Gabriella Ch. 07

"Oh, be quiet." She grinned. "I was just going off the name."

"And that's why I love you," he whispered, kissing the side of her neck.

She closed her eyes, entranced by the smooth rhythm created by the ripples in the water and Simon's soft lips on her skin. Why couldn't all aspects of her life be this good? She would give anything to have her marriage, daughter, job and just overall happiness coincide just once in life.

"Simon?"

"Hmm."

Patricia thought of how to phrase her question. One that she had asked herself a million times but was always frightened of the answer. "Do you think I'm a bad mother?"

She grew anxious waiting for him to respond.

"I think you blame yourself too much for everything that's happened."

Patricia looked up at him. "That sounds nice but you didn't answer the question. Am I a bad mother? Be honest."

He shook his head. "No. Do I think you made a few mistakes? Yes. Are you a bad mother? No."

"Then why does she continue to shut me out?"

"Gabriella rarely lets anyone in, so don't be offended by that."

"Come on, Simon. She can barely stand to be in the same room as me. I know I work a lot, but I do notice things. I've walked into the kitchen before when she's been talking to you and she shuts up. And sometimes she'll stop midsentence and walk out." She looked back out at the pond. "When she was a teenager, I thought, 'oh well this rebellious adolescent behavior will go away. It's not directed just at me, this is just how they are'. But she's twenty now. And it hasn't gone away because it is directed at me."

"And me," he added.

"God, I just wish so bad I could have a do-over. There are so many things I would have done differently. I keep thinking about—" Patricia paused as she struggled for breath. "I-I was in the checkout line a few days ago, browsing over magazines wh—when I came across a Prom magazine and—"

Simon brushed her tears away. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"Th-the coldest chill ran down my spine. I swear Simon, I froze right there in line."

"Why, what happened?"

"Because I couldn't remember if Ella went to prom. Or any school dance. She never mentioned them to me and I never asked. What kind of mother doesn't even know if her child went to prom? I mean, wouldn't she have needed a dress? I can't believe I forgot about those things."

"Patricia, don't do this to yourself. You made some mistakes. We all do. But what's important is that you're trying to correct them now. You're trying and that's more than most ever do."

Patricia nodded and wiped her nose. "Okay. You're right."

"Of course I am." He tightened his arms around her.

"I just hate I messed up so badly."

"You fucked up," Simon amended. "Say it that way."

She scoffed and looked back at him. "What?"

"Come on, say it. Say, 'I fucked up'."

Patricia glanced around before whispering, "I fucked up."

Simon cupped his ear. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I fucked up," she stated louder.

"See, how did that feel?"

She leaned back against him. "Felt pretty fucking good."

Simon erupted in laughter and pulled her backwards onto the bench. Patricia squealed as she fell against his chest. He breathed a heavy sigh before his hand dipped below the waistband of her jeans.

"Simon!" She held his hand from lowering further.

"No one's here." His voice was thick with lust.

She looked around. There wasn't a person in sight. Just the two of them, the pond and a strange serene feeling in the air.

"Okay." She released his hand and his fingers sought her core. She bit her bottom lip to keep from moaning out loud as his fingers massaged her clit before diving inside her. Waves of pleasure flowed through her and settled between her legs.

"Simon," she moaned. She reached behind her and wrapped her hands around his neck, giving him free reign of all that was his. His free hand roamed up her stomach and over her chest, kneading her breasts. He worked his way beneath her shirt and rolled his palm over her sensitive buds. His fingers continued to move in and out of her soaking sex at a frenzied pace until an orgasm ripped through her body and she was forced to see her own stars.

Several minutes passed without a word spoken. Patricia inhaled the night air as she lay on his chest, rising and falling with each breath from him.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too." It was getting easier to say those words again.

**********

Gabriella

Ella waited exactly one hour before she called Nolan. She didn't want to appear desperate or look like a liar for crawling back to him after her bright idea ended up a bust. And she hated the feeling that she was using him, but she couldn't spend the night alone in this house.

"Nolan?" she said, when he answered.

"Hey baby, how are you feeling?"

"Oh, I'm okay. I actually was wondering if I could come over and model those outfits for you."

"Right now?"

"Yeah, if that's okay. Or I could come in nothing..."

He breathed heavily into the phone. "You have no clue what you do to me."

She giggled. "So is that a yes?"

"Gosh baby, I wish I could, but I'm actually on my way to my parents' house now to help my mom. She's screaming about a leak in the basement and swears the plumbers don't know what they're doing. As if I do."

Ella slumped against the kitchen counter. "Oh. Where's your dad?"

"In New York on business. And my brother is at the hospital, so the duty of calming my mom got handed to me."

"Okay. Well then I guess I'll still see you tomorrow, right?"

"Yep."

Ella wasn't ready to hang up just yet, but she didn't know what else to say.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Oh, nothing. Simon left earlier and I just don't want to stay here by myself."

"Aww, you're so cute. If you want, just crash at my place. That way I have a nice treat waiting on me when I get back tomorrow morning."

"Are you sure? I mean, I'd love that. But I don't want to impose."

"You're my girl, right? So mi casa, su casa. I'm not one of those guys that are funny about you leaving a toothbrush or something."

Ella smiled and bounced on her toes. "Thank you."

"No problem. The key is under the welcome mat."

"Okay." She felt a rush of exhilaration. "And tomorrow I want you to fuck me until I can't feel my legs."

He groaned. "I don't know if that's humanely possible, but I'll give it my best."

Ella quickly packed a bag and called a cab. Once she got to Nolan's apartment, she occupied her time between reruns of How I Met Your Mother and Friends. This also wasn't how she planned to spend her birthday, but it was better than being alone in their house with nothing but memories. But after the fourth program, boredom set in. She decided to try on the lingerie gifts from Nolan.

In his room, she slipped on the lacy light pink bra and matching panties with bows on the side. She smiled when she thought of Nolan pulling the strings on the tiny bows.

Simon pulling the strings...

She sighed and adjusted the bra straps.

"Goddamn, Nolan's a lucky motherfucker."

Ella shrieked and turned to find Bryan leaning against the doorframe staring at her. She quickly reached for Nolan's sheets to cover her body. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"My roommate's girlfriend is in town, so I'm crashing here tonight," he stated casually before biting into a green apple.

"How did you get in?"

He dangled a key from his finger as he chewed. Even though the bill of his cap was pulled down low on his forehead, she felt his eyes roaming over her.

She pulled the sheets tighter. "Well, that doesn't mean you have the right to just bust up into his place anytime you want."

"Actually Miss I've-only-been-his-girlfriend-for-a-minute that's exactly what it means." He continued to stare at her while he devoured his apple.

"Can you please leave so I can get dressed?"

He smirked. "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were dressed."

She crossed her arms and waited for him to leave.

"I've seen you in a lot less, you know." He grinned before rolling back from the doorframe and heading down the hall.

She slammed the door and went through her bag, which only consisted of the other lingerie gift, a sheer lavender chemise. She slipped back on her strapless black dress and walked into the living room.

Bryan was stretched out on the sofa watching ESPN. He turned to her and smiled. "Wow, is that all for me?"

"Does Nolan know you're here?"

He rolled his eyes. "I have a standing invitation to crash at his place anytime I want. Perks of being best friends."

Maybe Bryan didn't know how Nolan felt, but she did and he would be pissed at them being alone together. "Does he know you're here now?"

"Nope."

"Well, he's at his parent's house tonight, but he'll be back early tomorrow morning so we can spend some time together before the game."

"Okay."

"Okay, so do you get what I mean?"

He sat up and changed the channel. "I don't care if you two fuck. I brought my iPod."

She rested her hands on her hips. "That's not the point, Bryan."

"Chill, alright?" He went to the kitchen. "Besides I'm not gonna be here all night. I'm meeting some friends at a club," he shouted to her.

A stab of envy hit her. She wished she was doing something special tonight instead of living in re-run hell while waiting for her boyfriend to return.

When he came back, he stood beside her and twisted the top off a beer. He turned it up and drank half the bottle before he took a breath. He smiled at her and swatted her rear before he hopped over the back of the couch. "You should come with me. You're already dressed." He glanced back at her. "Speaking of, why are you dressed up?"

"Keep your hands to yourself. And today is my birthday, so Nolan took me out to dinner."

"Your birthday? Come out with me tonight. I'll buy you a drink."

"No."

"What the hell else are you going to do? Watch TV? On your birthday? On a Friday night? Lame."

It was lame. Although dinner was nice, this birthday was supposed to be better than the last nineteen. But she didn't trust Bryan. "I don't know."

"You don't know. Okay, let me make this easy on you." He held one hand up like a scale. "Stay at home on your birthday with shit to do. Or hang out with the most fun guy on campus, dance and get shit-faced," he said holding up the other hand. "Hmm...which one?"

Ella smiled. "Okay, okay, you have a point. I'll go but I'm not drinking."

He smiled and turned his ball cap around. "We'll see birthday girl."

An hour later, they met up with three of his friends at Club Vanity. Josh, another football player, and Craig, a bit of a stoner looking guy whose girlfriend Jaime latched onto her immediately, telling her a crazy story of how she and Craig met and fell in love. She was loud and brash, but Ella liked her.

After much resistance, Bryan finally got her to the dance floor. Their dancing started off innocent until his hands began to roam. She kept pushing them away until he held onto her and thrust his body roughly against her, no longer simulating any type of dancing. She pushed him away and stormed off the floor and over to a table where Josh, Jaime and Craig had settled.

"Have a good time?" Jaime asked, pinching her leg.

Ella fanned herself, her hair already sticking to her face. "I could have, if he would have stopped grinding against my ass."

Bryan leaned back in his chair and mumbled something.

Josh laughed. "Ooh, you better be glad Nolan's not here."

Ella cut her eyes to Bryan. "What did you say?"

He tipped the bill of his hat up with his bottle. "I said I've done more than that to your ass."

"You hooked up with Bryan?" Jaime asked, half curious, half disgusted. "I guess I just know him too well." She smiled at him and swatted his leg.

Ella nodded, still pissed at herself that she asked him to repeat what he had said loudly enough for everyone to hear. "It was before I started dating Nolan." She turned to him and put on a fake smile. "Guess I can never get those two minutes of my life back."

Everyone but Bryan laughed. His eyes bored into her as his grin faded. He looked down at his bottle, slowly turning it in his hands. "Yeah. Well, I enjoyed it. Couldn't pass up the girl who'd received such glowing recommendations from so many guys."

"Come on, lighten up man," Josh said, punching him in the shoulder. "It was a joke."

"Yeah," Bryan said, turning away from them.

"So anyway," Jaime said, scooting closer to her. "How did you and Nolan meet?"

Ella watched Bryan carefully from the corner of her eye. "We met in the school library. He bumped into me. We talked for a while and then he asked me out."

"Aww, that's so sweet." Jaime leaned her head against Craig's shoulder.

"Right," Bryan said. "Nolan in a library."

Josh shook his head. "Come on man, will you lay off it?"

Bryan leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "You really think he just bumped into you and asked you out without knowing who you were?"

She glanced around the table but didn't answer.

"Oh, he knew who you were, Ella. You've been the topic of conversation in the locker room quite a bit. Some of the guys were talking about girls who, um...how do I put this gently?" Heat rushed to her face as she kept her eyes on him. He gave her a blank stare. "Girls who like fucking. And surprise, surprise, your name came up. Some stories got traded and that's why Nolan asked you out."

No one spoke a word as she continued to stare at Bryan, too ashamed to look at the others.

"Am I lying?" he asked, turning to Josh. Josh sipped his beer, but didn't comment.

A natural tolerance should have been built up over years of hurt and humiliation she had endured at the hands of others or her dumb decisions. But it hadn't. Every word he spoke was raw and landed like a bullet into her chest. She prayed her face didn't reflect her deflated spirit. She shifted her eyes from Bryan to the crowd of people dancing.

Being used for sex had never bothered her if a guy was open about it. She knew what to expect, how to handle the situation and because of that, she had never been blindsided by any false intentions. Until now.

Jaime shook her head. "Bryan, you are such a dick. I don't understand why Becca even likes you."

He leaned his chair against the wall. "Maybe because I can give her the best two minutes of her life."

The sting of tears pierced behind her eyes, but she would rather die than to ever cry in front of Bryan. Or any of them. She would simply play it down like she did everything else that bothered her.

She smiled and sipped her water. "Nothing like a little boy's bruised ego." She stood and stretched nonchalantly although her insides trembled. "Smoke break. Be back in a bit," she said, so no one would think his revelation had broken her.

"Want company?" Bryan asked.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm a big girl. I think I can manage without you." She fought through the crowd to get to the entrance. Outside the cool air washed over her face. Her hands shook as she removed the cigarette pack from her purse. She blinked away a stray tear. "Where is my fucking lighter?"

"Those are hazardous to your health."

She exhaled and looked up at Bryan. He rested against the wall and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Apparently men are too." She found her lighter and lit the cigarette, inhaling the warm feeling. She closed her eyes and listened to the thumping of the music filtering out into the street.

"You okay?"

Ella blew smoke in his direction. "Like you care."

"Truth hurts," he said, checking out a girl who passed by them.

No, lies hurt. People pretending to be one thing, only to find out they were another. Nolan had been the one good thing in her life lately. Now even that had been tainted. She was ready to put the entire night behind her and forget that Nolan and Simon existed.

She tossed her cigarette down. "I need a drink."

***

The rest of the night had been filled with shots and beer cocktails. Whatever was offered, Ella accepted, self medicating. And even though she despised Bryan, as the night wore on and the alcohol gave her a temporary lobotomy, he became her partner in crime. Whatever he dared her to do struck her as a great idea: giving him a lap dance to "Rude Boy", making out with him, or Jaime or someone. It all flew by in a blur of laughter, music and endless drinks.

When they arrived at Nolan's apartment, Ella stumbled out of the car when Bryan opened the door for her, a task she couldn't handle on her own. It took every bit of concentration to place one foot in front of the other because she felt like she had four legs that weren't moving when her brain told them to.

"I'm gonna be sick," she managed to say as he helped her into the apartment. "Bathroom." Her head felt like it was expanding and her skull was shrinking. Her stomach rolled over and over again, making her feel every breath would end in vomit.

"I'll take you," he said, his lips brushing against her ear. His fingers roamed to the hem of her skirt as he tried to lift it. Her reactions were all delayed as she swatted at his hands, missing them both times.

His body propelled them forward, past what she remembered being the bathroom. When she saw Nolan's bed come into focus, she gripped the door frame.

"Don't," was all that came out as she pushed her body back against his and clung to the door with whatever strength her tired arms had left.

Bryan chuckled. "Come on beautiful, thought you were a big girl."

She couldn't tell if her voice worked when she mumbled, "No," but he pried her fingers from the frame and ushered her in, slamming the door behind him.

**********

Simon

Simon brushed Patricia's hair from her face and kissed her forehead. The action disrupted her light snores for a moment before continuing. Tonight had been a good night for them. He couldn't help but to make the connection that their better days were usually away from Gabriella.

He pulled on his green Dartmouth hoodie and headed downstairs to the lobby. It was nearing two in the morning and most of the hotel guests were asleep including his wife. But he was restless.

He had no clue where he was going as he walked through the parking lot and down the street, but needed to rid himself of the nervous energy and hundreds of thoughts racing through his head. And with Patricia not around he felt less guilty about those thoughts drifting to Gabriella and how close he had come to screwing up yet again.

The light drizzle pattered his face and made everything smell clean again. There were the nights when he wondered if he'd lost his grip on reality. He'd fall asleep with Patricia's sweet scent around him and wake up in a cold sweat as graphic images of Gabriella haunted him.

Steven was right. If Gabriella wasn't around, these problems wouldn't exist. Every night could be like tonight. Peaceful. Loving. Happy. Not the jumbled mess their lives were threatening to become, especially since the big blow up between Gabriella and Patricia that had Patricia growing more inquisitive.

The light sprinkle turned into heavy raindrops as he ran back to the hotel. Inside, he leaned against the lobby wall and watched the rain glisten from the black asphalt. His father loved weather like this. Said it calmed him down. Growing up, Simon had wished for it to rain more often.

He entered their room and crept into bed beside Patricia, careful not to wake her. She was turned on her side, facing away from him. He wrapped an arm around her small waist and pulled her back against his body. Her hair tickled his face, but he welcomed it. The familiar hint of jasmine mixed with hotel soap filled his nose and sent a shock of warmth straight to his heart. If only it could always be this way.