George's Punishment

Maya's hands are trembling as she parks her car on the pub car park. She steadies her hands on the steering wheel and draws a few shaky breaths trying to settle her nerves. "It's just him, it's just him. Why am I so terrified?" She asks herself out loud. "I'm so nervous, I'll never be able to eat. Why did I agree to lunch?"

She pulls down the sun visor and looks at her face in the mirror, mentally repeating "Get yourself together, get yourself together". Un-clipping the seat belt and pulling her handbag from the passenger seat, she finds her lipgloss. She returns her attention to the mirror, resolving to be calm as she adds the pink gloss to her lips and runs her fingers through her dark wavy hair, rearranging her fringe a little until she's satisfied that she doesn't look as stressed as she feels. She puts the gloss back in the bag and her attention is drawn to the silver car pulling into the car park. He's here. She watches in the rear view as the car is parked up and the driver's door opens. She's tempted to stay still so she can observe him but forces herself to open her own door and step out of the car. She tries her best not to look at him, determined to appear nonchalant. As she's gathering her handbag and coat, she hears him closing his door and the jangle of keys as they're shoved in his pocket before she feels his eyes are on her. Maya turns to face him, unsure of the welcome she's expecting.

The break up had been a messy one. What started as a standard date night- dinner, drinks and back to her house for sex, had turned into rougher sex than ever before and a huge row. She'd never seen him so angry and he said some really hurtful things, they both did. She hadn't heard from him in almost six months until he text her last week asking her to agree to meet him for lunch. She was annoyed that he had chosen to text rather than call her at first but then reasoned it had given her time to think and compose her responses carefully. She's still angry with him for ignoring her messages and calls in those first few weeks before she gave up on him answering. Part of her agreed to meet him for the opportunity to vent that anger but mostly she's intrigued to hear what he's got to say for himself and to see if the electric connection between them is still there.

Before she has time to really think about moving, George is walking towards her wearing a casual shirt with the sleeves rolled up exposing his forearms, despite the icy Winter weather. He looks a little unsure of how he will be received too and but instinctively Maya drops her things back into the car seat and steps into his open arms. George squeezes her against his solid chest, his arms wrapping around her waist. Maya takes a deep breath, relaxing into his body, closing her eyes, absorbing his heat and the familiar scent of his aftershave. She remembers how good this always felt before, how safe and protected he always made her feel and isn't surprised to feel a sense of that again. He releases his hold slightly and goes to speak.

"Maya, I..."

"Shhh" she rushes back at him, the sound of his low voice against her ear makes her knees a little weak as always. It's too much. "just shhh".

George does as he's told allowing them both a moment to enjoy her being in his arms again. It's a few moments before Maya realises how odd they must look just clinging to each other on the car park and her calves are starting to ache. Their height difference means standing on tip toes for her to reach her arms around his neck like this. Finally she steps back, running her hands over his broad shoulders and down his arms until her hands are holding his.

"Hi?" He ventures, his eyes full of trepidation despite his cheeky grin and he gives her hands a gentle squeeze.

"Hi" Maya smiles hard, trying to control the tears threatening in her eyes and inwardly cursing herself for letting it show.

***

This pub had been Maya's choice, one of her favourites for its traditional beams, and riverside location. The perfect place for a private conversation away from the city where they both live. Maya chooses a table by a fireplace, it's freezing outside and she dressed for seeing George rather than for the weather.

As she waits for him to return from the bar with their drinks she watches his easy manner while he laughs with the barman. Outwardly he appears relaxed, perhaps only she would notice the tell tale tightness in his jaw. He's nervous too. That makes her feel slightly better but the swell of mixed emotions is making her brain fuzzy. On the one hand, here he is, the man she's been not so secretly longing to see and have back in her life over the last few months. On the other, she's angry for how he left her and is full of questions about what happened and why he's got in touch now, just as she was starting to get over him. She notices that as he turns, he visibly squares his shoulders before carrying the drinks over to the table and taking his seat opposite her.

As they glance over the menus and order their food from the waitress and George starts the conversation by asking Maya how she's been and how shes getting on in her job. He tells her about his latest skiing trip, (a corporate perk) and the improvements he has been making on his house, talking quickly and full with detail. Maya's responses are succinct, rather than chatty and despite her best efforts finds herself distracted. As he talks, she finds her eyes scanning over his stubbly jaw and his full lips rather than looking him in the eye. Had she really forgotten how attractive he is? Did he get better looking since she last saw him?

His hands are playing with the beer mat on the table, he's twitchy, never still. It's unusual for her to see George looking uncomfortable as he's always been so sure of himself and sure of her desire for him. She had always been so responsive to him and had met his sexual needs without question during their relationship. In their few months together he had uncovered the submissive in her with his naturally dominant personality, in the bedroom particularly where he had introduced her to bondage, role play and pain as pleasure. Part of her is almost enjoying seeing him so agitated and nervous and feels like she might have the upper hand for once, if she can stop herself from drooling when her eyes catch the flexing of his forearms each time he lifts his pint glass to his mouth. He looks vulnerable: softer than the man she knows and already her anger at him seems less potent.

When lunch arrives Maya is surprised to find her appetite has returned. George watches as she starts eating enthusiastically until she notices him watching her.

"What are you smiling at?" She asks, embarrassed to realise that he hasn't touched his plate yet and she's several mouthfuls in.

"Somethings haven't changed, hey?"

Maya feels her cheeks colour.

"I have a healthy appetite, what's your point?" She laughs for the first time and they both relax a little.

"You go ahead, it's clearly not doing you any harm" he says overtly running his eyes over her body. "You look amazing. I probably should've said that earlier but you know I always think you look amazing right?"

"Always?" She frowns in disbelief.

"Absolutely always."

Maya does her best to hide that his words have made the butterflies inside her start leaping around by taking another mouthful of her pasta and making appreciative "mmm" noises.

George starts eating too and there're a few moments awkward silence before he clears his throat.

"Thank you for coming" he says "I know I don't deserve it after how I treated you. I made a horrible mistake that night and instead of dealing with it I walked away. You deserve so much more."

Its clear to Maya from his delivery that he has practised what to say and imagining him repeating his lines to himself, makes her smile. It's kinda cute and she's intrigued what else he wants to tell her.

"Carry on. What mistake?".

"I hurt you Maya, I got carried away."

He glances around and lowers his voice, aware of the waitress nearby.

"When I was spanking your ass that night, it was so red and hot under my palm, more than the other times. I'm not sure what happened but I lost control and saw an opportunity to do something I'd been fantasising about. When I threw you on your back and saw your face, you looked like you were enjoying it. Your nipples were bullet hard and so obviously desperate for attention I should've slowed down. I should've licked you until you came. I should've worshipped you like you deserved. I should've calmed down, for you. I didn't do that. I put my hand round your throat and fucked you so hard. I saw those marks I made on your neck, I heard you crying out with pain and it turned me on more and I just fucked you harder."

Maya isn't sure what exactly his mistake was so far. Yes the sex had been rougher than usual and no they'd never talked about him putting his hands around her throat before. She had been shocked as his force and it was painful but this is the reason he left her?

His eyes are pleading and he takes her hand in his, over the table.

"Do you understand what I'm saying Maya?"

"Not really, it didn't hurt that much."

she says honestly.

"I'm saying that I lost control and in that moment I really wanted to hurt you. I know that a bit of pain was always our thing, my thing. But when someone trusts you like you did you can't abuse that, I had to stay in control for you and I failed. I didn't feel like you were safe with me that night, I was ashamed of myself so I flipped. I wasn't really jealous of you flirting with that waiter but I needed the argument. I needed you to be angry with me. I needed an excuse to get away."

Maya's hands are trembling again. She knows she needs to respond but has no idea what to say. She tells him she doesn't understand it. How could he ever want to really hurt her? And George struggles to explain it. He tells her that he loves her and that until that night he'd never wanted to hurt her like that, only ever enough for her sexual pleasure as well as his own. He can't say why that night was different but tells her that he's confident it could never happen again. When she asks how he can be sure of that, he shocks her more by telling her that he's been seeing a therapist for the last few months and has worked through a lot of issues, some that he hadn't realised existed. Maya is doing her best to be understanding but the conversation is making her feel uncomfortable and confused and she needs some time to process it all.

"I need the bathroom" she says, standing up and releasing her hand from his. "I won't be long."

***

"I don't know what to say" she tells him when she's back at the table. "Are you telling me you want to get back together?"

"I'm asking you to forgive me Maya. I'm truly so sorry for what I did. I'm sorry I freaked out. I'm so sorry I didn't explain all this at the time and I didn't return your calls. I'm also asking you to do something for me."

Maya's dubious expression gives her away "do something?"

As they finish lunch and have another drink, George tells her that his therapist has recommended that he allow himself to be 'punished' by her so as to atone for his actions. Maya looks worried and pushes him to explain exactly what punishment he means. He says that the choice would be hers as he would be submitting to her for once. He would let her use any of his paddles or whips she chose or he would pay for something new. She wouldn't have to have sex with him, although he hoped that eventually they might get back together.

Maya doesn't like the idea of hurting him and questions whether she would even know how to do it right, having only ever been on the receiving end of George's toys, but she does want to help him. His suffering is obvious to her and she hates that he has been so unhappy as to seek counselling over this. He reassures her that its what he wants and needs and as ever, Maya finds it impossible to say no to him. Each time their eyes meet, she sees both his genuine affection and desire for her and his guilt and anxiety.

"Ok" she says, eventually. "I'll do it."

***

Two days later, Maya is preparing to meet with George again. She's thought about nothing else since she left him with a hug and tentative kiss on the lips at the pub. She has been doing some research online about how to hold and use the toys he has, reading how a small mistake could really hurt him almost put her off completely but she's convinced now she's doing the right thing for him. She has told her closest friend the basics about her lunch with him and their plans for this evening. Her friend laughed at the idea and had been sending Maya texts with links to BDSM porn sites all day along with 'helpful' words of encouragement. Although a bit annoyed at first, Maya soon saw the funny side and has relished the lighthearted distraction. Her nerves have been increasing all day and now she is home and getting ready to go she's feeling shaky and full of butterflies all over again.

She wasn't sure at first what she should wear. George said this wasn't about having sex so she doesn't want to wear any of the black fetish style outfits she had bought during their increasingly kinky relationship but equally this isn't your average date night.

She bathes, moisturises from head to toe (just in case), applies her make up and pulls her long dark hair into a high ponytail before slipping into a new set of underwear (red lace) and a simple figure hugging black dress and heels. She assesses herself in the full length mirror in the hallway hoping that she has judged her outfit correctly, takes a deep breath and leaves to drive to George's house.

George's silhouette fills his doorway as Maya steps out of her car on his driveway and walks towards the house. He's wearing a black t shirt and his jeans are slung low around his waist. Barefoot and despite her heels, he still has to bend some way when he kisses her lightly on the lips welcoming her into his house and taking her coat from her.

Maya is ushered into the lounge while George goes to the kitchen promising to return with a drink for her. She takes a seat on one of the two large sofas, happy to be sitting down as her nerves are making her legs feel shaky and unstable standing in her heels. She takes in her surroundings, there is music playing and the room is freshly decorated as George had described to her, and tries to ignore the tremble still present in her knees.

"So what do you think?" He asks, entering the room and handing her a glass of white wine.

Maya stutters, "I erm..."

"About the decorating" he clarifies, smiling.

"Oh, yeah, erm... it's really lovely George. Sorry, I'm a bit nervous about all this."

He tells her he understands, he's nervous too and if she's really not comfortable she doesn't have to go through with it. Maya protests, she's wants to do it for him. She just needs to relax a bit before they get started. George takes a seat next to her on the sofa and puts his hand on her knee.

"You might even enjoy it"

He give her his trademark cheeky grin and Maya feels a familiar stiring and a twinge of excitement on top of her existing nervous butterflies.

He leaves his hand where it is on her knee as they make small talk, it's a small gesture but it's reassuring for her. She recalls his need for physical contact during their relationship- he'd always be touching her in some small, protective, possibly possessive way, especially when they were out socialising.

Eventually George places his empty glass back on the coffee table and takes Maya's almost empty glass from her hand too.

"Are you ready now?"

He asks, standing up and holding out his hand for her to take.

There's a bit of her that wants things to be back to normal. She wishes she felt more at home, like she used to here and they could relax; have sex, eat ice cream and watch dvds together. Instead, she's wobbly and nervous still, but agrees with a confidence and casualness she doesn't have.

"Yep, of course!"

***

George leads Maya by the hand up the stairs. Instead of taking her to his bedroom he pauses at the door of his spare room, a room previously used as a study and general junk room as far as Maya had ever seen it.

George opens the door and turns on the low lighting to reveal the freshly decorated room, still smelling slightly of paint. Maya sees the large space is virtually empty, just a black gym bench at the far end. The room is painted white with a few black framed, abstract monochrome pictures on the walls. She looks at George who is already watching her waiting for her reaction.

"It's great! Home gym."

"Not quite" George laughs a little. "Try again."

Maya steps into the room, looking around more carefully, leaving George in the doorway. On second inspection she sees that the wide black leather gym bench doesn't really look like the ones in her gym. She studies the pictures on the wall, they're actually photographs of various parts of a woman's body in close up. The naked curve of a waist and hip, an ankle in a stiletto heeled shoe and an ample breast with a protruding stiff nipple, clamped in a clothes peg and a heavily made up eye with false fluttery lashes. Her mouth drops open as realisation hits her, these are pictures of her body, cropped from other photos George took of her months ago and bench is not gym equipment.

"Playroom" she says so quietly it's almost a whisper. "In here?"

"Yes, in here please." He hesitates slightly "It's not exactly Mr Grey's red room of pain, I'm thinking of putting some other stuff in here though eventually. What do you think?"

Maya nods her agreement and manages a shy smile, embarrassed by the photos of her naked body on the walls. She doesn't know why though really given that George has seen, touched and licked every square inch on her many times over. This feels different from sharing sexy selfies, these are framed professional looking photographs on display.

"Nobody else will see them" he assures her as if reading her thoughts.

George closes the door gently behind him and steps towards her. Maya notices the hooks behind the door where various toys are hanging in neat size order. She counts paddles, a flogger, a whip and a riding crop. She's seen them before but individually, never as a collection and the sight is a little shocking. Maya feels an electric like jolt as her nipples stiffen and her pussy tingles at the flashing of memories racing into her mind. The nights when she's encountered these toys before were some of the most erotic and explosive she and George have shared. Below them is a small shelf holding a shoe boxed sized basket with a lid like a little picnic hamper. George stands firmly in front of her, obscuring her view and places both of his hands on her shoulders.

"It's not too late, if you've changed your mind. I'll understand I promise."

But Maya has no intention of backing out now she has come this far and tells him so, trying to sound more confident than she feels.

"How do we start?"

She asks, sounding businesslike.

Without answering her but maintaining eye contact, George takes his hands from her shoulders and pulls up the hem of his tshirt to take it off. Maya tries hard not to look at his body as each inch of his stomach, chest and muscly shoulders is exposed. The sight of his body has always turned her on without him needing to touch her and she tells herself repeatedly

"Concentrate. Not about sex. Don't get turned on. Not about sex".

He asks Maya's permission to remove the rest of his clothes and without knowing what else to say she agrees and stands, frozen still as he undresses, throwing his clothes in a heap on the floor.

Once fully naked he stills, locking her eyes with his and nods slowly, giving her an unspoken go ahead to take control.