From Heaven... Ch. 05

"Oops, sorry," I said. "I'm having a little trouble with these hooks."

I heard amusement and sympathy mix in her voice as she replied. "If you can't quite manage to reach, fasten them at the front then slide it round – lots of people do that."

"Ah, got it," I said, a hint of triumph in my voice.

A few minutes later, I hesitantly drew back the curtain and stepped out. "What do you think?"

Sally looked at me, and I could see the different emotions playing across her face.

"It's strange," she said. "You look lovely – the dress really suits you – but I can see how it takes something away from..."

She hesitated. "Am I allowed to say, from your glory?"

I nodded. "But you have your own kind of glory."

She was silent for a moment, reflecting. Then she smiled. "Anyway, try one of the others."

I went back into the cubicle, emerging again a few moments later. This time the dress I had on was very different – close-fitting at the top, with embroidered highlights, but dropping to a long, flowing skirt, almost a train, with a split from the knee. The colour was deep blue, almost violet, and I concentrated for a second, matching my eyes to the hue.

Sally's mouth dropped open. "Wow," she said. "That really suits you."

She reached for her bag. "I think we've found Tim's surprise. Come on, let's put the others back then go and pay."

I walked with her to the desk, still trying to get used to the feel of the fabrics against my skin. Sally paid for the items we'd selected, and put her arm through mine as we left the shop and made our way back to where we'd left Tim.

"Stay here a moment," she said, pausing just out of sight of the coffee shop. "Count to twenty, then walk in."

I followed her instructions, and walked through the door to see Sally seated by Tim at the table, her eyes on his face.

When he caught sight of me, his eyes widened, and he got to his feet.

"Ria..." he breathed.

I glanced aside at Sally, seeing her broad grin.

"What do you think of it?"

Tim swallowed. "You look amazing."

He pulled out a chair for me and held it as I sat, then took his own place again.

"Would you two like a drink?" he asked.

I nodded. "But I looked at the board, I have no idea what any of those coffees and flavours are like. Surprise me?"

"I know," said Sally. "I bet you'll like my favourite."

She leaned over and whispered in Tim's ear, and he nodded. He went to the counter, and returned with three coffees. His was unsurprisingly strong and dark, the steam rising from it almost bitter-smelling.

He put tall cups in front of me and Sally, and I lifted mine to taste it. "Oh wow."

My drink was rich, sweet, the taste of the coffee tantalizingly almost hidden by a flavour which reminded me of the ice cream we'd eaten the previous day. As I sipped I caught an elusive overtone, almost of something burnt, but not bitter.

Sally smiled. "See, Dad, I told you Ria would like caramel macchiato." Tim pretended to screw up his face. "All that sugar."

I drank slowly, letting each sip surprise me again, but finally my cup was empty.

"You can bring me back here anytime," I said to Tim, smiling.

He nodded. "So do you two have more shopping you need to get?"

Sally shook her head. "Actually, Dad, I should get going – someone with a cruel streak scheduled one of my lectures for eight thirty on Mondays."

She grinned at me. "But you and Ria could look at the shops. I think there's something she needs."

She used her index fingers to pantomime something at her neck, and I looked at Tim mystified.

"Ah," he said, "of course."

Sally stood. "I'll get a cab back to the house, pick up my stuff. You two take your time."

I got to my feet. "Sally, I don't know how to thank you. This weekend has been amazing."

She looked embarrassed, and reached out to hug me. "I'll visit again soon."

We watched as she made her way out of the coffee shop, turning to wave once more before turning a corner out of sight.

"Right," said Tim decisively. "I know exactly where to go for what Sally suggested."

We left the coffee shop, and Tim turned into an area of shops off the main thoroughfare.

"Here," he said, pushing open the door and letting me go first.

I looked round fascinated. On every side were glass cases, the velvet trays they held covered with shining gold, silver, precious stones.

An assistant approached us. "How can I help you?"

Tim smiled. "We're looking for something to go with a new dress. I was thinking sapphires, perhaps a choker?"

The assistant nodded, and walked to a cabinet in the corner, sliding out a drawer. I gasped at the blaze of blue, and Tim smiled.

"Would you like to try this one?" suggested the assistant, bringing over a flat necklace studded with blue stones.

Tim took it from him, and stood behind me, fastening the catch carefully. The necklace felt cold against my skin at first, then warmed, and I looked in the nearby mirror.

"I hardly recognise myself," I said to Tim quietly.

He nodded. "Do you like it?"

"It's lovely," I said.

"That's settled, then." He nodded to the assistant. "We'll take it." Tim walked aside to discreetly swipe his credit card, and the assistant gave him a small bag with a velvet-covered box. "I assume the lady wishes to wear the piece now."

We left the shop, and I noticed that one or two people we passed didn't quite manage to conceal the looks they gave in our direction.

"Can we go home?" I asked. "I feel a little conspicuous."

"Of course," said Tim. He grinned. "But I'm glad we came."

When we arrived back at the house, Sally's car was gone, but she'd left a note on the kitchen table:

"Thanks for a lovely weekend, see you soon. P.S. I left something for Ria upstairs."

Tim raised his eyebrows, and while he tidied the kitchen I went upstairs to Sally's room. On the bed was a long t-shirt, folded into a neat pile, with a note on top:

"In case you don't feel like changing all the way back just yet. Love, S."

I went back down the stairs, and Tim smiled. "Am I allowed to know what Sally left you?"

"Later," I promised.

He nodded. "After that lunch I don't think I'll need anything else to eat. Anything particular you want to do?"

"Let's go for a walk in the garden," I said.

Tim opened the doors in the living room that led out to the back of the house, and we walked down the steps to the lawn.

"I love this time of day," I said. "It reminds me of back at the beginning, when everything was fresh and new, and I stood looking at the stars."

Tim glanced across at me. "It still feels strange to hear you talk about things that happened so long ago."

We walked on in silence for a while, then Tim sighed. "I suppose it's time we called it a day. Work again tomorrow."

We made our way back to the house, and Tim closed the doors behind us. "See you upstairs?"

I nodded, watching him go. After a few moments, I went up to Sally's room and carefully removed the dark blue dress. Sally's advice about the difficult-to-reach hooks proved useful, then I pulled the t-shirt over my head, again feeling the strangeness of the fabric against my skin.

I walked across the hall, and Tim smiled at me as I knelt on the bed. He took my hand. "I'm glad you're here again."

He settled his head on the pillow and closed his eyes. "G'night, Ria."

I sensed his breathing slow, and I settled down to keep my usual watch.

The stars wheeled slowly in their courses, and the moon rose, casting its reflected light into the room. Then, as though it had always been there, I gradually became aware of a presence, and a voice spoke, impossible to mistake for any other in the universe.

'Ariel.'

"Yes?"

'You've done well. I'm very pleased.'

I thought back to the last time I'd heard those words spoken, and waited.

'You look... very human, just now.'

I nodded. "I quite like it."

The voice was silent for a while, then spoke again.

'You know that being human can mean pain, loss, suffering.'

"Yes – Tim and Sally have taught me that."

I hesitated. "I still don't really understand why I was sent, though I know Tim appreciates me being here."

This time I sensed a smile in the voice.

'I think Sally has already guessed, but it's hard for you. Easier for me...'

Again my thoughts went back to that time so long ago. I remembered the travelling, those young women who came along, knowing they saw something special in the one who'd called them all together. The one – Mary – who, more than any of the others, loved him. That time in the garden, when he had to tell her she couldn't hold on to him, that she had to find another way.

"I think I begin to see."

'Yes.'

Again the voice paused, and I wondered if I was expected to say something, then:

'There would be no going back.'

"I know. Just one thing I'd ask."

'Tell me.'

"I know we both have..." I stopped, then made myself say the words, "we'll have to die eventually, but... I don't want either of us to be left behind without the other."

There was a pause, then:

'Ariel, I promise.'

I nodded. "Then this is what I choose."

'Very well.'

I felt the presence withdraw, and I wanted to say: Wait, what do I do?

Then somehow I knew. I lifted the covers, and lay down beside Tim, then pulled the covers back over us. His eyes opened, and his drowsy face showed surprise, a question. I put my finger to his lips, smiling, and he closed his eyes again and slept.

I waited, and for the first time in my existence felt myself starting to slip out of consciousness. My last thought was, So this must be what death feels like too...