Game of Life Ch. 05-06

Liz's conviction that Vivian wasn't playing some kind of weird sick game, led to me visiting the clinic the day after Vivian arrived back into the country. I arrived early and was led up to her room where she'd just finished her breakfast. Immediately she spoke I was sure that she genuinely had lost her memory.

"I know who you are, you're my ex-husband James." She'd said the instant she spotted me walking into the room.

Never in her life had Vivian — nor had anyone else (and got away with it) for that matter — ever called me James. My given name is Jim or Jimmy and not James. I have no idea why my father had been so insistent about the difference, but my mother told me it had something to do with his experiences in the Far East during the Second World War. Mother wasn't even sure that I was named after a man, but she was sure that I was named for someone who was very close to my dad when he was in the jungle and cut off from his unit for a very long time. Dad hadn't talked very much about his war experiences, but he stayed in touch with a small group of friends and they always drank a toast to someone - variously and very fondly - referred to as either, Jim, Jimmie or Jimmel, when they got drinking together.

After my father had passed away, my mother suggested that whoever Jim was, my father owed them a great debt. Mother thought it was most likely to have been a native girl that she heard them mention had brought them food from a Japanese occupied village. The inference being that my father and this native girl were very close friends, and that possibly, she didn't survive the war. Otherwise - mother inferred - my father might have never returned home and married her, had the girl still been alive. How she knew this or repeated it after my father's death I never did discover.

Anyway that's digressing, but the fact is Vivian had never, ever, made the mistake before and I'm pretty sure at that time that she didn't make it deliberately.

"The children and my parents have brought me all these photographs of you and I together. There's no way I could mistake you, James." Vivian had gone on to say.

Out of habit I corrected her to Jim. Well, if she'd always called me Jim or Jimmy, it wasn't going to jog her memory calling me James, was it?

"I know we were married a long time Jim, but no one will tell me what went wrong; why did we divorce. On that paper there, it says irreconcilable differences, what did we do, fight a lot or something? Everyone clams up when I ask them about it, even the children."

"You had an affair, Vivian." I told her maybe a little brutally. But what was the point in beating about the bush, I thought the idea was to prompt and maybe shock Vivian into remembering.

"Oh my god, I didn't, did I?

"Yep you sure did; with your sister Stacie's husband."

"Oh god no! But it must be true, that would explain it."

"Explain what?"

"Well my other sister Janice has been to see me several times. But when I asked about Stacie, she's in some of those pictures; everyone kind of went quiet. My dad said that she's too busy to travel down here or something."

"I think she bears a bit of a grudge, Vivian."

"I don't blame her, what kind of a woman am I; what kind of a woman cheats on her husband with her sister's husband?

"One like your sister Janice. She was having an affair with him at the same time."

"Oh my god no! Please tell me you're joking with me?"

"No, I'm deadly serious girl. And what's more, both you and Janice were aware of each others liaisons with the bugger."

Should I have hit Vivian with these revelations as I did? Well, I'm buggered if I know. But I figured that she might as well hear it all up front. What was the point in not telling her the nasty bits about her life, you never know it might be the recollection of rolling around in the hay with Billy Banks, that was going to trip the switch that turned her memory back on.

"Oh my, it's no wonder my mind's decided to wipe my memory from my brain. It's like a horror story. Am I that evil?"

"No Vivian you weren't evil, you just ... I don't know, I think you convinced yourself that you were doing the right thing at the time. Plus the fact you were always attracted to the bugger."

Vivian was suddenly scrabbling through the great pile photo albums and pictures scattered across the table in her room; eventually she found the one she was looking for, it was of the family at Stacie's wedding. She sat and stared at it for a long time before she turned and looked at me again.

"He's nowhere near as handsome as you!"

"He had a golden tongue, girl and from what I can understand he was sex mad. But to be honest with you I'd prefer not to go into the details."

"I'm sorry, I just can't understand why I would do such a thing; we were happy weren't we. We must have been we were married for so long. And we had two such beautiful children."

"I though we were happy, but I guess I'll never know what you really thought. Suddenly I discovered that you'd been bedding the bugger for several months."

"Oh god, Jim, I'm so sorry."

"Vivian I forgave you a long time ago, but it isn't the sort of thing I'm built to forget. We got divorced and went our own ways; actually I thought you were doing pretty well in your new life until this happened. Can't you recall anything about what happened?"

"No, everything is a bit crazy until I woke up in hospital in France. I can remember waking up in the middle of a field and that's about it. Then there were faces and French policemen, then an ambulance then the French doctor. They though I was Canadian you know, something about my accent or something. Anyway then Janice and my mother and father were there, but I didn't recognise any of them."

"Then Liz arrived with Kate and Jamie, with all these people telling me my real name was Vivian and that I was English, I had to believe them. But after hearing what you've told my I wish I hadn't. It doesn't look like I have much to come back home to."

"Don't be silly, Viv, the children love you and you were building up a pretty hectic social life for yourself from what I hear." I might have been stretching things a little here but Vivian wasn't looking too enamoured about anything by this point.

"Oh god, I don't think I want to know about that, thanks!"

On reflection, probably of my own doing. I had to wonder whether I'd said too much.

"Come on, Viv, life has to go on. Besides the children need you at home for when they come home from college. They need to know there's a loving mother waiting for them. And what's more I do believe that when Jamie finishes college next year you're going to become a mother-in-law at least. Maybe even a grandmother before too long."

"I've met Frankie, she's a nice girl. But maybe a little manipulative."

"What do you expect she's been playing her divorced parents off against each other for donkey's years. They've taught her to be manipulative, now she needs a nice stable mother-in-law she can rely on and keep a friendly eye on her. She's always had a soft spot for you, you know. Even when ... Well, she's always liked you."

"And what about your life, Jimmie, are you going to marry that so called assistant of yours?"

"Liz, oh my god no. She's my PA and confidante in many things but there's not what you might call an intimate relationship between us."

"You could have fooled me."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I've lost my memory Jimmie, not my common-sense ... Although from what you've told me, I suppose you could say I lost that years ago. Anyway, whenever that woman mentions your name she all but sings it out. If she isn't in love with you, then I'm definitely not Vivian Sanders. You know, I'm beginning to feel very jealous of Liz."

"Why's that?"

"Because your eyes light up whenever you mention her as well."

"You're reading far too much into a good working relationship Vivian. Anyway we are not here to talk about me we are here to try to get your memory back."

"I'm not sure I want it back, I must have been a real bitch."

"I'd say more like a naive bitch for a while, but for many years you were a faithful wife and a brilliant mother to our children."

"How do you know that? I could have had a whole string of lovers from what you tell me."

"I have to believe that you only strayed once, Vivian. For my own sanity if nothing else."

"God I must have been off my head to have cheated on someone like you."

"I hope I can take that as a complement."

"You can, it was the way it was intended. But, Jim, do you mind if I ask. I'm not the same woman now; I can't recall a single detail of our life together. Is there any chance ... once we get to know each other ... That we might? You know we must have been in love once."

"I really don't think so, Vivian. You might not have the memory, but I always will have."

"Sorry please forgive me for asking, but I think it's better that we know exactly where we stand. Now, have you any ideas about how one goes about getting their memory back. The doctors here are quite vague."

"I've been looking on the Internet, and there doesn't seem to be a particular method or treatment. As I understand it, little bits of your memory will or can return when they feel like it. Doing once familiar things and going to familiar places is supposed to help; but it basically seems to be down to patience. You may never recall everything, you know."

I think after a tricky start the meeting went off amicably. At least Vivian didn't get any ideas like we'd be getting back together, although over the following months as she began to be able to recall more and more about our life together and we talked about it; I'll admit, that I did almost weaken. But eventually I knew she'd recall what she'd done with Stacie's husband.

I've got ahead of myself again. After a lot of heated discussion with all the family present except for Vivian, i.e. her mother, father, Janice and even Stacie, plus our own two children it was decided that it was best for Vivian to move back into what had once been our house. Her parents wanted her to move north to be near them, but a new environment wasn't going to help her recall her old one.

Hilary - the divorced mother of one of Katie's friends — who had become Vivian's best friend moved in with her for a long time, just to keep a friendly eye on her whilst the children were away at college.

I called in regularly and took them both out for dinner etc. nearly always to places that Vivian and I had gone to when we were married. Oh, often Liz came with me as kind of back-up and Anna too when she paid an unexpected call to the country again. Well not completely unexpected and she did lodge with me for a few nights during her stay.

Janice came down often to spend time with Vivian as well. Slowly at first, Vivian began to recall her memories, but later they came as a bit of a rush. They were a lot of tears when she recalled our married life together, and the children's birth's, christening's etc.

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Chapter 6: The Last Waltz

Then came the day Hilary called me at work and told me that Vivian had tried to kill herself. Well, she'd emptied the medicine cabinet of just about every pill in there; not that I think there was enough of anything to be fatal. But in combination, who knows?

Anyway Vivian's stomach had been pumped — an experience she later informed me, that she'd prefer not to be repeated — before I arrived at the hospital.

"I'm sorry Jim, it was a really stupid and thoughtless thing to do. Haven't I caused you and the children enough problems already?"

"The children don't know, Vivian, they've had their education buggered up enough as it is. Hilary and I figured we wouldn't tell anyone. The story is, that you took a nasty tumble."

"Thanks I never realised that I could be so thoughtless, I had a revelation during the night and it shook me to the bone."

"Up to date are we?" I asked after giving her a friendly cuddle.

"Not quite, but I was lying in bed during the night and suddenly remembered being in bed with him!"

"I see!"

"I must have been mad."

"No comment!"

"No honestly Jim, as a lover he totally stinks. What the hell I thought I was playing at I don't know. Maybe I'll remember how I ended up in bed with him one day, but it's not an experience I'd like to repeat."

"Pleased to hear it, but you did several repeat performances by all accounts."

I'd have preferred to have relived some of them on those videos and DVD's."

"Oh shit, you found them. God I'd forgotten all about them."

"I'm disappointed, I thought we did well together. A damned sight better than Stacie's husband could do anyway! They were in the back of the wardrobe; I suppose it was lucky that the children never came across them. Anyway I like to watch them sometimes, in the evenings when I'm alone."

"Oh Christ Hilary hasn't..."

"Don't be daft, Jim, they are our memories; private and personal to you and me. I just wish there was some way ... But I know that's never going to happen, is it?"

I chose not to go down the road Vivian was hinting at, so I replied. "You've got most of your past back now, Viv, I think you ought to stop thinking about the past; think about getting out with Hilary a bit more and finding your future."

"I will try, Jim, but I must thank you for being so patient with me."

"I'll always be here if you need me Vivian, but we are divorced and there's no going back."

"Well, I'd say that you'd better look to your future as well then, Jim."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I've told you before that I think that Liz is waiting for you to ask her to marry you."

"Both Liz and her sister Anna are dedicated businesswomen Vivian; I doubt either of them will ever get married."

"I wouldn't be so sure, identical twins they might be, but I can see them falling out over you. And what about your Danish friend, you don't seem to have seen much of her lately?"

Who the hell had told Vivian about Semine, I had no idea. I'd thought I'd kept her out of the equation where Vivian was concerned. I had to assume that Katie or Jamie must have mentioned her to Vivian.

"There was a time when Semine and I could have got together, but I don't think that will happen now. She's met up with a local guy over there and I do believe they are getting pretty serious, or so her daughter told me when she was over a few weeks ago."

"You never told me, about her."

"I couldn't see much point Vivian."

"Yeah, I understand your life is your own now."

For some weeks after that Vivian apologised for the pill episode almost every time we saw her; the we, being Liz and I. It was shortly after the same incident that Vivian returned to work part time at the same insurance office where she'd been working before her disastrous holiday.

She seemed to take my advice to look to her future to heart, because she and Hilary started going out together fairly often. Although because the insurance office wasn't very far from my office she did join Liz and I for lunch every so often and, from what I heard, Liz when I was out of the country.

I suppose a year must have almost passed before Katie dropped the first hint that there was a new man in her mother's life. Jamie had finished his education and had moved back home with Vivian and Hilary; but I never saw very much of the lad because he and Frankie were ... Well I suppose they were doing what most engaged couples do. Anyway it wasn't going to be very long before Frances conned the biggest wedding in Christendom out of her still warring — or trying to out do each other - parents.

Anyway Katie had come home for the weekend and on the Saturday morning she had turned up at my place with a questionable looking young man; I believe she'd dragged him along for my inspection. Well what could I say; what father ever finds that his daughter's suitors measure up to the mark? But he seemed a personable enough young man, so I didn't come on all that strong.

But it was while we were eating lunch that Katie mentioned Grif. When I asked who Grif was, poor Katie took on the expression of a rabbit caught in a car's headlights.

After a short period of um's and ah's from Katie that left me smiling, she blurted out that Grif was a friend of her mother's who she'd met for the first time the night before. Actually I believe Katie's trip home had more to do with Grif being presented for Katie's approval than it had the young man who was accompanying Kate, being presented for mine.

"He's very nice, dad, if a little on the shy side. He's quite funny really although I don't think intentionally, never been married and gets all tied up in knots when he tries to say things to women."

"Sounds like a bit of a geek to me." I commented.

"Yeah I supposed you could call him a geek. But he's crazy about mum and that's what's important. Grif's not the sort of bloke to mess her around."

"Glad to hear it; where did she meet him, do you know?"

"At some work do, I think. Birthday party or something, everyone was dancing, mother took pity on him and dragged him out on the floor. I told you he's very shy, I doubt he'd have had the nerve to ask Mum to dance. Apparently they went out on a date with Hilary and his friend a few days later and he's been sending her flowers and things ever since."

"Hilary and his friend, have a real hot romance going and I think that could be helping them along a little. You know what mum's like, she's a little reticent to get involved too much."

"What do you mean, she isn't as keen on this Grif bloke as he is on her?"

"Well not exactly, mum still worries about what you'll think. She likes Grif a hell of a lot, you can tell that when she talks about him. But you're still not hooked up with anyone are you dad?"

"God she's not waiting for me to get hitched before she gets involved with anyone else, is she?

"I don't think she's doing it intentionally dad. But you know mum, she was hoping that one day you two might ... So really, it's any excuse she can come up with not to get involved with anyone else. I think she's worried about what you're going so say."

"Oh shit, what are we going to do about that?"

Katie grinned back at me. "Well, we're all going out for a meal this evening at the Checkers with Jamie and Frankie. Wouldn't it be a coincidence if you turned up there, maybe with Liz and joined us? If mother saw that you didn't get all out of shape over her being with Grif, then ... Well who knows?"

"Or it could scare the pants off of the poor guy; he might run a mile!" I replied.

"No, you'll be your most charming self; magnanimous in the extreme."

I will?

"Yeah, if you like him. But remember dad, he's mother's boyfriend, not yours. It's mum he's supposed to make happy!"

"On my best behaviour Katie, I promise."

Katie called Jamie the moment we were out of the restaurant and cleared things with him. I had a little chat with him and gathered that he also approved of Grif. Apparently he could talk "networks and servers" and I think that puts just about anyone on Jamie's good guy list. But hearing that Grif passed muster with Frankie meant a lot more to me. Frankie was never going to be anyone's fool

I knew the people at the Checkers, so it wasn't too much of a hassle for me to change the party's reservation. I'd told Jamie I'd slip him my credit card and he should insist on taking care of the bill with it, but without letting on to anyone who's credit card he was using."

Liz and I were waiting for Jamie and Frankie when they arrived from their flat and I slipped him one of my charge cards. Then Liz and I stayed out of sight until Katie, the gooey eyed young man I'd met earlier, Vivian, Grif, Hilary and her heartthrob turned up. Then Liz and I, as subtly as we could, appeared.