Getting Back Up on that Horse

I nodded, turning to face him. "I can see that." Then, with an impish smile, I added, "It's pretty hot, actually..."

"Really...?" he grinned, taking the glass I was holding from me and setting it on the counter. "I think you're pretty hot..."

"Really..." I replied, not believing him, even as he backed me into the counter.

"Hell yes," he traced a finger across my jawbone and down my neck to my cleavage, "On fire..."

My breath caught as he traced the swell of one breast until it disappeared into my shirt – then he traced the other one back out. "You starting something with me?"

He nibbled my earlobe and sucked it into his mouth at the same time as he palmed one of my breasts, "What do you think?"

I gasped, and involuntarily arched against his hand, "Ummm...okay..."

"Wanna come to my room with me? Mess around a bit?"

I knew that he was not actually asking me to sleep with him - that in all likelihood, he just wanted to eliminate the possibility of Alex waking up and walking in on a scene that might upset him. I remembered what it was like to have small children. But I paused, nevertheless, and considered for a few moments. This was all so new...

"Yes..." I replied finally.

"You sure?" he wanted to know. "No pressure. You can slap me if I get out of line..."

I laughed, "Okay..."

Joe's bedroom was like the rest of his house: well put together. As he dimmed the lighting and locked the door, I wondered vaguely how long he'd been really been back, because his house looked like he'd never left. "Nice duvet," was all I allowed myself to say, as I settled into the thick comforter.

He didn't kiss me at first, just held me close in his arms and talked to me. "You know, Evie, you make a damn good apple pie..."

I laughed, "Thanks. Years of practice..."

"And you're a really nice person, you know? I mean, I've dated a lot of women over the years, and no one has ever been as kind as you are..."

Shrugging off the compliment, I said, "Maybe that's because you've been dating skinny bitches..."

Joe laughed, "Maybe that's the problem! Although I will also say that I've never dated anyone who kisses as good as you do either..."

That made me feel good, whether it was true or not. "Beautiful bitches are probably too worried about messing up their lipstick to kiss well," I fabricated.

"Huh..." he replied. "I'm starting to think the operative word here is 'bitches'. Time to date a nice girl... not necessarily a good girl, but a nice one..."

I flushed, "You don't think I'm a good girl?"

"I hope not..." he replied, rolling me beneath him on the mattress.

*****

Tom and I had been on different pages when it came to sex. I had been a virgin when we met our freshman year of college, and never knew what I was missing until I experienced it. And then, there was no turning back. We were in love, in lust, and we married right after our sophomore year. With nothing to compare it to, I always thought Tom was pretty good in bed, and the only complaint I had was that the frequency could have been greater. It wasn't long before I learned that he didn't like me to initiate sex, didn't like me to express pleasure vocally, and didn't even like my breasts. The word "vulgar" comes to mind, but maybe that was just his impression of me in general.

With that history in the back of my head, it was a balm to me to hear Joe encourage me to embrace my naughty side. He was tempting me. With his hips pressed against mine, and his words arousing me, he was waiting for me to make the first real move. My fingers reached up to caress the 5-o'clock shadow on his cheek, and I smiled. "You are a bad influence on me..."

"Maybe that's what you need..." he grinned.

I traced over his lips gently, "It seems that way..."

"I think you need to kiss me..."

"Do you now?" I tried not to smile.

"Yes..." his eyes drifted down to my mouth, "You have crazy, sexy lips, baby..."

"Really..." I murmured, sliding my fingers around the back of his neck to pull his mouth down on mine. His lips were the ones with real skill, and as our tongues tangled and our hands wandered, my fears dissipated and it was just us... Joe encouraged me to open to him, to explore and play until I was hot and breathless. My nipples were tight and aching and I wanted nothing less than everything...

Joe rolled onto his back, taking me with him, and I sat up, gasping for air as my knees met the mattress on either side of his hips. Heat was blazing in his eyes as his hands slid up my thighs to my hips and settled me firmly against his erection. "You are so beautiful, Evie."

God, that felt good! I shifted against him – which felt even better – and my mind started down a path I hadn't explored in a long time.

He flipped the hem of my blouse, and in a rough voice told me to take it off. Without thinking, I complied, slipping it over my head in one smooth motion. It was a risk. I was not as confident about my body as I had been in my youth, but Joe was hardly a critical audience. His eyes glazed at the sight of my breasts encased in a shell-pink bra with scalloped lace across the décolleté. "Damn girl..."

And then he pulled me down beside him and kissed me again, deeply, his hands exploring the pink silk, his thumbs teasing and provoking the taut peaks that begged for his attention.

I wanted this...I wanted him... He lifted his mouth from mine and looked into my eyes. He didn't say anything, just held my gaze as he slipped one bra strap from my shoulder and slid his hand inside the cup to fondle me. My eyes fluttered closed and I struggled to suppress a moan. Then his hand was replaced by his mouth and I whimpered.

I should have known by the way he kissed that Joe knew his way around a woman. And when his tongue swiped over the tip of my breast, my womb contracted and I arched against his mouth, wanting him to somehow take more of me. Pleasure more of me. He licked and squeezed, swirled and suckled until my fingers were firmly entwined in his hair and my moans filled the room. When he finally raised his head, his eyes were dark, "Goddamn, you're hot Evie!" and then he went to work on the other breast.

I must admit that I loved the early years with Tom, when he was enamored with my breasts and paid lavish attention to them. I'd always felt they were the only sexy thing about me, and when he stopped appreciating them, I thought I'd lost all sex appeal.

But Joe...oh God, Joe was making me rethink all of that...

His lips trailed downwards, across my belly, and he had to know that we were done playing games. Done being teenagers, wondering how far we should go. He didn't ask permission to undo my pants and shuck them off...he knew I wanted that. Knew I wanted his hand against me, and more.

But he didn't give me what I wanted right away. He let me pull his shirt off over his head, let me press my naked breasts against the warmth of his chest, let me kiss him with the fervor and desire that had been pent up for months. The kind of kisses that only lead one place. And then he was done letting me dictate things. Sitting back on his heels, taking in my flushed skin, he stripped my lacy panties from me.

"Fuck..." was all he could say, his fingers trailing up my inner thigh to stroke me intimately.

My breathing was shallow as he played lightly, then stopped altogether when he lowered his head to me. Sliding his hands beneath me, he raised me to his lips and he supped...and licked...and nibbled...and sucked, until I was about to start weeping. Then lifting his mouth from me, he slid one finger into my sheathe. "Baby...you are so tight...so hot...so wet...beautiful..."

A second finger joined the first and he started to fuck me with them as he tongued my clit mercilessly. The pleasure was so intense, I could barely breathe, and my hips rocked wildly against his mouth as I sought and crested the pinnacle. Sweet Jesus, that man was good!

Finally, I had to push his head away from me, unable to take any more. "Please, Joe..."

He raised himself up, and kissed me, letting me taste myself on his lips. "Did you like that?" he teased with a twinkle in his eye.

"A little..." I managed to reply breathlessly.

"Can I do anything else for you?" he teased, his hand running over my hip to squeeze my ass.

"I think so..." I murmured, onto his game. "But you're going to have to take your clothes off..."

"Mmm...sounds promising..." and he was already up off the bed.

If my eyes had been open, I'd have seen him strip down, have seen him rummage in his nightstand for a condom, and I'd have been somewhat prepared. Instead, I didn't look up until I felt him settle between my thighs. His eyes were on mine as he pressed into me.

I gasped in shock and then...couldn't...fucking...breathe... Joe looked slightly apologetic and tried to smile reassuringly. "Just relax baby...give it a moment..."

He lowered his chest to mine, kissing my jaw and murmuring seductively in my ear, "That's it, Evie, open your sweet pussy to me..."

His words aroused me and I did...I relaxed, I opened; I let him ease into me until he was fully seated. He didn't move then, just throbbed inside of me, his eyes closed. "God, Evie, you're fucking amazing..."

I didn't reply. I wasn't so sure if he was amazing...that remained to be seen. I was not at all confident that his cock was not going to tear me apart.

But then he started to move. Slowly at first, my earlier arousal allowing him to slide in and out easily. Then, when I started to pant with desire, he upped the ante, putting a little more force behind each thrust. And I began to want again. I wanted more...I wanted the sweet pain that each thrust brought. Wanted it harder, deeper. And asked for it...begged for it...until Joe gave me everything I asked for. The pleasure built and built, exploding over me with exquisite agony, allowing Joe to seek the same.

I would have told him...would have said he was 'fucking amazing' too, if I could have spoken. But I couldn't. All I could do was gasp for breath when he collapsed on top of me. My head ached intensely, as it sometimes did after a powerful orgasm, and I pressed one hand to my forehead and tried to slow my breathing, slow my heart rate, and decrease the speed with which the blood was flowing through my body.

"You okay baby?" he asked, shifting off me finally.

"Yeah... just gimme a minute..."

I felt him leave the bed, heard water running, then felt him rejoin me a few minutes later. This time, he gathered me close and kissed me just below my ear, "You're incredible, Evie. You know that?"

My headache was subsiding, "I could say the same. You're...uh...a little larger than average, I think..."

His voice was teasing, "Haven't you ever heard that size doesn't matter, that it's technique?"

I nestled my head into the crook of his neck and let my hand come to rest on his chest, "Well, I'm definitely a fan of your technique..."

His lips met mine tenderly, "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"For a while..." I promised. "I don't think I should be here when Alex wakes up."

He didn't disagree with me. "Okay..."

Sleep was about to claim me and I murmured, "Do you still like me?"

"Hmmm..." he stroked a thumb across my cheek and trailed his fingers down my neck. "Pretty sure..."

I smiled then, and allowed myself to drift off.

*****

I awoke in the week hours of the morning to the warm sensation of Joe's lips on my neck and shoulders. He'd been spooning me, but now those hands had begun to take liberties. If I'd been prudish, I'd have been mortified to notice that my nipples were already hard from his wicked fingers, and that my legs needed no encouragement to fall open for his questing hand.

I was sleepy, but enjoying the attentions, and I pressed my bottom back against his crotch and asked provocatively, "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting ready to fuck you, Evie..." he growled in my ear as his fingertip circled my clit. "Would you like that?"

I gasped, his words as arousing as his hands, "Uh huh..."

"Your pussy is so wet...and your ass is so soft...I'm going to do you just like this, okay?"

And then he tilted my hips slightly and his big, thick cock slid easily into me. He held me close...he kissed my neck, my ear, bit my shoulder gently as he moved in and out of me. His fingers still played, gently at first, then progressively rougher as his thrusts became quicker and harder.

I didn't think I would come. Yes, I was enjoying it, but I didn't think I was going to, until the waves washed over me. And moments later, spurred on by my contractions, I felt my womb flood with his seed.

And suddenly I panicked. No condom! I was sure he hadn't planned that. He had just woken up horny and wanted to fuck what was next to him, and I hadn't been thinking yet, I was too sleepy.

Joe sensed the change in me. Felt my limbs stiffen.

"What's wrong baby?"

"We didn't use a condom..."

He tried to hug me close, but I would have none of it. "I'm clean, Evie, I swear."

"It's not that, Joe. What if I get pregnant?"

He breathed out slowly and was silent for a moment, "Is that a possibility?"

"Yes..." and I leapt out of the bed and made for the bathroom.

I didn't know what to do. I sat on the commode and hoped it would just drip out of me. Some did. I'd read that douching didn't work, so I mentally eliminated that option. Instead, I prayed that God would be benevolent. I didn't really believe too deeply in God, however, so I didn't have much confidence that it would work.

As I was running a hot bath, I heard Joe knock on the door. I had slipped on the bathrobe that was hanging from a hook, and I opened it to admit him. His face looked gray. "I'm sorry, Evie..."

I could tell he was. And knew that as a single dad he would not welcome the idea of impregnating yet another woman he wasn't married to.

"I know..." I replied, allowing him to pull me into his arms and comfort me. I rested my head against his shoulder. "And I know I'm over-reacting. I mean, after all, I'm almost 40...how many viable eggs can I have left anyway? I am just not in a position to have a baby right now..."

Joe kissed my temple and rubbed my back. "It's going to be okay, Evie...I know it is," he soothed.

"Really?"

His mouth found mine and softly, gently, he reassured me. "I promise, baby. You're my girl, right?"

I wasn't so sure. I mean, I was completely enamored with him, but we'd been together such a short period of time. Could I depend on him? Would we last beyond a few weeks?

"Yes..." I whispered, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

*****

Around five a.m., when I was tossing and turning in my own bed, I remembered the 'morning after pill' and felt like a complete idiot. There was a 24-hour drugstore less than a mile from my house, and by the time the sun was rising over the horizon, I was feeling much less stressed about the future. But Joe? God...Joe...

I texted him. "Sorry about earlier. Everything is fine."

Almost immediately, my phone rang. Joe's voice was deep and rough from sleep – or lack of it. "You okay?"

I explained my epiphany and we laughed together. I could hear Alex's voice in the background, so I cut it short, claiming to have a million things to do. We'd talk more later...

They came over for dinner that night and, afterwards, the kids played video games while Joe and I went for a walk around the neighborhood. We stopped to watch the sunset at the park, our fingers linked.

"I've been thinking, Evie, and there's a few things I'd like to say, if you don't mind," he began, guiding me towards one of the benches by the creek.

"Okay..."

"First, I am so sorry about last night. I mean, I rushed things and we hadn't even had a chance to talk about the possibility of us sleeping together and birth control and everything."

I gave him a wry smile, "Well, if it hadn't been last night, it would have been soon. And it probably would have been spontaneous, and we probably would have both made assumptions..."

Joe raised an eyebrow at me, "Don't try to let me off the hook, here. I should have been more responsible. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I knew it was a risky time of month so I should have been paying better attention..."

He slid an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him. "You know I'm with you, whatever happens, right?"

I nodded. "I know. You're a stand-up guy, Joe."

"So, are we okay?"

With a reassuring smile that maybe wasn't 100% heart-felt, I replied, "Yeah... I know you didn't deliberately set out to have this happen..."

"No, I didn't." His eyes held mine as he said, "I love you, babe, and I'd never do that to you..."

He loved me? For real? Yes, I think perhaps he did. In some ways, we knew so much about each other. In others, we were still virtual strangers – but that didn't seem to affect the depth of feeling we had for each other.

I tucked my head into the crook between his neck and shoulder. "I know..."

After a moment of companionable silence, he said, "You know what sucks about all of this? I didn't get a chance to sweet talk you in the aftermath..."

Unable to hold back a chuckle, I replied, "Oh, I'm pretty sure you'd have been snoring in about 5 seconds..."

He grinned, "Maybe you're right, but still, before you left anyway..."

"What would you have said?" I prompted, needing to hear a few flowery words, even if I wouldn't totally believe them.

"I'd have said how good we are together..." his hand squeezed my shoulder. "And how beautiful you are... and how well you fit into my arms..." He sighed, "And then probably a bunch of X-rated stuff that you don't want to hear right now..."

I laughed, "An ode to my breasts, perhaps?"

Joe laughed at that, and leaned forward slightly so he could look at my face, "Oh, you want to hear it now, do you?"

I blushed, "Maybe..."

"Here? In this very public park?"

God, I was living dangerously. "Sure..."

He looked around quickly to make sure no one was within earshot, "Okay, yes, your breasts are amazing. Your skin is so soft, and your nipples are so fucking sweet that I'm getting hard just thinking about them..."

I laughed, feeling a delicious tightening in my breasts and brought one hand to rest on his upper thigh.

"And your round ass is completely spankable." Wickedness shone in his eyes as he teased. "And totally fuckable...of course, it's been torturing me for years..."

"It has not..." I protested.

"It most certainly has, Miss Evie... Now, don't interrupt..."

I smiled. "Joe...I hate to break it to you, but this is not 'sweet talk in the aftermath'. This is foreplay..."

His face split into a grin, "Really now? Are you starting to get all hot and bothered?"

"Little bit..." I admitted.

"Well, it's unfortunate that our kids are at your house, isn't it?"

"Yep..."

"And it would be bad form and slightly illegal for me to take you over behind that hill over there and have my way with you on that field of bluebonnets..."

I laughed, "Yep..."

"Of course, if we stay here another 20 minutes, it'll be dark and no one would see us anyway..." he reasoned, tipping my face up to meet his kiss.

And in that moment, I really knew it would be okay. I didn't know exactly what the future would hold, but I knew I was stronger than I'd been a year ago, and happier than I'd been in much longer than that. Sure, maybe it was the endorphins, or pheromones, or whatever, but I was glad Joe was back. And damn glad he'd talked me into getting back up on that horse!