

"If money wasn't an option, is there anyone else you'd invite?"

Liam muttered, "Whatever, it's fine."

I gave him The Eye, the one that I'd only recently discovered that I inherited from my mother, the one that acted like a truth serum each and every time, no matter how old we were when she did it.

Liam said in an uncharacteristically squeaky voice, "There really isn't anyone else."

I looked at him with pity in my eyes, which Liam picked up on right away. "I don't need your pity. I'm fine on my own."

I tried to relax my eyes a little. "Do you really not have any friends?" It didn't surprise me much, considering how awkward and lonely he was as a kid. But I thought that by now he'd have a couple friends.

He shrugged. "I'm friendly with some of the guys from the swim team. I sit with them at lunch and stuff, but we don't hang out—or even text—out of school."

Liam saw my saddened face, and he rushed to say, "I'm not a total loner. I have some people I'm friends with online from games and stuff. And before you say it, they are real friends. Just not ones that I've ever met in public or would ever expect to meet."

I nodded. "Would you though? Want to meet them? If you had the opportunity?"

He shrugged again. "Maybe. I don't know."

He seemed reluctant to talk about it, so I backed off. We sat there in silence for a couple more minutes, my chewing the only audible sound.

"I have to go study now," Liam said, almost to himself, after a couple minutes of sitting and doing nothing.

I was chewing my last (large) bite of grilled cheese, so I waved. He got up, put his dishes in the sink to soak, and left the room.

As soon as he left, I sunk down in my chair, utterly spent. Who knew such a random, weird conversation with my brother would leave me so exhausted?

* * * *

The next few days began to take on somewhat of a routine. I mostly looked after my mother and chilled. I unpacked everything I'd amassed over two years, and then cleaned out my old stuff when I realized there was no place for everything in my room.

Liam was a fleeting presence, he was either in school or in his room studying. Aside for random spottings during the day, I mostly only saw him during suppertime, where we kept chatting to a minimum.

And I made sure to wait until he was done with the shower before brushing my teeth at night. I can't say I would have liked a few more glances of his incredible body, but I was trying to respect his privacy.

It was difficult though. And I found myself thinking about him every night as I drifted off to sleep. And some mornings too, when my hand found its way into my panties.

Liam's last final was on Friday, and my mom asked me to pick him up from school when he was done, so we could go food shopping together. My father is totally useless in a grocery store, so my mom used to do all the shopping, but it's been difficult for her ever since she started treatment.

I think most weeks my dad and brother went to the store together, and between them they were able to figure it out for the most part, but there were definitely things missing in the kitchen. I think in general that unless guys are the primary cooks in the house, they don't think about replenishing ingredients unless they're specifically told to. And they don't think in terms of meals and recipes unless they have a list. So my mom asked me to go with my brother this time.

Liam told me an approximate time to pick him up, and as I rolled into the school parking lot, tons of memories flooded my mind. I can't say I loved high school, but I had a great group of friends and I was a good student, so it was okay. Most of the memories that came to me were positive, so I guess that's a good sign.

I was deep in reverie when a knock startled me. Liam was standing at the passenger door, waiting to be let in. I had to lean over to unlock the door because my mom's car is as old as the sun and the power lock doesn't work anymore.

"Don't even say you're sorry Em, it's fine," Liam said, as he pushed the passenger seat all the way back, then folded his long body into the still-too-small space.

I blushed, but didn't say anything. After I asked him how his last final went (he said it was "fine," not that I expected any other answer), we sat in silence as I navigated the parking lot and the streets surrounding the school.

We actually didn't speak any more until we reached the supermarket parking lot.

"So, how do you want to do this?" Liam asked as I pulled into a spot and shut the ignition.

"Play it by ear? I don't know yet what system will work."

"Okay by me," Liam said as he shrugged, his huge, broad shoulders rising and falling. I noticed that he did that a lot and wondered why. Maybe he was still not used to how broad he was. It had only been a couple years since he joined the swim team and his physique changed.

The shopping trip went surprisingly smoothly. Liam was a great "fetcher," especially when things were too high for me to reach. And I pretended not to look when he bent down to get things from the lower shelves, but truthfully, I couldn't get enough sneak peeks at his ass. His perfectly round, toned ass.

We were done shopping in record time, and we loaded the car and drove home in companionable silence, proud of our accomplishment.

Liam brought most of the groceries into the house in one trip, the muscles in his shoulders, arms, and back tensing as he carried the heavy bags. We unpacked the groceries together, Liam reprising his role of reaching for high and low shelves. When we were finished, we both collapsed into chairs at the kitchen table.

"So, all done, huh?" I said, after a while. "You looking forward to graduation?"

"Not really. I don't like when the spotlight's on me."

"Huh. But what about at swim meets? The spotlight is definitely on you when you win a medal."

Liam thought about that for a moment. "I think I'm still so pumped with swimmer's high that I tolerate it then. Otherwise, I'd rather be invisible."

It was those words that made me realize that my brother definitely didn't realize how hot he was—what a catch he was. I didn't know why his classmates didn't either think he was. Maybe they just remembered the short, fat Liam, or maybe Liam put up an invisible fence in school that kept all the kids out.

It's wasn't fair really. He was really a great kid. He should have had a girlfriend, a group of friends. Not be as lonely as he was.

"Em? Where'd you go?"

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "Nowhere. I'm here. So tell me, what are you wearing to graduation, under your not-a-dress-dress?" I smirked, and Liam stuck his tongue out at me, which made my smirk only intensify.