Gabriella Ch. 03

"Can you tell her to turn that down?" Patricia shouted before she entered the bedroom and slammed the door.

Simon paused. In the room to the right, his wife was sick, tired or upset and refusing to talk to him. Meanwhile, the room to the left held Gabriella who no longer wanted to be around him and was no doubt making Nolan a very lucky, very happy boy.

Simon stretched his jaw, trying to relieve the tension. He thought back to a time before either of those rooms were occupied by the two women in his life. He definitely had less stress, but he couldn't imagine a life without them.

He knocked on Gabriella's door before he turned the handle. It was locked. The heady aroma of marijuana filtered through her door. He rested his head against the hard wood, praying for the strength to keep his cool in front of Nolan. He knocked harder.

"Gabriella, turn it down! Your mom's not feeling well!" He jiggled the door handle again before it flew open.

Nolan stood there, a slight red tint to his frantic eyes as he tucked his shirt into his jeans.

"Sorry Professor Graham. We didn't realize it was that loud."

Simon ignored him. Gabriella lay propped against the head board, her manner nonchalant as she popped a piece of gum into her mouth and smiled at him.

"Hey," she said.

Simon couldn't stop the automatic clamp of his jaw even though his teeth felt like they were going to crack. He couldn't deal with this right now. He had Patricia to focus on.

"Uh, I should probably go. I'll talk to you later Ella," Nolan said as he tried to squeeze past Simon.

"Nolan..." Simon said, his eyes still on Gabriella.

"Yes."

"Might want to zip your pants."

Nolan blushed as his eyes darted down and back up. "Thanks," he whispered as he jetted down the hallway.

With the music off, the house became too quiet. Simon remained in the doorframe, unable to unlock his eyes from her. She stared back with the same intensity. They'd played this game before and he always won. She had never been able to face the disappointment, disgust and lust that had to be showing in his eyes. And sure enough, Gabriella's gaze dropped to the floor and lost their wordless feud.

Simon ran his fingers over the small crack in the door frame. The old house was beginning to show lots of cracks. He was just slow in noticing how many, how they remained hidden then presented themselves at the oddest times. Just like my life.

He turned and walked out.

**********

Patricia

"Patricia, did you hear me?" The spicy cologne Sam Banesfield doused himself in everyday made his presence impossible to ignore.

"Yeah, I heard you. I'm looking over the charts now."

It had taken every drop of strength she'd possessed to roll out of bed and face another ten hour day doing this chubby sadist's job. Arriving an hour late for work didn't help matters.

The morning sun was brightening the bedroom when Simon had tapped her shoulder, but Patricia didn't budge. She kept her eyes shut tight in the hope that yesterday was only a bad dream. Instead she woke up to find her life was still a mess. Maybe her mother was right. It's not even worth the time to get up in the morning...

She clicked off the webpage she had been viewing and pulled up the spreadsheet. "I'll get them to you in fifteen minutes."

Patricia didn't bother looking up at Sam, not when she felt his disappointed glare. He stomped back into his office and slammed the door, leaving her the same way he'd found her—trapped in the state between of stunned and puzzled.

She buried the hurt deep inside herself and clung to the numbness that alleviated the full blunt of any emotion. Without any hard proof that Simon had been cheating, all her worries amounted to pure speculation.

Maybe the condoms belonged to a student.

Maybe someone had played a prank on him.

But the more outlandish her explanations became, the more she feared the truth. If she confronted him and he admitted to it, she wasn't sure she could bear it.

Patricia leaned her head against her desk wondering how she had arrived at this moment. A job she loathed, a deadbeat dad for an ex, a reckless daughter who hated her and believed that self-worth was tied to a boy's approval, and now an unfaithful husband. Was she destined to be a magnate for failure?

She clicked back on the article she'd been reading, one that cited reasons why husbands strayed: the yearning for sexual variety, unhappiness in the marriage and boredom. New insecurities bloomed as she read on.

Patricia closed the page and dropped her head in her hands.

This time she couldn't function on autopilot to get by. Yes it came in handy when her parents' marriage had turned into an all out war. And when a rumor about Ella and her math teacher floated through their town. Or when Ella had been suspended for fighting. Or just Ella in general. Or when Simon and Ella fought. But now that her marriage to Simon was filled with lies...

She wanted to shut down every emotion, every suspicion and push them aside. Scarlett O'Hara's idea of thinking about it tomorrow wasn't half bad. The phone rang just then. She stared at it, knowing who would be on the other end.

"Hey, honey," Simon said when she picked up. He sounded tired.

"Hey."

"Are you busy?"

"Yeah, I have to look over these graphs before Sam fires me."

Several seconds passed before he said, "Okay. Just wanted to see if I should pick up dinner?"

Dinner? Patricia realized just then that she hadn't eaten since yesterday.

"Oh, sure, if you and Ella want something. I—I'll be working late tonight, so I'll just grab something before I get home." She waited and waited for his response.

"Are you going to talk to me?" he asked finally.

"Simon, I have to go—Sam's coming. We'll talk later, I promise. Love you, bye." She hung up the phone before he replied.

"Hey."

Patricia jumped in her seat.

"Whoa, switch to decaf," Myra said, sitting on the edge of her desk.

"Sorry."

"Come on, it's six-thirty, let's leave and make the tail end of happy hour before you dive back in."

"I can't. I have to go. Simon's bringing home dinner."

Myra turned on the desk lamp. "I thought you just told him you were staying late?"

"I did." Patricia couldn't read Myra's expression and she didn't have the energy to try.

**********

Gabriella

True to their promise, she and Simon hadn't touched each other in over a month. Ella regretted that she had agreed to it. Most days she didn't even warrant his eye contact. Sometimes his smooth cologne lingered in the house, driving her crazy, further reminding her body of his absence. At night her hands wandered over her skin and she'd fantasize about his touch, until she gasped in pleasure. But sadness was always there waiting to settle in.

Her mother lived in zombie land ever since her trip to Atlanta. She and Simon rarely shared meals and when they did, her mother would push her food around the plate after a few bites. One night Ella had been in the kitchen while her mom watched a TV show. The instant Simon sat down beside her, she stiffened. Seconds later she left the couch saying she felt exhausted.

Ella's heart broke for Simon as he watched her mother retreat. Didn't he realize that she would have gladly taken her mom's place beside him? But Ella was tired of fighting a losing battle.

"This kid's gonna win the Heisman," Nolan muttered while they watched a college football game.

Ella could care less, but she had nothing better to do. Her mind drifted back to Simon who was spending more time with his friends. Her mom had taken to working late, or at least that's the excuse she gave Simon. Most days Ella came home to an empty house and a loneliness she should've been immune to.

Nolan squeezed her calf which was draped over his lap. "Look at that. Beautiful!"

Ella watched a replay of an interception, wishing Nolan would go home. According to the clock on the Tivo box Simon's last class finished half an hour ago. Was he heading straight to Steven's yet again?

She heard keys in the lock. Nolan's hand slid from her leg as the door creaked. He glanced at both of them with a grim expression then dropped his briefcase behind the sofa before he disappeared down the hallway.

He probably thought that she and Nolan were sleeping together. But they weren't. In the past, Ella had hooked up with Nolan a few times, but she hadn't gone all the way with him since their official movie date on her mom's birthday. Most boys would have given up by now, especially given her reputation. But Nolan acted like he just enjoyed her company despite his failed attempts here and there to get into her panties.

Simon no longer said anything about him visiting so often. She hated to accept it as another sign of him letting go.

"I'll be right back," she told Nolan.

He caught her leg. "Hey, I should probably take off. I don't want him to start failing me or anything," he joked.

"He wouldn't do that."

"I know, it was a joke." Nolan leaned over and kissed her before he grabbed his backpack. "See you later."

"Bye."

Ella clicked off the TV and sat, listening for the roar of Simon's motorcycle. All she heard was the sprinkler near the front lawn turning on. He'd be leaving any moment because he couldn't stand to be alone with her.

She made her way to the back of the house and checked the master bedroom, but he wasn't there. She walked into the kitchen and peeked through the window in the door leading to the garage. Simon stood over his motorcycle, checking it out.

"Hey," she said when she opened the door.

"Hey." He kept his attention on the bike.

"Is everything okay?"

He nodded as he kneeled down to inspect the front tire.

Ella leaned her back against the door frame. Was she bothering him again? She hated feeling this way. She should have gone to her room but despite everything that had happened, she treasured having any time with Simon.

"Are you?"

He was still squatting and examining the tire, but she had heard his question loud and clear.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

He walked over to his work bench. "So, you've been seeing a lot of Nolan lately. How's that going?"

Ella shrugged. "Alright, I guess. He's nice."

"Nice huh?" He looked at her. "Is that enough to sustain a relationship?"

"You would know," she snapped back. She hated herself for saying it the instant Simon turned his back to her. Ella bit her bottom lip so hard she tasted blood.

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not." The tools he tossed onto the table landed with a loud thump.

Ella stepped into the garage. "No, really I am. I shouldn't have said that. I'm trying to be good."

She drew a halo over her head as he glanced over his shoulder. Simon shook his head.

"You heading over to Steven's?"

"No."

"So, where are you going?"

"I don't know yet," he said, dropping more items into the toolbox.

Ella ran her hand over the leather motorcycle seat. She wished things could go back to the way things were last spring when Simon barely made it to school before dragging her into his office. Back when he wanted her all the time. Back when she believed they could have something more than secrets and lies.

"I miss riding with you," she whispered. There was a slight pause before the next tool clanked onto the table.

She sighed when Simon continued to ignore her. She walked over to the small window in the garage door. Stars lit up the dark sky. She pressed the button to open the door, letting in the cool fall air. This time of year was her favorite. Even though her legs were bare from the skirt she wore, the cold sensation felt good. The scent of burning wood filled the air all around their quiet neighborhood. Everything was quiet. Too quiet.

Ella turned to find him gone. She straddled the Yamaha and closed her eyes to remember how Simon looked when he rode. He had a sexy way of leaning into the wind as if trying to defy the laws of speed.

Ella wiggled until the bike fell from the kickstand. She struggled to balance it, but hadn't anticipated the weight.

"Oh, shit!" She braced herself to fall sideways, praying the bike didn't crush her leg.

But she didn't fall. Something steadied her. Her feet barely touched the ground. Simon was holding the back of the bike. She quickly hopped off. "Sorry."

He said nothing as he pulled his helmet down, the face shield blocking his eyes. He buttoned his riding jacket and turned on the ignition, revving the engine.

Ella ran her hands down her arms trying to warm them as he rolled the bike out of the garage. Halfway down the driveway, he stopped. He paused before he turned around and looked in her direction. Ella held her breath while Simon unbuttoned his jacket. He pulled it off and held it up.

Ella squealed as she grabbed the extra helmet off the shelf and ran out to him. She put the jacket on, already warm from his body and straddled the back. She wrapped her arms around his waist as her thighs hugged his. His scent washed over her, warming her heart. This was heaven.

They peeled out of the driveway and shot down the street at lightning speed. The cold air burned her nose, but she welcomed it. The world flew by in a blur. Everything else was forgotten.

They pulled up to a red light beside a black Mustang that was blasting hip-hop. The two guys inside looked back at her. She squeezed Simon tighter; loving that they probably thought he was her boyfriend.

Simon peered over at the guys and when the light turned green, he sped out in front of them.

They passed her old high school, home of the Dragons. Ella had few fond memories of that place. They rode out to the outskirts of town, nearing Lake Torrance, which was a family hangout during the day while naughty teenagers flocked to it at night.

Ella had no clue where they were going and it didn't matter. She always felt safe with Simon. They could be floating to the moon and she wouldn't have cared as long as they were together.

Droplets of cold water splashed her legs. Then more. Soon the entire sky burst open as rain poured down. Simon sped up and they quickly took cover at a gas station.

"Shit, are you okay?" he asked, when he stood up and removed his helmet.

Ella pulled hers off and nodded, despite her chattering teeth. The ends of her hair were soaked and heavy against her shoulders. "I'll be fine. J-just shouldn't have w-worn a skirt."

His eyes drifted to her legs before he entered the store. A stocky guy in a baseball cap pumping gas kept looking at her. She looked away to not draw attention to herself, but he made his way over.

Please go in the store, please go in the store.

"Hey."

"Hello," Ella answered back, knowing she couldn't ignore him.

"Nice bike."

"Thanks, but it isn't mine."

He laughed. "Well, you definitely do it justice by just sitting there."

Ella's gaze narrowed as recognition set in. He had graduated from her high school when she was just a freshman. She didn't remember much about him, other than he had been a good baseball player. Richie or Ricky—something like that.

"So, you busy later?" he asked.

"Yeah, she is."

Simon handed her a cup and offered an evil stare to her former schoolmate. What's-his-name nodded and strolled back over to his car, checking out another woman at the gas pump next to his.

"Fucking idiot," Simon muttered as he sat back on the bike.

Ella smiled. If he was jealous then maybe she meant more to him than he let on.

"Coffee?" she asked, sliding closer to him.

Simon blew the steam from his Styrofoam cup. "Mine is. Yours is hot chocolate."

"You know me so well."

He remained quiet as the rain sprinkled onto the pavement. Ella stared at his back while she sipped her drink. The outline of his muscles was visible through his wet gray shirt. She wanted to lean her head against him. But she resisted.

"Simon?"

"Hmm?"

"What's the best thing you've ever done?" For her, it had been meeting him. She would never admit it, but she felt good about herself when they were together, despite his commitment to someone else. Not just any someone else. She swallowed down the unwelcome thought.

"Graduating from Dartmouth and marrying your mother."

Ella shook off the sting of jealousy. "What's the worst thing?"

"Do you even need to ask?"

She sipped her hot chocolate, not caring as the scorching liquid burned her tongue and throat. No one had ever told her that she was the worst part of them even if she'd deserved it. The worst... The realization that Simon viewed her that way cut deeper than she ever imagined.

"What about you?" he asked, oblivious to the tears in her eyes.

She blinked quickly. "Worst? Hmm, there's more than I care to remember. But the best? Hmm..." Ella knew what she was about to say wasn't the truth, but she wasn't going to place her heart out there for him to butcher again. "I'd have to say meeting Nolan."

"You've got to be kidding me!" Simon scoffed and looked over his shoulder. "Meeting that kid is the best thing that's ever happened to you?"

"Yeah. He's a good guy. Treats me very differently than other guys have. He takes an interest in me when I'm sitting up, not just lying down." She cut him with that remark. Good. He quickly turned around.

"Well, he just seems kinda weak to me."

"Weak? He's like a starting offensive lineman on the football team. Trust me, he's not weak."

"I don't mean physically." He tossed his cup into the trash. "You need someone who's going to call you on all your bullshit and not let you manipulate the fuck out of them."

Ella chucked her cup as well. "Someone like you?"

"Maybe. But just make sure he isn't married. Only douche bags cheat on their wives," he said, turning the ignition on. "Finally, it's letting up."

"You're not a douche bag, Simon," she whispered, but he had already pulled on his helmet. She sighed and followed suit. Darkness enveloped the sky as they made their way home through the light drizzle. Ella held on tight while she still could.

**********

Patricia

Patricia nearly spilled her afternoon coffee when the receptionist informed her that Simon was waiting in the lobby.

"Hi." She hesitated before she gave him a quick hug and kiss. He looked lightly tanned and every bit the hip college professor wearing an untucked shirt, jacket and dark jeans. Did he dress sharply because he had another woman he wanted to impress? The thought made her want to double over from pain. "What are you doing here?"

He pulled off his shades. "I wanted to take you to lunch."

"Oh. That sounds nice." Patricia glanced around the lobby. "But unfortunately, I have all of these reports that Sam is waiting on and—"

"Honey, we need to talk. Today."

"Simon, I..." The look in his blue eyes said he wasn't going to drop it this time. She couldn't go on pretending everything was fine. "Okay. Let me go grab my bag."

They stopped at Teddy's, a corner café they used to frequent when they first started dating. Patricia wished she could jump back to that time. A better time when her world wasn't crumbling around her.

"It's been a while since we've been here," she said, checking out all the happy faces, wondering if their public smiles covered their secret pain.

"Yeah. I'd love to take you out more, but lately you've been busy."

"I know," Patricia admitted. She tried to maintain eye contact but couldn't. "It's just a crazy time of year for us. Sam's set up unrealistic goals for the next two quarters and there's talk of more layoffs now, so there's a lot of tension in the office."

Simon reached for her hand. "Why don't you talk to me about any of this?"

"Well, because it's boring I guess," she said, pulling her hand from his grasp to fiddle with the back of her earring. His concern seemed so sincere. Seemed.