Gettin' Any Dirt For Your Worm?

"Do you see it?" she asked, in a small, pitiful voice.

"Nothing so far," Porter intoned, his fingers still exploring her special place. "I'm going to try to suck it out."

"Oh my God!" she squealed as his mouth settled onto the wetness of her womanhood. Instinctively, she reached for his head, knocking his hat off. "Can you take it easy?" she begged. "I'm kind of sensitive down there."

"Sure Hon," he said, looking up at her, his mustache already dripping with her juice. She tried to relax while he toiled thanklessly between her legs, but she found herself getting tenser by the minute, twitching her hips and flexing her pee muscles. "You're doing great," he said, his muffled voice eerie and far away.

"Is it coming out?" she whimpered.

"Not yet," he sighed. He sat up and flung her legs clear up to her chest. "We're going to have to see if we can squeeze it out."

"Oh no! Will it hurt?"

"No worries, Doll. In fact, if you're lucky, it might feel really good." Sliding his fingers gently across her puffy lips, she had to admit that, at least for the time being, it did, indeed feel really good. "I'm going to start by putting some pressure here," he said, sliding two fingers into her dripping opening. She felt a dull ache inside her womanhood, directly beneath her hairy mound. "Is that okay?" he asked, grinning reassuringly.

"Oh!" she yelped, suddenly feeling a faint urge to pee. "Yes... that's okay."

"And here?" he asked, as a slimy finger slithered into place at the top of her slit.

"Ohhhh?" she moaned, closing her eyes. The feeling was quite intoxicating, which was surprising for a medical procedure, and she wondered if perhaps her lightheadedness was being caused by the centipede injecting his deadly venom into her. With a ragged sigh she closed her eyes. Her head spinning now, her body craving release, she prayed to her Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ that He would expel the devil centipede from the holy temple of her body.

As soon as she had whispered her silent "amen" she felt it, like a wave building out on the ocean, except that the wave was emanating from inside her. Could it be a sign from God? She let out an involuntary whimper as the wave rolled closer to shore.

"Porter?" she moaned, "I think I'm going to pee myself."

"It's okay Beth. That's exactly what we're trying to do. When you pee, it will expel the beast from inside you, so just go with it."

"Oh my God Porter!" she moaned, feeling like she was going to start crying, "I'm going with it, but if feels like I'm going to explode!" Her head started thrashing, her body started quivering, and suddenly, the Lord Jesus was at her side, His hands gently caressing her face and pinching her stiff nipples. (Actually, it was Beth who was pinching her stiff nipples, but, because of her strict Christian upbringing, she just assumed it was Jesus doing it.) "Yes!" she yelped, bucking her hips in the air. "Yes!"

It seemed to take forever, waiting those last few seconds for the wave to break. Finally, it hit, crashing to the shore with such force that a giant spray of liquid shot from between her legs like a geyser.

"Oh my God!" she warbled, more like an injured dog than a prim and proper Christian girl.

"There you go," Porter said softly as her body flipped and flopped like a fish on the dock. With his fingers still working her from both the inside and the outside, Beth felt as if the wave of release would never end. Gasping for breath, alternating between ragged sobs and pitiful whimpers, she allowed the wave to pass over her till it finally settled into a sort of bubbling pool. Every couple of seconds it would percolate, causing her to crunch her stomach and gasp uncontrollably.

Finally opening here eyes, she caught site of Porter flinging something into the bushes. "Did you get the centipede?" she asked, the relief running out of her like the little stream of juice running down into the crack of her ass.

"We sure did," Porter said proudly, caressing her sweaty thigh. "You're a real trooper, you know that?"

"Me and Jesus," she said, propping herself up on her elbows again so she could admire her glorious and brave cowboy.

"Are you okay now," Porter asked, checking out her splayed out tits.

"Give me a minute," she sighed, staring into his Montana sky-blue eyes. She needed a moment so she could thank the Lord for bringing her this amazing, Jesus-like man. And the best part? He was obviously a man who wouldn't take advantage of her. He was a man with integrity. And principals. How could she have ever doubted this man's intentions?

Slowly easing up to a sitting position, she gave a nudge to her matted mound, which elicited yet another spasm from down below. That's when she noticed the rich smell emanating from between her legs - sort of a combination of butterscotch and salmon. "Are you hungry?" she asked, surprising herself with her candor. 
"Starved," he said, reaching behind him for the granny panties she'd abandoned on the grass. Without a word, he slid them over her left ankle, and then the other. Gently, with the touch of an angel, he slid them up her thighs until she could reach them.

"Thanks," she said, suddenly feeling foolish and shy. But she had no reason to feel shy in front of Porter. After all, she'd been naked in front of strange men before - the counselors at Christian summer camp spying on the woman's showers came to mind. At least this time it wasn't the sin of lust that motivated a strange man to ogle her naked body, it was just a medical procedure - a medical procedure that had been facilitated by Jesus himself.

"I'll let you get dressed," Porter said, tearing his eyes off her and gathering her clothes scattered about the clearing. After shaking out her shorts and shirt, he handed them to her, and she gave him back the blue plaid flannel shirt she had been lying on. She was going to apologize for getting his shirt all wet, but when she saw Porter wiping his face with it, she realized he probably didn't care.

Letting out a long sigh, she couldn't help but wonder what would become of this newfound friendship. She really liked Porter, but would she actually go out on a date with him? If she did, would she have to learn how to two-step? And what if he wanted to kiss her goodnight? Would she kiss a man on the first date?

Of course not! She would make him wait - at least till the third date. But even then, it would just be one little kiss. None of that making out stuff the teenagers do. No, Beth was an old fashioned girl, and she would make Porter court her the old fashioned way.

No longer naked, she struggled to her feet, and then almost fainted.

"Careful Beth," Porter said, grabbing her around the waist. His touch was firm, reassuring, and she had the sudden urge to melt into his arms, but she resisted, because she was an old fashioned girl.

"Thanks," she said, steadying herself. It was as if her legs were made of rubber, and her body was jello. With his arm still around her waist, Porter guided her towards the trail.

"I've got some tortillas and beans up at the house," he said, "and I think there's an avocado if you want fresh guacamole."

"I love guacamole," she squealed, feeling surprisingly frisky after having just survived a near death experience.

As they strolled hand in hand back up the trail, the sense of peace she was experiencing was like nothing she had ever known. It was better than prayer, it was better than ice cream, it was certainly better than sitting around Williamson West, listening to some old gray-haired professor talking about sub-species and flora and fauna. Yes, this handsome cowboy definitely did have wisdom and knowledge to impart to her. The fact that there were no worms involved was no longer a concern. Her only concern was how long she'd have to wait before seeing Porter again.

"Beth?" he asked, stopping them in their tracks.
 "Yes?"

"I'm going to be honest with you. I'd like to take you out to dinner sometime. Would you be up for that?"

"Maybe," she said, trying to be coy, "but I don't kiss on the first date."

"Fine by me," Porter said, squeezing her hand tighter. "I'm an old fashioned kind of guy. I like to get to know someone before, you know, taking it to the next level."

"My feelings exactly," she said, a tear of joy welling up in her eye. Then she remembered the spider bite. "Did we get all the poison out... of... you know?"

Porter looked over at her and grinned. "How about we check after lunch?"

"Sure," she said, pulling him closer and resting her head on his shoulder.

Beth did wait for the third date before allowing Porter that first kiss. Six weeks later they were in Vegas, getting married. Ten months after that, she and Porter had the first of three kids. At this very moment, Porter is finishing the addition onto the house, complete with a greenhouse and a worm-filled vegetable garden.

Porter never did tell Beth the true meaning of the phrase "gettin' any dirt for your worm?" but it's a good bet he's getting plenty of dirt for his worm these days, much of it the soaking wet variety.