Garnet

"I'm going over to David's tonight, so I'll be home late."

"David is such a nice man. I'm glad the two of you are dating. He is such a good role model for you." Emma smiled at her daughter and Garnet smiled back. She couldn't think of a good answer, so she just walked out the door.

***

Garnet lay on her stomach with her face mashed against the rough green carpet. Her hips were in the air and she felt David's large hands grip her tiny hips even harder than before. She had withdrawn herself completely from the situation. It had been like this for a month now. She forgot how romantic and caring he once was. It was as if the moment they began having sex she was an object. She had tried talking to him, but it was no use. He had complete control over her, and the moment he discussed her future and how important it was that they remained together, she refused to argue. She wanted to go to college. She wanted to become a writer. There was no way her parents had the money for any of that, but David's family did. The guilt trip worked every time, and that left Garnet in the most compromising positions, both physically and emotionally.

"Fuck, you feel good, Baby. I love fucking your sweet young pussy. Fuck!" David was slamming into her so hard that she was sliding against the carpet. She'd have carpet burn on her knees. She just knew it. He grunted and exploded inside her. Instead of lingering inside her, trying to make her cum, he withdrew and walked to the bathroom to clean up. By the time he came back, Garnet was dressed and sitting on the couch. She was holding her breasts, which were even sorer then before. Her whole body ached, and each time they had sex, it got worse.

"I should be going home David. I still have homework to do."

"Yeah sure."

David drove Garnet home, and just as she got out of his truck, he blurted out. "I'm going camping with some friends next weekend. You're not invited. It's a guy thing."

Garnet watched as he drove off. She entered the house quietly and after undressing, lay in bed, unable to sleep. She lay on her back and traced small circles on her stomach. She had never been exactly thin but was always curvy enough to be considered sexy and cute. As her mind raced with thoughts, she realized that the stress of the situation was taking its toll. It wasn't necessarily the fact that she was having premarital sex with her boyfriend. It was the fact that she was still too nervous to go and get the pill. She had tried and had given up when she was asked her age along with some other private details. She had hung up the phone, swearing never to call back to that women's healthy clinic. She knew it was wrong that every time she had had sex with David, which was a total of ten times at the moment, she had let him cum inside her. He had not once cum on her breasts, face, or anywhere else. She was relieved since Tiffany had told her that semen tasted gross.

Garnet vowed to call her doctor's office tomorrow. She could do it between classes or ask to go to the washroom during English. Her teacher was nice and wouldn't notice if she was gone a few more minutes then normal. Garnet was going to take charge of her situation and the first thing would be to get on the birth control pill.

***

The house was quiet as Garnet sat on the baby-blue toilet. The bathroom was a mix of strange colors but that was to be expected of such a small, rundown, home. The shower was gray, and the sink was a peach color. She was looking down at the floor and was disgusted at how dirty the floor really was. The tiles had a smudge of dirt and the grout, once white and sparkling, was gray and black. Her mother had tried to liven up the room by purchasing two matching bath mats. They were green with pink flowers but the edges were fraying.

Garnet had just returned from the drug store. She had called her doctor's office at lunch and had been asked a few questions over the phone. The receptionist was very nice and when Garnet had admitted she thought she might be pregnant, it was suggested she do a home pregnancy test so as to not come in and be charged for the visit. Garnet had listened carefully and was now perched on the toilet seat.

She couldn't look up. She didn't want to look up. She knew what she would see. Lying on the counter next to her was the pregnancy test. She had taken it ten minutes ago and knew that it took less then three minutes for the result to show. Tears were falling down her face now. There was no other explanation for what had been going on. It had been two months since she started having sex with David, and she had yet to have a period. She hadn't been paying attention until she looked through the bathroom for more dental floss and noticed the blue cardboard box of tampons. It was only then that she began to put everything together.

She had immediately rushed out to buy a pregnancy test. She tried to stay inconspicuous as she quickly grabbed the first test she saw on the shelf. After paying for the test from her babysitting money, she shoved the box into her coat pocket and walked home. She hoped that if she was lucky and it was negative, that no one would mention to her mother about her purchase. This was one of the many drawbacks to living in a small town. The storeowner might casually mention to his wife about Garnet's purchase, and that information would travel with lightning speed through town until it got to the Robertson household.

Without even looking, she grabbed the test. She'd given up on pretending that this was a dream. She knew exactly what she was going to see. The test showed two pink lines, the second one so bright that the first looked faded. For a moment, she had a glimmer of hope. Maybe the test was defective. Quickly grabbing the box, her eyes darted from the test to the box. No mistake. The test line was dark. The control line was the light one which meant that she had a high amount of the pregnancy hormone in her body.

She was pregnant. The worst thing in the world to have happen to her. Her mother would freak out. Her stepfather would grin and say that he expected no less of her. Three months ago, she would have assumed that David would have proposed to her right away, but that was no longer the case. They had drifted apart emotionally but remained together for the convenience. Garnet knew it was wrong. She knew how bad it was that she remained with someone who was using her for sex. She couldn't help it. She wanted approval from someone, anyone.

Garnet decided that she would tell David first. It was a necessary step, although she could guess his reaction. He would tell her to have an abortion. It was simple. She knew that this would tear them apart although in hindsight there really wasn't anything to tear apart. He would get mad and call her names. No matter what she said, he would twist it and blame her. She wondered if his friends thought it was cool when a guy got a girl pregnant. Did they gloat about it in the locker room after football practice? Garnet didn't dare ask that question.

After school that day, she waited on the lawn outside school, watching as he walked across the field. She was wearing her plaid skirt and a turtleneck. The bruise on her neck was a light yellow color but she didn't want anyone to ask questions. It was a cool April afternoon, but the sun had enticed students to do what Garnet did anyways, lounge around on the grassy meadow outside the large Catholic high school.

"Hi, Baby. Let's go." David was used to meeting Garnet after school and then going to his truck for some sex. It was the same routine every day and when she didn't get up, he got upset.

"Excuse me? We're going." David reached down to grab her arm but Garnet pulled away.

"Can you sit down so we can talk for a bit?" Garnet's voice was so timid that he could barely hear her. She was trying to be assertive but she wanted to crawl into his lap and kiss him. She could never think straight around him and that drove her mad.

"What's up?" David was running his hand up her leg. She knew he would soon be fingering her pussy. He didn't care if anyone saw. He liked the fact that she let him do whatever he wanted both in public and private.

"I'm pregnant."

David's hand retreated away from her body so quickly it was as if she was burning hot or freezing cold. He processed what she said then pulled back even more. Time stood still as the couple stared at each other. Garnet expected him to order her to get an abortion and never tell anyone. It was in his nature to never take the blame for his mistakes. Instead, he responded in a very different way.

"As if. Well, it's not mine. You've been sleeping around on me for months. We've never had sex. We're fucking Catholic, Garnet. We were going to wait until we got married. I was going to propose on your eighteenth birthday but since you failed a year, I was going to wait until you finished high school. I was going to propose to your at commencement. There is no fucking way that is happening."

"What?" Garnet jumped up and for once was able to look down at him. What was he talking about? She was trying to think clearly. Why was he lying to her face? It was then that she remembered a lesson from her psychology teacher, explaining that pathological liars repeat their lies aloud to reinforce to themselves that it is the truth. This was exactly what David was doing. Emphasizing to himself that he was the innocent one.

"You heard me. You tell anyone that I'm the father and they're going to hear how you stood me up on dates and how I heard you went Drango's Bar to find random guys to fuck. You are not dragging me into this disaster. I told you to go on the pill, you slut. There is no way I'm ever using a condom."

Garnet gave up. Her whole body quivered as she grabbed her bag and began to walk home. She didn't look back to see David's reaction. She didn't care if anyone had seen the exchange of words. She didn't care about anything. She had to get home as quick as possible and try to convince her mother what had really happened.

She wasn't fast enough. David's truck was parked on the street, and Garnet knew exactly the scene that was playing out on the other side of the plastic screen door. Emma was probably comforting David, being told that it wasn't his fault that his girlfriend was a whore. Her mother was most likely explaining that since her dad left, Garnet had been troubled. She walked in and saw that exact scene, except the two of them were sitting at the kitchen table instead of the couch as she had imagined.

"You are a disappointment, Garnet. I knew you were as stupid as Tiffany. I'm furious that you would do that to David. He's such a nice young man. You're going to keep your mouth shut about this until you start showing, and then you'll stop going to school. I'll call Tiffany's mother and get the phone number for that woman up on Vermont. You'll go there to give birth, and then I never want to see you again.

Garnet just stood there looking from her boyfriend to her mother. There was no way to win, so she just gave up and walked to her bedroom. A short while later, she heard David drive off in his truck. Garnet didn't even have the energy to cry. She had cried enough already.

***

Garnet stood in her bedroom holding the small backpack with her things. She was wearing a gray t-shirt and sweatpants. Nothing really fit her anymore, and she had no money to buy any proper maternity clothing. Her body had changed so much in seven months that even if she dared look at herself in the mirror, she would be disgusted. She had gained almost forty pounds already, and her breasts had swelled from a perky B cup to almost a double D cup. She had stopped going to school two months ago when it was evident that she could not hide her pregnancy. Her mother had made that decision, and wasn't going to back down. Even though the whole town knew she was knocked-up with twins and that David Clouse was the father, her mother believed that it was a huge embarrassment for her to continue going to the Catholic school. She was finally going to Vermont to live with a nice woman named Denise. This was the first thing she was looking forward to in a long while.

Garnet was dropped off at the train station. Her mother barely said anything to her on the drive there until she put the car into park and turned to look at her daughter.

"David told me what happened."

Garnet's eyes lit up. Her mother sounded sincere. She wanted to believe that her mother was actually going to be a mother to her at this moment but then that hope quickly faded.

"He told me how timid and shy you are around him and how you were always so willing to do anything. I can't believe that you let him use you as a sex toy. You are such a slut. I'm not sure whose worse, Tiffany or you. I mean Tiffany found a random guy to fuck whereas you decide the only way to stay together with David is to let him fuck you. Was it good?"

"I'm not having this conversation. Garnet's voice was barely a whisper. She wanted to sink into the cheap material of the seat and disappear. No matter what happened, she could not change her mother's views. Her mother was stubborn.

"You are a big disappointment Garnet."

Garnet got out of the car. She didn't even look back as she heard her mother's car pull away. That was it. One part of her life was over and a new one was beginning. As Garnet entered the train station, she didn't fully process what was happening. Her mind was clouded with so much worry and concern that she could barely think straight. Garnet sat in one of the small plastic chairs waiting for boarding to begin. She imagined her mother driving to work and gossiping with her coworkers about how she had finally gotten rid of her daughter. She imagined how happy Jerry would be, finally being able to enjoy his wife. Garnet didn't want to imagine anything more about her mother and stepfather.

Garnet wondered what was happening with David. Other then one accidental meeting at the library, they had not seen each other since that day in April when she had told him she was pregnant. He had moved on, of course. He was dating some blonde girl who was a few years older then he. She was a research assistant or something. Garnet hadn't really been paying attention when David was rattling on and on. All she cared about was that he didn't even look at her the same way. It was as if she was diseased. He was probably very relieved that she was moving to Vermont. Soon Garnet would be forgotten. The small town forgot its history very quickly, and soon another drama would unfold and someone else would be the talk of the town.

Garnet glanced out the window of the train. The train had left on schedule and Garnet was giddy with excitement. She had never been on a train before. The seats were a little uncomfortable, but her awkward size was partly to blame. She found where the washroom was since usually one of the two babies would be kicking her bladder. Being pregnant was not fun at all, and Garnet wondered how it was possible for women to enjoy this. She was sore all the time and hated how her body looked. Garnet had never really noticed how her body looked. She wasn't overly stunning but wasn't ugly. Now that she was pregnant, she noticed every little stretch mark.

As she looked out the window, the landscape rushed past and soon she was nauseated from the movement. She placed her bag on the seat next to her, on top of the black winter jacket that she had found at a used clothing store. She had never been past South Carolina, and was unsure of how she would feel being in a cold environment. It was December, and she wasn't going to lie about how much she enjoyed the Georgia weather.

"Can I sit here?" Garnet looked up and young woman standing in front of her. She looked to be about thirty and had blonde hair and brown eyes.

"Yes, of course." Garnet watched as the woman sat in the seat across from her and placed her leather bag and purse on the seat next to her. Once settled in to the uncomfortable seat she smiled.

"I'm not sure if you want to talk. It's going to be a very long ride to Washington D.C. You can just tell me to shut up if you want."

"No it's o.k. I know it's going to be a long ride. I'm actually heading to Vermont. It's going take me almost two days to get there, but I can't fly."

"That's a very long trip. So when are you due?" The woman glanced at Garnet's swollen belly. It was obvious that she was pregnant and the fact that she was taking a train and a bus meant there was a good reason she wasn't flying. The woman was smiling now and tapping her perfectly manicured fingers on the armrest of her seat.

"January 11th, my 19th birthday. I doubt I'll make it to Christmas, though. I'm pregnant with twins."

"Wow. I'm Katie, by the way." The woman reached her hand out and shook Garnet's hand firmly. "I'm heading back home to Washington D.C. I was in Georgia visiting an old friend."

"I'm Garnet."

"That's a very pretty name. You must be very brave and strong. Not many women would be so willing to do what you are doing."

"What am I doing?" Garnet didn't mean to sound rude but she was very confused by this stranger's words. Was it that obvious what she was doing? Garnet had a sinking feeling in her stomach. This woman looked familiar but she couldn't quite place her.

"You're choosing to put the babies up for adoption. I mean I'm assuming that is what you're doing. There aren't many reasons why a pregnant woman of your age would be traveling almost across the country when you're almost ready to give birth."

Garnet was shocked at how direct Katie spoke. She wasn't used to this. She was used to her mother being rude and opinionated, but Katie was different. "I'm going to live with a woman named Denise. She takes in pregnant teenagers. I'm going to give birth there."

"That sounds wonderful. Things will get better for you, Garnet. You know that right?" Katie's voice was soft and she reached over and patted her belly. Garnet had read about how when a woman is pregnant people, other mothers especially, believe it acceptable to touch and rub a woman's belly. No one had touched her the whole time she was pregnant. She had wondered how it would feel and now she was experiencing it.

The two women smiled at each other, and Katie noticed how relaxed Garnet became. She had watched the young pregnant woman get on the train and was curious about her situation. She looked so depressed and unhappy. She was relieved that she found the red-haired beauty alone and was able to sit and chat. She would never admit why she wanted to chat with this young woman. She had forgotten that part of her life almost fifteen years ago but every once in a while; she had the urge to help someone in a similar situation. Fifteen years ago, it had not been easy for Katie but she had moved on with her life. She wanted nothing more then to make Garnet understand that this was not the end of the world and that there was hope. She knew Garnet only saw her hopeless, desperate situation, but maybe she would remember this train ride.

For the rest of the train ride the two women chatted like old friends and Garnet was grateful when the food cart came around and Katie offered to buy her dinner. The view from the windows had changed drastically. No longer were there green trees, lush grass, and vegetation. The ground was covered in snow and the trees were bare. Garnet didn't want to look outside because she didn't want to think about what she was leaving behind. She was scared to death of meeting Denise and even more scared of what was going to happen in a few weeks. Giving birth to two babies was scaring the hell out of her.

Garnet got up once the train stopped and she was startled when Katie hugged her tight in the train station.

"Everything will be alright. This is the beginning, not the end."