Fucking a Friend Pt. 11

Turns out they had known each other for years, working at the same place during several changes in management and format. They got assigned to the same project and hit it off and while she was in a relationship at the time, they became friends at work. I remembered him telling me about a Sinead, but never thought this was her.

Anyway, her relationship ended and James being awkward as hell, helped her cope with the break up at work and casually asked her out for coffee two weeks after the break up. She kissed him good bye that night. Every day, it was a steady increase in closeness until he heard her tell a coworker that she was seeing someone and it was serious. He didn't want to tell me only to have it fall apart.

Within 30 minutes of conversation, the four of us were getting along like we were old friends. Sinead wanted to know what the deal was with us, because we were unusually close. I wasn't too keen on how she eyed either of us. James broke it all down and after that she seemed satisfied with the answer. It didn't keep her from stealing a glance at us whenever Jillian and I regarded one another.

She knew. Somehow, she knew.

The four of us chatted up geek culture, for the rest of dinner, The Walking Dead and the upcoming season became the focus of the talk. Afterwards, we piled into my car, since it could comfortably seat four and progressed to the next stop in the evening. I pulled up to one of the many Halloween Warehouses that seem to pop up towards the end of September.

We played around in there for a good while before feeling we overstayed our welcome as the young child behind the counter wasn't alive when most of our references and jokes first made their way into pop culture. On the way back to the restaurant to get Sinead's car, we hit up Dunkin Donuts and let James get his 2 donuts. I was preparing to drop him off at his house, when Sinead offered to take him home.

Parking beside her car, I shook her hand and told her it was a pleasure to meet her. I signed Live Long and Prosper to James, it was our thing. Don't judge.

Jillian hugged James and then Sinead and Jillian hugged. As the newly minted couple got into the car, I looked over at Jillian and had my words stolen.

"She was hot," she shook her head as the camaro turned on and then roared off, "but it was unsettling in the restaurant. That bitch knew."

I looked at my best friend, my former lover, with surprise in my eyes, "Yeah, she did."

We stood there in the empty restaurant parking lot and there was a unsettling awkwardness between us. The first in a long time.

"Well," I kicked a stone, "I guess I can drive back to let you get your car."

She regarded my statement and shook her head. "I look like this and you just want to take me to pick up my car." she playfully punched me in the arm, "Fuck. You."

I feigned pain and asked her what she had in mind.

She laughed, "Well, my night is wide open, darling."

I regarded her and the potential of what we could do, but my mind came back to topics more suited to a PG rating. "Care to drive out to the beach?"

Jillian nodded her excited approval and off we went. She plugged in and put on her Pandora, then rocked out as I stayed silent. Nothing was really said, which was odd and I wondered if there was major trouble in paradise.

Crossing over the bridge on onto the island, I parked down at the pier, where I paid for our entry and we walked out into the breeze of the coast and the dusk of the day. We initially walked separately but we played around with the idea of holding hands, then pulling them away and for a moment I felt her arm slide into mine before sliding away.

This new, new dynamic to our friendship wasn't coming easy to both of us, I chuckled. She did the same, apparently feeling the same thing I did.

We walked to the edge of the pier and sat down. There was some tension between us and I wasn't entirely sure it was sexual. Something had changed during the two months that we hadn't been hanging out. It certainly wasn't natural. Neither of us spoke on it.

We made small talk as an hour slipped away, the elephant on the pier had now become a humpback whale. "Maybe," she sadly began, "you should take me back to get my car." she finally broke the last period of silence. I could tell something was on her mind. Whatever it was, we weren't talking about it. I had been figuring it would come out on its own. I was being proven wrong.

I said ok, reluctantly, and we began walking back down to the entry way of the pier. I certainly wasn't ok with whatever this way between us. She was my best friend, after all, and regardless of a summer's worth of hot sex, I didn't like where our friendship had gone.

As we got to my car I got a wild hair up my ass. "How about a walk on the beach?" I asked, "There is clearly something going on and we need to get it out in the open."

"John," she shook her head, "I really don't think its a good idea."

I popped the trunk and I took off my Docs and pulled her to me, initially she tried to pull away, her face wore that what the fuck look on her face, but eventually Jillian gave in as I lifted one of her legs to take off her boot before doing the same to the other leg. I pulled out one of the blankets I kept in the trunk and grabbed her hand then said "Come on" as I led the way to the dune.

"Not exactly convenient, John." I could sense her pissiness from where I stood. Hell Ray Charles could have seen it and he was both blind and dead.

Still, she followed my lead and within 50 yards the lights of the pier had became little more than a background painting. Another 100 yards or so and I stopped, dropped my taking both of her hands in mine, "Ok, buddy, what is going on?"

No answer.

I decided to break up the tone by telling her something I had been wanting to say to her all night.

"I wasn't kidding, Jelly, you look incredible." I smiled and dipped to look at her because she refused to look up at me, "You have no idea how much I wanted to fuck you all night." I paused then continued, "Randy has been good for you. I never thought you could ever look like this. I'm jealous of him."

I fucked up. I didn't know. Not that she gave me the ability to figure it out.

"Don't be," she pulled away from me and wrapped her arms together and walked forward.

"Fuck," I said, "What did I do?"

Silence.

"Jelly, don't shut me out." I pleaded. I reached out for her arm and she pulled away.

"What the hell?" I asked, not sure what I had done to make her mad.

We had reached the end of the island before she finally stopped. She looked off towards the crashing waves and seemed disappointed that there wasn't more land in front of her.

She turned around and saw I was a few feet behind her. I looked at her and could see her crying. Not little tears. I mean full blown explosion. This wasn't a panic attack or PTSD. This was genuine sorrow. I came up to her and wrapped my arms around her. I never expected a night that was supposed to see us hanging out to go in this direction. "What is it?" I asked, kissing the top of her head, "Tell me."

She wouldn't tell me for several beats of my increasingly tensed heart and my heart began to sink.

"I fucking hate you" she whispered against my shoulder, "I hate you so God damn much," her voice was full of concentrated anger and hatred. I half expected to look down at her and see her eyes burning with the rage of a Sith Lord.

I totally wasn't expecting that. And I wasn't sure what I should do next. Or what I needed to do.

"I also love you," she shook her head finally, "I love you as my best friend. I want to give myself to Randy emotionally but I couldn't. I can't."

She explained, through tears and broken sentences, that they haven't had the easiest of times since the slip of my name during sex. He had noticed that it was "John" this or "John" that and soon realized that she had feelings for me. Jillian tried to tell him that it wasn't exactly that way but I was her best friend and I had been the only one who had been constant, outside of her family, since Chris shot himself. He also didn't want to play second fiddle to anyone and didn't want to deal with her damage. She continued to cry.

Jillian had tried to keep it together during our Sunday dinner and afterwards, hoping that it would right itself. After all, their weekend together had gone very well. She couldn't have hoped for more. Time marched on and there became a point where he was purposely avoiding her. Not returning phone calls. He did, however, invite himself over to have sex. He never stayed.

The mention of Chris or even my name would make him mad. Eventually, it got to a point that she was crying every night. Alone. Not wanting to reach out to me, realizing that she had no right to burden me with her problems.

She put on a brave face for me and I told her that she didn't need to. I was there to help her. I figured something was going on, because there was sadness in her face during lunch when it was just the two of us. I never pushed her, trusting that she would have told me when she was ready.

When she had proposed hanging out with me to him, he flipped his shit and told her to go ahead and have fun with me because they were over. Turns out that Randy never agreed to watch Alyssa. Her brother, Steve, did.

I tried to soak it all in. I told her that it seemed like he wasn't aware of what she had been through and that it was too much. Then feeling like he had to compete for affections when he didn't need to made the situation worse. I told her I was so sorry and I would drop out of her life for a while. That statement caught her attention and she looked at me with anger and worry. I told her that I wouldn't be gone forever, just to give her time to work things out with Randy.

She then admitted that it finally struck her that if Randy couldn't accept her with all of her faults and damage, then even with as much as she liked him, she can't be with him. Jillian had finally admitted that she had to be with someone who accepted her for who she was and was going to treat her with respect and unconditionally.

"That's a pretty big step, Jelly." I admitted, hugging her a little tighter.

"Thanks." she was still crying uncontrollably, "Just hold me."

I did. The uncomfortable silence that had existed between us had become a little more comfortable. Thank God. We stood together for several long heartbeats and enough time for my breathing to become normal again. She then broke the silence.

"God you smell delicious." she mumbled, inching up in her tip toes to smell my neck, it had been a long time since I had held her for any length of time. What I had meant as a hopeful tease to her was now focusing her with lust filled intent.

"Jelly, stop," I pleaded, unable to come up with a reason why.

"I need to be honest with you," she pulled away from me and took my hands in hers, forcing me to drop the blanket on the sand, "When I fucked Randy, I thought of you. I wanted to be with you. I both desired and hated you at the same time." She looked at me with those brown eyes and I saw so much tenderness and vulnerability there, "I didn't dress like this for him," she confessed, "I did it for you. I wanted tonight to be completely different. I hoped that we could hang out, recapture that lost magic and if all went well, I wanted you to make love to me all night long."

"Make love," I questioned, the magnitude of what she had just said not lost on me.

"You heard me," she nodded, separating one of her hands from mine to raise it against my lips and touching me slightly, pressing against me, before lowering it between us again, "I didn't stutter."

"You got dolled up for me?" I stood, flabbergasted, not totally comprehending the enormity of what she was saying. Yes, I am a bit dense.

I blinked.

"I can see so much more clearly now," she sniffled, not exactly the most romantic of ways, "despite being a box of fucked up bats" she slid her head to the side and squeezed my hands, "this started innocently, John. Just as friends. Whether it was there at the start, it eventually shifted. The playful flirting, while meant to be coy and hide emotions was more true than I care to admit."

I saw her tear-stained cheeks and eyes burn into me as he head rose to regard me, "That Sunday, I knew what I was doing. When you told me you dreamt about fucking me, I wanted it too. It wasn't love. Trust me, it was about sex. When you came over and we fucked." she continued, intensity now washed over her eyes, "It was exactly what I wanted and I can't deny that anymore. It grew in the coming months and when we finally plunged neck deep into this shit, it became all I wanted."

Electricity now pulsed around us. All I wanted to do was fuck her right then and there but yet I didn't. I was mesmerized by her and her admissions, "What you forced me to feel, John," she swallowed her nerves down, "I can never thank you enough for. What I feel when I am around you is a type of feverish lust that I haven't ever experienced. When I am around you, I find myself being whole again, or at the very least, as whole as I can be." she swallowed again but this time blinked and smiled, "For two months I have been fighting this in my mind. Every end result is going to end bad. You like to do the math but do it, I know you already have, and it will never end well."

There was a steady silence for a while while a breeze interrupted us. We both closed our eyes and let it pass over us and caress us. In the end, I believe it helped push us back to one another.

"I have tasted you," she began to cry again and in doing so saw the strength in her voice disappear, "and having done this one act, want to see this through until its bitter end. I mean this with every damned fiber of my being."

She took a step into me, my shirt became bunched in her hands and she pulled me down for a long, lingering kiss. It had been over two months since I tasted her and we both groaned in pleasure as the kiss became a shared affair and more intimate. My skin glided over hers, I relished in reconnecting with this woman.

I kissed her neck and nibbled her ear lobe and heard her moan and say my name. I pulled back to look at her and again, I told her how beautiful she was and how much she meant to me.

"You make me feel beautiful, John," she admitted as she pulled me back down and kissed me again, this time with more intent than before. I smiled against her lips and let her take control of the kiss while my hands decided to be more proactive.

My fingers moved to her hips and then to the zipper at her side to undo her skirt. I slide it down her hips and let it slide to the sand. I reached for her leggings and realized that they were black stockings. Thigh highs. I moaned in delight.

She pulled away from me to lift up her sweater and then I hungrily undid the buttons to her blouse before letting it slide off her arms. Jillian moved towards me, continuing the passionate kiss we were sharing. I responded to the effect her lips had on me by cupping a breast in my hand, feeling her nipple tighten through her bra. Her hands, likewise, were busy as well taking off my shirt, slowly unbuttoning me one at a time and as the last button came undone, she began to unbuckle my belt as I shrugged my shirt down my shoulders and arms.

I splayed my hands on her back to undo her bra and watched with great pleasure as it slid off her arms and to the sand. I moved back to marvel at her beautiful body. It was at that moment that I noticed she was not wearing panties. She watched me then smiled as she saw my response as I stepped back into her and toyed with her nipple.

She then knelt to slide my jeans down my legs. As she did so, she caressed the bulge in my boxers with her hands and it throbbed towards her. She pulled my boxers down before licking the head of my cock ever so gently and with delicate precision over the small slit at the center of it, all the while smiling at the response she got. She stroked me and sucked the entire head of my cock, swirling her tongue over it. hen she pulled all of it into her, as deeply as she could. I moaned, lost for words and completely wanting her to never stop.

She continued massaging it, playing with my balls. She relished licking and sucking as I got uncontrollably and undeniably harder. My moans and grunts approving of her performance. Unable to take anymore of her teasing, I told her to reach into my pants and get a condom from my wallet.

I sucked in a deep, painful breath as I felt the heat of her hands on my cock. They burned me with sinful intent. I massaged a naked breast and rubbed my chin and lips over a swollen nipple. When she finished placing the condom on me, Jillian cupped my balls and I growled my next move.

I layed her down on the scattered blanket and our clothes, kissing her on the lips and on the neck. I nibbled on her ear lobes and gently inhaled her scent, both musky with a hint of vanilla and I reveled in the salt from her sweat. I took a nipple and sucked on it as our bodies adjusted to the new plane of existence we had taken.

I moved from breast to breast, giving them the attention and adoration they so richly deserved and she cooed and moaned her approval, arching her back whenever she wanted me to be rougher or take her more fully. She raspingly sighed through labored breaths, "God damn, I need you." When my fingers slipped into her, she grunted and closed her eyes. The moonlight above shone down on us and allowed me to see the exquisiteness of her body, of her want. Of her suffocating need.

I cupped her clit with the palm of my hand and pulled up into it with slow and deliberate force. Again and again I moved it against her and as her groans of pleasure became more dire, those talented hips grinded harder and harder, I swear I could almost feel the waves of desire pulsate through her and into me.

I sat up, pulling her with me, while she raised a leg to straddle me. My cock teased her and pulsated every time it touched her skin. I slid into her slowly while she angled her hips. I toyed with her nipple as our arms wrapped around each other for support. I drew up my knees and stroked very barely past her entrance, before hunger too over and I buried deeply into her. She took control, her hips moving and bucking against the intruder inside of her. Over and over again, Jillian groaned and moaned with increasing intensity until I saw the fire in her eyes burn with such desperation that I found myself lost in the intensity. Our torsos slowly merged with each intense bucking of her hips until we were feasting on each other's lips, realizing that we needed this like we needed air.

Pulling away from my lips, she pulled close and cried out against the side of my face, moaning my name, cursing, and trying to survive as sharp and long waves of pleasure burst free from deep within her. "God damn it," she uttered, biting my ear then my neck, before clamping onto my shoulder as it poured out of her. My cock tightened as she screamed and gave herself over to the delight she was feeling. I began to push into her, my hips trapped by the sand underneath and her pelvis. She shivered violently this time and I saw the flames in her eyes just before she closed them. My body tensed in response to her and struggled to retain its own control. I found myself adrift, torn from reality by her reactions and I gave myself over to her, writhing in release as we continued to fuck as long as we could but the truth was that tonight, our lust left us exhausted.

We stayed as we were, our bodies held tight. I was still inside of her and I held her close to my chest. It was long after our breathing had returned to normal that I pulled out of her and touched her cheek with hand, sliding her next to me. We said nothing for the longest time, holding each other's nude bodies on the sand as we stared into the night sky, relishing this reconnection and savoring the moment for as long as we could.