Gaming: D&D Pt. 04

- "I want to ask Tanya out." I said.

- "Why don't you?" said Nathan.

- "What if she says no? I don't want to fuck up our D&D group. That could make things really awkward."

"I have to ask her out without letting it be obvious that it's a date." I said.

- "How are you going to do that?" he asked.

- "Very carefully."

***

- "Nate, I've got two tickets to the George Thorogood concert." I said. "You want to go?"

- "That sounds awesome. But we've got family visiting that night - I can't make it." He said it perfectly. It didn't sound scripted at all.

- "Tanya? How about you?" I said, summoning all of the nonchalance I could muster.

- "What night is it?" she asked. I repeated the date. Her face fell. "Oh - crap. That's the same night as the Lifeguards' party. I can't miss that. Sorry, Ian."

- "I'll go." said Derek. "I love Thorogood. Unless you want to take Parvani ..."

Thorogood put on a fantastic show. Derek and I had a great time. I especially enjoyed the beers and the plate of nachos afterwards.

***

- "Tanya, do you want to see American Werewolf in London?"

- "Oh, shit - that's a great movie, Ian. But I've already seen it."

I went with Nate and Parvani. It was a good film.

***

- "Tanya, do you want to play tennis?" I asked.

- "Sounds great. Can you meet me after work?" said Tanya.

I met her at the pool where she was a lifeguard. Holy fuck.

Tanya had a body ... I can't even describe it properly. Her legs were a bit too strong, too powerful, for a model. Her waist wasn't waspish. She had nice B-cup boobs. And a striking face, with that semi-permanent smirk ... and beautiful auburn hair.

She was hot. I couldn't quite explain it, except to say that the whole was immeasurably greater than the sum of the parts.

I played to her forehand, and she crushed me 6-1. We went for beers and a pizza afterwards, at a local tavern. In some ways, Tanya was like one of the guys. She wasn't all that comfortable expressing emotions; she preferred punching me on the shoulder, or making fun of me.

- "You know," she said, "my first impression of you was completely wrong. I had you pegged as a gaming nerd with limited social skills. You'll be happy to know that I've completely changed my mind."

- "Oh?"

- "Yeah - now I see you as a brainless ex-jock who's becoming a gaming nerd."

- "That's ... an improvement." I said.

- "I know, right?" she said.

Tanya picked up the tab.

***

Second year started. Parvani's schedule didn't match mine so well this time: she was an early bird, who preferred morning classes, while I was more of a night owl. I loved staying up late, talking to Nate, or listening to music in a quiet, peaceful house. Some of my best ideas occurred to me in the early morning hours. Whenever I could, I chose classes that started at 11:30 - if not later.

I was still running, when possible, but I had a hard time making it to the cross-country team training sessions. Tanya was in the same boat, so I was only able to run with her once a week or so. Once or twice that led to us going out for a coffee or a beer afterwards - though we often invited others to join us.

I did convince Tanya to meet me on campus for lunch, and then steered her to the rec centre.

- "Ping pong?" she said.

- "Afraid that you might finish second?" I said, setting the hook.

- "You forget - I've seen you play real tennis. All right - bring it on."

I cleaned her clock.

- "I had no idea that revenge was so sweet." I said, afterwards.

- "Yeah, yeah." she grumbled. "It's not even a real game."

- "I will happily let you crush me at tennis again - whenever you like." I said.

***

We had a couple of very good D&D games in September. Once we even played at Parvani's house. I was getting better as a GM, and Alan only showed up half the time. Tanya missed one, but Nate, Parvani, and Derek were there every time.

It was difficult to plan, though, when I didn't know if the party would have a front-line fighter. I had to be flexible. Nate was the only one who noticed.

- "You were changing the story as we played, weren't you?" he said, after the others had gone.

- "Not the story - just the opponents." I said.

- "Is it difficult to do?" he asked.

- "It's not so bad. It's the story that counts - it doesn't really matter if we fight three witches, instead of four."

- "Parvani seems to be enjoying herself." he said.

- "Oh, yeah. She loves it. And she loves you guys."

- "She makes it more fun for us." said Nate.

He made us a second cup of tea.

"Any progress with Tanya?" he asked.

- "Some." I told him how many times I had seen her, and tried to estimate how well each encounter had gone.

- "You should just ask her out, Ian." he said. "If you wait too long, somebody else is going to snap her up."

- "Tanya is far more likely to do the snapping - don't you think?"

At our next game, in October, Parvani made an announcement.

- "Umm ... I'm having a Halloween party at my house. Well, it's a combination Halloween- Nate's birthday party."

- "What kind of party?" I asked. I had visions of tea cups and buttered scones.

Parvani blushed. "A costume party. My parents will be away for the weekend." she said.

- "Cool." said Tanya.

Parvani had never had a party before, according to her - unless you counted her 11th birthday, when her school friends brought presents and they had cake. She asked Nate and me for help.

- "I don't have a stereo." she admitted. "Can you help me with music?"

- "I can bring a tape deck, and hook it up to a couple of speakers." said Nate.

- "Umm ... I should have some ... uh, beer? And wine?"

- "Who are you inviting, Par?" I asked her. "How many people?"

- "Well, you guys. My debating team. A couple of other people I know from school. Umm ... about 25?"

- "Can I bring a friend?" asked Tanya.

My heart gave a lurch.

- "Do we know him? Her?" said Nate, with a quick glance at me.

- "Daphne. She's a lifeguard." said Tanya.

- "It'll be nice to meet her." said Parvani.

***

Nate took care of the music, with an assist from Derek. Alan helped me get three cases of beer (a 'case', in Canada, was also known as a 'two-four'), and two bottles of vodka. He would also take care of the grass, for those of our group who were so inclined.

Obviously, Parvani wouldn't want people smoking inside the house, in case her father could smell it days later. There was, also, the danger that some idiot would flick ashes or stub out a cigarette on the carpet. Alan and I deputized ourselves to keep an eye out for smokers, and shepherd them into the backyard.

We had a hoot preparing costumes. By common agreement, we kept our plans secret, so that we could surprise each other on Halloween.

Alan showed up in a lab coat, with safety goggles.

Derek had a black karate gi, with a wooden kendo sword tucked into his belt. His long hair was tied behind his head, and he had white makeup on his face - Nate had helped to draw exaggerated eyebrows for him.

Nate had a long robe, and a staff. He had some kind of powder in his hair to make it look grey.

I was going simple, with a long brown robe and a rope for a belt. I had a leather purse hanging from my belt, which was useful for carrying my wallet and a church key (a bottle opener - no twist-off caps in those days).

The girls put us all to shame. Parvani was dressed as a fairy, with little wings. Her dress was ... diminutive. She was showing a lot of leg, and her arms and shoulders were bare. She had ditched her glasses, too. In fact, she looked almost as good as she had at our prom.

- "Amazing." I said. "You look great."

- "Thanks, Ian." she said.

But Tanya and her friend Daphne had come as punk witches. They had fake noses, with hooks and warts, and tall, pointy black hats. Their makeup was hideous - but not enough to conceal the fact that there were two very attractive women beneath it. As for their dresses - well, if they had combined the material, there might have been enough to cover one very small person.

Tanya was showing some leg, some midriff, and considerable cleavage. I couldn't think of anything to say, except "Wow." She and her friend Daphne were easily the prettiest girls at the party.

It wasn't just my imagination: I would have bet money that the Debating girls were casting envious glances and making sarcastic comments about the two hot witches. As for the Debating guys, they were just dicks.

Derek and I were having a beer in the kitchen when one of them swaggered over. I swear - 'swagger' was a perfect description for his way of walking.

- "So you're Parvani's nerd friends?" he said, enunciating every word.

- "This is Derek. I'm Ian. Did you say nerd friends?"

- "Well, aren't you the ones who play Dungeons and Dragons?" said Asshole.

- "And?"

- "You have to admit - it's quite ... geeky. Hardly a mainstream occupation."

- "Unlike Debating." I said.

The Asshole detected sarcasm. "Debating," he said, "can be a stepping-stone to Politics or the Law. Where will Dungeons and Dragons lead you?"

- "Did you get beat up a lot in high school?" asked Derek.

- "Pardon?"

- "I have nothing against Debaters." said Derek. "I don't know any of them very well. But you seem to be a complete dick."

Asshole was taken aback - he didn't have a quick comeback.

- "You're proving my point." he said, finally. Then he grabbed one of my beers from the fridge, and stalked away. We let him have the last word, such as it was.

- "Nice one." I said, to Derek.

Our group began spending more time in the backyard. Alan was lighting joints, for one thing. It was also a bit warm, inside the house. Not to mention the fact that it was full of debaters.

I was in the house, getting beer from the fridge, when I spotted another guy lighting a cigarette, just inside the front door.

- "Hey - smoke outside." I said.

He just looked at me.

- "Who the fuck are you?" he said.

I pointed at the sign we had put on the wall, right next to his head. It read 'Please smoke outside'.

- "I'm a guy who can read." I said.

For a moment, I thought he was going to make a big deal about it. Finally, he shrugged, and went outside.

Parvani spent some time in the backyard, with us. Then she went back to mingle with the debaters, not wanting to ignore any of her guests.

A while later, I felt nature calling, and went inside. I was just turning into the hallway when I saw something I hadn't expected.

Parvani had her back to the wall, between the bathroom and one of the bedrooms. She didn't look very happy. The Asshole who had talked to us in the kitchen was standing far too close to her.

He had a beer bottle in his left hand, which he was using to prevent her from escaping. Parvani had her hands on his chest, trying to push him away as he attempted to kiss her. Then, he reached up with his right hand and grabbed her boob.

Parvani squeaked, and swatted at his hand.

Two quick steps, and I was close enough to grab his arm, and pull him away. Then everything happened really quickly.

As I pulled him off Parvani, Asshole protested. "What the fuck?" He swung at me with his free hand - the one with the bottle. He splashed beer across Parvani, and the wall behind her, but he also got some on me. I managed to turn my head at the last instant, so that he didn't hit me in the face. There was a solid thunk as the bottle glanced off my skull. I can't remember if it hurt or not. The bottle didn't break.

I just reacted. I punched Asshole in the face. Right in the teeth.

That did hurt. Suddenly, there was blood everywhere. Most of it was his, I think. Asshole fell back on his ass. He dropped the beer bottle, and both hands went to his face. Some of the other debaters began to gather in the hallway behind us.

- "Ian - are you alright?" said Parvani.

I don't exactly remember everything that happened after that, but I do have some very clear memories. Tanya took charge of getting the Debaters out of there. She found two friends of Asshole who would take him home. Then she shooed everybody out, with help from Nate and Derek.

Parvani took me to the kitchen, and got some ice to put on my hand. Then she went hunting for a medical kit. When she took the ice off, to get a better look, she turned green. I had gashed my hand on the Asshole's teeth - badly. The skin was torn, exposing raw flesh. On my middle finger, I thought I could see bone.

- "Whoa." said Alan.

I have to give her credit: Parvani cleaned the wound as best she could, wrapped some gauze around it, and got more ice. It hurt like hell, but I wasn't going to say anything about that. There was a lot of talking, though I don't remember everything that was said. I think Parvani had to re-tell the story two or three times.

- "You need stitches." said Derek.

- "We should get you to a hospital." said Tanya.

My friends were in no condition to drive - even if we had had a car. The guys were all planning to crash at my house, since my Dad was at Jill's, and Cherie was having a sleepover at a neighbour's. Tanya and Daphne hadn't decided if they were going to sleep at my house, in my sister's room, or get a cab.

- "Should we call an ambulance?" asked Nate.

- "No." I said. That would have gotten Parvani into serious trouble if her dad found out. "I can take the bus."

That just made everybody think that I was in shock. Maybe I was.

That's when Simran got home.

It took ten minutes for everybody to tell Simran their versions of the story, while I just sat quietly.

- "May I see?" she asked. She gently removed the ice pack, and unwrapped the gauze. She didn't flinch when she saw my hand. I didn't want to look at it, so I was watching her eyes, instead.

"I'd better take you to the hospital." she said.

- "I can take the bus." I suggested.

- "Don't be silly." she said, with a frown.

Simran took charge. She put my friends on clean-up detail, and issued instructions. She also had a quiet talk with her sister, in private. Then she went to change her clothes.

Parvani gave me a gentle hug. "I'm so sorry ... about all of this."

- "Not your fault, Par." I said.

Simran had changed into a red t-shirt and black slacks.

- "Let's go." she said.

- "Sorry about this." I said.

- "You're kidding, right?" said Simran.

- "This is getting to be a habit - you driving me somewhere in the early hours of the morning." I was thinking of the time when Simran had picked us up after the movie at the Pantheon.

- "Does it hurt?" she said, glancing at my hand.

- "A bit." I admitted. In fact, I was in considerable discomfort.

- "You seem to be making a habit of saving my sister from awkward situations." she said.

- "Awkward?"

- "The night of the Prom?" said Simran. "And then talking to my parents so that she could keep playing D&D with you?"

- "Oh. That was ... no big deal." I said.

- "And tonight?"

- "I just ... reacted. Not much thinking involved."

- "Sometimes that's more telling - when there's no thinking involved." she said.

I had no clue what that meant.

Simran got me to the hospital in under 15 minutes. I walked into the Emergency room while she parked the car. Unfortunately, there had been a stabbing - a pretty rare occurrence in our city. Then somebody came in with all the symptoms of a heart attack.

In other words, they weren't going to get to me right away.

- "Maybe you should go home." I said. "I'll be okay." I felt like a complete dweeb, sitting in the emergency room in my costume. Mind you, it was Halloween - so I wasn't the only one.

- "Get serious." she snorted. Simran used a payphone to check in with her sister. When she came back, she told me about it.

"She's fine. Your friends Tanya and Derek have taken charge. They got rid of the rest of the guests, and they're cleaning up. Nothing for you to worry about."

- "I'm sorry." I said. "I didn't mean to spoil your evening."

Simran turned in her seat to face me squarely. "Ian." she said. "Stop apologizing. You saved Parvani from ... Lord knows what. You should be proud of what you did - not sorry."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I said nothing.

- "You know you're her best friend." said Simran.

- "She's my best friend." I said. "Her and Nate."

- "She thinks the world of you." said Simran. "She talks about you all the time. She makes you sound like some kind of Renaissance man."

- "Oh?"

Simran misunderstood my reaction. "You know what that is?"

I nodded. "Sure - Da Vinci, Sir Philip Sydney - but I have no idea why Parvani would think that I was one."

- "Really? She says that you were a good hockey and soccer player. But you read, and you won an entrance scholarship to university. And then, to top it all off, Parvani says that you're quite gifted at coming up with stories for your game."

"She says that you create the villains, and the other characters - and that you give them all voices, like an actor."

- "I'm more of a mimic." I said.

- "How so?" asked Simran.

- "Well ... if I hear a voice often enough, I can copy it."

- "Really?"

I looked away - I couldn't do it while looking her in the eye. "Mr. Ian - What are your intentions towards my daughter?" I tried to match Mr. D.'s tone and inflection. I must have done a reasonable job. Simran had her mouth open.

- "That's amazing!" she said. "You sound like my father!"

- "It's not the most marketable of skills." I said.

- "You could be an actor." said Simran.

- "Or a con man." I said.

She frowned at that. "Hmmm ... would you like a coffee?" she asked.

The coffee was awful. And it was almost 3:30 a.m. before they called for me. But I enjoyed every minute of it. Simran spent the better part of an hour psychoanalyzing me, trying to understand why I was being so modest, and resisting her attempts to pay me a compliment.

I didn't let her learn the truth: the fact that I had a huge crush on her. She was lovely - striking, really, with her long black hair, beautifully shaped brown eyes, and that imperious nose that would have made Caesar jealous.

She had a lovely body, too - I wasn't blind to that. But I was mainly enjoying the sound of her voice, which was deep, and resonant. When she laughed, it usually came out as a throaty chuckle.

And she did laugh - often - as we sat and talked, and drank bad coffee. I finally got her off the subject of me, and onto her family. She was happy to talk about Parvani, but I eventually managed to get Simran talking about herself.

Yes, I knew that she had a boyfriend. And yes, I had a crush on Tanya. All I can say in my own defence is ... you weren't there.

Simran was an A student through high school and university. She had a double major in business and psychology. She was recruited by a big insurance company, and ended up working in their human resources department.

- "Do you enjoy it?" I asked her.

- "It's challenging, and the money is very good." she said.

- "That's not what I asked." I said.

Unfortunately, they finally called for me just then. A doctor looked at my hand, made a face, and ordered an operating room for me. They stuck needles in my hand, and two of my fingers. They put a little screen up, to block my view of what was going on. It was just as well, I suppose.

While the doctor stitched, I was thinking - or dreaming while awake - and trying to figure out where my head was.

I had a crush on Tanya. But if I could have persuaded Simran to run away with me, at that moment, I would have. And sweet Parvani thought I was some kind of Renaissance man. More of a low-grade Casanova wannabe.