Full Circle Ch. 02

Kevin stirred uneasily.

"Of course I went in for a blood test soon after that. Nothing. Went back a couple of weeks later, just to be sure. Negative."

"Wow," his friend said. "Just-wow."

Lucas said, "I was a little crazy, I'll admit that. I wasn't thinking. I had no idea what would happen if I got the virus-or if I didn't get the virus."

As soon as they got out of the public health clinic after the second visit Will caught him in a tight embrace, heedless of passersby.

"I'm not ever letting you do that again," he said.

Lucas shrugged. "It didn't work."

"And I am fucking glad it didn't." Will's eyes were dark and troubled. "I've been beating myself up for letting you talk me into it. I don't want you sick too. You don't have to prove anything." He looked down at the sidewalk, biting his lip before he spoke again. "I know you love me, Luke. And I... I love you for wanting to. Thanks."

Lucas had kissed Will then, there on the busy street.

"Things got better after that," Lucas told Kevin. They were getting out of the car by the main building of the Steelman campus. "Much better, in fact. Will said I didn't need to prove anything, but I guess I had, in a way most people don't get the chance to.

"We got married a few months later."

"Jon and I did too," Kevin said. "It's still not recognized in Texas, but it was a good thing to do, though I didn't know at the time how good."

Lucas chuckled again. "Like I said, it wasn't a fairy tale. Will cut down on his-business, but he never gave it up altogether. Said he felt bad dropping his most loyal clients."

"And you let him?"

Lucas shrugged. "What was I going to do, Kevin? Lock him in? He'd lost everything, his career, his family. He still had his looks, and men-and women-wanted him. He needed to feel wanted. He needed to be doing something. Say what you like, but I kind of understood."

Kevin said, slowly, "I'm not one to judge, believe me."

They walked among the buildings, some familiar to Lucas, some new.

"I suppose Rainer Hall is gone by now."

"Uh-huh. They tore it down a year after that reunion. Put up a shiny new dorm. It's beautiful, of course, but I miss the old one."

Lucas looked at him and smiled. "Lots of memories there, eh?"

"For sure." Kevin's gaze shifted. He waved at two figures some distance away. "Hello!" he called. He turned back to Lucas. "Have you met Drew and Gene? They're both in History. Gene started teaching at Steelman right after we graduated. He's just retired. Drew came while Jon was Provost."

By now the two men had reached them. Hands were shaken all around and pleasantries exchanged. Gene, Dr. Reynolds, was the elder of the two, wisps of white hair remaining on his head. He reached out and touched Kevin's arm.

"How are you doing? We're so glad to see you. Jon's always on our minds."

"Thanks," Kevin replied. "Lucas lost his husband recently too. They were Steelman classmates."

"So young, how terrible," Drew Ohlen said.

Lucas found himself admiring the man's broad shoulders, full head of silver hair and patrician features. He felt comfortable replying, "People forget that the plague is still with us."

"So it was AIDS?"

"Not exactly. Will was positive, but he actually had a fatal reaction to one of the drugs he was being treated with."

This prompted further exclamations of appalled sympathy, to the point that Lucas began to feel uncomfortable. "We've just met. Sorry to lay this all on you."

"Not at all," Gene said. "Kevin, it's been way too long. Would you and Mr. Boatwright be up for dinner while he's here?"

Kevin began to demur, but Lucas said, "That would be nice. I'll be here for a while. And please call me Luke."

"Sorry," he said to Kevin after they concluded their conversation with Gene and Drew and moved down the walkway. "You should have been the one to answer."

Kevin shrugged. "It's fine. They're great guys."

Lucas confessed, a bit sheepish, "If you must know, I was liking the thought of-was it Drew? Looking at him a bit more."

Resigned laughter. "He has that effect on people," Kevin said. After a moment he added, "I'll say this though-he's not stuck on himself at all, never has been. Which of course makes him all the more irresistible. But he's absolutely loyal to Gene. Never a breath of scandal with those two. Except-" He leered. "I've always wondered about this friend of theirs who comes to visit every so often. Another professor. Sixty if he's a day and a stunningly hunky black guy. The three of them could do some great daddy porn. And maybe do."

Lucas gaped. "You're saying they're a threesome?"

"Please," Kevin said with mock severity, "the correct term is 'polyamory.'" I am a psychologist, you know. I actually have no idea. Just indulging in totally inappropriate-but enjoyable-speculation."

They had reached the imposing chapel in the center of the campus. Kevin's face changed. "I'd like to go this way for a minute."

There was a walled-off area to the right side of the building, with a wrought iron gate set into a stone archway. Kevin opened it and they entered a small garden, planted with various bushes and flowers, some in bloom. A fountain trickled into a man-made pond on one side. Kevin contemplated the sight, his hands clasped behind his back. Finally he turned to Lucas.

"Jon asked to be cremated. He was still competent then. I scattered most of his ashes here. Not that he was religious, but he loved working at Steelman. It seemed right." He chuckled. "One time when we had a fight I told him he was married to me, not the school."

"It's lovely." They stood in silence.

Kevin said, "This is actually the first time I've been here since."

Lucas looked at his friend then, emotion swelling within him. He draped an arm around Kevin's shoulder and found himself clasped in a tight embrace.

"I'm glad you came," his friend said. "Lucas?"

"Yes?"

"What finally happened to Will?"

The end came crashing down with stunning speed. Will had been looking pale and acting listless for a couple of days. It was Friday evening when he came into Lucas' home office.

"Luke. I need help. I've got to go to the hospital."

Lucas looked up and the question died on his lips. Will looked terrible, barely able to remain on his feet. His eyes were wide, his breathing was rapid and shallow, and his coloring-after an instant Lucas realized what it was. Jaundice.

"Oh my god, Will. Lie down on the couch."

He dialed 911 on his cell phone, trying to keep his hand steady and his mind blank.

Please let it not be that.

The ambulance came within ten minutes-for that small favor he was grateful. Lucas had hoped this moment would never come, but without knowing it he had prepared himself for the possibility. He spoke calmly and quickly to the EMTs, explaining who he was, and his suspicions about what was happening. He showed them Will's prescriptions.

The medics listened and nodded before they whisked the prostrate man onto the stretcher.

He held Will's hand in the back of the ambulance, siren wailing above them, looking into his eyes and smiling, pretending a confidence he did not feel.

"Hang in there. We'll get you some help real soon."

Oxygen mask over his face, Will nodded weakly and tried to smile back.

Later Lucas paced the corridor in the hospital, unable to sit, unable to think of anything except Will somewhere nearby, fighting for his life.

"Mr. Boatright. I understand that you are Mr. DuBarry's spouse?" It was the doctor, a startlingly young woman.

"That's right. How... how is he?"

The physician's face was impassive. "I'll be honest with you. It's not looking good. His liver, as you suspected, is in acute failure. This can happen as the result of high doses of certain medications. We're doing our best to turn things around. That's all I can say."

She turned to go, then said over her shoulder. "You can see him now. He's asking for you."

In the emergency wing he tried to steel himself, but Lucas' heart nevertheless lurched when he stepped behind the partition. Will's color was a yellowish gray, and sweat beaded his brow. His hair was limp and tousled. What sent a chill through Lucas, though, was the dull hopelessness in his sunken eyes.

Will saw him. He stirred and smiled, faintly. At once Lucas was at the side of the bed, taking hold of one damp, limp hand.

"How are you doing, buddy?" he asked.

Will shook his head. "Not so hot."

"They'll get you up into a regular room as soon as they can," Lucas said, trying to keep his voice confident. We'll get you through this."

Instead of answering, Will's grip tightened. "Lucas. Listen to me. This might be it. Curtains. The end."

Lucas fought to keep back the tears. "Don't say that. They can do anything here. You'll be back home in no time."

His partner tried to smile. "Maybe. But you've got to listen."

Lucas nodded.

Will's expression was somber. "I want to say thanks for all you did. Not giving up on me. Taking me in. Putting up with my shit."

Lucas tried to smile, pointing to the gold band on his hand whose fingers were interlaced with Will's. "That's what husbands are supposed to do. Better or worse, it says."

Will shook his head. "I didn't deserve someone like you."

"Don't say that."

"I never gave you anything but grief."

Lucas felt the tears slipping from his eyes and down his cheeks. "You gave me everything."

Will's voice grew fainter, as though a signal were fading. "Take care of yourself, Luke. Love... you."

Lucas squeezed Will's hand harder, as if to keep him from slipping away. "No! Will. Please. Don't leave."

Glassy-eyed with terror, he saw the blond head slump to one side, mouth slack. An alarm began to beep loudly on one of the machines connected to Will's body. Lucas ran out of the room. "Help! Someone please help!"

...to be continued